#citytalk

[arumpunya]

young forever: how far we have come

august 13 2018

for the most part ,, i feel deeply connected to bts because i can relate to their struggles in the past .. i didnt have much either growing up .. all i am now ,, all i have now ,, everything came from much hardships and struggles ..

i was never the top student .. hardly ever showed any talents .. i was a shy scared little girl with no confidence whatsoever .. i was the quiet passive one in the group ,, and maybe thats why i got bullied a lot .. for appearing as a slow kid ,, i guess because i never said anything people thought id get fooled very easily .. because i am so slow and wouldnt notice anything .. but i did .. and it taught me a lot ..

i didnt understand then ,, but i do now .. that we shouldnt judge someone just based on what we think we see .. when i was being cheated on every game ,, i saw everything .. i didnt say anything and just let people think whatever they like ..

i observe then make my assessment .. it became a habit until now that i know immediately which kind of people i have to keep close and which i have to stay away from .. without confronting them ,, i just keep my distance ..

this is the reason i only have a small number of people believing in me .. i never showed my wildcards to just anyone .. i never seek attention ,, i stay away from the spotlight .. im just a little chameleon going along with the current .. invisible ..

i am my biggest motivator .. i told myself every day to never stop trying ,, never stop dreaming ,, never stop believing … that one day all of these would be paid off .. one day people would start to notice what i do .. one day id make myself and everyone proud of what i can do ..  

each and every hardship struggles failures and roadblocks became another motivation to success .. growing up i heard more discouragements than encouragements from many people around me .. but i always told myself to prove them wrong later .. when the time comes i will prove them wrong .. when the time comes they will see me strive ..

all i have right now i can only dream of as a little girl .. i have come so far but the fight is not over .. i will never forget where i came from but i will continue to grow taller .. reaching higher goals .. keeping the leap of faith .. that if we believe in something ,, anything is possible ..

learning bts history and where they came from reminds me of my own journey .. and i believe everyone is the same .. we all have those fight within ourselves ,, when we want to reach a dream but not even knowing how ,, yet all the people around us keep belittling us .. bts taught us to never give up .. even when people are throwing shits at them ,, they keep doing them ..

just do what you do .. all the haters are gonna hate no matter what you do .. so keep doing you ..

epiphany

[penthepoet]

you’re not a system though right?

I am a system lol

it’s just that I don’t often talk about it on main ‘cause folks get weird about it

[penthepoet]

okay in hindsight i do think it was kinda funny that one of my system members sat by and just let me spray myself in the face with water by accident during bookbinding class yesterday

[penthepoet]

good GODS I WAS SO SCAREDDDDDD TO TALK ABOUT MY SYSTEM HERE BUT FIGURED IT WAS TIME TO COME CLEAN ABOUT IT

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR BEING GOOD SPORTS ABOUT IT

PEN/REGENT

[penthepoet]

🌱☘⭐

It Regent Me! I have many forms, but this is the main one that I tend to take on in-system just because it feels so comfortable and warm. It's like a fluffy blanket.

what do you use to keep track of system members?

We have a private Discord to keep track of system members! The City is full of folks, so nowadays it's hella hard to keep track of, but I try my best anyway just in case!

how did you find out you were plural?

I'd rather not share publicly, other than that I essentially tried to suppress it for years and did so successfully for years up until I met other plurals. One of my friends was the one to point out that I was essentially a system host in denial, and they finally got me to realize that I was plural, and had been for a long while.

[penthepoet]

👾 and 🌟 for the ask meme?

collective name/pronouns?

The City of Dead Leaves. There's a few main members that front the most often that are known as The Royal Court of Dead Leaves, specifically. The City goes by many names, but that's the main one. Most of the time, just address individual members whenever possible, especially because I (Pen) am mainly the one in front for 90% of the time. If you're referring to us collectively, the term you use is Cityfolk, the City of Dead Leaves or just "Dead Leaves", example: "Yeah, look at those Cityfolk of Dead Leaves just vibing". / "Dead Leaves are cool as fuck"

I (Pen) also go by other names in the system, but many of them are generally more private names I share with people closer to me. You'll hear some folks refer to me as Regent, tho, so that's the name I'll be using here for system stuff!

[penthepoet]

🛋 🧿

We don’t have a designated fronting space, but we can tell you what the systemspace looks like!

🎨 wanted to answer this one.

It appears as a towering city of divergent and clashing architectures that somehow blend together. Somehow, the original architecture that was there before has bloomed into involving architecture from other worlds and sources - Amaurot, Zanarkand, Town-on-Gorkhon, all sorts of places the likes of which even the finest painter such as myself could not dream of.

The sky glitters with strange auroras and stars each day and evening, with the sky painted blue and black in the evenings. It is truly the loveliest place to behold and I am honored to live here alongside my beautiful Dunmer husband.