#chen vampire

[yeolsmuffin]

Primrose - Jongdae | Part 4 [M]

Genre: Angst & Fluff & Mature | AU!Vampire/Soulmate Chen, AU!Vampire/Soulmate Reader|

Pairing: chenXreader, layXreader

Word Count: 8.8k

Summary: Never did you think that the sparrow birthmark you had since birth would lead you to be thrown into a world filled with vampires. A world where you found yourself falling in love more than once and a world that you would try your best to run from.

One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six |

"She's yours, Jongdae. There's no need to get defensive."

Yixing must have walked away because Jongdae's voice got louder. "When you can't even deny feelings for her, I think I have every right to get defensive."

You started to shake as you forced yourself to lose the connection with Jongdae. You pushed his voice to the back of your mind and even though you had regained your strength more so, you pulled the covers of your bed up to your chin and you tried to ignore the ache between your legs and the pain in your heart.

The dark black sparrow that was engraved on the skin of your hipbone, you wanted to burn it off. You wanted to burn it off, run away and never look back.

Yixing promised you the chance at a life with choices but hearing the way Jongdae spoke about you and feeling the way you did about him, reminded you that you had no choices when it came to your life. You would try to run away. When? You didn't know but first, you would have to learn to control yourself, learn how to live this way, and then earn their trust.

Then you would slip away.

You had gotten stronger just from your own feeding off Yixing and while you still had kinks and aches in your body, you were assured it would get better – although, if you wanted it better faster, you needed to hang around Jongdae more.

But you didn't want to. It felt dangerous and you had no control over how you acted around him.

You stuck to Yixing over the next few days even though he had said the two of you should spend time apart – it wasn't your fault since he was the one coming to your room this time.

Yixing had started to train you – or well, he got Minseok to train you while he watched since Yixing seemed too afraid to put his hands near you lately. You didn't blame him either because the eruption of warmth on your skin when he touched you was something you liked too much.

Which made you feel guilty.

Something you didn't want to feel since you genuinely liked Yixing but yet, you were roped in by Jongdae.

No matter how hard you tried not to look at Jongdae, your eyes would end up following him like they were magnetized to him. Just the way you were doing now when Jongdae entered the room that you were training in. He was wearing all black and despite his agony of you not wanting to be around him, he walked with a confidence that made your body shake. You wanted him-

Minseok flipped you over on the mat and you landed on your back with a groan, causing Jongdae's gaze to snap over to you and you felt the heat of his gaze. "Focus, Y/N," Minseok said firmly. "It's important you learn to defend yourself. Not that you'll ever have to..." He trailed off for a sigh and you saw his gaze flick over next to you and you followed his eyes, seeing Jongdae standing close to you.

"Are you okay?" Jongdae said lowly, meeting your eyes as you looked at him.

You nodded and tried to look away, but you couldn't. Your eyes were stuck on him. His beautiful dark eyes that were framed by strong brows drew you in as if you were his prey.

"Dae, she's not a weak human anymore. I'm not going to be able to hurt her even if I wanted to," Minseok pointed out and you winced. That was enough to pull your gaze from Jongdae. It was enough for you to look from him to Yixing who was sitting in the corner of the room and reading a book. His eyes met yours over the top of the book and he tried to give you a look of encouragement. 

"Again," you said while pulling yourself up to your feet to go again.

Minseok gave you a simple nod and the two of you trained for the next couple of hours with both Yixing and Jongdae watching from the side.

This went on for about two weeks and you were getting better at defending against Minseok, even getting him on his back a few times which always put a devilish grin on his face. But by the end of the two weeks, you were weak again and your body was sore with bruises.

"Yixing," Minseok said lowly, not trying to capture Jongdae's attention but since you had been watching Jongdae for the past few moments, you saw him look up. His gaze didn't meet yours and you saw it harden but somehow he still looked so angelic. You couldn't help but be drawn to look at Jongdae because you were certain he was the most beautiful man you had ever laid your eyes on and so badly you wanted to be wrapped up in his arms again. Just to feel the sparks again. Jongdae met your eyes then and gave you a look telling you that he wanted the same thing and you wondered if he could read your mind. Even if so, you couldn't look away. "She needs to feed."

Jongdae stood, keeping his eyes on you, "She can feed from me."

Minseok sighed, "You know that will complete the ritual-"

"I know," Jongdae snapped. "I don't mind."

"But she might," Minseok noted.

Groaning and smacking your hands against the mat on the ground you opened your mouth, "If we're talking about me, can't we talk to me?"

All three vampire's eyes snapped to you, "I'm sorry, love," Jongdae whispered and you stared at him intently before looking back to Minseok.

"What will complete?"

Minseok looked off into the distance.

Yixing stood up and walked closer to you, "If you won't tell her, I will," and while you didn't look at Yixing, you knew he was talking to Jongdae.

"The mating ritual. It's what I had... done to you by accident. If you bite me and inject me with your venom, our mate bond will be completed and there will be... certain effects. Now, we are stronger if we are together and use each other but once the bond is fully complete – well, there is a lot to it."

You shook your head, "That sounds very forced."

