During Testimonials on Sunday, there were a few small group dynamics I noticed. The people who usually talk the most spoke first. People also seemed to talk about identities that were more collective, such as race, gender, and religion, instead of choosing to talk about identities they hold that are more personal, such as disability or sexuality. I think that is probably because those are often identities are often ones that people are uncomfortable talking about, and I understand that.
I experience so much privilege with my agent identity, my SES. Because of my financial background, I have had access to a lot without having to worry about the price, from mundane things like tutors to more enriching experiences like traveling abroad for weeks at a time. I pay for most things on my own, but I always know that if I need money, my parents will send it to me. There are a lot of ways I experience lack of privilege with my marginalized identity of being a woman on a daily basis. I am scared walking home alone in the dark, scared to walk alone from my car in a mall parking lot, and feeling ashamed when I’m on my period. I often feel that if I dress a certain way when I go to class, people will think that I’m not hardworking or smart or insert another negative adjective. Because of our society, I catch myself thinking prejudiced or misogynistic things about other women, and feeling guilty because of it, but that could also tie into my agent identities.
Privileged identities that I had in common with people were being White. Honestly, I can’t remember any other agent identity that was talked about besides being a man. I think a lot about the privilege I hold as a White person, and consequently how I occupy spaces as a White person, especially because I went to a predominately Black high school where the only students were Black or White. UM, while lacking diversity, is way more ethnically and racially diverse than my high school, and I have learned so much from other people since starting here as a freshman. Other marginalized identities I had in common with people are being atheist, although I hadn’t thought about it being a marginalized identity until Sunday. I was raised a Christian, going to church for much of middle school and high school, but didn’t see it as anything other than a nuisance that prevented me from sleeping in on the weekends. I never have experienced discrimination because of it but could relate when someone mentioned feeling like I couldn’t express that I didn’t believe in a god for fear of making others feel like I invalidated their beliefs, which is not the case. Hearing the testimonials of people with shared identities allowed me to reflect on my own.
Storytelling is a great tool to deepen relationships because through it, you can show vulnerability and relatability. I think sharing your own story with your residents is something that can make a huge difference in your hall. Residents, especially first years, initially see their RA as someone who has their life completely together, and who is meant to be the “fun police” for the hall (or at least that’s what I like to call it). However, storytelling can show your residents that you are human just like them and allows you to show that everyone has gone through crap to get to where they are today. It shows that you can be someone they can relate to and being vulnerable in that space will likely make them more comfortable to open up to you in the future.
I don’t have any questions for the past what was already asked. Overall, this experience was rewarding and cool to experience, but something that was honestly emotionally draining. However, I learned so much about my own identities by reflecting on what others said, so I am grateful to have done it.
