Prompt/Summary: Aaron Hotchner’s sister moves in for the season.
Pairing(s): Spencer Reid x Hotchner!Reader, Aaron Hotchner x Sister!Reader
Requested? Nope
Spencer remembers the first time he heard your name. It was shouted angrily across the bullpen by Sean in an effort to defend his own actions.
“Don’t patronize me, Aaron. You didn’t act like this when Y/N dropped out of med school,” Sean argued from his place at the bottom of the shallow staircase.
Something in Hotch’s features shifted defensively, “That was different, and you know it.”
Sean rolled his eyes, and Hotch continued, “Look, all I’m saying is you're 25 years old, and it—“
“You know what? Don’t profile me, Aaron,” Sean interrupted, pointing accusingly at his older brother before turning on his heel and storming back through the glass doors.
The air became awkwardly tense as Hotch helplessly watched his brother leave. The bullpen emptied seconds later, and Spencer refocused his attention, vaguely taking in the information that there was yet another Hotchner who went to and then left medical school.
———
After that, Hotch mentioned your name as sporadically as any other members of his family.
“Y/N will be here for Christmas, and Jack is excited.”
“I have to mail my sister’s birthday gift or she’ll send me a woeful letter about being abandoned.”
“My sister sent us all food for working late.”
Spencer wasn’t one to pry, so he would always just nod along. Taking in her kindness and tidbits of information, eventually allowing letting it all to fall to the back of his mind. It was months before he heard your name again, when JJ questioned everyone’s weekend plans Wednesday morning as they waited for Hotch to come in and start the briefing.
“This one’s a doozy so, I hope it won’t interrupt your weekend plans,” JJ said as she passed out files around the table.
“I hope not, I just got a new couch and was hoping to break it in with a fine lady or two,” Morgan chimed in with a sly smirk on his face.
Emily grimaced, “Ugh, remind me never to sleep over.”
“C’mon, Em, you know you’re welcome anytime. The more the merrier,” he winked, sending light laughter through the table.
“Pass, I’ll be shopping this weekend — sample sales,” she smiled.
“Oh, count me in. Will’s on a stakeout so I’ve got all the time in the world,” JJ said excitedly.
“Girls day!” Penelope clapped her hands together, “I’ll get an itinerary together while you all are away,” she told them, already tapping on her phone.
“Spence, you wanna come? We’ll be near that new bookstore…” JJ offered before trailing off upon realizing his gaze was focused on the window where they could see Hotch speaking into the receiver of his cell with a smile on his face.
“Reid?” Rossi spoke up from his place, interest finally piqued.
“Yo, pretty boy?” Morgan prompted.
“Have you ever seen Hotch smile so much on the phone?” Spencer asked, ignoring their questioning.
“Only if he’s talking to Hailey,” JJ said.
Rossi nodded before adding his own guess, “Or Jack, maybe. He’s not doing that thing with his hands like when he talks to Hailey.” Eyebrows raised in his direction, “What? I’m good at my job.”
“Oh! Or maybe it’s—“ Peneople began before getting cutoff by Hotch’s catlike entrance at the back door.
“Let’s get started,” he spoke, slipping his cell into this breast pocket.
“Of course but first, any weekend plans sir?” Penelope asked innocently and Hotch blinked at her before taking his seat.
“Yes, my sister is moving to New York City and I’m helping so I’d like to be back by Friday,” he urged, eyes flicking to JJ’s still-standing form in front of the board.
“Right so, this unsub…”
———
Though you were nearby now, Spencer didn’t actually meet you for several years, after the team wrapped up the the terroist case in New York.
You rushed into the hospital while Aaron received his check-up the next morning after things had mostly settled. You woke up startled by your brother’s sudden call from an unknown number, and after living in anxiety with the shootings and bombings, you were happy to hear his voice. You barely dressed, throwing on a pair of wash day sweats and a Planet Hollywood hoodie you swiped from Sean, and whatever slip-ons were closest to the door.
You fussed over him when the nurse left, double-checking his temperature and making sure he wasn’t in too much pain.
“Y/N I’m fine,” Aaron argued, moving to stand but you pushed on his shoulders to keep him in place.
“Fine? Someone tried to blow you up Aar, that’s not fine,” you argued checking him over again, taking in all of the bandages and weary look in his eyes.
You were about to administer a concussion test when the curtain was unceremoniously pulled open by a wide-eyed young man with shoulder length brown hair. He looked between you both, confused.
“Ah, sorry, the nurse told me where you were. I didn’t know I wasn’t your first visitor,” he spoke to Hotch, eyes skating over your features momentarily as he tried to place you.
Hotch took the distraction as a chance to stand and begin to collect his belongings.
“Reid, this is my sister, Y/N. Y/N this is Dr. Spencer Reid, he’s a member of my team,” He spoke working his arms discreetly into his suit jacket.
Spencer gave you a small smile and wave as recognition crossed over his face and you were suddenly very self concious as you waved back. Your cheeks heated under his brown eyes, he was far too attractive to be meeting in a serious situation and dressed like some kind of escapee.
“Nice to meet you, Doctor. No handshake right? I’m assuming you’re here for pick up,” you glared at your bother.
Spencer’s face morphed briefly in surprise, eyes quickly darting between the pair. He has never heard someone talk to Hotch like that—except maybe Rossi and he certainly didn’t expect it from someone who looked as young as himself. Hotch stared back at you, and Spencer glanced at his watch before lightly clearing his throat. You looked at him a beat later, and he quickly thought that your eyes were achingly beautiful with a gaze so intense he had to look at his boss again to refocus.
“Yeah, we have a final debrief at 1PP before we can go,” he explained.
That was enough for Aaron to push past you, “Of course,” he nodded, “And Y/N, I’m fine and I really do need to go.”
After a moments hesitation, you caved, “Fine but listen to the Doctors, Dr. Reid included,” you threw a tiny smile in his direction, “And text the second you’re home.”
“I will.”
“Promise?” You held out your pinky and he didn’t hesitate to interlock his own with yours.
“Promise,” the finality in his tone settled your nerves a bit.
You all walked out of the hospital together. You pulled Aaron into the tightest hug you could and smiled at Spencer once more and gave one last wave.
“Nice meeting you, Dr. Reid. Get him back in one piece for me.”
“Promise,” Spencer found himself saying and a soft chuckle fell past your lips as Aaron looked at the younger man with a question in his eyes.
Spencer didn’t care as his eyes followed you all the way until you took a corner and disappeared. Even as you left his field of vision, he had a feeling he’d never forget you.
Request: Heyyy, so I don’t know if you even like Taylor Swift, but I NEED a smutty Spencer fic inspired by Guilty as Sin x So Highschool…I‘m talking build up and idk after a case the team all go to Rossi‘s house and the next thing they know is they‘re drunkenly playing spin the bottle…maybe Spence getting jealous or something? And once reader spins again and it lands on him he can’t hold back anymore, so they make the best of the time they have going at it like horny teenagers. She‘s been waiting for that since she first met him. Imagining how it would feel to finally touch him. @mariechristine00
Warnings: 18+ MDNI! Smut, Unprotected sex, dom!spencer, sub!reader, kinda emily x reader??? not really, spin the bottle, Fingering, teasing, jealousy, orgasm denial, creampie, rough sex, cockwarming
A/N: Sorry it took so long! I have had very bad writers block, i hope this is ok!
Four women had died before the team had arrived in Arkansas. All of them had been sex workers, murdered in the same fashion as Jack The Ripper's victims. It wasn’t uncommon for serial killers to replicate Jack the Ripper, but this Unsub had paid incredibly close attention to the habits of the original Jack, which should’ve made him easy to find, right? Predict his next move based on the timeline of the original crimes. Except- This unsub had adapted Jack the Rippers techniques to the modern day, even sending red herrings, making him harder to catch. After 8 days though, the team had finally done just that, leaving everyone to finally feel the full effect of exhaustion.
The jet journey back had been fairly quiet, you and Spencer had fallen asleep on the couch together, your head leaning against his shoulder, his head resting on top of yours. The team had shared a look after spotting the pair of you in such a position.
They had noticed shared glances between you both, how Reid would always bring you cups of coffee, how you’d bring enough lunch for two- knowing he wouldn’t eat if you didn’t. They’d heard all about your weekend hangouts, nights at the movies, dinners at each of your apartments. More often than not, you’d find both of you at one of your apartments, having stayed too late from a movie marathon, or even simply just wanting to stay in each other's company.
Any outsider who saw you both would think you were together, but you weren’t. Not like it want something either of you wanted, no it was quite the opposite. There were definite feelings between you both, and neither of you denied it. Both of you were just afraid to ruin what you had, so instead of facing them, you both lived in willful ignorance. Something the team were becoming exceedingly frustrated to watch, but neither of you would take their advice either. Leaving them stewing in frustration as the pair of you willfully ignored your feelings.
So, seeing you both sleeping on one another? Not as exciting as it used to be, but still made them happy to see.
Rossi is the one who woke the two of you up after the jet had landed. The rest of the team were gathering their things as the two of you stirred, sitting up straight at the sight of the older man before you, making him chuckle.
“Just wanted to let the pair of you know that we're having a dinner party at my house tomorrow night. 6pm Sharp, okay?” Spencer glanced over to you, whilst you rubbed your eyes, sleepily muttering an agreement. Following your lead, he smiled at Rossi, accepting the invitation on his own behalf.
Spencer helped you gather your things before guiding you out to his car, you often carpooled together and when you were at work the day of the case was no exception. You were still half asleep as he sat you down in the passenger seat of his beat up car, before sitting himself in the driver's seat.
“Can I stay at your house tonight, please?” You quietly asked, head leaning on the window, gazing at him through half lidded eyes “I feel bad for you driving all the way to my house, and doubling back to your apartment.”
The man driving smiled and muttered a small ‘Of course’, keeping his eyes on the nearly empty road. This wasn’t uncommon, ever since a mix up with hotel rooms a few months back, sleepovers had been added to your roster of ‘totally platonic’ activities you did together. Cuddling, sharing space, even beds, was now normal for you two. The rest of the team, if privy to this information, would point out how this was a manifestation of your feelings for each other; pushing the boundaries between friendship and romance, to try and fulfil your longing for each other subconsciously. Damn profilers.
The fact that this aspect of your relationship was secret from the team was also further proof that you both understood the implications. But you were just friends, right?
The car journey was quiet and quick, Spencer passed your go bag to you, mirroring you when he slung his own over his shoulder before grabbing your hand and leading you inside of his building.
Once inside, the pair of you set about your bedtime routines, changing in the same room, backs to each other. Brushing your teeth together, and slowly sliding into the warmth of Spencer’s Dark green covers. Small good nights are bid as Spencer pulls you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you, leg habitually landing over your him, effectively caging you as close to his chest as he could. Though, you were no different, lacing your arms around his middle, crossing your leg over his, if you could get any closer you could. It was just natural to the pair of you, being as close as possible to one another just made you both feel better, but you both would never mention that to anyone.
After a few minutes, when Spencer is sure you have fallen asleep, he places a small kiss to the crown of your head. Gently stroking the back of your head till he soon follows suit.
The next day, the two of you wake up entangled in each other's arms still. The mid morning light streamed through the curtains, gently rousing you both from your slumber.