Minseok buts in, "Just don't bite him until you're ready, Y/N. Because once you do..." He stopped himself and cleared his throat, "You need to be sure he's what you want."

"Um, did you forget we're mates? Of course, she is going to want to be with me."

"That's not what I want right now," you half-lied and you sensed Yixing caught on because he looked at you.

You could feel the way Jongdae's mood dropped, "And I will be waiting for you," he said in a low tone, "But don't forget that you're in a house full of vampires that have mates they haven't found yet."

And with that, he left the room.

You knew his words were directed towards you about Yixing and it made everything inside you twist.

"God," Minseok mumbled and pulled you up from the mat, "He's gotten grumpier since he found his mate. I sure hope we aren't going to have this happen eight more times."

Yixing shrugged, "Seven times at most, Sehun doesn't want his mate."

"I used to think we had to be with our mate," Minseok admitted, "But I'm starting to think that we don't have to and that we can love anyone," He trailed off with a sigh, “Everything is different than we expected.”

You stared at Yixing as he shook his head, "No. We are destined to be with our mates, Minseok,” he said but you didn't fully believe his tone.

Minseok nodded slowly, "Sure. So do you want me to feed Y/N, then?" He offered and you automatically sunk back away from him.

Yixing glared at him, "I'll do it. Just go."

"Are you sure you want to do it here?" Minseok asked quietly.

"It's better here," Yixing said through gritted teeth.

Minseok was gone after a few moments and Yixing sighed and stood in front of you, "Are you hungry?" He said with his gentle voice, all of the edge that it once held was gone.

You shrugged your shoulders because you weren't sure. Was that the reason that your throat was on fire or why you wanted Jongdae today more than any day?

"Do you want to feed from me again, or do you have someone else in mind?"

You bit at your lip, "I assume you're the safest option."

"I'm not sure about that," he mumbled, giving you a look and you knew the meaning behind it. The two of you wouldn't speak of it though because there was an elephant in the room. A.K.A, your soul mate. You were starting to develop feelings for Yixing and maybe he was developing his too but there was absolutely no way you could go anywhere with it. He had a soul mate of his own in the world waiting for him and the thought made your stomach hurt the same way it did when you thought of hurting Jongdae.

He pulled you closer to him by your wrist, "Come, let's get you fed."

Since he had a height advantage on you, it would be hard to reach his neck properly so Yixing had sat in the chair he was sitting in earlier with a sigh. He patted his lap once he was settled for you to sit down but you just stared at him. "Yixing," you said gently.

"What is it, darling?"

"Are you uncomfortable with this?" And honestly, you already knew the answer. Both of you were uncomfortable by this - or maybe too comfortable, you couldn’t be sure. It was strange how wrong things felt when they didn't involve Jongdae. But you were still bitter. Bitter that you didn't have a say in life.

Yixing let out a deep breath and pulled you down to sit on his lap with your thighs sideways across his just the way you had been last time. Warmth spread throughout you and it made your body tingle. "It's not that. It's a lot of things. I just don't think that any of us were prepared for this whole situation. Just don't worry, okay? We all care about you and want the best for you. Especially Jongdae and in the end, you guys will work it out."

The words fell out before you could stop them, "What about you?"

Yixing smiled, "I may have taken to you," he said softly before turning his head to give you his neck, "If I hadn't, you would be stuck feeding from someone else - possibly Chanyeol, or,” he laughed, “worse, Baekhyun.”

You just looked at him for a moment. Yixing was stunningly beautiful and in fact so was everyone in this house. You felt as if your looks paled in comparsion so you couldn't understand why Jongdae wanted you to himself or why Yixing seemed to have a slight bias for you. Maybe you were a vampire now, but other than the occasional red eyes, you looked the same.

"What's that expression about?" He asked turning towards you.

You shrugged, "I'm so average. How did I have this destiny to be around the most beautiful people in existence when I'm not extravagant?"

Yixing raised a brow, "Oh, darling, how you are wrong. You've got the whole house of vampires turned upside down over your beauty. Baekhyun is the worst and you don't know how many times he has been choked or pinned down by Jongdae for his thoughts. Besides, it's more than that. You are extraordinary and have so many qualities that our family hasn't seen in a while. We needed someone strong, stubborn, and caring the way you are."

Giving Yixing a smile, you resisted the urge to nuzzle into his neck, "You guys are way better than what I would have imagined vampires to be."

Yixing raised his other brow, "And how did you imagine us to be?"

"Blood sucking jerks, you know the whole deal?"

And with a quick flick of his hand, he had his fingers twisted in your hair gently and he pulled back your head to expose you neck. Before you could even let out so much as a breath, you felt his teeth against your neck which you hadn't felt since Jongdae bit you. For some reason though, you weren't afraid. Instead, the feeling of his teeth and fangs against your skin thrilled you and the impulse you felt to bite was growing so strongly that you felt you were spinning out of control.

"Like this?" He asked against your neck.

But you couldn't even nod.

"Do you understand how it feels to be bit?" He asked gently. "It's extreme. It feels like all of your nerves are on fire. I assume the first time you were bit, that it hurt, didn't it?" You nodded. "It wouldn't hurt again, I assure you." His words chilled your bones even though you were warm from his touch. "Do you want me to show you? Maybe, you'll rethink things with Jongdae then." But all Jongdae's name did was make you feel guilt you didn’t want to feel with Yixing's teeth against your neck.

