#chronophobics

[chandr-a]

chronophobics said: oh gosh that’s so great !!! really happy for you :—)

thank you, golden. it means the world. frankly, i'm as happy as i'm scared at the moment! september is still far away but i have a lot on my mind because of it now. oh but i'm going to do my best and we will see *smile* 

thank you!

[lehtya]

Fluorite!

Fluorite: What have you been focused on lately?

Quite a few things. Formal stuff like my thesis and finals. Every week I'm going to have at least one exam. 

More pleasant things like going to my hometown for a few days or going to my best friend's hometown the next week. (It's not the best idea considering that as I said we're having an exam every week, but oh well)

On myself however it sounds. On my heart and mind, I'm trying to figure out a way to heal myself. The fact that I'm on the urge to cry almost every day now is becoming quite trying. I'm trying to make peace with myself and to cope with my feelings.

Thank you!!!< 3

[chandr-a]

(15) Personality description please :~)

Oh, this one is difficult. I’m not even sure if it’s possible. Inside, it feels like i’m still shaping myself. I’m still rough on the edges, unsure and unaware what exactly it is that i could call ‘me’. 

i suppose my personality is difficult. i try to be kind to others and sometimes it comes with such ease i cannot help but to wonder why i can’t be kind to myself. i except a lot from myself and whatever i do, it’s never good enough. it’s not that i want to be perfect, but i know i can be better. and sometimes when i fail to do so, i am horrible to myself. nonetheless, i’m a hopeful dreamer. i believe that everything is going to be alright eventually, everything will fall into its place and all the dark moments of my life were important, necessary even, for me to be happy in the end. i think my soul has a dark green colour, like the trees when you venture deep into the woods. i overthink everything and i always find something to be nervous/worried/scared about. i laugh a lot and i try to smile to strangers even though it’s terrifying. i easly get excited and scared, i stopped watching horror movies in middle school as i had horrifying nightmares and saw things in the dark thanks to my imagination. i bite my nails and i don’t even care if someone sees me doing it. i care about other people’s opinions too much. i cry everyday but often for lovely reasons. i like to make strange noises when i’m alone (or not). i’m addicted to coca-cola and i hate it. i feel the need to help others even when they don’t seem to want it. i don’t like my body but i try to change it. i love life and i’m scared of death. i think everything happens for a reason and there is no such thing as a coincidence. i get easly distracted and forget what i was going to do/say. i also talk/write far too much (so sorry about that). oh and i say ‘sorry’ a lot. i think i’m going to end it here because i cannot seem to be able to stop writting, sorry. 

thank you for writting, golden! 

[chandr-a]

happy birthday, and much love and good spirit your way lovely!

oh, this is too much, i don't deserve such kidness! thank you, thank you golden dearst. tomorrow will be even more special with such beautiful wishes on my mind.

[cold-winter-days]

chronophobics replied to your post: How do I buy Christmas presents for everyone when...

make some!! :)

ohhh you're right!!! I haven't even thought of that, until now. (Thank you :)  )

[isque]

I love your blog so much u__u do you have any blogs you follow that are similar to yours?

Oh thank you, that’s real lovely of you! ^__^ I’m not really sure who’s blogs are similar to mine so I will just tell you some I like a lot and reblog from! Avijpeg, Floriate, Forestling, Cellobones, Chronophobics, sssadfriends, Palegravity, Chalkpetal and Flutterfaerie

I hope that is okay! Let me know if you would like any more angel :-) x x x x

[chandr-a]

How did the concert go? And how are Mumford and sons live?

Oh, it was remarkable. The memories are still so fresh… it’s hard to express what I felt in words. I got the chance to hear Mumford and Sons live in the summer at the festival but, as they said themselves, it was their show this time. And they didn’t waste any second of it.

I love to look at their face expressions when they perform. They look so pure. No lies hidden in the wrinkles on their faces, only truth, only their feelings. It was beautiful. I enjoyed jumping with the crowd through the faster songs but what I found the most enchanting were ballads. My beloved ‘White Blank Page’, ‘Broken Crown’ that hides such a beautiful story inside for those that really look for it… For once I’m speechless. 

And you were right - you are never alone at the concert. The second I stepped into the club a girl came up to me and asked if I was here alone. When I confirmed, she told me that it’s her birthday and she came all the way to Warsaw from a small city and she doesn’t know anyone. She asked me to accompany her during the whole concert and, of course, I agreed. She was so kind. Being much taller than me she helped me get my way through the crowd and find a place where I could see everything clearly. I remember her crying. I remember an envelope that was passed from one person to another with a paper moustaches that people were supposed to wear during the first song (I didn’t do it but I kept the moustache so I could stick it on my notebook later on). I remember Winston trying to speak Polish. And Mumfrod’s smile that always takes my breath away. And how touched Ben was when someone in the crowd gave him a book (I don’t know what kind of book it was. though). Oh and how Ted interacted with us and laughed all the time. I don’t know what else to say, really. I had a great time. I sang all the songs along with them and felt free, conected. I hope I will never forget it. 

[chandr-a]

chronophobics replied to your post: Sigh, I’m really anxious about tomorrow. I should...

You know what’s great about music? It connects people. I always thought how beautiful it is when all the people under the stage are connected through the love they share for the band performing. You are never alone at a concert, really.

Your message is very soothing and I truly believe in your words. I suppose the first time is always scary... Especially for somebody like me. Oh but perhaps when I finally be there tomorrow this unreasonable fear will disappear.