Spencer lazily rubbed his fingers along your arm, up and down, until you finally roused fully. Sleepily smiling up at him, you hum as you bring your hand to meet his, intertwining your fingers together. Nudging yourself closer into his chest, he lets out a small chuckle.
“Morning, sleepy head.” He smiled as he squeezed your hand, he could hear a muffled “g'morning’” from you. Slowly, and hesitantly, he pulls his hand from yours, moving your head from his shoulder so he can look at you. He loved how you looked when you just woke up. Lips in a pout, eyes still half lidded, a slightly confused look on your face; he thought it was the cutest thing. As your eyes met his, his smile grew at the sight of your slightly messy hair. The hand holding your face slowly smoothes it down as he speaks.
“Do you want to shower and I'll go make breakfast?” He asked quietly, you nodded, still half asleep. Neither of you wanted to move yet, content in each other's arms. If you were lovers, it would be acceptable to say ‘no, I want to stay in bed with you’- But you are only best friends, nothing more. The realisation dawns on you both simultaneously as you both finally break from each other's hold. Though now feeling empty, you both move to perform your respective routines for the morning. It was around three that afternoon that you finally left Spencer’s house. After breakfast, the two of you had settled on his couch watching TV all morning, until you realised that you should probably go home to get ready for Rossi’s party tonight, Spencer offered to come to your house instead and sit with you as you got ready. He showered quickly, grabbing a change of clothes, before driving you both to your apartment around four.
Sitting with you was exactly what he did as you got ready, he sat in your room reading through your bookshelf as he waited, occasionally watching you as you put on your makeup and did your hair. When you were ready, he had changed as well, the pair of you dressed smart but not too fancy. Your idea, of course.
“I’m sorry but there is no way I was going to a Rossi party in a tight dress, I want to comfortably eat as much pasta as I want without feeling like I can’t move” Was what you had said.He laughed, and you both climbed into your car. You had worn a long summer dress, it flowed loosely around your frame, landing just below your knees. The dress was a a darker lilac, with dark purple flowers haphazardly splashed around the fabric. He had picked it for you when you had asked him to choose between two, unsure which you wanted to wear. Obviously, he chose his favourite colour. The thin straps accentuated the curve of your shoulders, he found his gaze landing on your neck for a moment too long before he reminded himself that you were just friends.
Pulling up to Rossi’s house, you parked the car. As you learnt into the back seat to grab your purse, he quickly hopped out of the car to open your door for you. He took your hand, closing the car door with the other. You smile at how much of a gentleman he is, intertwining your fingers with his before he has a chance to pull away. Hands staying intertwined the entirety of the walk into Rossi’s living room, breaking only to greet the rest of the team.
As the night flowed on, so did the wine. Dinner had been eaten, Spencer was amused at your gleeful motions as you reached for seconds, having your fill without worry. The team imbibed hard, bottles of Rossi’s expensive wine collection had been emptied before he had shooed the team away. Penelope, always the party animal, invited the team to continue the party at her place. Hotch was the only one who refused, wanting to get home to Jack. JJ and Will had agreed without hesitation, JJ’s mother being in town they had the whole night off, Emily followed suit of JJ, Derek agreeing without hesitation of course. The team glanced at you, Spencer and yourself sharing a look, silently communicating before you both agreed. Ordering a taxi to Penelope's house, you all piled into the minibus they sent.
One quick trip to the 24/7 liquor store around the corner, the team minus Rossi and Hoth were gathered in Penelope’s living room. Spencer sat behind you on the sofa whilst you sat on the floor, between his legs. The team were thoroughly drunk now, enjoying their time off as best they could. Derek, ever the party animal, finished his beer with a loud ‘Ahhh’, grabbing everyone's attention. He held the now empty bottle into the air with a triumphant grin.
“Do you know what time it is, ladies and gentleman?” He smirked, an evil glint in his eye as he scanned the room. Confusion painting the faces of everyone around you. “Spin the bottle!” He laughed, moving to sit on the floor in line with you. Penelope squealed in glee, clapping her hands as she moved from her position to sit across from Derek. JJ shrugged to Will, who chuckled and joined the rest of the team on the carpet. Emily sat beside you soon after, and Spencer, albeit reluctantly, slinked from his place on the sofa behind you to sit. Once the team had gathered, Derek explained the rules as he moved the bottle into the middle of the newly formed circle.
“Ok, we’ve all played before. You spin, and whoever it lands on you give them a big old kiss” He paused to wiggle his eyebrows at Penelope, who giggled at him “If it lands on yourself, spin again”
The man looked around, seeing the team ready, before starting the game. He gave the bottle a quick spin, and leant back as he watched the bottle spin. After a few moments, the bottle lands on JJ, who he respectfully pecs quickly on the corner of the mouth, like she was his grandmother, Obviously slightly disappointed to land on the one married woman in the circle.
“My turn?” JJ asked with a small slur, she held a glass of white wine in her hand carefully, leaning to spin the bottle. Landing on Emily, There is a small pause between them before they share a longer peck, Emily quickly moving on.
“Please, God, do not make me kiss Reid.” She joked, making the team laugh as she spun the bottle. Whilst the team watched the bottle spin, You nudged Spencer’s shoulder comfortingly. You knew Emily wasn't being mean, and so did he.
The bottle did, however, land on you. Raising your eyebrows in surprise, Emily clapped her hands
“That was close!” She laughed, JJ smirking and shaking her head amused. Penelope sighed
“I want a go” She pouted “I want a chance to kiss the one and only Derek Morgan.” She complained loudly. Everyone laughed at her fake tantrum, before Emily quickly moved in before you, softly grabbing the sides of your face, and bringing you in for a big closed mouthed kiss. It took you by surprise, and after a few seconds she pulled away, patting you on the shoulder.
“You’re welcome.” She deadpanned, making the rest of the team laugh once more. Still taken aback, you didn’t notice how Spencer had tensed up beside you after he saw your bewilderment from Emily’s short kiss. He watched silently as you leant forward to take your turn, eyes shooting up in surprise when he realised the bottle had landed on him.
A chorus of ‘OOO’s’ rang through the living room, Red painted both his face and yours as you turned to each other. He blinked slowly at you and, after a second, the wine he had been drinking flushed him with confidence, he softly grabbed the side of your face, kissing you deeply, tongue running lightly over your bottom lip before he pulled away.
Another chorus of cheers were heard from around you, the team celebrating seeing one of you finally make a move. Spencer smirked as he pulled away, seeing your shocked face from Emily’s kiss change. You were staring at him, pupils blown and doe eyed, panting lightly through parted lips, cheeks flushed. He didn’t have a moment to enjoy it, as a knock ripped through Penelope’s apartment. She jumped quickly, answering to find her elderly neighbour, complaining about the noise.
That was your cue to go. Spencer called a taxi for you both, you had already planned for him to stay the night. Both of you had shared a few bottles of wine between Rossi’s and Penelope’s, but that kiss seemed to have sober the two of you up. The taxi ride wasn’t awkward, more so quiet. Neither of you knew what to say after the kiss, just sharing the occasional joke about the night.
Walking up to your house, you opened the door silently. After you both take your shoes off, he takes your hand once more, leading you to your bedroom- Once more setting off into your night time routine. Once you are changed, you sit on the edge of your bed, busying yourself by putting on hand lotion, you hardly register that Spencer has finished in the bathroom until you feel the bed dip behind you. Without thinking much of it, you continue slowly rubbing your hands together when you feel Spencers hands grab your hips. A jolt of electricity shot up your spine before Spencer’s lips connected to your neck.
The surprise caused you to let out a gasp, your hand shooting up to hold his curls.
“S-Spencer?” You gasped the question as his grip tightened, continuing to kiss and nip at your exposed neck. It felt amazing, his lips against your skin, tender yet hungry. His desperation for you translated through every touch of his lips to flesh. Eventually, his lips assault reached your jawline, You heard him moan as you lightly tugged at his hair, an involuntary action after he lightly nipped at your earlobe, eliciting a low gasp of pleasure from you. One of his hands let your hip go, moving your head to face him. He stared at you with such hunger, such adoration, his eyes were full of so much love, but painted with a dark lust. His eyes flickered between your eyes and lips, he was just inches away. Both of you panted as you looked at one another, Spencer leaned in first, crashing his lips to yours. He kissed you with such fervour, it caught you off guard. Eventually, you melted into his kiss, moving from his grip to face him head on. His arms found their way around your waist, pulling you closer to him. Snaking your arms around his neck, he sighed into the kiss. After a moment he pulls away and begins to plaster kisses all over your face
“I don't…” he kisses your forehead “want you” he kisses your cheek “ Kissing anyone” He kisses your nose “But me.” He locks eyes with you for an intense moment before placing another kiss to your lips.
When he pulls away, he's still got one hand on your hip. You are both out of breath after his massacre of kisses.
“Tell me to stop and I will.” He meets your eyes, searching for any regret of what you just did. He finds none, but he needs to hear you tell him. He watches as you bite your swollen lip, he stops himself from letting out a small groan at the sight of you like this. Your face is flushed, hair messy, giving him that wide doe eyed look once more. He can’t help the rush of heat that travels through him at the sight of you, shifting himself in hopes you do not notice.
“Don’t stop…” You spoke quietly, and before you knew it, Spencer had you pinned on your back to the bed. His mouth was on yours, a feverish pace as he kissed you, hands now exploring every inch of you he could. He slotted himself between your legs as you opened them, wanting him closer. You had become a moaning mess at this point, muffled only by his lips on yours. He explored your mouth with his tongue, hand dipping to the hemline of your pyjama shorts. His fingers played with them for a moment before you pulled them down, along with your underwear. Spencer smirked at your action, looking down at you with dark eyes.
“You’re so eager…” He purrs, eyes moving slowly down to see you, his words suddenly make you self conscious. Making a move to close your legs the best you could with him between them, he quickly stopped you, prying your knees wide. He lets out a low moan as he looks down at the state of you, already wet for him. The way he looks at you makes you squirm, never had you seen someone so excited to see you, all of you. The look in his eyes was dark as one of his hands grazed slowly down your thigh. His eyes move to meet yours in question as his fingers inched closer and closer to your throbbing core. Nodding feverishly, he smirked once more.
“Use your words. Tell me what you want.” His voice was harsher than the Spencer you knew, his tone was authoritative, nothing like the timid man you knew.
“I want you, Spencer.” Was all you could whisper out, overwhelmed by how he was making you feel. Without any further hesitation, his lips caught yours in another fervent kiss. One hand held your cheek, whilst the other was making its way down between your legs.
Smirking at you squirm under him, his hand finally reaches its destination. Long fingers begin to explore your folds, occasionally bumping your clit as he gathers your slik. From his position over you, you can see how much he's enjoying this. How he knows he has power over you, the look on his face says it all. He’s almost observing you, brows furrowed as his eyes are glued to your face. He smirks at every pleasured moan, every twisted expression as you grind against his palm involuntarily.
“You like that?” He asks you, smugly. A long finger now teasing your entrance, you can’t help but whine in response. He lets a low chuckle out, finger dipping into you, only slightly. His grin widens when he hears the strangled moan, disrupted by disappointment.
“More…” You gasp, he has sat up straight now, one hand still teasing your entrance, whilst the other moves to hold down your hips.