This time you nodded though, you wanted to be bit again and you almost felt like you were in a trance. You trusted Yixing and you couldn't imagine a better person to show you – even if you knew it was wrong. The red sparrow on your hip proved who you belonged to but in that moment, you didn't want to think of it.

Yixing let out a low groan and pressed his fangs into your skin so quickly that you didn't even feel the small pinch they had made when they pierced the top layer of skin. Your whole body ignited with Yixing's warmth as his fangs dug into your skin. Goosebumps rose on your skin and you had started to shake. Instead of the pain you felt from Jongdae's fangs, you felt good – too good and then Yixing started sucking at your neck, pulling blood from your veins and causing you to slump in his hold. A feeling that could only be explained as ecstasy wracked your body and all you wanted was to be closer to Yixing, more intimate. You wanted him in ways you shouldn't and it was causing you to pant.

And he pulled away quickly, grabbing you tightly to hold you up. "Do you understand why it's so hard for me to stay sane now?" He said lowly with his eyes a bright shade of red that had never looked more beautiful. You couldn't speak at first because you were trying to form coherent words that didn't involve the fact that you wanted to rip his clothes off.

"I-I... I see," you stuttered. "Does it always feel like that for you?"

Yixing winced, "I haven't blood shared with many others before-" and when your eyes widened, he patted your head, "yes, you are special. But with the others... no, it didn't feel the way that it feels now. You are quite different," he said and while you wanted a better explanation, you didn't dare go there. It felt too dangerous. "Now drink up, darling."

He gave you his neck again and you didn't hesitate so much this time. Mostly because if you didn't get away from Yixing soon, you might embarrass yourself. Your fangs sunk into his skin and Yixing tried to bite back his groan that still managed to escaped. You sucked more roughly than you had last time due to your excitement and it made Yixing clutch at your waist desperately.

You had only drank from him a few moments before you felt full and rejuvenated so you slowly retracted noticing the warmth between your legs and Yixing's arousal beneath you. You were surely going to combust if you didn't get distance so you quickly got up from his lap and stood against the wall next to him, trying to catch your breath. "It's so intense," you whispered.

Letting out a shaky breath, Yixing nodded and dropped his head to his hands. "You have no idea."

"Yixing?"

"Mmm?"

"What's your soulmate mark?"

You hadn't known why you had asked, but something in the back of your head had pressed you too and before you could think the question through, it had flown from your mouth.

"Why do you ask?" He quickly asked while his voice shook.

"I don't know. It just came out."

"Well, I guess I can't hide it from you long," and his words made your heart beat against your chest too roughly.

He stood slowly, stretching his body as he did so and then he walked close to you. Too close because you could smell the scent that was Yixing and you were already having trouble resisting him.

Slowly, he pulled up the side of his shirt and tugged gently at his jeans, exposing his hipbone. You gasped as you saw the same sparrow that you had on your hip reflected on his own. Reaching out to touch it, Yixing flinched but let you do so. The skin there was cold, unlike the rest of Yixing's body and it made you pull your hand away. Instead of the red that your and Jongdae's sparrows were, it was a deep blue. What did it mean?

Yixing had a look on his face that said you were just as confused as he was. "I don't know what it means but the reason I told Jongdae to stay away from you that night that he had first saw you was because I had an instinct the moment I saw you. I'm obviously not your mate... but I don't know what this means. I've never seen anyone have the same soulmate mark like this before..."

And while it shocked you, you knew that Yixing baring the same mark as you must have hurt Jongdae and that made everything inside you ache.

Deep down you had a feeling that there would be plenty of hurt to go around in no time - and that scared you, further pushing you to want to get the hell out of their house as quickly as possible.

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

You were trying to be the best student you could in the following weeks. Every day you would train with Minseok and if not with him than with Junmyeon or Kyungsoo. Yixing would watch alongside Jongdae and you found it easier to be friendly with those around you – including Jongdae.

Once you stopped feeding from Yixing – which you had to after the third time and the two of you almost kissed, so the two of you decided you needed to start going for blood bags – it was easier to welcome Jongdae's presence.

Now he would come to your room and talk to you some nights and you no longer tried breaking his bones. You started to learn more about him. Like that he had a beautiful singing voice and he occasionally wrote poems – which he shyly admitted.

He learned more about you and what you wanted to do with your life and to your surprise, he encouraged you to do whatever you wish.

You had begun to feel comfortable and by the time you had passed your four months as a vampire you realized that you were too comfortable. You had started classes at college again and you were continuing your nursing degree.

It was amazing how much easier it was to study as a vampire and you found yourself aceing and passing everything thrown at you with ease. 

Thanks to Yixing, you had managed to even test through a few courses and shorten your time to graduation which you welcomed. The sooner you graduated, the sooner you could leave and that alone was enough to keep your head buried in your books.

For the most part, you were left on your own to do as you please - if you weren’t being bothered by Chanyeol or harassed by Baekhyun.

