Yes, I know the historical context of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” and have no problem with it as such, but I see why it could make people uncomfortable. Also, it’s an annoying song and I don’t like it, irrespective of its potential rapey implications.
Yes, okay, Mary probably did know, but "Mary, Did You Know?” is likely intended to deal rather with the extent to which a human mind could comprehend the scale of God’s plan. Theologically speaking, it’s pretty shaky, but what contemporary Christian song isn’t? Direct your actual hatred to Todd Agnew’s “Did You Know,” which is the same thing but about Jesus Himself, and therefore borderline Arian, fight me, Todd.
“Santa Baby” is about wanting to bang Santa, and I’m officially kinkshaming Eartha Kitt, among others.
You shouldn’t feel ashamed for thinking “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” is about the speaker’s mother cheating on their father with Santa because the song is altogether too cheeky in its concept and fails to make it clear that that’s not what’s going on.
Michael Buble will always be inferior to Frank Sinatra and, truthfully, mediocre on his own merits. I think it’s time we, as a nation, accepted that.
ANYWAY MERRY CHRISTMAS I LOVE YOU ALL I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A BEAUTIFUL DAY AND YOUR FAMILIES ARE BEING UNOBJECTIONABLE AT WORST AND AMAZING AT BEST
ALSO: I’VE BEEN COOKING SINCE TEN THIS MORNING AND IT IS NOW FOUR-THIRTY IN THE AFTERNOON
Suppertime: T-minus one hour thirty-one minutes
Roast: roasting
Raita: made
Simple syrup and lemon-lime juice: chilling
Whiskey: restive
Cherries: ominous
Rolls: rising
Table: set
Mirk: on a caffeine-high the likes of which haven’t been seen since the last time I tried to pull an all-nighter, I literally just sat down for the first time since breakfast
Mirkfamily status:
my dad keeps yelling at the TV because Cleveland is playing Golden State; my mom is displeased because he doesn’t actually like Golden State, he just hates Cleveland. Specifically, he hates Lebron James, and “I WON’T LISTEN TO YOU AIR YOUR PERSONAL VENDETTAS ON CHRISTMAS, ROSS”
We had an Eye of Sauron Yule Log video for present opening, which is just typical
we gave the dog a bed for Christmas and she thought it was a chewtoy, so we had to give her a chewtoy also. She was enthusiastic
my brother Got Me Good by giving me a (triple-wrapped) pile of books that turned out to be the entire Fifty Shades trilogy and over my shrieks of dismay brought out my real present: a fantasy book, a history book, and a murder mystery, none of which I’ve read before. Which is a mean feat!
I mean, he may be morally bankrupt and officially my Worst Sibling, but he’s really good at presents somehow.
someone stole my Viking brother’s present off his front porch in Minnesota, to my family’s undying fury. It was homemade cookies and hand-embroidered sofa cushions! It was obviously someone’s present! WTF, Delano residents.
my sister gave us the traditional gift of calendars. Mine is New Zealand-themed!
the process of Christmas-cooking has been thoroughly Snapchatted; mutuals should feel free to ask for my account to watch it and my other zany adventures ;0
I’m not in a cooking frenzy yet, but I’m in the planning stages of it, so: tentative holiday recipe brainstorming! Otherwise known as Oh God, Christmas
Christmas Dinner, main course:
Beef tenderloin with parm-herb stuffing, OR
Coq au riesling, OR,
Beef wellington, OR
A really freakin nice ham? There’s no way we’re affording prime rib this year, and my knowledge of impressive entrees is pretty limited
Sides:
Pretty much all of those would do well with rolls, like these ones maybe
And/or mashed potatoes
Broccoli?? Or green beans. Roasted, for a preference, but I have no idea how to cook vegetables because I’m a reprobate. Research!
If I don’t have the coq au riesling, I’ll need a soup. A bisque or a clear soup, I’d think. HMM.
Dessert:
Pie! Not cake b/c The Birthdays are in a bit more than a week!
Peanut butter/chocolate, OR
Cranberry
Christmas cookies as well! There should still be some left, and possibly I can make snickerdoodles or induce C to make them
Drinks:
Smoking bishop (Christmas Eve, unless we have a party)
Slow-cooker mulled wine and slow-cooker hot chocolate (if we do have a party)
or “Jingle Juice” for adults/soda for kids? (Check weather when we get a bit closer)
appropriate wines for actual Christmas dinner. (Make dad do this. Wtf is a wine pairing)
