#chowderdexfarmernursey

[bittysvalentines]

From @omgtranspoindexter

To @sexydexynurse

Happy Valentines Day! Enjoy our favorite poly in a happy coffee shop together!

[bittysvalentines]

Haus for the Holidays

From: @sexydexynurse

To: @tangotangredi

Summary:  Hausgiving with a Haus full of Frogs and Taddies is a bit different from previous years. Dex and Tango join forces to make it the best they possibly can to show their appreciation for their teammates and datemates.  Rating: T  I love everything you make for this fandom, so I hope that you enjoy this as a small way to give back to you. 

The early alarm wasn’t anything new. Sleeping in a different bed to keep from waking up his datemates when the early alarm went off wasn’t entirely unusual either. Pulling a giant turkey out of a bucket first thing in the morning? That was fairly unusual. 

Still, it had to be done. So, he pulled the bird out of the bucket and patted it down before settling it into the pan. Once it was in the oven, the oven was set to 500, and the timer was set to 30 minutes, he made it a little breastplate out of foil.

“Hey Dex.” Tango’s greeting was cut off by a yawn and Dex had to focus to keep from yawning in return. 

“Hey. You gonna start on the Pane Sciocco first?”

“Who you calling sciocco? I’m not stupid.”

Dex rolled his eyes while Tango smiled. “Did you pick this kind of bread just so you could keep making that joke?”

“No. It’s a good bread. And one of the few things I’m good at baking.” 

Dex snorted. Tango was a perfectly fine baker. Even when he did something weird, he got lucky and it worked out somehow. Someone just managed to convince him that he wasn’t as good as he was.

“I just didn’t tell you that most people outside of Tuscany call it Pane Toscano so that I could make the joke.”

He stopped and stared at Tango. The timer going off shook him out of it and he pulled the turkey out to apply the breastplate and insert the probe thermometer, then turned the oven down to 350.

“You cook turkey weird.”

“Whadya mean?”

“First, it’s in a bucket, now it’s in armor.” 

“It’s gonna taste good, though.” 

There was a pause. “The bucket makes it taste good?”

“The brine.”

Dex started pulling things out for prep. The pies were already ready, and the chocolate pie would stay in the refrigerator and be served chilled. The appetizers were all ready to go. Those could all be put on the kitchen table, out of the way, for now. He passed Tango his premade and formed pasta and his bread dough starter. Then he started piling things. Pre-prepped potatoes and sweet potatoes, the ingredients for green bean casserole, cranberry relish, wild rice dressing, a roast, and the rest of the stuff Tango needed for his baked two cheese rigatoni. 

Dex stared at the pile. Logically, he knew they’d planned on how to get everything ready on time. That’s why the potatoes were all pre-peeled and chopped. It’s why the pasta was rolled and the pies were made. It’s why they had three crock pots. But so many things still needed to cook. It was just Tony and him. And if he was honest, people probably expected them to fail. 

“How does the brine make the turkey taste good?”

Tango’s question stopped the train of self doubt. He and Tango had this. If people expected them to fail, those people were about to learn a thing or two. 

“So, like chemistry and biology right?” 

Tango nodded while he stirred yeast into water and then started helping Dex sort the ingredients for side dishes while Dex explained how salt helped break down the proteins in the meat and kept them from contracting and squeezing all the juice out.

“Now, some chefs say it makes the turkey watery rather than juicy, but.” He paused and shrugged. “Been making it with Alton Brown’s recipe for years and it tastes good to me.”

Dex paused to get the roast into a crock pot and cooking, and by the time he was done, Tango’s yeast water was foamy. Tango started working on the bread in earnest while Dex transferred the potatoes and sweet potatoes into their own crock pots. 

Three days before, Nursey had shown up with two extra crock pots that he said were on loan from friends. Dex decided not to question it considering they weren’t in boxes and he <em>had</em> spent a day the week before considering the pros and cons of installing a second oven in the Haus. (He talked himself out of it when he decided that, probably, once Tango graduated, no one would use the oven they already had).