Yixing and you had gotten better at keeping your distance from each other although it was more on his side than yours. You ached to spend time with him and every time you passed him and inhaled his scent, you felt like you may pass out.

And his lips.

You couldn’t stop staring at his lips since the two of you had nearly kissed just several weeks ago. The worst part of it that you were still wearing the shame of, was that the only thing that stopped it from happening was Kyungsoo walking in on the two of you.

Kyungsoo had looked at you with disappointment and since he had been helping train you, you felt the brunt of his look. It bothered you that he was disappointed in you because the worst part about Kyungsoo was he was very quiet and now, it seemed he had gotten even quieter.

Even when he was training you, it had seemed he chose to keep quiet other than correcting.

Yixing didn’t sit on your training much anymore whereas Jongdae never missed one and there were times - like recently, he had taken to training you himself.

“Come on my sweet Primrose,” Jongdae whispered from behind you, his arms in a tight vice around you. Lately, you were learning much more defense and while you felt like there was a reason for it, Jongdae and the others tried to assure you it was just in case. You didn’t mind much because even though you were starting to enjoy being around the house of vampires, you still needed to get away.

At least for a while.

You needed to know what you wanted and there wasn’t a way you could truthfully decide unless you had some alone time.

“Break away, Prim,” Junmyeon ordered from where he stood by the mat, using the nickname that Jongdae had created for you in the past couple of weeks. “His hold is only as strong as you’ll allow it to be.”

Closing your eyes and licking your lips, you tried to channel the strength that you could. The same strength you used to break Jongdae’s neck before but it was nowhere to be found.

Your body was reveling in the way Jongdae’s molds perfectly to yours and the way you could feel the hard curves of his body. It made you tremble and instead of giving you strength, it made you weaker as you slumped in his arms.

“That’s the opposite of what you should be doing,” Jongdae mumbled with what feels like a smile on his lips. He tightened his arms further around you, causing your bones to start to ache but also making your heart race. “Get away from me, my love, I know it’s what you really want. You seem too comfortable in my arms. Just the way you were that night.”

But you couldn’t move, you just let out a little whimper and when you swear you feel Jongdae growing aroused behind you, Junmyeon groaned. “You are jeopardizing her training, Dae. Make her angry, not aroused.”

Jongdae scoffed, “I’m not going to make her angry,” he said releasing his steel grip and just holding you gently. His chin nuzzled your neck, “Find someone else to do that.”

Junmyeon gave him a look, “Is that what you want?”

But before he could answer, Baekhyun came strolling into the room, “I heard you guys going at it from the top floor,” his sly gaze trailed over to you, “it looks like you’re starting to have effects on your little kitten, after all,” Baekhyun noted and your cheeks flushed. 

Okay, so maybe you had gotten slightly aroused from Jongdae and the fact that vampires could sense it made your whole body heat with embarrassment.

Grabbing your hand, Jongdae squeezed and pressed a gentle kiss to your neck. “Ignore him, he’s just bitter,” Jongdae whispered with a laugh.

Lately, you had been embracing touches and affection with Jongdae easily and you weren’t sure why. But it felt right so you let it happen against your better judgment.

“At first,” Baekhyun said, walking lazily around the mat you were standing on and his eyes watched you like you were his prey - a slight red tone to them. “I thought it was only Yixing who could arouse you,” both your and Jongdae’s bodies froze at Baekhyun’s words, “But it seems both can do so now.”

Junmyeon let out a shaky breath.

“Have you thought of a threesome, Jongdae? You could share her with Yixing because after all, we all know that the three of you share similar marks.” Jongdae’s hands turned to fists and you felt Junmyeon come over and drop a hand on his shoulder.

“Although, you could share with me too. I happen to find your mate very attractive... but Yixing probably wouldn’t allow that. Don’t you think he’s taken to her a little too fondly? And she to him? Isn’t it fucked up that she loves someone other than her mate-” but you couldn’t listen to another second of Baekhyun talking and you pushed out of Jongdae’s tight hold and lunged at Baekhyun.

He had you spun around in a second and you were now stuck in the same hold Jongdae had held you in except for this time, you weren’t comfortable. Baekhyun’s skin against yours made you shake with anger.

“What, Kitten? Are you upset that I’m saying the truth?”

You felt your eyes flash and the red take them over as you shook.

“I know that you almost kissed him,” he whispered in your ear and chills racked down your spine, “I know what you want to do to him-”

With a growl, you bit down on Baekhyun’s arm with fully extended fangs and caused Baekhyun to yelp. Once you had bitten as hard as you could, you used all of your strength to push out of his hold and for a moment your vision went black.

The moment your vision came back, you heard Baekhyun let out a high pitched scream and you realized you had him painfully pinned to the ground.

Jongdae laughed and rubbed your back gently, “That’s my girl.”

“Is anyone going to get her off me?” Baekhyun squeaked.

Junmyeon shrugged, “You’ve been talking about wanting her on top of you for some time,” he admitted.

“Maybe now you will stop your talking about my mate, Baekhyun. Clearly, if she wanted you she wouldn’t have her elbow dug into your dick,” Jongdae said pointing to where you were doing just that.

