#2 for the ficlet ask game maybe?
2. delicious / mystery
oh btw for those who don’t know, this is canon. i’m not joking. the video swap sure is something huh?
“Did I ever tell you about the time I ate Branzy?”
Clown blinks, unsure of how to respond to that. Of all the deranged things his boyfriends have said, this has to be among the worst.
“Chief!” Branzy groans. “Clown doesn’t need to hear about that!”
Just because Branzy seems incredibly flustered by the mention of whatever insane thing they’d gotten up to, Clown decides it’s worth hearing about (always fun messing with Branzy).
“Why not? Sounds like a fun time.”
“Clown!” Branzy groans, even louder than before. “You can’t make me talk about that!”
“Sure we can,” Chief grins. One of the tentacles hanging from his head as some sort of strange substitute for hair brushes Branzy’s cheek affectionately. Branzy smacks it away, although he doesn’t really seem bothered.
Chief laughs a bit and begins his tale. “So it was a long, cold night, and my stomach was rumbling-”
“-and for some reason you couldn’t just eat any of the fish in the ocean you crawled out of-”
“Shush, lavender, I’m trying to tell a story.” Branzy frowns, turning and crawling into a corner to sulk. “Oh, come on, don’t be like that.”
“Don’t you want diamonds, violet?” Clown doesn’t look at where Branzy has gone.
Rather predictably, Branzy is by his side in under a minute, lured by the promise of riches. “Diamonds?”
“Gotta earn ‘em first,” Clown twirls a gem in his hand, casually tossing it into the air and catching it. Branzy’s eyes follow it like a cat’s, fixated on his target.
“By telling me a story, hyacinth,” Clown looks over at Chief, who’s nearly bursting from laughter. Clown winks at him.
“Gosh darnit, Clown!” Branzy whines. Clown looks down at him innocently, then back over at Chief, who quickly launches back into his story.
“Where was I? Oh, yes. I was hungry, and the only thing that could satisfy me was the taste of something sweet. Wouldn’t you know it, there’s nothing sweeter than our little lilac over here.”
Chief walks over as he speaks, spinning Branzy around until they’re staring directly into one another’s eyes. Branzy looks just a bit terrified, glancing nervously at Clown. “Yeah!” he laughs. “Pleasedonteatme-”
“Don’t worry, I’m plenty full now,” Chief assures him. The unspoken threat hangs heavy in the air. Chief lets Branzy stand frozen, petrified for a moment before he laughs. “Nah, I’m just kidding. I won’t eat you.”
Branzy doesn’t look very reassured. Chief continues, unbothered.
“So I go searching, and who do I find but Branzy, welcoming me into his home with open arms! He’s not even worried!”
“Haha, yeah,” Branzy agrees, inching closer to Clown. “Help-”
Clown frowns, reaching out and pulling Branzy into his side. Branzy wordlessly clings to him, his nervous tremble apparent. Clown isn’t liking the picture this is painting. “What exactly did you do?”
“Oh, I just swallowed him alive and he stayed in my stomach for a few hours before I spat him back out!”
That was... Not what Clown had thought. Really, he didn’t quite know what to make of that.
“Not the stomach,” Branzy whispers, and Clown looks down at him before he locks eyes with Chief.
“Eating people is not generally considered nice, Chief.”
“He’s fine, see?” Chief gestures to where Branzy has his face pressed to Clown’s side, hands digging hard into the fabric of Clown’s costume. “Uh, mostly.”
“Look, Branzy-” Chief starts. Clown can hear Branzy inhale sharply before he turns to look at Chief. “I’m sorry about that, really.”
“It’s alright!” Branzy assures him, voice still a bit shaky. Clown isn’t fully convinced, but Chief seems to accept it.
“So- uh, no hard feelings?” Chief asks sheepishly. Clown watches him like a wolf, ready to pounce if he sees Branzy hurt. Even his boyfriend isn’t immune to his vengeance if Branzy is hurt.
“No hard feelings!” Branzy agrees, too quickly. Clown narrows his eyes, but for now they are alright. He won’t pounce today.
