What is Home: Chosen Lost Part 16
[It’s been months since my rescue and I’m still getting used to the new environment. I grew up in all white then thrust into the deep underground of caves of muted greens, browns and greys into a new world of bright colors. My life of a Chosen was so different than The Otherside. Although I was a blood slave … my virginity was surprisingly still intact. The males that kidnapped me kept me in a reverent pedestal even though I was kept against my will. They provided me clean water, brought me food, they even provided clothing, books, and various knick-knacks. I was never mistreated. They never overfed from me and though I tried to refuse to feed so that I could die they never let me succumb from thirst that would have inevitable led to my death.
Even with this experience, the one thing that really drove me to the depth of my despair was that they just never spoke to me. I wonder now if it was because they wanted to separate themselves from me and to only think of me as an object rather than a person? To prevent them from feeling attached. I was the only female amongst a number of males. At least from what I could see from my cell. Perhaps there were others … I have no idea since I only provided blood.
For so many years, I was alone. They even kept any prisoners away from me as well unless I needed to feed someone. So there was no one for me to talk to and it was so very lonely. I ate by myself, I read by myself and often I talked to myself, I sang to myself just to keep myself sane. For eighty years … I was forgotten by the Scribe Virgin and endured years of solitude not of my own making.
Today … I was free … but yet I felt like it was just a different environment. The Brotherhood provided my own room at the manse, I even had one at the Great Camp which I had yet to visit. One of the Brother’s shellan Mary even suggested that perhaps I would feel more comfortable back at the Sanctuary during a few very long lengthy conversations about my experience … but nothing felt like home. Not anymore.]