“Who knew that her defensives were so good? All we needed was Baekhyun to piss her off,” Junmyeon laughed.

Patting your back and gently lifting you up from Baekhyun, Jongdae gave you a genuine smile. “You did so well, Y/N.”

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽  

The next few months you had nearly forgotten the life you had before Jongdae. No longer did you crave to leave this life behind because you felt more comfortable than you had in your life. 

Being closer to Jongdae had so many positive benefits that you had begun to share a bed with him - not that you would get intimate with him because Jongdae never tried and he would only touch you if you allowed him to. 

He wasn’t trying to push himself on you and gave you the space you asked for when you asked for it. It seemed he was trying to keep you the best he could. 

Normally, the two of you would stay in bed till noon due to your late-night college classes and the few businesses the clan had that Jongdae kept up with the books on – but today was different. 

Something stirred inside you and woke you before the sun had even risen. The feeling in the pit of your stomach told you to call your sister and while you had called her a week ago, you called her again. 

Only so often would you keep in touch with your sister because she couldn’t know you as you were now and if she knew, she would be put into danger. She wasn't one to believe supernatural things and most likely she would try to fight Jongdae for touching you – well, that is if she cared about you the way she once did. 

There was something different with her now and you often heard her sniffling to herself every time you called – and your sister wasn't a chronic crier. The two of you had talked briefly today and only then did her tears remind you of what the day was. The death anniversary of your parents. 

You hadn’t even thought of them since you had been turned and the thought made you depressed. How would they have felt if they were alive? Their little girl was now a vampire and living with a house full of men. That thought made you laugh because your father would have had a fit. 

With thoughts of your parents on your mind, you drifted outside to get some fresh air and some space away from Jongdae. Rolling out of bed, you wrapped a rob around your pajama clad body and you headed down the stairs. You knew you wouldn't have much time alone because the other vampires would hear that you were awake soon so you tried your best to be quiet while you hurried. 

Not only would Jongdae come for you, but you would be annoyed by Baekhyun if he thought no one was around. Clearly, nothing you could do would scare him off.

Sitting outside during the morning was something you had enjoyed and you were thankful that even being a vampire didn't restrict that the way the tales did. The most it did, was cause your skin to tingle. However, it was only eight in the morning when you felt your skin begin to tingle even more and when you looked behind you, you saw messy-haired Yixing standing behind you. 

Yixing was the first to find you outside only moments after you had sat down on the wrought iron bench. You knew Yixing could sense the change in your demeanor this morning because his eyes were soft as he looked at you.  

You could still feel your heart ache as you looked at him. While you craved Jongdae in a way, there were ways you craved Yixing and it made staying away from him hard. Which you had been trying to stay away from him in the past months and it was hard. The two of you still talked and he brought you books on occasions but no more blood sharing took place. In fact, he would stay as far away from you as he could when the two of you were in the same room.  

It didn't matter how far he was from you though because you could feel his eyes on you constantly and you were sure that he too could feel your eyes on him. 

"You're distressed," he said as more of a statement than a question. 

"How did you know?" You asked as you flicked your eyes back out into the forest that was behind the manor. 

Your ears twitched as you listened to Yixing's quiet steps towards you. "I always know." 

Tapping your fingers against your arm, you sighed. "That's cryptic." 

A small laugh escaped him, "We just have a connection – maybe on my end more than yours, but I can feel a lot of your emotions," he admitted. 

"How do you know they aren't your own emotions?" You wondered with a raised eyebrow as he sat next to you, maintaining a proper distance between the two of you. 

Looking out into the forest, Yixing contorted his face, "I can feel that it's you. Trust me. Nice to know it's only me that picks up on you," he said giving you a playful nudge of his elbow. 

A smile played at the corner of your lips, "If I could pick up on your emotions, I would. Trust me." 

Yixing said nothing to that. 

You watch as the leaves of the forest trees ripple in the soft wind. Every soft movement reminded you that even though you were undead, that you were alive. The littlest things in the world continued to move around you making your thoughts drift back to your parents who unlike you, never got the chance to fully live. Now that you had believed in the supernatural since well, you had to, you wondered if there was a way to connect to them or to talk to them somehow. Were they in heaven? If so, could you speak to someone in heaven? 

But were you even allowed? Weren't you an abomination? Would God even accept you? 

The world was a mystery to humans but you thought that it had to be just as much so for the supernatural – whatever else there was out there that you had yet to ask about. 

"Do ghosts exist?" 

Yixing's gaze snapped over to you once more, "Why do you ask?" 

You didn't want to talk about them out loud. You wanted to mourn in silence. "I'm curious." 

"They do but there is more to that answer than just that. I'm not the best person to ask about that. Actually, it's Sehun." 

Choking on air, you looked at him, "Sehun has an interest in something other than himself?" 

Yixing gave you a smile, his dimples deepening, "Surprisingly, yes. He lost a close friend some time ago so he learned everything he could – but don't mention the friend," and you swear Yixing flinched when he said that. 

"I guess if I really want to know, I'll have to really psych myself up to it." 

"I'm sure he'll overhear this conversation since he loves hearing about himself," Yixing laughed nudging you again. 