“You want more? I’ll give you more.” He bites his bottom lip as he pushes his finger knuckle deep, he doesn’t let you adjust as he begins to fuck you steadily. Absent-mindedly, you grind down once more, only to be stopped by Spencer’s grip. “No, not yet, baby. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.” He cooed, sounding entirely unsympathetic as he slid another finger in.
This was a side of Spencer that you’d never thought to exist. The look in his eyes, the way he moved, the way he spoke to you- It was primal. The sweet, innocent nerdy bookworm was currently ruthlessly finger fucking you. You never thought a day like this would happen, but with the way he was making you feel, it was almost electric.
As he continued, he brought his other hand down to your clit, massaging small circles into the sensitive nub. Gasping his name, you can’t help but grind your hips against his hand, seeking any kind of relief you could.
“I-I’m so close-” You manage to choke out “Im gonna cum-”
Spencer quickly removed his fingers from their place inside of you, causing you to let out a frustrated cry “No! Sp-encer… WHy” You pant, it was embarrassing how needy your best friend had managed to make you. As you slowly managed to recollect yourself, you managed to meet his gaze. A smirk was still present as he brought his fingers to his mouth, popping them into his mouth. Biting back a whimper, you watch him suck your slick clean from his fingers, his eyes never leaving yours.
You couldn't help but watch him, lips a part, eyes doe like, a dumbfounded expression that he loved. The same expression you gave him after he kissed you. Letting out a low groan, he began to remove his sweatpants, keeping his eyes trained to yours as you watched him release himself.
He made quick work of aligning himself with your aching entrance, looking up to give you one last mischievous smirk before leaning in to whisper to your ear
“When I do this, you're gonna promise to be just mine?” His breath is hot against your skin, you eagerly agree. HHe stays leaning over you as he slides in, slowly. A groan is muffled in your shoulder as he bottoms out, staying still for a moment. You can't help but dig your nails into his back, the way he felt filling you up was just too good.
Without warning, Spencer began to move, sluggish at first, but he quickly began to gain speed. A loud moan escaped you as he sped up, lewd sounds filling the room as he began to fuck you relentlessly.
“Spencer!” YOu cry, he leans up, pulling you down the bed by your hips, he pulls your legs around his shoulders as he finds a new purchase. The new position makes him hit your core in a way you’ve never experienced. “Dont stop”
He doesn't reply,distracted by the feeling of your pussy around him. A tight knot began to wind in your stomach, once more threatening to snap.
“I'm gonna cum, please can i cum?” You begged through tears of pleasure. Spencer let out a malicious laugh, loving the mess you had become. He didn’t reply, simply speeding up his hips, answering your question. All you could do was grab the bedsheets as he brought you to your climax, a loud groan filling the space as he continued to fuck you, cooing praises as he rides you through it.
As your orgasm winds down, you feel his hips begin to stutter irregularly. He grunts with effort, hair sweatily covering his face. “Where can i cum, baby?” He gasps, hips tense as he tries to hold on. Involuntarily, the sight of him now struggling turned you on, making you clench around him. A loud gasp interrupts him “Fuck, let me cum inside, please?” He begs
“Yes!” You moan, without a second thought, you felt the man release, filling you up completely. He lets a loud strangled groan as he bottoms himself out once more, collapsing on top of your body.
There is a moment of silence as you both lie there. It seems to dawn on you that you have just been fucked by your bestfriend, making you panic momentarily. The panic subsides when you notice the tickle of his fingers on your bare side, tracing small patterns as he nuzzles closer into your neck. Bringing a hand up to play with his hair, you let yourself melt into his touch. His weight on top of you was a comfort, his warmth radiated from his skin to yours, and all you could do was feel safe.
After a moment, your clarity comes back. Curiosity takes over, you weren’t complaining about what had happened between you both, in fact, you wanted this for years. But why now?
“Baby?” You hum out, testing the waters of your new predicament. Though, it seems silly to be hesitant in a pet name when he was still currently inside of you. His head perks up nonetheless, the usual sweet and smiley Spencer seemingly coming back as he gives you a soft smil;e at the nickname.
“Yes, baby?” He hummed back, a dopey smile on his face as he emphasised the pet name, Making your heart flutter.
“Not that i'm complaining about this… but what brought this on?” You asked, quaking a brow in question. A blush creeps across Spencer’s face, shifting slightly in his place on top of you.
“I… Well. I was jealous…” He mutters, now exceedingly shy compared to the side of him he has just shown you. The surprise made your brows shoot up, giving him a questioning look, spurring him to continue “When Emily kissed you… I just got jealous, the look on your face… I’d never seen it before. I didn’t want anyone else to look at you like that, but after your turn…” He trailed off, eyes trailing your naked body underneath him. The sight of you seemed to re awaken his dominant side as he caught sight of where you were both still connected. He lets a huff of a laugh out as he drags his hips out slowly, before slamming himself back into you, happy at the moan he managed to take from you. That cocky grin found his lips once more as he continued his motions, slowly dragging his hips out and slamming himself back in, all the way to the base.
He didn’t need to say anything else, as soon you were both too preoccupied in the feeling of one another once more.
When the two of you return to the office together on Monday, Hand in hand, Spencer still in the same suit the team had seen him in Friday, the team all but threw a parade. Derek dejectedly passed Emily a twenty as they watched the man, not so secretly, kiss you in the kitchenette.
hotch doesn't really like when fellow members of the team calls him by his first name. for you, however, maybe he can make an exception.
traumatized!hotch core, mentions of stabbing and TW: foyet 😔. The team investigates a case that reminds hotch of f*yet, he is not well and reader sees right through him. bau!reader, hurt/comfort/fluff that turns into something a lil more towards the end slightly bc it’s hotch so i can’t help myself .
hotch preferred when everyone called him by his last name. he never explicitly said it, but it was an unspoken rule of sorts. whether it was hotchner, hotch, or even whatever nickname penelope often came up with, he didn’t mind. as long as it wasn’t aaron.
'aaron' felt too personal to use with his co-workers. too intimate. as much as you guys were like a family, hearing aaron come out of spencer’s mouth would be as strange as a quiet crime scene.
and hell, was this crime scene hectic. the aftermath of a negotiation involving drawn weapons was always hazy— body overfilled with adrenaline and running on approximately three hours of sleep. all the law enforcement agents you could think of was present, interviewing people, collecting samples. all the lights and voices didn't help with the anxiety. but this scenario in particular had everyone scrambling to collect their thoughts.
hotch, especially. the mo of the unsub was eerily similar to that of foyet— the intricate stabbing that ensured the victim suffered long and hard but was still conscious enough to feel every inch of the next stab. the whole team was aware of the elephant stealing all the oxygen in the room, but no one really knew what to say or do given hotch’s constant stern affirmation that he was fine.
and so the whole team walked into the local police department in silence, hotch leading as the rest of you trailed behind. tired of the crickets practically sounding, you cleared your throat and exclaimed,
“so, does anyone want to get some food? i saw an authentic taco sta-“
your words trailed off as your eyes followed the figure in front of you, who was walking away haggardly towards the washrooms. you turned back towards your teammates, all of them shrugging and letting out a sigh. eventually, they all walked away with a promise to fulfill your hungry request and disappeared to their work stations.
you stood outside the bathrooms for at least five minutes, taking a step forward, then back. forward, then back. finally, you shook your head quickly, straightened your shoulders, and pushed the door into the room.
"h-hey! this is the men's-"
you didn't bother to acknowledge the young police officer by the urinal who was frantically pulling up his pants. you simply lifted an extended arm and nodded to silence him. you walked to the front of the stall where you spotted hotch's perfectly polished shoes, and stopped. once the guy left, you knocked on the door.
“hotch? i know you’re in there.”
silence. you began tapping your foot and crossed your arms, blowing out a rush of air. exasperated, you repeated again, “hotchner. open up. please.”
a click enabled you to release a breath of relief, the door opening to reveal hotch sitting on the closed toilet, head looking down with his hands crossed in between his legs.
“listen… i know you said you’re fine and that you're good to keep going, but we both know that’s bullshit. we know you. too well, even. we can tell that you're struggling, whether you like it or not. it’s obvious this case has brought up…”
your voice progressively got more silent as you noticed the response you got. silence. it wasn’t until you stopped talking did you realize his rapidly rising shoulders for each breath he took, and the way he fidgeted with his hands to hide the shaking. you immediately knelt down to his level, putting both hands on his shoulder.
“hotch? hey-“
“i'm sorry,” he mumbled.
“what?”
“i’ve been dismissive the whole day. i want to say it’s simply because i didn’t sleep last night, or the night before that, and that is part of it but… the reason i haven’t been able to sleep is because of the case. i thought the therapy was enough, i thought it would be fine once i was distracted with work,” he sighed, “i know i’ve made you all uncomfortable and i don’t know what to do about it. i wish i-“
“hotch.”
“-could just open up. i’m so sor-“
“aaron.”
he stopped his sentence midway and found your concerned eyes.
you chuckled, “if you say sorry one more time, i’m going to really make you sorry.”
it took a second for aaron to muster out a laugh as well, but eventually he did, and the sound put a genuine smile on your face.
still kneeling, your hand came up to softly caress his jaw. “don’t apologize for how you’re feeling, aaron. i’ll admit that the atmosphere is a little more tense than usual, but let's be honest here," you dropped your hand from his face, “we're all tense. we're profilers, for gods sake. what are we but tense?"
aaron gave a nod of approval, his lip curving into a small smile.
"and also, don't feel obligated to talk to us. everyone has their own coping methods. we're just reminding you that if you do need a person to talk to... we're here to lend an ear. and of course, we hope you remember that it's more than okay to take a break or admit you're uncomfortable. we get it. we won’t judge.”
you feigned a thinking face, “well, rossi might judge a little, but at least we won’t!”
he snickered and nodded again at your words, taking a deep breath. his hands had stopped shaking and his breaths seem to be more regulated. you smiled at him one last time before the both of you began to stand up.
as aaron straightened himself, he realized something. he didn't like the others calling him by his first name, but there was something different about the way his name sounded rolling off of your tongue. in fact, he would do anything to hear you say 'aaron' again.
before you could both exit, the stall door behind you suddenly closed. a surprised ‘oh’ left your lips, and aaron looked equally as confused. the inclosed space pushed you closer to him, and just for a second, you saw his eyes flicker to your lips. you expected him to open the door like a gentlemen or apologize for the close proximity, but nothing ever came. you opened your mouth to say something, but all you could breathe was a quiet whisper of his name before he crashed his lips onto yours.
-
a/n: the washroom stall door was truly a paid actor.
yippeee !!!!!!!! bc i cant get the image of hotch with a big fat crush on a fellow bau member out of my head wuehwjdb it'd be so cute !! & even funnier if u're so obviously crushing on him back while he's just... having an existential crisis. worrying his ass off abt all the issues having feelings for u as ur superior brings & trying to be super formal & professional during the whole process 😭😭
you’re the only one, despite being a profiler yourself, who hasn’t noticed his humongous crush on you— even garcia figured it out despite usually being the oblivious one— and they all think it’s so funny because you genuinely worry about hotch potentially not liking you as a person/team member because he’s so polite/formal with you but it’s just because he’s Awkward <3
If you’d like to be a part of Aitana’s taglist, please let me know!
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Aitana felt a couple of jabs on her left arm when Emily pulled her off the ground. Her ears were ringing. Everything was ringing, actually.
