How to have a Troutful state of mind
To maintain a healthy and Troutful mindset, you must regularity scour your cerebellum with salt and steel wool. After cleaning your thoughts, it is important to stand at the edge of your local reservoir and scream in the key of F# for forty five seconds. When this cleansing activity has been completed, wear your choice of controversial symbol, preferably the confederate flag. Stand in the middle of your driveway and reenact the War of independence while using a bent spatula to shave your right ankle. Sleep for the next three months with a dried ferret above your bed, and your mind will set itself down the path of Troutful Purity. To retain Troutful purity, bathe in a river or lake alone with the Uzbeckestanian flag wrapped around your waist on All Hallows' Eve every year.