"I'm certain that at this point I know more about him than he knows about me – and there isn't much too Sehun." Anytime you had been around Sehun was filled with him talking himself up and rambling about how good he looked. It made you laugh because even though it was arrogant, you found it adorable while at first you never thought you could see Sehun as adorable seeing as how he initially looked intimidating to you. 

Now the thought of any of the vampires in the house being intimidating seemed like a joke. They all proved to be soft and fluffy in their own ways and it still never ceased to amaze you. 

"So, are you feeling better?" Yixing asked as you continued to watch the leaves dance. 

"You tell me that," you replied. 

You weren't feeling better but you were distracted at least, and you guessed that was a good start. There was a time when you couldn't be distracted from mourning them but it had been seven years since they had died and just like you almost had, you often forgot their death anniversary. It never hurt any less that they were gone but it just got easier. Never better, but at least easier. "I'm getting mixed signals," he whispered. 

Shouldn’t your life had gotten less complicated as a vampire? Not having to worry about the things you used to as a human and definitely having fewer needs? No, it only got more complicated. 

Especially since you were stuck between two vampires. 

It was something you didn't admit often but you knew you had feelings for Jongdae and Yixing now that you had the chance to be around the both of them without anything intimate happening. 

Mixed signals was right because that's exactly what your heart was sending you and you couldn't help but miss the days when you had no interest in men. Times before Jongdae, Yixing, and the red flash of your eyes. 

Sometimes you wanted to burn the damn mate mark off your hip but it was always no more than a thought because you were too much of a victim to the way Yixing sent you warmth and Jongdae sent you sparks. 

"Y/N?" Jongdae called out from the door leading to where you were sitting. 

You turned back towards him and saw his disheveled appearance. Taking it in, you sighed and stood up. "I'll talk to you later, Yixing." But you weren't so sure you would since Yixing and you didn't talk much anymore. Was it because he caught you staring at his lips or because you caught him staring at your lips nearly every time? 

Jongdae reached out for you as you neared him and when his fingers brushed your skin, the sparks ignited. "Are you okay?" He asked in a frantic tone, "I had a bad dream." 

Wrapping your hand around his wrist, you pulled him back into the house, "I'm okay," you lied. When had you gotten so soft for Jongdae? You hadn't known and you didn't want to think of it as you pulled him up the stairs and back into the bedroom you shared with him. 

For hours, you let him nuzzle into your neck as he told you about his dream that sent chills down your spine. 

He mentioned your parents and how they had died. 

In fact, he had seen how they died in his dream. 

You didn't know the connection or how Jongdae had seen the exact details of your parents’ death but you couldn't shake the feeling of impending doom that spread throughout your bones. 

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽  

Awaking from a soft sleep, you felt Jongdae's arm around your waist. You turned around to look at him, not even remembering falling asleep. 

Jongdae's eyes were wide and it was then that you noticed the bags under them. It wasn't from lack of sleep because if anything, the two or you had gotten even more sleep together lately. Unintentionally, your hand shot out to rub the circles under his eyes. "What's wrong?" You found yourself asking. 

He tried to shake it off as if it was nothing and he just pulled you closer. "It's nothing, my dear Primrose." 

"Jongdae," you spoke firmly. 

His eyes wouldn't meet yours as he said, "I'm hungry." 

You stared unblinkingly, "When is the last time you fed?" 

Silence. 

Grabbing his cheeks, you watched his eyes grow wider, "When was the last time you fed?" You reiterated.  

"Love-" 

"Dammit, Jongdae. How come I was forced to feed when you can just go hungry and expect me not to care?" 

He sighed, "I don't expect you to care. I'm okay just caring about you." 

Shaking your head, and tightened your grip on him, "I know that I don’t always treat you the best and I'm still working everything out, but I do care about you, Jongdae. Now tell me," you went on, "when was the last time you fed?" 

"When I bit you," he mumbled, shame crossing his face. 

Your heart sunk and you felt your body shaking, "Jongdae, you've got to be kidding me! If that's true, why haven't you fed?" 

Tears brimmed his eyes, "I just... knowing... what I did to you, I didn't feel like I deserved to feed and I knew you were hurting and it didn't seem fair. I wanted to hurt too since I had hurt you. I've felt guilty just looking at blood since my last memory is of turning you." 

A tear fell and you wiped it away, "Oh, Jongdae. Please don’t starve because of me. I'm not hurting anymore, okay?" 

In that moment, you realized how weak he looked and how much skinnier he had gotten in the past year. "How have you lasted so long being well?" 

Licking his lips, he looked you in the eyes, burning you straight to your soul. "The last blood I had was yours and your blood makes me the strongest." 

He had lasted a whole year without feeding and it made you sick considering that to feel good, you needed to feed weekly and daily if you were training. "I wish you hadn't done that," you whispered, feeling a tear fall from your eyes, "I never wanted you to be hurt." 

Jongdae wiped it away and brushed his fingers across your pouting lips, "I've done so much damage to you. You are the one who didn't deserve it." 

