He Has Made Everything Beautiful in His Time
“Being a parent makes you a better teacher. Being a teacher does not make you a better parent.” A, now retired, teacher friend said this once and it felt like a gut punch because it could not have been more true.
I was the teacher mom who remembered it was picture day for my class but then forgot to make sure my own children walked out the door looking presentable. I was also the teacher mom, who had the school bus frame with slots for each year’s school picture, but some of the slots remain empty because I forgot to send in the order form. To top it all off, I was also the mom who trained her 1st grader to pack her own lunch every day. I wish I could say it was an intentional parenting strategy, but in reality, she was traumatized by having her lunch tray taken out of her hands at the register and replaced with the infamous pb&j because I forgot to put money on her lunch account in spite of her numerous reminders and smiley face hand stamp reminders from the cafeteria. The list could go on and on, but one particular parenting fail stands out above the rest.
Here’s the background. Emma loves flowers. She always has. She loves giving them and receiving them. She would frequently buy flowers for herself and she is the first to bring flowers to an auntie who just had a baby, a sick relative, or a heartbroken friend.
She was in choir and theater in high school. At her first performance, I noticed the mob of proud parents walking in with bouquets. Being new to the performing arts world, my hands were empty. I was ashamed and determined to not let that happen again. Fast forward to her senior year...we’re racing into her final performance...still forgetting flowers...just feeling lucky to be on time. By that point, it’s almost as if our empty hands are screaming, “Hey, you’re lucky we’re even here!” I was, yet again, disgusted but had unfortunately grown comfortable identifying as the mother who would never remember to bring flowers. God is good though and I was saved by her uncle John who did remember. He was mostly hoping to impress the girl who is now the wife and mother of his four children, so he only gets half credit, which, I guess, is still better than no credit.
Emma started dating a boy in high school who would randomly get her flowers. Sometimes, he would bring them when he picked her up for a date, and sometimes he would just drop them off on his way home from work. It seemed like he brought her flowers at least once a week. The first several times I would ask Emma what the occasion was and each time, she would explain that it was “just because.” Naturally, the mother who never remembered flowers even when there was a reason, was confused by this gesture. Sometimes it was a dozen roses and sometimes it was those hideous neon daisies that I would see at the store and wonder who on Earth buys them. I thought this was cute but crazy at the same time. I would mentally calculate the money he must spend on flowers for Emma and wonder what he could buy if he just saved the money instead of spending it on something that would be dead in a week.
Thankfully, this hopeless romantic married my Emma one year ago today in our backyard. I don’t know if he still brings her flowers. I imagine that he does, but adulting has likely lessened the frequency.
From the time my kids were little, I would pray for their future spouses. I didn’t think to do it all the time but it came up occasionally. The prayer that was consistently part of the conversation though was a plea to God to fill in the gaps and I have consistently seen the answer to this prayer when I see all that my children have become in spite of me.
It just occurred to me on my nightly walk that God sent Tyler to Emma to fill the gap. He gave Emma the flowers she never got from us and so much more. In hindsight, I suppose we should’ve contributed to Tyler’s flower fund instead of judging his spending habits. I suppose it’s not too late to start.
There are no words to convey just how incredibly blessed we are that God brought Tyler into our lives. When I think about all of the events- some good and some not so good- that had to fall perfectly into place to bring them together, I see the Lord’s provision through it all and wonder why I wasted so much time worrying and so little time praying in comparison.
Thank you, Lord, for filling in the gaps; there were so many. Thank you for the union of Emma and Tyler. Bless their marriage and let them always see Your hand in their lives and feel Your boundless love for them in the joys and even the trials. May they pray more than worry and lean heavily on each other, but mostly on You. Amen.
P.S. When you get back from Hawaii, we need to see how well the top of your wedding cake held up so I can get the corner of my freezer back. Love, Mom