After the crock pots were slow cooking the potatoes and roast, and the bread was set aside to rise, Dex and Tango took a moment to stretch. Then Dex’s phone went off. It was actually lucky that it went off then, because he’d just washed his hands and could answer without getting anything dirty. 

“Something important?”

“Last of the RSVPs. Looks like other than the seven of us who live here-”

“Does Cait actually live here?”

Dex tossed his head to indicate it didn’t matter. 

She was there most of the time. The only reason he didn’t consider Matt to live there was that the Taddies had agreed that the Haus was Whiskey’s space to be with Ford and Tango. Whiskey visited him across the street. 

“Other than us, Matt, Hops, Bully, and Louis and his datemate, we are going to have four Spawn. We’ll have to do a kiddie table for them.” 

“Your table isn’t big enough?”

“Nah, it’ll fit twelve in a pinch, but there’s no way sixteen will be comfortable to eat.”

“Is sixteen not good? You look weird.”

Dex considered making a self-deprecating joke, but stopped himself. “It’s fine. I just hoped more would come. We invited the whole team, but half had already made other plans. I just want everyone to feel like they’re equally included.”

“I get it.” Tango held out a fist. “We’re gonna make the best Hausgiving dinner yet for our teammates and datemates.” 

Dex bumped Tango’s fist with a small smile. “Ayuh. We are gonna do that.” 

<hr>

Dex and Tango didn’t cook together every day. Sometimes they traded off, sometimes they were on roadies. Sometimes everyone just had plans. But they’d cooked together often enough over the past three months that they quickly fell into a comfortable rhythm, even with the more complicated menu for the holiday. 

When the TV turned on to the parade, that was a clear signal that it had hit 9 AM. They both stopped to wash their hands again because it meant other Hausmates were awake. Dex wasn’t at all surprised when Whiskey and Ford were the first two into the kitchen, briefly fitting themselves around Tango for hugs and kisses. Dex <em>was</em> surprised when the next person through the door was Nursey, who quickly enveloped him in a hug up against the counters. 

Dex allowed himself to melt into Nursey’s embrace. Until Nursey pulled away suddenly with a gasp.

“Chill!”

Dex furrowed his brow and followed Nursey’s gaze to see Ford spinning a tea towel to prepare to snap it. 

“Stop using affection to distract your boyfriend so that you can steal food and you won’t get snapped.” 

Dex widened his eyes and looked at Nursey in faux shock. “You were just using me to get to my food?! Cait! Come collect your boyfriend.”

Cait suddenly appeared and leaned in for a kiss on Dex’s cheek before linking arms with Nursey. “He’s my boyfriend now, huh?”

“Ayuh. I don’t have any boyfriends that would use me just to get to my food. So he must be yours.”

“Dex!” 

“Can’t be my boyfriend. I don’t have any boyfriends who would try to circumvent me when I’m on guard duty. Must be Chris’s boyfriend.” 

“C! Do you hear this?” 

Dex looked over Nursey and Cait’s shoulders to see Chowder walking out of the kitchen.

“Just because you’re still my boyfriend doesn’t mean you get any of the stuffed mushrooms. I get them because I’m a good boyfriend who stayed out of the kitchen.”

“C!”

Nursey and Cait followed him out of the kitchen and Ford started heading towards the door also, giving Tango’s hand one last squeeze. 

“You guys are so weird.”

Dex ignored Whiskey’s mumble. It was accurate, after all.

“How did he get the mushrooms if he didn’t come into the kitchen?”

“Goalie powers.” 

“Oh.” Tango nodded. “What do we need to do now?”

“Right.” Dex turned back towards the food so they could regroup. “The cranberry relish is pretty much ready.” 

He looked at it and then stirred a bit where Nursey had scooped out a bite. At least Nursey hadn’t used his finger directly in the food this time.

“I don’t want to start the stuff for the rigatoni until it’s close to when it will go in the oven so it doesn’t separate or get weird.”

“That makes sense. The dough still needs to rise, right? I think that can go in right after we pull the turkey, so it has some time to rest also. We should check the potatoes and sweet potatoes. Then,” he paused and looked around with a sigh. “Um, I guess then I can start on the gravy and we just need to prep the green bean casserole and the dressing.” 

