If you really believe in what you're doing,
work hard, take nothing personally
and if something blocks one route,
find another.
Cha Yewon , a failed idol trainee who abandoned her family’s wealth
to find herself and embrace her childish dreams of being a fairy and a fulltime fangirl.
Reblog for a starter | Follow for a text message | OC | LITERATE
ALBUM TITLE: LEVEL4
GROUP: 2TRBL
RELEASE DATE: 17.02.21
LANGUAGE: Korean, English
ALBUM TYPE: Full album
SONGS: Fourteen
* We use songs by male artists. Simply pretend it’s females. This is all roleplay and pretend either way!
01. HATE U ( Title, MV )
02. Queens
03. I’m scared
04. Rock Scissor Paper
05. Hobgoblin
06. Ugly dreams ( Laban solo )
07. Tickle x4
08. Cold Rain
09. Freedom
10. Bermuda feat. @aekure ( Dean’s part ) *
11. Machine gun feat. @jistrum ( Mino’s part ) *
12. Bad gurls
13. Blacklist feat @podoyah ( Luli solo )
14. If it wasn’t for the music
Her heart was thumping loudly inside of her chest, her mothers voice would continue echoing inside of her head over and over again,
‘’this is your last chance, if you don’t debut within this year we won’t be supporting you anymore. I’m sorry, I don’t want to see you wasting away your youth like this if nothing is going to happen.’’
with fingertips pressed against her lips, her teeth would sink into the skin repeatidly as she’d quietly nibble on the flesh as her eyes would wander all over the place. The loud thumping of her heart was almost far too loud for her to even hear what the staff was saying and deciding, they were already on the other side of the room speaking under their breath and whipsering making it hard for her and any of the other present trainees to hear what they have been deciding, the loud thumping didn’t help the case at all. It was one final dance practice, one final vocal coaching, a group choreography where she just gave her all and the trainee was completely out of breath feeling even her clothes clinging onto her skin because of the sweat. Nervousness and stress continued to fill up her mind, one last chance, that was all that kept going through her head and honestly by this point Yewon felt like she could just burst crying right there and right then with how much they have been making her and the others wait.
For fucks sake just say it already, say the names, I’m going to pass out by how much I’m holding my breath right now.
Just as she thought that, the people slowly turned around, making Yewon’s eyes widen and suddenly she could feel her heart inside of her throat and in a second she already regretted asking for them to hurry up. Maybe it was better if she didn’t know, it was better if another hour passed, or a day, or even a week. Her nails dug into her skin and Yewon finally exhaled that loud breath that she previously had kept in for so long, blinking her eyes repeatidly as she simply tried to keep her posture while she waited for the man to speak up and call the few names.
This was it.
This was her last call. Her last chance of being able to debut. If her name wasn’t going to be called then it was going to be game over. Age plays such a big part within the industry that even someone as young as her would be deemed as ‘too old’ to still be a trainee. Yewon would watch trainees younger than her debut one by one, she’d watch people her age already working in the industry and performing on stage while she was still stuck here in the practice room pretending like she didn’t exist.
Slowly names began to be called one by one, and Yewon kept her gaze fixed on the ground while her lips continued to quiver in anticipation. No tears right now, not untill she heard her name being called, or not called. Then she could let them pour out down her cheeks and depending on the situation, they’ll be either out of despair or happiness.
One name, two names, Three names, there were only two more spots left and for a moment this time she lifted her gaze to check who else was left, it was just her and a few other trainees, sadly far too many for her to get her hopes up, and there was no denying that perhaps some of them were so much better than her in any of the skills she owed. Her? Visuals were the most she could offer out of everything. Maybe they will keep that in consideration? The group does need a visual to attract fans right? Right...?
Before she knew it, two more names had been called out and Yewon wasn’t paying any attention to it untill she saw two different trainees take steps forward as they had been chosen.
Ah...
So...
She didn’t make it....Again.....
Yewon shut her eyes tightly and let out a heavy breath, she didn’t have to glance up to know that the hand that reached over to hold her own was Sumi’s and she could already feel a few tears trickling down her cheek. Now turning to look towards her her friend she couldn’t hide the tears anymore as she inhaled sharply, Sumi in return giving an apologetic smile as if trying to comfort her and tell her that everything will be fine, despite the both of them knowing that things were going to change.
‘Are you positive that you don’t want to renew your contract? You still have a chance in debuting in the next group. Though that won’t be any time soon...’ ‘’Positive.’’ Yewon nodded firmly, the response was not just for her, but for Sumi as well. Everyone by now already knew that she’d speak for her instead most of the time and Sumi would just quietly nod her head in agreement each time. Only god knows how could the two of them communicate almost telephatically, because despite the silence Yewon always knew that Sumi would want to say. ‘’It makes no sense for us to continue on training....We would be...Too old when the next girlgroup would follow up and lets be honest, the younger trainees would be picked once again.’’ it was half the truth, and there was really no point in wasting their youth by training all the time over and over again. There was a backup plan thankfully. They might not debut under this company, but they had a space waiting for them. It was that or nothing, and with everything that she went through, Yewon wasn’t going to give up on her dreams. She had one year left to debut before her parents decided to cut ties and take her back to studying to become a nurse instead.