Before any coherent thought could form in your head, you pressed your lips to Jongdae's, causing him to gasp in response. He kissed you back, pressing his fingers into your hair and your whole body seemed to light up with his sparks. You trembled under his hold but this just made you grasp his face tighter. The taste of Jongdae's lips was something you hadn't tasted in so long that it almost felt new. 

You had never done drugs before but you imagined this is what drugs tasted like to an addict. Jongdae pulled away after a moment and he looked at you with bright red eyes. "Why did you do that?" He asked with a pant to his voice. 

With a shrug, you dropped your hands from his face and placed them on his neck, "I don't know. It just felt right." 

A coy smile spread onto his lips. "You have no idea how happy that makes me." 

His warm red eyes were searching your face and then you knew what you needed to do. Jongdae had been so good to you. Standing by, not pushing a relationship on you, letting you feed from someone other than him and then not even keeping you from that same person when he knew you two had feelings for each other. So easily he could have tried to force the relationship on you, but he didn't. He just stood on the sides, waiting for you to come to him and until you were comfortable. He offered to heal you and to give you his blood, no matter how much you declined and he offered his heart, no matter how much you threw it on the ground. 

Jongdae wasn't the evil forceful man you thought of him to once be. He was good and as good as good could get. So, you would let him feed on you because he needed the strength and deserved it for offering you the same when you were weak. "Feed on me, Dae." 

He froze. "What?" 

"Feed from me." 

"Are you sure?" He asked hesitantly but you saw his red irises start to shake. 

You nodded and pulled his head down to your neck, "Please. Just don't go too far," and you didn't have to say in what way because you knew that he knew. 

"You don't have to do this," he reminded with his lips gentle on your neck, "I can feed from anything." 

You shook your head, "I want it to be me." 

Jongdae pulled his head back up so his eyes could meet yours and he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, "I have years of control," he stopped for a moment, "I know the first time was an accident but I promise, if and when you want me to stop, I can. It won't be like the first time." 

"I know what it's like," you said without thinking. 

Closing his eyes, Jongdae sighed, "I know. Yixing feed from you." The hurt etched onto his face looked so permanent that you wanted to do anything to take it away. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." 

He half-smiled, "It's okay. You have free will to feed on whomever or to be fed from. Just like now. Okay? So don't take anything you don't want." 

But you wanted it. You wanted to help and heal Jongdae. Maybe it was because you were vulnerable about your parents' death seven years ago or maybe it Jongdae was finally breaking your resolve. Either way, you wanted to feel his fangs in your neck the way you had felt Yixing's. "Please. Just bite me." 

After a few minutes, Jongdae moved back to your neck, pressing kisses on the skin before running his fangs against the delicate skin. "Are you sure?" He said in a sultry voice  

"Yes." 

His fangs pressed into your skin all at once and you slumped into his arms and into the bed. He was gentle as he pulled you closer to him and began to suck at your skin. You felt blood being pulled away from your veins and into his mouth and it made a moan escape your lips. Jongdae groaned in response and bit down harder but it didn't hurt the way you thought it would and it just spread the feeling of ecstasy through your body. Sparks bounced around inside you and it left you a shaking mess in Jongdae's arms. You could feel yourself getting wet just from the contact and it made you press your legs tightly together. 

Jongdae's hand caressed your waist as he continued drawing blood from your neck and you swore you could feel his hand trembling as well. When you pushed yourself closer to him, a moan fell from his lips and vibrated against your skin. You felt warm – too warm and you wanted Jongdae's clothes off. You wanted to feel his naked body against yours so you could feel every little spark that each cell of his skin drew on your body. 

It took everything in you not to grab at his pants the moment you felt how hard he was and thankfully, at that point, Jongdae pulled his fangs from you and gently licked at the place his fangs had been. His breath was catching in his throat as he cleaned your neck gently. 

"That's not even half of how intense that can be," he said in a low and cracked voice. 

His eyes were no longer red and the bags underneath were faded as you watched. 

"I feel much better, thank you." 

Jongdae had never looked more beautiful than in that moment, you thought. You wanted all of him, to yourself, forever. "I want you," you mumbled. 

Your eyes were red and you could feel the stark difference in them as Jongdae caressed your cheek, "Blood sharing makes you feel that way. Don't let it sway you, my love. As much as I want to have you only mine forever, I'm not going to do anything you're not ready for." 

"No. I want you. Forever," you said firmly. Part of you felt like you were spinning out of control, while the other part felt perfectly sane. Blood sharing was surely clouding you from thinking straight but it didn't matter to you. Jongdae was your mate for life no matter what. The sparrow on your hip proved as much, so why not take it a step further? 

"What are you asking for?" He said in a broken voice. 

"I want to feed from you." 

His brown eyes were wide, "That will complete the mating ritual and you will be bond to me eternally – you will really be my Primrose then. Are you sure that's what you want?" 

You nodded, feeling in somewhat of a trance. "I'm already yours. I can feel it in my bones." 

A skeptical look was on his face, "I don’t know love. It feels a little risky. I'm not sure you're ready for that – you still have feelings for Yixing." 

"I want you. I like you, Jongdae. Please. I want this. Please." 

