Final Decisions - Goodbye
[ SELF PARA + @95mi | CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT ]
Her heart was thumping loudly inside of her chest, her mothers voice would continue echoing inside of her head over and over again,
‘’this is your last chance, if you don’t debut within this year we won’t be supporting you anymore. I’m sorry, I don’t want to see you wasting away your youth like this if nothing is going to happen.’’
with fingertips pressed against her lips, her teeth would sink into the skin repeatidly as she’d quietly nibble on the flesh as her eyes would wander all over the place. The loud thumping of her heart was almost far too loud for her to even hear what the staff was saying and deciding, they were already on the other side of the room speaking under their breath and whipsering making it hard for her and any of the other present trainees to hear what they have been deciding, the loud thumping didn’t help the case at all. It was one final dance practice, one final vocal coaching, a group choreography where she just gave her all and the trainee was completely out of breath feeling even her clothes clinging onto her skin because of the sweat. Nervousness and stress continued to fill up her mind, one last chance, that was all that kept going through her head and honestly by this point Yewon felt like she could just burst crying right there and right then with how much they have been making her and the others wait.
For fucks sake just say it already, say the names, I’m going to pass out by how much I’m holding my breath right now.
Just as she thought that, the people slowly turned around, making Yewon’s eyes widen and suddenly she could feel her heart inside of her throat and in a second she already regretted asking for them to hurry up. Maybe it was better if she didn’t know, it was better if another hour passed, or a day, or even a week. Her nails dug into her skin and Yewon finally exhaled that loud breath that she previously had kept in for so long, blinking her eyes repeatidly as she simply tried to keep her posture while she waited for the man to speak up and call the few names.
This was it.
This was her last call. Her last chance of being able to debut. If her name wasn’t going to be called then it was going to be game over. Age plays such a big part within the industry that even someone as young as her would be deemed as ‘too old’ to still be a trainee. Yewon would watch trainees younger than her debut one by one, she’d watch people her age already working in the industry and performing on stage while she was still stuck here in the practice room pretending like she didn’t exist.
Slowly names began to be called one by one, and Yewon kept her gaze fixed on the ground while her lips continued to quiver in anticipation. No tears right now, not untill she heard her name being called, or not called. Then she could let them pour out down her cheeks and depending on the situation, they’ll be either out of despair or happiness.
One name, two names, Three names, there were only two more spots left and for a moment this time she lifted her gaze to check who else was left, it was just her and a few other trainees, sadly far too many for her to get her hopes up, and there was no denying that perhaps some of them were so much better than her in any of the skills she owed. Her? Visuals were the most she could offer out of everything. Maybe they will keep that in consideration? The group does need a visual to attract fans right? Right...?
Before she knew it, two more names had been called out and Yewon wasn’t paying any attention to it untill she saw two different trainees take steps forward as they had been chosen.
Ah...
So...
She didn’t make it....Again.....
Yewon shut her eyes tightly and let out a heavy breath, she didn’t have to glance up to know that the hand that reached over to hold her own was Sumi’s and she could already feel a few tears trickling down her cheek. Now turning to look towards her her friend she couldn’t hide the tears anymore as she inhaled sharply, Sumi in return giving an apologetic smile as if trying to comfort her and tell her that everything will be fine, despite the both of them knowing that things were going to change.
‘Are you positive that you don’t want to renew your contract? You still have a chance in debuting in the next group. Though that won’t be any time soon...’ ‘’Positive.’’ Yewon nodded firmly, the response was not just for her, but for Sumi as well. Everyone by now already knew that she’d speak for her instead most of the time and Sumi would just quietly nod her head in agreement each time. Only god knows how could the two of them communicate almost telephatically, because despite the silence Yewon always knew that Sumi would want to say. ‘’It makes no sense for us to continue on training....We would be...Too old when the next girlgroup would follow up and lets be honest, the younger trainees would be picked once again.’’ it was half the truth, and there was really no point in wasting their youth by training all the time over and over again. There was a backup plan thankfully. They might not debut under this company, but they had a space waiting for them. It was that or nothing, and with everything that she went through, Yewon wasn’t going to give up on her dreams. She had one year left to debut before her parents decided to cut ties and take her back to studying to become a nurse instead.
‘’Hello? Yes it’s me Yewon. I’ll accept the offer and hopefully it’s okay to you if I bring a friend. I don’t have the talent to be a solo artist so I’m hoping that you’ll accept a second member along with me for now.’’