#clearing thoughts

[env0writes]

Am i marching towards what i want Acceptance of boundaries crossed Fearful of silencing sentence enders Am i marching into complacency In the same way i once did Backwards into hell Orpheus, oh, fool– look back, look back Upon the path you have tread to reach this point The shadows were in the foreground Prophecizing in soliloquies ignored How much ground shall i idly yield to an idol When did i place you there? So lofty above Adored, and yet– even the divine broker arrangements Flowers pressed have more in common And yet, Euridyce, is rid of all I see In pursuit of my own passions, yielded

So where, what circle do i march towards? For what do i burn, yearn, and turn away from, for? The delights that delight in me in word, and deed yet Is it for me– or for me? I have read much of great love and yet Experience is a cruel governess to chide me so Cruelty is found in many forms, and indifference Is such a boring blade to bleed from Hell is full of fools – Is that why I must open my window Frightful of humidities smother Oh, brother– where art thou? You set such a divine example and vanished Like lightning you flashed – and dashed

Spring has sprung from my step Jovial nay jestorial i am the fool to think Love is a game best played jaded Jagged with jowls and howls in the night Biting and tearing save the one whom once torn i find i am falling up Just as worried as ones descent Should the rocks and waves below shatter me So the sun above burn me Is nowhere truly safe? Save love’s embrace Where daggers most patiently wait behind pursed lips Such ides, eyeing march onward

What greater role in stagery than the fool? Absent of the melodrama heights and lows Yet er’ present to the humilities and ‘ations i look back and it all seems to appear Yet stories tell me it should vanish It should be ripped from my hands All i feel is the blood from my palms And the stones in my belly Won’t some eagle come pluck this from me Spare me, pare me, and serve fare me Am i marching – with the soldiers Promised by Shakespeare in battalion after battalion Not to sleep nor slumber nor rest but to sorrow What awaits this springless march?

Idle Steps Vol. 2, 3.1.25 “Falsified Thoughts”

@env0writes C.Buck   Ko-Fi & Venmo: @Zenv0 Support Your Local Artists

[chunston]

When it comes to the ppl in your life, you don’t have to act a certain way. You don’t have to reserve parts of yourself or time. You don’t have to participate in certain activities or be present in specific situations. You existing is enough. That’s unconditional stuff that you want. You can be healthy or ill. Quiet or talkative. Nothing matters because they will love you through it all. They will adjust and accept whatever. We can be trashy to each other sometimes but the masks and stigmas don’t seem to do any good. Just stuff to hide behind. Goodnight

[themethereoncewas]

Writing from the source -Allison Price

6/7/2016

Reading this book….because I do want and need some change. I use tumblr to speak up. I use it as a way to ‘trying to put my figer on the problem’. I want…..I need to understand the real problem…so I can deal with it.

But most of the time I find it hard to write. Finding the right word….finding the words that accurately describe my feelings at that moment.

I was at the library and found a book that maybe could teach me a better way to put my word/feelings on paper.

In the book it says that people go to psychotherapist…..to talk.

Well…..I has been troubling my mind for so long now, that co-workers want make conversation with me. They are just not interested with me. And because I have to spend the biggest part of my week at work…..it would be nice if I could share my thoughts. Make small talk. Just have people to tell so things to…..anything.

I just ended up feeling so lonely in a room full of people.

And then I had to go to hospital. It had nothing to do with work.

Bit now….co-workerd want to talk to me….just to hear about my time in hospital and the year I recovered at home… And I don’t want to talk about that. They don’t really want to know. They just want to talk about it…because it give them something new to talk about…….till the new wears off….

….

…and then I will be all alone again.

I have accepted the change. My work is not my life. I have to do something I’m good at and love to do. But my house has to be my home. My job isn’t my home. People don’t have to talk to me. But I don’t want to feel pressured into a conversation that only triggers my into sad/horrible/painful feelings from the past.

So my current problem is….that I don’t know how to tell them this in a polite way.

“I don’t want to talk because it upsets me.”

It seems so easy to say…

Also it makes me feel weird that I would have to pay a therapist to talk. Just because co-workers don't want to chat with me. Sounds crazy when I write it like that. But I just lack of a friendly conversation on my work. I don't need a therapist for that.

[cravingsolitude]

Beautiful day

To honor oneself and to continue removing the clouds that block your true face.

[team-kaze-hunters]

Civilians...??

I’m asking others headcannons of non huntsmen teens, gonna need some brainstorm ideas.

if kids who has no talent/interest in being a hunter, they would go to normal school(like IRL of ours ?)?? , even they showed talent later wards, it will be hard for them to catch up (but they have other advantages to catch up?)

idk...if in special case other than transfer sturent can be allowed.....I’m doomed *u*

[borninconsolable]

I miss being me. I avoid me thinking, honestly there could be something better.

[thisuserislauren]

If I tell you I want to leave to take pictures, just let me. I'm upset and I need to clear my mind.

[kvuki]

But.. everything ends at some point might be true with this case.. I guess.. No matter how cruel it sounds.

Should I be more funny..? Or give people more gifts? I don't understand what I'm doing wrong..