"Oh God, that hurt," Aitana groaned then winced when Emily touched her left arm.
"Looks like you got a bit of glass in there," Emily said, checking the three wounds on Aitana's arm as best as she could. They were just outside the bank, covered in soot, thankfully alive.
"What the hell happened?" Aitana looked at the bank and immediately gasped. "Oh my God — did it explode?"
"Yeah," nodded Emily, "Go back and let the paramedics look at you."
"No way in hell," Aitana said while Emily got a head start into the bank. She hurried after Emily, careful to lift her feet to cross over the chunks of cement that had fallen. "These guys might still be in there."
"I doubt it," Emily remarked, eyeing the ruins with disdain, "This was planned."
"She was disappearing from the screens every now and then," Aitana said, "She set off the bomb?"
"More than likely." Emily led them down the stairs to where the vault had been.
Each one was a little slower than normal, but neither one would admit to it. Aitana definitely wouldn't admit that her arm stung pretty badly.
They came across a storage room and to their surprise, there was an elderly couple sitting on the ground. They hurried to check their pulses and while the woman was weak, she was conscious unlike her husband who was completely out of it.
"We can't move them on our own," Aitana said.
"You go back upstairs and get the medics," Emily said, secretly hoping that the medics would stop Aitana and treat her arm while they were at it.
Before Aitana even moved, they heard Morgan's and JJ's calls. The two scurried over to the women and checked them over.
"Are you guys okay?" JJ said.
"Yeah, fine," Aitana said before Emily could mention her arm, "What about you guys? And the others?"
"Compeltely fine," Morgan said, his head turning towards the civilians.
"They were hiding back here," Emily explained.
"Can we move them?"
"Yeah, with help. He's unconscious."
"Just let me stay with him," the elderly woman begged them with a strained voice.
"I can't find Will," JJ said to the women, hoping they would give her a clue of his whereabouts.
"He might be down below," Emily told her and watched JJ dash down without a second thought.
"Okay, we're going to get help," Morgan said, reaching for Aitana's arm only to hear her hiss and recoil.
"Glass in the arm," Emily said before Aitana would make up an excuse.
"You need to see a medic," Morgan said and reached for Aitana's other arm. "And you've got one very worried Pretty Boy up above. C'mon."
"What?" Aitana looked back at Emily as Morgan pulled her towards the stairs.
~ 0 ~
Morgan personally walked Aitana out of the bank's front entrance and brought her to the nearest paramedic. He only left her when he was sure she wouldn't deny medical attention. About fifteen minutes later, Spencer was running towards her while the medic was still helping her.
"Aitana! Thank God you're okay!" He stopped beside her and examined the wounds on her arm. They were located towards her shoulder but looked more or less superficial.
"Like I've been telling everyone, I'm okay," Aitana said, "I didn't figure it out on time but I'm okay."
Spencer knew that was a jab for him. He sighed. "Aitana, I didn't mean it the way you think I did."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Aitana said. The medic finished patching her up and left her with a series of bandaids on her arm. Aitana then hopped off the truck and started walking, leaving Spencer to follow.
"You do because it upset you." Spencer found no other choice but to grab her (noninjured) arm and turn her around. "I say things, I ramble, but you gotta believe me when I say I would never say anything to hurt your feelings. I could never do that to you."
Aitana looked at him, flushing under his intense gaze. Spencer reached for one of her hands, freezing her in her spot.
"I have a big mouth, I know I do. People have told me that before…they've also gotten upset with me because of it…" Spencer sighed, his eyes falling on his hand holding Aitana's. "I love my friends but I usually always end up screwing something up with at least one of them, especially the important ones." He leaned closer to her face, almost as if he were going to kiss her.
Aitana certainly thought so, which was why she now felt her heart racing at about a hundred beats a second. She'd never had him this close to her and, after a bit of thinking, she found that she didn't mind at all. In fact, why hadn't this happened before?
Because you were busy denying things, went the little voice in her head. Yup, that was exactly why.
"I'm sorry," Spencer insisted, hoping he would hit some kind of luck that wouldn't let him ruin the friendship he built with Aitana. He didn't know what he would do if she didn't forgive him. Panicking even more, he slid his arms around her, going instead for a hug. He could've gone for what he actually wanted, probably should have…
Either way, however disappointing it was, Aitana still brought her arms around him as well. She felt his head trying to hide in the crook of her neck. She hugged him tighter.
"It's okay," she whispered to him. She had to restrain herself from leaving a kiss in his hair. The circumstances begged for it but she wasn't brave enough. She had to settle for what a friend would do. "We're okay. I promise."
~0~
While the team didn't find Will near the bank, they found clues the he left behind to prove he was still alive. It was the next best thing.
Penelope brought up a few street cameras to try and track the unsubs down. She eventually found a car that seemed to be driven by their unsubs. "Ok, I can see two figures in the car," she said as she tried to zoom in even further on the front window.
JJ leaned in herself to try and catch anything. "Please tell me one of them is Will."
"See how she's turned?" Emily noted the awkward sitting position the Queen was sitting in. "It's like she's keeping an eye on someone in the back."
"Does this mean Will's in the car?" Penelope looked hopeful at her.
"There's somebody back there."
"What's the license plate?" asked Hotch.
Penelope did the research and came up with a strange answer. "That's weird. They're government tags. Federal."
Indeed the car turned out to be a black SUV that even they used.
"Well, they're either stolen or forged," Rossi said, sounding slightly impressed with the tactic. It wasn't one they saw every day. "Who the hell are these people?"
"They set up roadblocks in the district from 66 to Dulles," Penelope read off her screen.
"Wait. So we're looking for a black SUV with its sirens on," Kevin remarked, "That's gonna stand out."
"They must have a safe house set up," Aitana spoke up, wanting to keep some of that optimism going. "I mean, they can't expect to escape so they gotta have somewhere else to go."
"I bet it'll have to do with their outside man," Morgan said, "It's the only way."
"But where would they be headed?" JJ racked her brain for any logical answer, something that would get them closer to Will. "What's their end game?"
"There's no logical reason," Hotch said, "They want to create panic."
And, oh, they had created panic indeed.
"She's struck all over the world, which says she might not be American, but her ideology certainly speaks to Washington," Spencer said, "Whatever point she and her partner are making, it's important that D. C.'s the setting."
"The brothers were from Philadelphia," Rossi said, "The other partner might be homegrown as well."
"Homeland's sending over a list of possibilities," Penelope said, switching tabs on the screen.
"They're not on anyone's list," Hotch said, stopping her.
"Then how do we find them?"
"We find the common denominators between all 14 robberies and we go from there."
"So she's our only answer." Strauss did not like the odds that gave them.
"I'll call Easter at Interpol again," Emily offered, "Now that there's been an explosion, he might have some ideas." She headed out of the truck to make that call.
~0~
When Emily returned to the team, they had gotten a few lab results from the remaining bomb pieces. It led them to a very old fashioned phone used to fund the explosion — 10 years old.
"A woman they called Lady X stole a sedan from Scotland Yard 8 years ago," Emily related the story Easter had told her, "The investigation concluded she was a trained assassin. She disappeared."
"So Lady X and Queen of Diamonds is the same person?" Strauss asked her.
"It sounds like it." Emily moved behind Penelope's chair at the computers. "Garcia, look at assassination attempts around the civil unrest in Chad. If she was a hired gun, she was likely taking orders from someone. Maybe she's still working for the same guy now and he's still pulling the strings."
"Or maybe she's found her equal," Hotch said, thinking it was more of a probability rather than still a loose theory. "Their obsession with killing and domination has culminated in what we've seen today."
"Getting off on the disaster they've created. Classic symphorphiliacs," Spencer said, no doubt about it.
"Then this isn't over," JJ said, swallowing hard. They had Will with them. "Now that they've gotten away with this, where are they gonna strike next?"
~0~
Half an hour later, there was an emergency call involving one dead body, shot in the stomach with a bullet. JJ raced to get there, so Morgan joined he'd. The rest of the team stayed behind to continue trying to identify the unsubs. They relaxed a little learning Will was not dead — a medic had helped patch him up and was unfortunately killed.
Working fervently, Penelope and Kevin managed to note something important in the bank footage. They quickly showed it to the others.
"All right, here's where Chris started shooting hostages," Penelope said, zooming in on the moment, "The fella next to him didn't even flinch. Doesn't even break a sweat. We know he's ex-military, but still…"
"His name is Matthew Downs," Kevin explained as Penelope brought up the information about the man. "That's what he told Rossi and he wasn't lying.
"History shows dishonorable discharge from USMC in '04," said Penelope.
"Ok, do me a favor and go back to the screen," Spencer asked her and moved beside her chair. He watched intently as Penelope rewinded to the moment he asked for. "Keep going. To where Will walks in." Penelope set the footage to go forward. "Ok, now watch him."
Chris had shot Will and in the meantime, right behind him, the Queen and Matthew shared some pretty interesting glances.
"Look at her," Aitana said incredulously, "Her partner was in there the whole time, just not in the way that we thought. They've — they've literally been recording themselves like a…like a home movie."
"He could have been killed." Penelope understood nothing of what was happening. Chris has turned his gun over to Matthew afterwards, threatening to kill Matthew.
"No, she wouldn't let that happen," Hotch said, "It's all part of their plan. They've created scenarios that are practically impossible to survive. When they make it, it's the ultimate high."
"Like an adrenaline junkie," Kevin realized.
"Let's try to find Matthew Downs," Hotch instructed the team.
They ventured into the streets, combing through the officers and victims and came up with nothing. When they started asking if anyone had seen Matthew Downs, nobody could answer. He was like a ghost who had disappeared.
When JJ and Morgan returned as well, JJ had practically come only to drop Morgan off and make a turn for home. Out of everything Will left behind, JJ noticed his driver's license was missing in his wallet. Rossi immediately volunteered to drive her to her place to secure Henry. There was no way she was going there on her own.
"We may or may not be on a clock here," Morgan said when JJ had left, "We need to find Will now."
The others agreed and started reviewing once again. The more they reviewed, the more likely they were to figure out something they missed the first time.
"Today was less about the money and more about the spectacle," Hotch said the biggest detail of the case so far. "Everything they've said and done was for a reason.
"You know," Aitana tilted her head at the screens. Penelope had left the screens on the close ups on the Queen and Matthew. "Rossi said she was very adamant to go to Chad, while Chris wanted to go to Switzerland. Why?"
"They also requested a private plane, but no mention of a pilot," Morgan added.
"Guys, if you think about it, even the dates mean something," Spencer said, having racked his brain for those missing event details. He instructed Penelope to bring up a timeline of Matthew's work, the ones they were very privy to anyways. "In 2004, while she was wreaking havoc abroad, he was dishonorably discharged. Then in 2008, they likely met in Chad. And now this in 2012."
"Ok, so is it a coincidence that those are all election years and they attacked D. C.?" Morgan wondered. "Maybe this is a political statement."
"No. It's more personal than that…" Emily said, eyeing the screen, "It's their story. All of the details are a part of their story."
"Their timeline suggests they were both destructive before they met," Hotch remarked, "So we're talking about ex-military turning on their country."
Emily agreed with him. "It's rare, but soldiers become disenfranchised no matter what the nationality. And if he met someone like-minded at that time, there'd be no stopping them."