Rolling over on his back, Jongdae pulled you on top of him. "If you truly want this, bite me. I won't stop you, but you need to know what this entitles, love-" but before he could go on, you were leaning down and pressing your lips to his neck. His words got lost on his tongue and he snapped his mouth closed. 

Your fangs brushed his neck and you felt a thrill running through you. Without further thinking, you pressed your fangs into him and before you could stop it, you sucked at his blood gently. Jongdae quivered underneath you and moaned uncontrollably. His arousal was apparent under you and it throbbed just as you felt your core do as you pressed yourself closer to his body and rubbed yourself gently against him. 

Jongdae's hands shot up and clutched your hip bones to keep you from moving as your fangs dug deeper into his skin and caused his hips to buck gently against yours. You could feel him lose control and unravel underneath you and it made you smile. 

The moment you stopped sucking his blood and went to pull your fangs free, you felt venom eject from your fangs and into his veins. Jongdae's grip grew so tight on you that you swore you would break as he moaned out your name. 

Sparks erupted more than they ever had and you felt like your whole body was electrocuted but yet in a blissful way instead of painful. You felt more pleasure doing so than any orgasm you had ever felt and it left you breathless. Eventually, your fangs retracted and you slumped down onto Jongdae. 

"Wow," Jongdae gritted out. 

You closed your eyes, "I think I love you," you heard yourself say. 

It felt like an out of body experience as the words tumbled from your mouth. You wanted to scream and take them back, but you couldn't because they were true. You just completed the mating bond ritual with Jongdae and now you were bound to him. And you were scared. 

"You know I love you," Jongdae said trying to catch his breath. "So much. And now you're really mine," he said nuzzling into you. 

Coming down from your high, you started to feel fear and panic wash over you and all you knew was that you had to get out of here and out of Jongdae's arms.

What had you just done?

You could feel the way your heart had stopped and the way your pulse hammered against your wrists.

You had to leave. You couldn't love him. You couldn't be his mate. You couldn't be here. 

Why? 

Because you were scared. 

Terrified. 

And while you couldn't give that many good reasons to leave, you knew you had to or you felt you were going to go insane. 

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽  

Packing very little things into a small backpack, you watched Jongdae's sleeping form with fear. The moment you left, he would know and you had no idea how much this mate bond intensified it all so you had to be quick. All of your days running with Junmyeon would finally come in handy. 

You were leaving Jongdae and while it hurt, you couldn't stop your feet from getting you the hell out of there. 

He was your mate. 

He loved you. 

And you were starting to love him. 

It would be easy to stay and accept this love but you couldn't. 

You weren't one for easy and you weren't one to fall for fate. 

There was part of you that wanted to stay and curl up into his arms forever but another part of you was afraid of the way you could now hear Jongdae’s heart beat in your head and you felt a constant spark in your chest.

But the moment you had your bag over your back and you were out the back door of the manor, you felt warmth and your eyes shot to beside you to where Yixing had appeared. "You can't leave," he said in a desperate voice. 

Your hands that clutched the straps of the bag, trembling as your knuckles turned white. You maybe loved Yixing too yet you had decided to complete the mating bond and nothing made you feel sicker. You had to leave. This proved it. Staying would only hurt you, Jongdae, and Yixing. "What?" You asked quietly, hoping not to wake Jongdae who was probably only stirring from his sleep as you noticed a change in his heartbeat pattern. 

"You completed the bond," and the hurt was evident on his face, "so you can't leave." 

You looked down at your feet, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." 

"Yes, you did. And that's okay, he's your mate. But you can't leave." 

"I didn't mean to hurt you," you whispered. 

He walked over to you and grabbed your chin to pull your gaze up, "You'll hurt me if you leave, darling." 

"But I have to," you argued in a small voice. "I can't be here. It's too much." And while your mind told you that you had a good reason to leave, your heart was screaming otherwise.

Yixing's lips trembled. "If you leave, you'll die." 

"What?" You asked in shock. 

He nodded solemnly. "Once the mating bond is complete, if you leave your mate and are away from them for too long, you will slowly die – regardless of how much blood you get your hands on. You will die just from not being around Jongdae... and so will he. It's one of the only ways you can truly die." 

You could feel your pupils shake from this new information. "But why?" 

"It's just how it is," he said as his hand on your chin sent you warmth, "That's why it was suggested you wait until you're ready." 

Yixing must have thought the information would make you stay but if anything, it only scared you more. You were shaking so much that you could barely see straight but you knew you had to get out of there. The fact that you could die without Jongdae only made you want to run away more and your mind started to reject any sane thought that tried to press into your head. "I'm sorry," you whispered as you lifted up to press your lips gently to Yixing's. 

You felt a tear drop from your eyes and land onto Yixing's cheek. His eyes were closed and you felt his arm wrap around your wrist as you continued to kiss him. In your head, you were saying 'sorry' over and over to both him and Jongdae. Warmth filled your body once more before you pulled away from the kiss and before he could open his eyes, you shook yourself from his hold and ran. As fast as you could. 

The last thing you could hear was his voice calling for you as the warmth escaped your body and you went cold.

✧ ☾five☽ ✧

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Tagging: @exodirtymind (thank you for the love and support, dear) and @astronomyturtle.