I think I'm in love with my best friend. (Codename: Yellow) I had considered the possibility before but decided I wasn't. I had a crush on them for a bit, but it faded. I think the catylist for my change of heart was them getting into a stable relationship with someone they actually like. Also, weve hung out so much the last year and theyve grown as a person in that time, wich I think also has something to do with it.
They have had parnters in the past but they either felt no real attraction to them or faught all the time. They got a girlfriend a few months ago and I felt so insaley bad and jealous for the first few weeks. I had also juat moved into my college dorm and was having some mental health issues. I got over all of it at some point and now I'm glad that theyre happy and I'm friends with their girlfriend kind of. But I still feel exceptional amounts of affection towards them and I want to touch them (this is very out of the ordinary for me. Being touched usually makes me really uncomfertable and overwhelmed) and be around them constantly. It's more than that obviously, but those are the eisily recognized symptoms.
I've never been in love before. I've never dated. I'm beyond a virgin. Ive never really interacted with another peraon in such a way that either of our actions could be considered flirty, romantic, or even outwardly affectionate. Exept for Yellow, kind of. We've been best friends for six years, and sometimes our interactions could be conatrued as flirty. They jokingly refer to me as their husband, they play with my hair, they say im cute. I dont know if they outright like me though.
They are in an open relationship also I belive. Their girlfriend often hooks up with dudes from dating sites. This is good and bad because it always leave the possibility of getting with them openish wich is very confusing.
The other option is that I'm not in love them. Im just lonely and have recently been giving the ability to feel romantic attraction. (Sidenote: in this area, I have always been a late bloomer. I didn't have any kind of concept of romance until I was like 16 or so. I never had any childhood crushes and I didnt really underwtand the concept. Ive had a few very mild crushes In the past few years, but I didnt really desire a relationship. Now I do, kind of and my feelings of romabtic attractions are as strong as they've ever been. Before Yellow, I had the biggest cruah ive ever had in my life, on one of their friends [Codname: CJ {cocaine jesus}].) So I think that maybe, as they are my best friend and the person I like the most, I am just projecting my touch starvation, horniness, and loneliness onto them.
Who knows. Who cares. This will probably resolve itself the next time we get really drunk together.