"So you're thinking they met during the civil unrest in Chad in '08?" Aitana asked.
"Yeah, and one or both of them are pilots," Spencer said, "So if Garcia concentrates on that region, specifically weapons running in and out of Libya, there's a good chance we'll find their paths crossed."
Penelope knew to act then and started research on screens. "Ok, multiple entries into Libya for a private pilot named Matthew Downs in '08, but I don't have her name."
"Well, because she had aliases," Emily said, unsurprised. "It's the only way to stay a ghost. Here's the thing — they are a couple. Regardless of what we believe of them, they will celebrate themselves and their connection. Is there anything that happened on this date in Chad?"
"Oh, you are good, Emily Prentiss!" Penelope said when the details started piling on her screen. "But this news is not. Yes, there were multiple explosions on this date in '08!"
"Where were the most casualties?" Hotch asked her.
"At a church — no, no, a train! Yep!"
"Uh oh," Aitana blinked, "Are trains still arriving at Union Station?"
"Yes, but only the authorities are allowed in," Penelope said.
"That's why they needed Will," Emily concluded.
"Let's go!" Hotch said, taking the lead out of the truck.
~0~
Despite being told numerous times to stay behind, Aitana was right behind with Emily at the train station. She didn't make it this far to stay back in an ambulance. There were plenty of people being evacuated by other local enforcement at the station, making it that much harder to maneuver the situation.
"He's gonna want to stay close to watch," Hotch warned the group through their ear comms.
Setting a second bomb would give them the high they needed after surviving the first one, which just made sense for Matthew to stick around to see it.
Aitana split from Emily at the higher levels, one taking the east and the other the west hallways. What better way to watch the chaos than to watch it from the highest floors just before the bomb was about to go off?
"Hotch, I got the suspect going out the east wing!" Morgan suddenly exclaimed, no doubt taking off after the man.
"On my way!" Hotch said a moment later.
Neither Aitana nor Emily bothered to follow as they were still looking for the bomb itself. Instead, Emily found Will chained up to said explosive.
"Is he mobile?" Hotch asked.
"Negative. He's got 6 transmitters on him and this whole place is gonna blow!"
"All right, where are you? I'm on my way."
"No, you gotta get everyone out!"
"I got it, Hotch. I'm closer anyways." Aitana was already running back from where she came from.
Emily was already working on trying to disarm the explosives when Aitana reached them.
"You should've gotten out of here!" Emily told her.
"And leave you? No way!" Aitana fell to her knees beside Will. "As cliche as it sounds, we're all in this together. So, what can I do?"
What Emily was not going to do was sit there and argue with someone who thought more left like her, so they got to work. The timer on Will's chest was counting down from 2 minutes.
"Ok, everything they did and said was about them," Emily said, leading Aitana to agree.
"Classic narcissists," she said.
"Romantics."
"Agree to disagree."
"So they met in 2008…" Emily typed in the year on the countpad.
"Ooh, what are you doing?" Will's voice shook with reasonable fear. "Seriously, just go! Go!"
The code had been wrong and so the time jumped down a few seconds.
"What about Chad!?" Aitana suggested. "She was so hellbent on Chad, right?"
Emily agreed and typed it in. "2-4-2-3."
It turned out to be wrong again and so now the counter was down to 30 seconds.
"Oh! Damn it!" Emily groaned. "Ok, these are valentines for her, so a 4-letter word. Love, life, soul—"
"Izzy," Will said, having it occur to him. If he was going to die, he might as well try. "Her name is Izzy."
Emily typed it in the name and to their surprise, it worked. Of course, a second later, a second transmitter opened up on Will's arm. It counted back from 20 seconds.
"Oh, God!" Aitana exclaimed, frantically glancing at Emily. "Now what!?"
"Look at the wires!" Emily scooted closer to the second transmitter, prompting Aitana to shoot as well.
Hotch tried calling them in for their status but Emily ripped her comms. out to focus better. "The storytelling's in the details."
"We're good!" Aitana answered him, even though it was a blatant lie. She then promptly pulled her comms. out as well. "Okay! You said it's all about the story — their story — so it's the colors, right? It's the colors of the wires!" There were three wires on the transmitter — red, yellow and blue.
"What do they mean?" Will couldn't glance at the wires properly, making things feel worse for him.
"The colors of the flag of Chad!" Emily said.
"How do you know that!?" Aitana looked at her incredulously.
"I read," Emily said distractedly as she studied the wires better. She held her hand out and Aitana promptly planted a pair of scissors from their vests. "Red, yellow, and blue. Only one is different from the U. S. flag — yellow."
Aitana anxiously watched Emily cut the yellow wire. The counter stopped right at three.
"Ooh! How'd you do that?" Will slumped against the pole he was chained too, finally able to breathe properly.
"I didn't overthink it…" Emily let out a breath of relief.
Aitana fell on the floor on her bottom, letting out a heavy sigh. "Emily Prentiss, I absolutely love you!"
"Mhm…" Emily nodded. She liked herself a lot right now too.
"Let's just…let's just take 5…" Aitana laid flat on the floor, "Just 5…"
"Yeah, and maybe get your arm checked out again," Emily said, leaning over to Will to start untying him. "Both of you."
"Mm?" Aitana sat up and looked at her arm. She could see the thin bandages were no longer doing their job. "Okay, maybe…"
Emily didn't leave it up for debate.
~0~
Late in the evening, the team, save for JJ who had earned herself a reasonable amount of time off, returned to the BAU to finish off the lingering kinks of their grand case. Aitana even returned a little later to finish her part. Her wounds had been properly stitched up now that she gave the rental the opportunity.
Penelope came down the steps into the bullpen still wearing her costume from the morning, a time that felt like eons ago.
"The convention's still happening tomorrow if you want to go," Spencer told her.
Penelope made a face and shook her head. "That whole city on the brink of destruction thing kind of took the wind out of my sails, you know? That'll do it every time."
"I need a pick me up," Aitana said and turned to Emily, "Emily, when's the housewarming party?"
Emily blinked and suddenly everyone was looking at her expecting her to give them a date for the house she was supposed to own by now. "Umm..there is a horizontal crack in the foundation. It just weakens the entire base that the house is sitting on. So, um, no house."
"Yeah. That does not sound good," Penelope said with a shake of her head.
Strauss came out of Hotch's office and stopped by the group with some good news. "So, our unsub is Izzy Rogers." She presented them with a record of their Queen of Diamonds. "She'll be charged with multiple counts domestically, and our international counterparts will have their turn with her. She will never see the light of day. I just thought you'd like to know that."
"Best news ever!" Penelope gave a thumbs up.
"Agent Morgan, a word?" Strauss motioned with Morgan to follow her a little to the side.
A minute later, Hotch emerged from his office carrying a phone call. "Hang on, let me check. Oh, wait, she's here. Erin, don't go anywhere!" He told the woman then addressed the others. "Dave wants to know if everyone is free tomorrow night?"
"Well, it depends on if he's buying," Morgan said, "Then I'm definitely in."
"Yeah, me, too!" Aitana said gleefully. She could do with a good evening, even if it was tomorrow.
"You hear that?" Hotch spoke into the phone again. "We're in." He said a few more things and then suddenly he was calling for Aitana. "Rossi wants to ask you something."
"Me?" Aitana blinked a few times. "Why me?"
Hotch shrugged. "I don't know. Find out."
"O-okay…" Aitana looked at the others with a bemused smile then rushed to take Hotch's phone.
A few minutes later, she went into her office then came back into the bullpen with her purse. Everyone immediately noticed her mischievous grin.
"What did Rossi want?" Emily eyed the brunette curiously.
"Nooothing," Aitana giggled. "If you'll excuse me, I have something to get ready for tomorrow." She wiggled her fingers goodbye. "See yah!"
~0~
In the early evening of the next day, they started gathering at Rossi's house. He had gone all out with his grand backyard decorated beautifully with tables and what seemed like a dance floor. Lights were strung around the place, twinkling in the dark night.
"Oooh, look at that!" Penelope was drawn to the flower arch in the middle of the backyard. She had dragged Spencer with her to admire it together. "It's so pretty! Rossi, I love it!"
Rossi stopped by with a drink in hand. "Thanks, but it was actually Aitana who found it. She's very good at planning that one." He gave a mock salute towards the two.
"Is she here yet?" Spencer asked, already looking around for the missing brunette.
"Uh, no, she'll be in a little later," Rossi said, and while Spencer was still looking away, Penelope noted the secretive smile on Rossi's face.
"What are you guys up to?" She grew more curious by the second, and even more so when Rossi's smile turned into a smirk. "Rossi?" The man gave another mock salute and went on his way. "Ross—Rossi! Come back! Oooh, he's up to something! We should find out, Spencer," She huffed and turned to Spencer. "What — Spencer!?"
"What?" He blinked and looked back at Penelope, startled. "What was that?"
"You didn't just—" Penelope pointed after Rossi— "Rossi's up to something! Didn't you notice it?"
"Uh, no, sorry…" Spencer's gaze started to drift again. Hotch, Beth and Jack had just arrived and were talking with Emily and Morgan.
"What? But you always notice everything," Penelope said, frowning. "It's like the best, yet equally annoying, talent of yours."
Morgan brought Beth and Jack out to the garden where the boy immediately dashed to the fountain.
"Morgan, something's wrong with Spencer," Penelope declared as soon as Morgan was within hearing distance.
"What?" Spencer frowned. "No, no, no, I'm okay. I'm just…" He looked around again and there was still no Aitana. The disappointment was hard to deny, even if it was to himself.
Morgan only looked at Spencer for about ten seconds before he began smirking. Penelope still didn't know what was going on which just irritated her even more.
"I swear I hate it when you two don't tell me stuff!" she huffed and marched off.
Morgan was decent enough to wait until Penelope was gone to talk to Spencer. "I thought I told you to say everything already" — he hit Spencer's shoulder — "Yesterday."
Spencer stepped back from the hit, rubbing his shoulder, then let out a sigh. "I heard you, I did—"
"Then why are we still here?" Morgan rubbed his forehead. "You nearly lost it twice — you lost her almost twice —"
"She's not mine," Spencer mumbled and received another whack on his chest.
"Because of you!" Morgan exclaimed then chuckled. "This is starting to move on from being 'funny' to just being plain sad."
Spencer couldn't argue about that. He felt 'sad' a lot of the time lately, and those times were usually when he was away from the BAU, ergo away from Aitana. Although he had perfect memory, it seemed like this time he couldn't pinpoint when things had changed so drastically.
"What if—?"
JJ's surprised laugh cut through the conversation and because she, Will and Henry had finally arrived, everyone turned in their direction.
"Someone knows how to throw a party," JJ had said to Rossi, "You don't mess around."
"What can I tell you?" Rossi shrugged. "I'm the host with the most."
"No kidding," JJ said, gazing at the backyard behind him.
"Hey, look who's here…" Rossi's words drove her attention to a very familiar blonde woman coming out of the house behind the group.
JJ did a double-take at the woman, shocked. "Mom?" Her mother smiled. "Ok, what's-what's going on?"
"Well," Will leaned over to her, "we couldn't get married without your mama."
JJ looked over at Rossi questionably. The latter grinned. "I might have overheard a little proposal yesterday."
"And I couldn't wait till Monday," Will added.
