One-sided Halbarry drabble but with *drum rolls* Barry having a crush and Hal not returning!? Maybe Barry's POV?
In the end, he didn’t ever get to say goodbye.
Another day, another possible end of the world. Hal is supposed to be on his anniversary date with Carol so Barry is certainly surprised to see him suddenly pop up behind Zoom with a bright green construct already at the ready. While Zoom is one of Barry’s worst enemies, the fight is supposed to be an easy one. Hal is here to help after all. They have yet to find someone who can beat their team up attacks and yet - a wrong move - a second too late - Barry sees Hal fall to the ground. Unmoving.
The night after Hal’s wedding, Barry spend crying alone in his apartment. He finally told Iris the truth and regretted every single second of it. Because now he had to face his feelings all on his own without anyone to take his attention away from them. And the truth had hurt. Not just for Iris but also for Barry himself. He’d had to admit that he had simply used her, no matter what his intention had really been in the beginning and that he had never truly loved her the way she deserved even for a second. And yet, Barry would have done it all over again to not be alone with his feeling for a man who would never love him back the way Barry wanted him to. Barry wondered whether that made him a bad person. Horrible even.
A sob escaped him before another wave of tears and snot tore through his body, leaving him behind completely hopeless.
His whole charade breaks down when Hal asks him to be his best man.
To show how little in denial about his feelings for Hal he was, Barry asked his friend Iris on a date. A normal date. For normal people without feelings for their straight male best friend. They went to a restaurant, had fun, ended up in bed and it’s so lackluster Barry could cry. Why didn’t it work? Iris was a beautiful, kind and smart woman that could easily challenge him in every aspect of his life so why wasn’t it working? What more did he want? What more did he need? Whenever Iris soft hands touched him, Barry yearned for callouses and rough skin. Her silky kisses made him hunger for a pair of chapped lips and light freckles over a long nose. Her green eyes left him cold while the mere thought of warm brown eyes made him feel more than he knew what to do with.
Iris didn’t even seem to notice how little Barry was invested in their relationship and simply kept going with twice as much passion for him. Barry had always had trouble connecting with most people so why should the beginning of a relationship be any different for him? He would learn to love her over time. Barry was sure of it.
Barry wasn’t in denial. He really wasn’t. And when his heart beat a little faster, the room got a little brighter, his heart started aching every time he looked at Hal, who was to tell him that these weren’t just normal feelings for a best friend to have. Barry wouldn’t know. He’d never had one before. He certainly wasn’t in love. No thank you. He couldn’t be. Because Hal liked women, not men and that would only leave Barry with a broken heart and no one to turn to. Barry wasn’t really an overly social person and it showed with how few friends he’d managed to acquire over the years. Who would even listen? And what if he lost Hal because he couldn’t keep his feelings under control? So no. Barry wasn’t in denial. He really wasn’t.