I read about the library shooting in New Mexico right before I went to bed last night. I did not sleep well.
You see, I proctor a library computer lab for a living. Lots of angry white men with no social skills come into my lab every day. Most of them don’t even bother with the rest of the library, we are their first and only stop. They are surly. They don’t say please or thank you. They behave with incredible amounts of entitlement.
If one decided to come in with a weapon, the lab would still be their first stop. We have procedures in place if this should happen. It’s still terrifying to think of.
So although i was angry (libraries, schools, and houses of worship should be sacrosanct) and terrified, I still went to work. I still smiled and treated patrons with kindness and patience, because although it is emotional labor (which I consider to be the majority of what I’m compensated for), it’s important. I’ve had crappy days when someone’s been kind enough to smile and ask if they could help. Even if they couldn’t, it still made a difference. I don’t expect to change the world, just turn a sour mood around. Sometimes that’s enough. Sometimes it won’t be. All I can do is keep doing what I think is right.