"Okay…" JJ nodded and threw Will and Henry sharp looks, "so this is why you guys are so dressed up, huh?"
"Yes. And you will be, too," Mrs. Jaraeu said, motioning to the dress cover in her arms, "I brought something borrowed."
JJ's eyes widened. "Mom, is that your dress?"
"Yes. Let's go see if it still fits."
"Wait, wait!" Someone cried and seconds later Aitana came bustling into the backyard with a special box in her hands. "Mom's got the dress, I've got the 'something blue'!"
"You made it!" Penelope said, still sounding crossed. "Why are you late, Sprinkles!?"
Aitana giggled. "I had to make a stop first! Then I had to call for help!" She looked back into the house. "Over here!" She stepped to the side just as Elia and Hotch carried in a big pink box. "Typically in Mexico, you get padrinos for weddings. I" — she gestured to herself — "am your madrina del pastel." At the blank faces she received from most of her friends, she laughed and translated. "Cake godmother."
"Wow, okay…" JJ was absolutely dazzled with the surprise that just kept getting better and better. She glanced back as Morgan helped Hotch and Elia settle the cake on a table. "Where did you even—"
"JJ, my parents run a bakery," Aitana reminded the woman. "Now go get dressed! Go!" She handed JJ the box with her something blue and ushered the two inside the house.
"Good girl," Rossi told her afterwards, to which she laughed.
"You know, if this whole profiler-liaison thing doesn't work, I think I could make a good wedding planner," Aitana said proudly, making the others chuckle.
"Let's get ready, shall we?" Rossi motioned the others to help him move a couple things.
While JJ got ready upstairs, the officiator had arrived. The others helped settle the cake better on the table. Aitana oversaw the whole thing. Once things seemed to be in order, they waited for JJ to come down.
That's when Spencer took his moment.
He moved around the others until he came up to Aitana. "Um, hey." As soon as the words left his mouth, Spencer regretted it. Couldn't he come up with something better than that?
Aitana didn't seem to think his words were bad as she turned around and greeted him. "Hi."
"Hi…" That time, the word was fine but his breathing was off. In fact, Spencer felt like he had lost the ability to breathe in general and he knew there was no medical reason for that to be happening.
But Aitana was the reason — the sole reason for his loss of breath. From a distance, Spencer knew that Aitana looked beautiful. She was dressed in a golden cocktail dress with spaghetti straps. Her usual wavy hair was in more defined curls and there was a red shade of lipstick coating her lips. And she smelled so nice too…a beautiful intoxicating scent — talk about an oxymoron.
"U-uh I…about yesterday!" Spencer exclaimed when he realized he'd been silent for too long. "I-I wanted to…to talk about yesterday…" He took in a shaky breath.
"Oh, yesterday? Yeah, no…we don't…we don't need to discuss that," Aitana shook her head.
"We do, we really do," Spencer said, "Because…because I did not mean to say that stuff. Honest. I swear!"
"I know," Aitana said, smiling warmly. "And I should've known better than to think otherwise. You're always so sweet to me." She sighed. "I'm just really, really, stupid sometimes. I misunderstand a lot of things."
"No!" Spencer said with a frown. "You're not — you're not stupid! I think you're very smart."
Aitana's smile broadened. "Yeah, you would say that. Sweet. Honest, Spencer, I'm not mad about it anymore. I should've never been mad about it. You literally time everything."
Spencer chuckled. "Yeah, yeah I do. I don't even realize it, honestly."
"It's fine," Aitana assured him. "Now, why don't we go watch the wedding? I helped plan it, didn't you know?"
Spencer smiled at her and her excitement. Now everything made sense around her and Rossi with their secrecies. "Yeah, I heard."
JJ soon returned from upstairs wearing her mother's wedding dress. She was dazzling when she met Will on the stand. And in half an hour, the couple were officially husband and wife. With the congratulations here and there, it took them a while to move to the table for the traditional toast and dinner.
Rossi led the toast in the middle of the tables that were set up in a squarelike manner. He tapped his glass to get everyone's attention. "They say that good things happen to good people. Today is one of those days, and these are two of those people. We love you. Cheers."
"Cheers!" Everyone toasted to the newlyweds and drank.
As the night progressed, music started to play and with it came the carefree atmosphere that everyone had needed. Emily 'lurked' around the party, really taking in the sight of her friends one last time. She was going to be brave and tell them, yes, but tomorrow. For tonight, she would settle for tying up a few loose ends and…nudging those who needed to be nudged.
Unironically, there were only a few people who weren't dancing at the moment. Aitana and Elia were busy at the cake, deciding that one slice was not enough for them.
"Hey, look at you guys," Emily chuckled at the sight. They were like two little girls sneaking in a bite of cake.
"Don't tell our parents," Aitana said as if she had read Emily's thoughts.
"When we were younger, we would swipe our fingers into the finished cakes from Aitana's bakery," Elia snickered. "We used to get into so much trouble! I'm surprised your parents still let me come back!"
Aitana snorted. "I'm surprised I didn't get kicked out."
"Well, hey, do you guys want to dance?" Emily gestured back to the dance floor. "You're missing out on some 'awesome' dance moves" — she nodded dramatically, causing another round of snickers — "from Morgan."
"Yeah," Aitana peered around Emily, "I kinda wanna see it from afar."
"Speak for yourself," Elia laughed, "That's the kind of thing you see from a very short distance!"
Aitana laughed as her friend dashed off. Emily stopped her from following with a grave 'got a moment?'.
Emily bit on her bottom lip, really wanting to start off on the best foot and not screw this up. "You know, when I first met you, I'm not gonna lie, I thought you were a little weird."
Aitana started to laugh. "I hope you didn't think I wouldn't be!"
Emily chuckled. "No, no, I think you were exactly what this team needed. Which is why I'm very grateful that JJ thought of you as her replacement. She, like me, saw something in you that…sparked with someone. And even beyond that, you just fit so nicely with the team. It didn't feel like you were replacing anyone."
Aitana cocked her head to one side, her brows furrowing suspiciously. "Why does this sound like a goodbye speech?" Emily's smile that time was sad. Aitana felt a terrible pit in her stomach. "Emily, no." She put her cake on the table behind her and focused on this conversation she predicted would be very, very terrible. "Why…why-why are you leaving?"
Emily shrugged lightly. "I think it's the right move for me." And as hard as it seemed to be to speak her truth, Aitana felt the confidence in the decision. There was no turning back.
"I'm sorry—"
"No, you shouldn't apologize for knowing that this is what you have to do," Aitana said. "I should know. Is it fair to say that I miss you already?"
Emily chuckled. "Only if it's fair to say the same thing about you guys."
"Aww…" Aitana couldn't help it. She hugged Emily tightly and wished her all the best things in whatever she wanted to do next. "The team won't be the same without you."
"Yeah," Emily parted from Aitana, "But you'll be just fine. And you know what? You'll be even better if you decide to do something for yourself."
"Like what? Eat more cake?" Aitana reached for her cake on the table.
"No," Emily stopped her and turned them both towards the dancefloor, "I meant do something for your heart."
Aitana was smart enough, and also quite tired knowing what everyone was talking about, so this time around…she didn't say anything. She just looked out ahead to where their friends danced.
"Can I ask you something?" Emily asked. Aitana nodded silently. "I thought you guys were amazing together — from the start, actually. And today, I know you guys are great. So why don't you tell Spencer how you feel?"
Aitana bit on her bottom lip. Her eyes set on Spencer who was showing Henry a magic trick. There were a dozen great things she could say about him and yet not one word would suffice to encompass just how much she felt for him. So that's what she responded with.
"I'm not…what he needs."
"What? You are exactly what he needs," Emily looked at Aitana with a bemused smile. She couldn't believe that Aitana didn't believe it. "You're…you've had him since the day you met, Aitana. You didn't feel that spark? That connection? Personally, I've never seen someone connect over a puzzle. But you and Spencer seemed to have no trouble with that."
"A puzzle is different, Emily," Aitana said grimly, "I like doing puzzles because that's the only thing I know how to do. Spencer knows way more things that I-I wouldn't be able to keep up with him. I'm afraid he'd get bored of me. That he eventually would see how insignificant I am in comparison to him."
"No," Emily said sharply, "He wouldn't. For a profiler, you sure have missed a lot in this specific case. It's not about academics here. I doubt that's what Spencer thinks of when he thinks about you because yes" — she pointed at Aitana just as the latter opened her mouth — "he thinks about you. A lot. You have introduced him to things I bet he never thought about doing, and it would be a real shame if you didn't at least try to see if went anywhere."
For some reason, Aitana felt a sting in her eyes. "Can I ask you something?"
"Anything."
"I don't want to get hurt. I…haven't had a relationship since I went into Witness. After I got out, I-I couldn't get myself together. I couldn't even hold a job. I didn't date anyone because I didn't want to bring them down with me. I would never forgive myself if I did that to Spencer. He's so sweet, Emily. I don't want to hurt him—ever."
"I think right now, you're hurting yourselves with this excruciating silence." Emily gave Aitana another hug. She whispered something in Aitana's ear before she pulled away.
Aitana watched Emily leave with a stunned face.
~ 0 ~
He was surprised when Emily slipped in front of him on the dancefloor. Spencer had no idea what it looked like when someone willingly wanted to dance with him but for Emily, it was all good.
Until she told him what she did.
"No—" he tried to stop dancing but she gripped his arms and forced him to keep moving. "Emily, if you have ever valued my friendship — my life — please tell me you were joking."
Emily was dead serious when she shook her head at him and reiterated that she had spoken with Aitana. "I didn't tell her anything about you. I just…asked her to evaluate what she wanted."
"Why? Why? Why?" Spencer all but whined.
"Because we're all tired of this nonsense," Emily retorted then called upon Morgan's and Penelope's opinions as they danced beside them.
"Oh definitely," Morgan said with a roll of his eyes.
"It's getting really old," Penelope said and turned with Morgan.
"Seriously, Spence, do yourself the favor," Emily said, "She nearly died twice yesterday. Doesn't that make you wanna run and get her already?"
Spencer's mind went back to his frantic state at the bank after the explosion. For the first time in his life, he hadn't been able to think one single coherent thought that wasn't about Aitana's wellbeing. It only stopped when he had her in front of him and he could see for himself that she was alive and well.
"I…almost kissed her…" He admitted, and that time Emily did stop dancing, absolutely stunned with him. He cleared his throat, feeling his face light up on fire. He thanked God that Morgan and Penelope weren't dancing nearby anymore.
Without saying a word (yet), Emily grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the dancefloor. She then turned on him, opening her mouth only for him to cut her off.
"After the explosion, I didn't know what happened to Aitana and I…I panicked, Emily. I panicked like I have never panicked before." Even now, it scared Spencer to think about ever feeling like that again. "I-I couldn't see anything past her safety. That's never happened before."
Emily smiled widely, and warmly, at him. "But you do know why it happened, right?"
Spencer shrugged lightly, meekly even. "Maybe…"
"So think about that happening again and not being able to hug or kiss her afterwards?"
Spencer shook his head slowly. He knew what Emily was going to say next so he beat her to it. "What if I ruin it? What if — what if I don't know how to do it and I end up ruining our friendship? I-I can't stand the idea of not seeing her."