“What if they eat all the appetizers and want more?”

Dex looked over at Tango slowly. “If they eat all the appetizers, they’ll have to wait until we serve the meal like the rest of us, Tony.” 

<hr>

The thing about cooking for Hausgiving is, there’s a lot of work, but there’s also down time because there’s a lot of waiting for things to cook. But it wasn’t safe to leave the kitchen, either. So, it was lucky that Dex and Tango enjoyed spending the wait time together. 

Once everything was prepped or made that could be before the turkey came out, they sat at the kitchen table and played cards while chatting. Tango had a lot of things he was interested in knowing, and sometimes Dex had answers. He was more than willing to explain the difference in strength qualities of types of wood (which ones were stronger on a horizontal force like for shelves versus which were stronger with a vertical force like for posts) or how the electrical components of a dryer work. 

A little after they heard the tv change from the parade to the dog show, Hops managed to lean around Ford and stick his head in the door, not actually entering the room but highly supervised.

“Hey, do you want me to turn it to the Vikings game, Dex? I know you like football.”

Dex looked up and raised an eyebrow. “Do I <em>look</em> like Johnson?”

“Who?” The question was in near perfect sync from both Tango and Hops.

He shook his head. It would be too difficult to explain the weird goalie that he’d only met briefly. “No. Leave it on the dogs. I think Nursey and Cait are watching and I want to see how the Newfs do in the working group.”

Hops smiled. “Ok!” Then he was gone. 

Dex decided to take the interruption as a chance to check the turkey temp. They were hoping for a 2 pm meal time, and the turkey would need to rest before carving. Plus there were still things that needed to bake, and not all at the same temp.

“Looks like it’s nearly at temp. The Pane Sciocco starts at 450, right? Is it ready to go in?”

“Yeah. Ok.” 

<hr>

The next couple of hours seemed to go by faster. Checking dishes, getting the oven to the right temp and changing what was cooking, making sure everything was ready to serve. Dex tried to go out and set the tables, but Ford and Cait blocked him in the kitchen and said it was taken care of, so he backed off with his hands up in surrender.

“Final headcount is sixteen.”

“It’s taken care of. Worry about your green beans.”

“Ayuh. Green beans. That’s me. Jolly Green Giant.”

Nursey’s voice was somewhat muffled by the intervening wall, but still audible. “Grumpy Ginger Giant!”

Dex rolled his eyes, but did go back to do another check on if the food was ready. They’d decided that it made more sense to use the kitchen table as a serving table rather than have people reach over each other to try to get food on the main table. 

Finally, Ford and Cait let them out of the kitchen and Dex double checked the dining room before calling everyone to eat. The table was…. It was beautiful. There was really no other way to describe it. Someone had managed to squeeze in one of the card tables on the side of the room with an extra four settings. Somehow, they had 16 place settings of the same dishes and cutlery so everything matched. There were small candles and flowers and stuff as centerpieces. 

He wasn’t sure what to say, but he was sure he should say something because Chowder was watching him with big eyes. “This is really nice. It’s perfect.” 

Chowder fist pumped and grinned while Whiskey and Bully quietly fist bumped behind him. 

“I’d like to say something before we get the food.” 

Dex turned at Tango’s words to see the rest of the group crowding into the room behind him. He shifted around so that people would have more space if they wanted to spread out.

“I think, Thanksgiving was built on lies and shitty stuff.” He paused and glanced at Ford and Nursey who both nodded slightly. “But Hausgiving. Hausgiving is different. It’s our own holiday and it’s built on team, family, friends. It really is built on sharing and trust. I hope we keep doing this.” He paused and smiled. “And I hope you all like my Nanna’s Pane Sciocco.” 

“Don’t call me stupid!” Lucky, one of the Spawn, piped up from a corner. 

“Hey! That’s my joke!”

Dex couldn’t help himself from joining in the rest with a quick laugh at Tango’s indignation of having his Italian joke used against him. He stood back and waited for everyone else to get their food before joining the end of the line.

It was a good team. A good family. He was lucky to have them. And next year’s Hausgiving was going to be in good hands.