Anon Advice Asks - May 3rd
clandestine anon (new), phone anon (new), chesh anon, guess anon, ouroboros anon
clandestine anon
Hi Cas! I’d say I’m new here but really I’ve been borderline obsessed (in a good way) with your blog for about 6 months. But I’ve never asked anything yet… I’ve read your boundaries for asks and am pretty sure this follows them so I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfortable, but I really don’t have anyone to talk to about this and you seem really nice. Anyway, I’m under 18 and live with homophobic/transphobic parents. I’m a BOY and I’ve known that for a few months now (internalized transphobia kind of held that back a bit, though). But no way can I tell my parents. They only allow my hair to be shoulder length or longer and will teach me how to be a ‘good wife and mother’ but the thought of being a wife or mother makes me sick. They sometimes make me (and I mean literally force me to) wear dresses. I’ve gotten away with wearing some boys t-shirts but that’s mostly because they’re more ‘modest’ I guess. I’m not physically abused in any way but I’m coming to realize I’m being emotionally abused about every day. I know it sounds kind of stupid but the fic Clandestine that you wrote helped me a lot. Wow this got a little long (sorry) but really I was just wondering for any advice or something. I live in a very transphobic city so I don’t have pretty much anyone. I don’t mean to stress you out or make you uncomfortable but I just needed to get this out, preferably anonymous.
Hi <3
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this and I wish I could do something more to help, but I hope you know that you deserve to be accepted as you are and I am here to vent to anytime. I hope as you grow older, you're able to find people who love you for you, and places you feel comfortable in. I promise that as you that not everyone out there will be like your parents
Sending so much love, and please let me know if there's anything I can do! <3
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phone anon
Hi cas
So I hope I don't sound super privileged now but yesterday my phone broke. I am pretty mad about it because I only had it 2 years but the worst thing that I didn't save one of my favorite games and now I need to begin over.
and I had such a good alliance, I did write the leader before my phone broke how someone out of our alliance kicked me from something and now it seems as if I just leave so I wouldn't be caught liying🥲
I tried to find the alliance but I don't know on which server I was😭
Sorry for venting but I am just so frustrated with myself.
Thank you for reading
Hi!
No, I'd be frustrated too! That's a social outlet for you, and it's hard that you have no way to fix it. Accepting that lack of control isn't easy, and it's natural that you'd be upset and angry.
Plus from a logistics pov, it's SUCH a pain in the ass to replace a phone and set up a new one.
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chesh anon
Hey, chesh again, sorry, i just felt like i was falling apart and there was no one i could talk to.
I don't know what to do. I'm losing someone, and i'm scared they don't care, im afraid ive fucked it all up. I just feel so lonely, all the time, i never say a word and i feel like no one wants to talk to me. Because im never the person ppl want, and that's not on them, but gods it hurts, everything hurts. If i talk i hurt ppl, and maybe they're better off without me. I've just never felt this lonely. i don't even want to go into school, it's not anyones fault but mine. My mom says my expectations are far too high. I don't know i don't know. I feel like i gave my all for so little in return. And maybe i'm the problem i seem to be in everyone else's head but my own, i know i feel things more deeply. I just want them to text me. I just want them to hug me. I just want to talk to them without feeling like i'm doing everything wrong. Like i'm never the person they want to be with. I wish i didn't have the word "paranoid" going round my head, telling me i cant talk to anyone because thats what i am, paranoid maybe its all my head. I think im the problem. I don't know what to do, maybe ive ruined it all. Because they haven't brung it up, so maybe theres nothing wrong i just feel isolated and alone and i just want to be fixed. I just want to be good enough that ppl will be there for me. But im all messed up like the pieces of a jigsaw that never fit together
And (redacted), how do you tell someone that after all that work its going back like a landslide?
Thank you,
Chesh x
Hi <3 as far as the first part of your ask, I don't think it's unfair to want to be someone's first choice. It's unbelievably lonely to feel like nobody prioritizes you, especially since like...you can't force that. But I think you ARE allowed to ask for reassurance. You're allowed to ask people to remind you they care. If they get mad, then they're not very good friends! You deserve reminders that you are loved, because you ARE.
And the second part...you tell someone you need help, because it's a very brave thing to do, and anyone who really cares will be SO proud of you for doing that. Its not bad or weak to need help. It's not bad, or a loss. Asking for help is a WIN, because you're working hard to stay healthy, and recognize what you need <3 And the people who are proud of you for doing that are the people who you should stick to.
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guess anon
HI CAS!! it's guess anon - not sure if u remember me cause i havent said anything in a while
Today i had my trial shift for a job at a cafe - its the first place that actually gqbe me an interview. Theu told me they arent quite sure that i wss suited for the original role bht invuted me for front of house trial. And it went SO WELL!! I should hopefully hear back by Tuesday.
Also, i wrote a song last week! Hahah there is so many uodqtes, we'd be here all week if i were to type them out.
Hi! That's so exciting about the front of house job! You have to keep me updated, I want to know if you get it! And I'm so jealous you can write songs, I tried once but I'm horrible at it. I'm glad things are going well for you!
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ouroboros anon
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