"Then don't think about it ending. Think about all the things that brought you to her in the first place. Think about all that stuff and just…have fun, Spencer. I don't think you've ever really understood that word. Have fun with your life, with the person you really, really, like. Give yourself that opportunity and stop thinking about whether or not it would work."
Spencer swallowed hard. He looked around the backyard and spotted Aitana dancing with Morgan. His thoughts got away from him again.
He remembered the last time those two had danced together and the rage he didn't understand. He felt the rage tonight but this time he fully understood it. He accepted it.
Emily grew tired of waiting for him to respond. "Spencer—"
"Gotta go." He left Emily standing and strode to the dancefloor. He had no idea where the courage came and he wouldn't question it as he tapped Morgan's shoulder. "Can I cut in?"
Morgan was surprised and immediately raised his hands. "Any time."
Spencer felt a bit of his confidence wane when Morgan left and he realized what he had done. Aitana was now waiting for him to do something. He cleared his throat, twice, and asked if she wanted to dance with him. With a small smile, she nodded.
The little courage he had seconds earlier completely vanished when he slid an arm around her waist and his hand took hers. They danced slowly — when did a slow song start again? — in silence. There was no real way to start a conversation, at least not until Aitana's shawl started slipping from her shoulder.
"Sorry," Aitana mumbled as she stopped their dance to quickly pull it back.
Spencer smiled lightly at her. "It's fine."
"It got cold," Aitana said, throwing the other end of her shawl back over her shoulder. She hoped she didn't come across as 'uber excited' to get back to dancing. "That and I still have my lovely connect the dots on my arm." They shared a small laugh together. "Not exactly the pinnacle of grace I wanted to be tonight."
"I think you still look great," Spencer said without hesitation. He felt Aitana's subtle freeze and how she seemed to cower at his words by lowering her head, like she didn't believe. It led to his insistence of the fact. "You always look great to me."
Aitana let out a small scoff. "You've seen me at 5am. I know for a fact I don't look great then."
"I never noticed."
Aitana felt his sincerity. She looked up at him with a swelling heart. "You're not so bad yourself," she mumbled, "Actually, you're never 'bad'. Especially when you wear that purple scarf. Did you know purple is your color? Makes your eyes pop."
"U-uh, no, I…didn't know that…" Spencer was a blushing mess. Wasn't he supposed to be doing that to her? She always turned the tables on him, and he wasn't one bit mad at her for it.
Aitana's smile was wide; she knew he was blushing. He was always so shy about things like these. It was adorable.
"You know, some people believe that colors can actually influence people. For example, purple would be considered a bright color which usually gives a vibrant look to the wearer. Gold — or yellow — tend to remind people of happiness, optimism and youth." Only after he finished speaking did Spencer realize he had just rambled on about colors.
Aitana laughed softly. "Well, I like to wear gold and yellow because it's my favorite color…but nice to know that it also brings happiness to others."
Spencer still smiled at her, albeit in the end he felt ridiculous. This wasn't going how he expected. "I'm sorry, that was…that was pointless…"
Aitana made a face at him that he completely missed because he was staring at their shoes. "What are you talking about? I liked it. I always like what you have to say. I'm sorry if anyone's told you the opposite."
Hearing her guilt is what brought Spencer's head up. "It's not on you. I…I always say things and…not all of it is great, and not all of it is said at the best moments."
"Why wouldn't this moment be okay? I'm okay. Are you?"
Spencer drew in a small breath to answer her. "Honestly? No, I'm not okay."
Aitana definitely wasn't expecting to hear that answer. "O-oh…did I…did I do something?"
"No!" Spencer exclaimed. "You didn't do anything! It's…it's me. I'm-I'm trying to tell you something and I can't do it. Every time I get close, something else comes out instead. That's never happened to me before…but it always seems to happen when you're around." He stopped dancing, thinking the moment had passed. It flew past him at this point. "I'm sorry."
Even though she wasn't sure what he wanted to say, Aitana already felt disappointed. "Oh…I'm sorry."
Spencer shook his head, reiterating that it wasn't her fault. It was him. He couldn't do it. He couldn't just say it. Why couldn't he say it!?
Aitana watched him struggle on his own. She couldn't take it. She took his hand and led him out of the dancefloor, ignoring the passing looks of the others for her sake.
"What are you doing?" Spencer asked her when they stepped inside the house. He didn't mind holding her hand but he was still curious.
"When I got out of Witness, I couldn't be around groups of people. You encouraged me to take small steps to reintegrate. You're always helping me and you have no idea how much I appreciate it." She brought him to the front door and stepped out to the porch, pulling him with her. She then shut the door behind them and turned to face him. "When you're nervous, you should try to give yourself the space you need to breathe." She took both of his hands and held them between them. "Breathe," she gently instructed him.
Their eyes were locked on each other when they both took a breath in.
"They say when you're nervous, you should always talk to someone you can trust. I can be that person, if you'd like."
A little smile appeared on Spencer's face when he thought of the irony. "When did you become a doctor?"
Now it was Aitana's turn to blush. "I got the idea from you."
"Me?"
"When you started giving me tips, I started doing my own research. That's what you do to me, Spence. You motivate me to get better." Aitana's hands squeezed his. "You inspire me to be better. That's why I play games with you whenever you spew out something from your Well of Knowledge."
Spencer's smile spread. "Is that why you like reading together too?"
"No…" Aitana watched his smile wane with her answer. Her heart started picking up then. "I read with you because I like to spend time with you — alone."
Spencer's brows raised in surprise. The words failed him in that moment, so Aitana took her opportunity before she too chickened out.
"I would never pick out some classical Chinese book on my own but when you read it to me, I'm genuinely interested in it…and I also just like the sound of your voice. Did you know there's a different octave in your voice when you speak Chinese? Or that when you try to speak Spanish, one of your eyebrows sort of lifts? Did you know that sometimes when I get home, my blouse or sweater kind of smell like you? It's weird but it's true and I promise you that when I spend time with other people, I don't care about their every little moves. I just care about yours." Using her grip on their interlocked hands, Aitana leaned up closer to Spencer. "Is that close to what you were going to say to me?" She was breathless and desperate to hear his answer.
Her face was right in front of Spencer's, allowing him only a very little moment of concentration. Maybe that's the problem. Stop thinking. "More or less," he replied in a whisper. He felt like he was in a trance. No medical explanation for that either.
"O-okay, g-good…" Aitana swallowed hard, "So…we're…we're on the same page then…right?" Her eyes flickered downwards twice before she was able to lock them with his.
He'd already followed her gaze those two times. "Yes."
He grabbed the sides of her face and kissed her.
Aitana's eyes fell shut and very quickly fell into the kiss. She moved with him at an exceptional speed — she may or may not have imagined what this moment would be like so she was naturally excited to live it out. She brought her arms around his neck and seamlessly fit her body with his.
Spencer would have no problem saying how much he disliked people touching him in any way. He would absolutely despise anyone pressing their body against his…but there wasn't any hint of that feeling right now. There was no scientific explanation except for the simple fact that he just liked — no, he wanted Aitana. However blunt it could sound, it was the truth.
They parted a minute later, with plump lips and flushed faces.
Aitana chuckled. "Maybelline owes me $12."
"What?" Spencer knew he was horrible with words and women, the usual, but he was really lost right now.
"My lipstick — it's all over your lips right now. It was supposed to be long lasting but, um…" Aitana scrunched her nose, "Can I?" She raised a thumb.
Spencer smiled at her. Yes, he absolutely wanted her. "Yeah…"
Aitana gently rubbed her thumb on his lips, an act that brought a more fierce flush on her face. "Are you okay?" She asked, knowing exactly how he felt about touch.
Spencer watched her like he was in a trance. "Aitana, right now, I am perfect."
Prompt - ‘A person could hold a longing in them all their life, but every now and again it broke the surface and breathed.’
Sometimes it was easier to distance yourself from a situation, when you could see it playing out in front of you, could see that you were only setting yourself up for heartbreak, setting yourself up to fail, it was easier to take a step back and reevaluate the situation.
It was the smart thing to do, taking yourself away from the situation would save you a world of pain, of hurt, of wasting your nights away thinking about the what if’s. And you were smart, you usually put yourself first and could deal with things not going your way.
But when it came to him…god you felt like you were the dumbest person alive. You’d tried at the beginning, you really had tried to step back, to put some distance between the growing friendship when you realised your eyes gazed at his smile for too long, when you realised you were doing anything to hear his laugh, you really had taken a step back and thought of the pros and cons.
There hadn’t been too many cons but there was one major one that stopped you telling him how you felt.
Penelope Garcia also liked him.
You could see it a mile away, could see it in the way she insulted him and complained about him behind his back. You could see it in the stolen glances both of them risked and the smiles that pulled at their faces when the other looked away.
You knew letting your feelings develop would only hurt you but by the time you had realised they were there it was too late.
Luke and you had been fast friends, it hadn’t taken more than a conversation or two for you to feel comfortable around him; to start smiling naturally around him. The two of you worked well together, easily able to read each other without a word and moving together silently to catch whatever unsub you were dealing with. It hadn’t taken long for Hotch to notice and the two of you were paired together more often than not nowadays.
The close bond you’d developed at work bled into your personal lives and it wasn’t long before you were spending as much time at the other's house as you were your own. Luke had a draw of your things in his place, clothing and toiletries swapped from your to go bag into his draw and bathroom, his hoodies had found their way into your closest as his own spare sets of clothes lay in their own draw and a collection of Roxy’s toys and spare bowls occupied a corner of your living room like they’d always been there.
By the time you realised you liked Luke it was too late, you and Luke’s lives were so connected, the daily routines you had made around each other were too developed. You tried putting some distance between the two of you, tried keeping it professional and only seeing him at work but Luke hadn’t let that last for more than a few days before he called you out on why you were avoiding him. Obviously you hadn’t been able to tell him the real reason and that had left you standing in front of him like an idiot as your mouth opened and closed before you were saved by Hotch calling you all into brief on the newest case.
Distance hadn’t worked, so instead you tried just shoving your feelings down. Naturally that also didn’t work but there wasn’t much else you could do. It was hard to hide how you felt, watching as Penelope and Luke went back and forth with each other and having to hide how much it hurt you was difficult at the best of times but when you were surrounded by some of the best profilers in the country…well it was nearly impossible. Thankfully though most of the team hadn’t noticed, you were pretty sure Rossi knew from the sympathetic looks he shot you but he had never called you out on it so you didn’t mind you hadn’t completely been able to hide it.
It had been years since Luke had joined the team and not much had changed, Luke and Penelope had only gotten more comfortable around each other, you had continued to fall harder and harder for Luke as each day passed and kept on shoving it so far down until it hurt.
“Y’know,” Rossi said from your side, causing you to startle as you hadn’t heard him. You had been too busy watching Luke lean against the counter, giving Penelope a soft smile as she had her back turned to him, their words not loud enough for you to hear from your desk. “Sometimes we put other people’s happiness above our own too much.”
You turned away from the break area and looked at Rossi who was leaning against your desk, looking at you with a soft look of concern.
“Rossi,” you began with a sigh, “I’m not about to ruin my friendship with Penelope just to get rejected.”
“Who said anything about rejection?” Rossi shot back, his lips twitching upwards as you rolled your eyes and gestured discreetly over to the pair.
