Deku DEEZ Nuts! | COMMISSION
GREETINGS PEOPLE OF TODAY AND ROBOTS OF TOMORROW!
IT IS I, CLARK!
Sit down for this one folks, there's a lot of context here. Last year while scouting for new Christmas decorations, I pointed out this awesome framed photo of Aang and Appa from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Anybody who knows me will tell you how much that series (and the franchise as a whole) means to me. Just this year I peer-pressured Hannah into actually watching it for the first time. That was earlier this year and she still hasn't finished Season 2. Jee, it took Aang less time to end the war. Ignoring that, the point of pointing that picture out was a 'subtle' suggestion for a Christmas gift. Cut to the big day and there happens to be a package roughly the same size. Hoo boy! Aang and Appa are gonna look so cool hanging on my wall! Wait a minute, why does Aang look like an elf? For that matter, why does he have a sword and shield?
Yeah, turns out the aforementioned family member confused my suggestion and had instead grabbed the Legend of Zelda picture next to it. Something that still confuses me to this day since this relative and I sat down to watch both ATLA and Legend of Korra in full and never once have we discussed the magical misadventures of Princess Link. As anybody who knows me will also tell you video games are not my forte. Some folks were raised on a Gamecube or PlayStation. My babysitter was the VCR. Whatever you have to say about Spirit of Mickey or Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet the Wolf Man, at least neither came with lag or wonky controls. Naturally the family member was embarrassed when all of this was pointed out and the plan was to return the wooden poster sometime later. Time moved on and we both forgot about it, resulting in the window to return said item closing. From there the options were:
a) Ask my friends if they'd like a poster of various Links from across the franchise
b) Ask them to send me a Zelda game for my Nintendo 64 (thank you, Hobo) to justify owning this thing
Option A was quickly shot down since none of the friends in my contact list needed the poster. So I pivoted to asking them to find me Ocarina of Time, the only Zelda game made for Nintendo 64. At least the only one that doesn't intimidate the shit out'a me. Call me crazy all you want, but Majora's Mask is NOT made for beginners. Eventually Hobo pulled through once more by finding a copy and mailing my way. Yet another game in the long list of ones I've yet to beat. Still, at least this one was started. For some reason the screen is really dark even when adjusting the brightness settings on my TV. Those out there who know how to fix this please leave their thoughts in the comments. Otherwise the game was fairly easy. Nintendo 64 controls require an adjustment period and the lack of a jump button annoys me. Having control over when the character jumps is a personal preference. Still, the sword is a ton of fun to use! Unlike the slingshot, which is a bitch to aim. Which brings us to Queen Gohma, the crab-like boss waiting within the Deku Tree.
By now I managed to get pretty far without dying. Gohma changed that. Luckily the death count was only 1 since cheesing boss fights is my specialty. Still, the slingshot aiming and dim lighting did NOT help matters. Heck, why is the slingshot inverted? Inverted controls suck and those who use them are dead to me! Putting aside all that, I was providing notes about my play-through on my Discord server for my friends to enjoy. All of them got a kick about reading about my shouting, "SUCK DEEZ DEKU NUTS!"
Including @burningthrucelluloid, who turned around and paid for a sketch commission of this. For the record, drawing Gohma was the biggest challenge. Nintendo's official renderings of this character range from the murky 3D model from the original game or overly-detailed (yet unquestionably amazing) drawings from tie-in material. Not helped by the fact that apparently this big bitch has appeared in at least one other title since then. So please forgive any inaccuracies on this one. At least the rest came out better than expected. Now if only I could find where the second freak'n boss is! How do I read this map? Who do I play Zelda's lullaby to? Why is Zelda's babysitter so freak'n hot? And why would Alec threaten to pay for another one of these once I reach the second boss? Good grief, all this before even reaching the water temple...
MAY THE GLASSES BE WITH YOU!
BONUS QUESTION: What was your first Legend of Zelda game?