‘’Hello? Yes it’s me Yewon. I’ll accept the offer and hopefully it’s okay to you if I bring a friend. I don’t have the talent to be a solo artist so I’m hoping that you’ll accept a second member along with me for now.’’
‘’Huh? Me?’’ Yewon blinked a few times at the claim while tying her hair up, she hadn’t paid much attention to her looks these days or rather she just didn’t notice anything that would have changed. Running up and down from the company for practice, rehersals, training and everything, theres really very little time where the trainee could stand before a mirror and look at her self and every single detail that was present on her skin ‘’I’m naturally thin...But maybe it’s because I’ve been rushing alot these days so I didn’t really have time to sit down and have a proper meal. Do I really look that thin?’’
“i know, i’ve been a trainee but it’s one thing being motivated to do things than instead sort of being bullied to it? i know harsh words, i’ve been there but then again i was always the one who never listened but still.” aram reached out and rubbed the back of her friend in a comforting way. “i still think it’s very wrong. things should never go out of hand and you should never feel like this. if you, then it’s very wrong and should be handled.”
‘’Is it even possible for someone my height to be under fifty kilograms though?’’ the question was random but it was sincere, it was something that Yewon would always wonder continuously. She knew that a female idol is supposed to be around forty---But was it possible for someone her height? Didn’t her height alone add up to the weight? ‘’I have lost some weight ever since joining in as a trainee...But...It just seems impossible for me to go below fifty-four kilograms honestly....I already feel like I’m nothing but bones---Not really. I have some curves but you know. I’m more on the thin-skinny type of body already naturally.’’
(╳) “Why don’t you like my nickname?! I don’t hand those out often, y’know-” In truth, how could one blame Yewon for dismissing the nickname Xiao gave her? She could have been utterly insulted and have all the reason to be after he had abbreviated her name and called her YeYe, which sounded like yéye or “grandpa” in his native tongue. “Don’t think of it so negatively…” He almost whined, giving her shoulder a nudge, his honest attempt to show he meant no harm.
Initially the nickname was nothing but cute, the trainee even going as far as cooing at it, that was untill she thought about it throughrly and the little bit of chinese she could remember hit her making her furrow her brows questioningly if he was trying to pick at her in his native language. ‘’Thats because--’’ Yewon puffed out her cheeks with a huff ‘’I’m still learning chinese and stuff but I do know that Yeye basically stands for grandpa in chinese...And knowing that it’s your native language I can’t help but question if that coincidence is actually something intentional---’’ her eyes now narrowed towards him, her eyebrow raising before she simply let out a snort after he nudged her shoulder with a whine ‘’...As long as you don’t actually plan on calling me grandpa or something--- Yeye noona actually does sound cute.’’
No trace of laughter was left on the male’s features when he listened to the way she pronounced the words, ready to correct her and give advice if needed. She was getting better.“Yes! You said it well just now, definitely understood what you tried to tell me.” Zitao gave her a thumb up along with a soft smile. The accent she had was strong for obvious reasons and although many wanted to sound as native as possible, he wasn’t going to coach them to completely lose their unique pronunciations — even his Korean was still accented after years of practice. “Do you want to rest or study now, huh?” Testing, teasing, challenging her ability to comprehend his words. The male leaned back, merely observing her before helping her out. “Do you want to have a break? I don’t mind at all.”
For a moment the trainee cheered out proudly, it took her a while and it was just a mere sentence for now but atleast she finally got it right meaning she was improving bit by bit despite her obvious accent still being present. Her cheering came to a stop when the male spoke to her in chinese, eyes blinking a few times and her brows furrowing as she tried to understand what was said. Yewon raised her finger with her lips parting about to reply, but she stopped and thought about it more trying to connect the dots and sentences to make sure that she wasn’t going to make a fool of herself. ‘’Oh--!’’ when he spoke again in korean, he confirmed her thoughts making her smile brightly and proudly at herself for understanding (even though it took her quite a few minutes, but hey, atleast she got it right finally.) Heaving a breath and letting out a laugh, the younger nodded her head as she placed her pen back on the table ‘’Yes please. Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud that I’m improving and understanding better. But my head starts hurting after a while....It’s so much thinking--’’
❤◢“ Ahah– that could work! “ Bitna said in agreement as she tried to make sure she didn’t look too much of a mess. Once she deemed she looked good enough she went over to wait for Yewon. They were already late, but even if they weren’t she wouldn’t leave a friend behind. “ I think so, the instructor isn’t….that strict. So we should be convincing enough. “
‘’Not that strict but he’s surely never happy when someone comes in too late...Ah I’m so glad that I don’t have to focus on a future leader role. For now atleast. It’s so much pressure when you’re a leader.’’ the elder made a scrunched up face, she had witnessed before how much tougher it was for someone that was going to debut as a future trainee, having to make sure that you and everyone else comes in time if not even early. The thought alone was stressful. ‘’Okay so lets hurry! According to the bus hours one should be coming in about...ten minutes. Shouldn’t take long for us to arrive!’’
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