“Seriously, Rossi? Aren’t you meant to be one of the best profilers? They like each other, I’ve known that for years now so any hurt I’m feeling is on me.” You told him, trying to keep your voice firm but it shook a little, betraying you, not that you could hide much from Rossi.
“Y/N,” Rossi sighed, bringing his hand up to rest on yours but you shook your head and pulled away from him as you stood from your seat.
“Please just drop it, Rossi.” You pleaded softly and Rossi just nodded at you sadly, watching as you walked away.
Luke’s attention was pulled away from Penelope and over to you, his smile softening as he watched you and Rossi talking amongst yourselves. It only took a moment before his eyebrows knitted together as he watched you swallow hard, your jaw tensing as you listened to whatever Rossi was saying. It was when you stood up that he took a step forward without meaning to, noticing how shaky your hands were even as you clenched them in a fist to hide it.
He watched as you left the room and missed the way Rossi’s eyes followed him as he left after you.
“Hey,” he called and watched as you tensed before seemingly forcing yourself to relax as you stopped and waited for him to catch up to you with a few quick strides. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” you told him as you looked past his shoulder rather than at him. “Rossi and I were just, it doesn’t matter, everything’s fine.”
“Y/N,” he murmured softly and watched as your jaw tightened slightly, “c’mon talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” you told him, keeping your voice as even as you could before taking a steadying breath. “Listen, if there was something to talk about I’d tell you, ok?” You lied and watched as Luke looked over you once more before nodding.
“Alright,” he said with a smile and you felt yourself relax, sure maybe you and Luke would never be a thing and you would spend so much time longing over what could have been but Luke was still here, he was still smiling at you, he was still your friend and that was enough.
It had to be.
“You wanna get some lunch?” He asked you, keeping his tone light and smile in place. “My hands cramping from all this paperwork.”
You laughed and suddenly Luke felt his smile become more real, of course he was still worried over whatever you and Rossi had been talking about but if you wouldn’t talk to him then the least he could do was take your mind off it.
“Sure, I could use a break.” You answered and mirrored his expression back to him even if it did carry a hint of sadness in it, you would savour any moment you had with Luke, dating or not.
“Good, my treat.” He insisted and when you went to open your mouth he shushed you before he broke out into a grin and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him as he led you to the elevator.
And so it passed like that for a long time, you forcing yourself to be content just being Luke’s friend, watching as him and Penelope settled into whatever kind of relationship they had going and your feelings for Luke just never letting up, never giving you a break.
You thought it might have been easier when Penelope left, much as you hated the thought because you loved Penelope, she was one of your best and closest friends, but not having to watch her and Luke every day at work made it easier to ignore your feelings, ignore the hurt you hated feeling when you saw them together.
It had been easier for a while until covid hit and the team was pulled apart, you and Luke were pulled apart. Where Luke, JJ and Rossi got to stay with the BAU, Spencer and Matt had been sent on secret missions that only Emily, with her promotion, and the other FBI higher ups were allowed to know about, Tara had been sent well honestly you were even sure where she was now but you hadn’t seen here in too long and then there was you.
You had been requested back with the FBI’s Undercover and Sensitive Operation Unit, a job you had worked for years prior to transferring to the BAU. You hadn’t minded at first, honestly you hardly protested at all, Emily promised it was a three month assignment and then everyone would be back together and as much as the thought of not seeing Luke for three months ached another part of you needed it.
But now it had been three years, the undercover mission you had originally been assigned to long since complete, along with four others and here you were in California deep undercover as you worked a drug case. You and Luke hadn’t seen each other for more than a few minutes in nearly two years and now here you were on opposite ends of the country, not even able to call each other for fear of blowing the operation.
Thankfully you were nearing the end of this operation, waiting on one last bit of evidence that would find all the big names in jail before the week was over. It only took two more days before you were in a hotel room, dreading the call where you’d have to decline another operation because…honestly you were drained. You missed your team, you’d done three years of back to back undercover work and you just wanted to go home.
You missed your friends, missed your own bed, your own identity. You missed Luke. God, you missed him so bad. You didn’t know what was happening with him anymore, three years ago the two of you couldn’t have imagined going a day without seeing each other yet alone nearly two years.
You used to love your position with the undercover unit but after spending so much time with the BAU you knew that was where you were meant to be. Just as you sat on the bed and picked your phone up to call Emily and plead with her to get you back it lit up with a call from Luke.
You felt some of the tension leave you just seeing his name before your eyes went wide and you quickly answered it. Luke never called, he knew it was dangerous to call you and you hadn’t let him know your operation was over.
Something was wrong.
“Hey, can you talk?” He asked, a smile on his face as the video call connected but he kept his voice hushed.
“Luke,” You breathed out, cursing yourself as you felt your eyes sting at hearing him for the first time in months, you took a shaky breath before nodding. “I finished my op today, I was just about to call Emily and then you.”
“Oh thank God!” Luke breathed a sigh of relief as his smile broke out into a grin, “I’ve missed you, Y/N/N.”
“I miss you too.” You choked out, feeling the tears you’d tried to blink away well up and you shook your head as you let out a shaky laugh. “I miss you so much.”
You didn’t care if Luke pieced it together, didn’t care that right now you were just too tired to push down your feelings, didn’t care that they had been dragged up to the surface so abruptly and it was too much. You didn’t know if Luke and Penelope were together, you knew they had gone on a date before everything had been ripped apart so you hadn’t exactly been able to keep up to date with how it had gone but right now you didn’t care.
You just wanted Luke.
“Hey, hey, you’re alright.” Luke murmured softly, his own eyes tearing up as he swallowed around the lump in his throat.
“I’m sorry,” you sniffed as you wiped at your eyes, “I’m sorry, I’m just so tired, Luke. I just want to come home, I miss everyone so much, I miss you. I’m gonna call Emily and see if she can arrange for me to come back because I can’t do another six months away.”
“Well then I’m glad I called,” Luke smiled and your eyebrows knitted together as you looked at him but before you could say anything Luke spoke, “we’ve got a situation down here and we need you back.”
You let out a laugh that sounded more like a sob causing Luke to grin at you through the phone and you grinned back even as more tears slid down your cheeks.
“Thank you.” You managed to choke out and Luke’s smile widened even more.
Luke had briefed you on what they had so far which, admittedly, wasn’t much. He gave you the rundown and had one of the new tech analysts send you over whatever else they had so once you boarded the plane you filled the five hour flight with getting up to speed with the case.
By the time you landed it was already midday so you got an uber to your apartment, took a quick shower and only spared half of a longing glance towards your bed before changing into some work clothes and heading over to join everyone else.
You felt a wave of relief hit you once you were in the elevator and nearly cried with happiness as the door opened and you could see your desk. You walked in and saw through the window that everyone had gathered in the round table room so made your way up the stairs and stood in the doorway.
It only took a moment for Emily to glance over at you before her face lit up and she made her way over to you, her arms already open and you easily went into them wrapping your arms around her and forcing yourself not to cry.
“Oh it is so good to see you.” She said and you could only nod into her shoulder and grip her a little bit tighter. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t get you back sooner.”
You nodded again into her shoulder and pulled away from her, giving her a shaky smile. You opened your mouth to tell her it was ok but you were stopped when you saw movement behind her, glancing over her shoulder to see Luke standing up and staring at you with wide, also watery, eyes.
“Y/N.” Luke said softly, so softly you almost didn’t hear him, especially over the sound of your heart pounding in your chest.
Emily looked between the two of you as she stepped aside but you hardly noticed her any more as you took two steps forward, Luke moved forward to and pulled you into his arms, you practically melted into them, unable to stop the tears as you buried your head in Luke’s chest and he gripped the back of your jacket tightly in his fists.
“I missed you so much.” He whispered into your hair and you nodded against him, letting out a shaky breath before you were able to speak.
“I missed you too, every day, every single day.” You told him, the words muffled against his shirt but he heard them clearly and you squeezed your eyes shut tightly when you felt him press a gentle, lingering kiss to the top of your head.
The two of you didn’t move, content to stay in each other’s arms after going so long without seeing each other, needing to feel the other against you, hear them breathing and feel them in your arms to reassure yourself that they were here. You probably would have stayed like that all day if you were interrupted.
“Alright, alright we get it, you two missed each other.” Rossi said, causing you to jump slightly and feel more than hear Luke’s chuckle. “But other people missed you too, kid.”
You grinned into Luke’s chest even as your cheeks were stained with tears before pulling away, looking up at him and feeling your cheeks heat up to see him smiling so softly at you. You finally glanced away and looked over to Rossi who winked at you causing you to laugh softly before you let him pull you into a tight hug.
“I missed you too, Rossi.” You murmured, brushing one hand up and down his back as you lowered your voice slightly, knowing that everyone else in the room could still hear but it didn’t matter. “And I’m really sorry I couldn’t be here for you-”
“Hey now, none of that.” Rossi interrupted and pulled you away from him before placing his hands on your cheeks and gently brushing the tears away causing you to smile sadly at him. “I’m okay and you’re back now, nothing else matters.”
Your heart ached as you looked at Rossi, losing Krystall had taken its toll on him but he was right you were back and he was ok, things would be ok. Rossi patted your cheeks gently before he pulled you close and placed a kiss on your forehead causing your smile to brighten.
“It’s really good to have you back, kid.”
And you were back, immediately thrown into work with no more catching up with anyone. It was impossible to crack anything without Penelope and your heart ached something fierce when Luke offered to go and try to get her back. You’d forgotten how much this bit hurt, for three years you hadn’t had time to dwell on it, too wrapped up in your undercover work to even think about your actual life but now it was like you never left.
You shook your head and focused back on the case at hand, working away until Luke walked back into the room and handed a hot mug which you took gratefully.
“How’d it go with Penelope?” You asked and watched as he shook his head with a frown.
“I get it, you know?” He said and your eyebrows knitted together as you waited for him to carry on. “This job takes its toll on all of us but her, it took everything she had and she never complained. I hate that we’re trying to drag her back into this.”
“If there was another option you’d take it, even if it took longer to crack the case, you’d take it to protect Penelope. This isn’t on you, Luke, whatever happens in this case, if Penelope comes back and it’s too much, that’s not on you.” You assumed they were together, they had to be, it had been years since their first date and there was no denying their chemistry, so you’d sit back like you always had and not get it in the way of that, no matter how much you selfishly wanted to after being away for so long.
“God, I’ve missed having you around.” Luke breathed out and you smiled over at him. “When this case is over I’m taking you out for dinner, it’s my turn to buy.”
“I’ll hold you to that.” You laughed and shifted closer to him, close enough that your arms brushed against each other and you hesitated for a moment before letting yourself have one selfish moment, Luke wouldn’t think too much of it, you’d been gone for so long it made sense you’d be a bit more clingy.
You let your head rest against his shoulder and felt Luke relax into the touch as he gently rested his head on top of yours, tilting slightly so he could press a kiss into your hair as he did. Neither of you spoke, both of you were content where you were.
That brief moment of peace was all you were able to steal before you were separated again, Luke working with JJ on finding a connection as you stayed with Penelope, who had thankfully come back because you seriously didn’t know how you were going to finish this case without her.
You desperately wanted to ask Penelope about her and Luke, wanted to know as badly as you didn’t want to know but you couldn’t ask her yet. Now wasn’t the time, right now you had to focus on the case.
“I’m telling you I hate this guy, hate him! I mean first he brings me back to this job and I love you people, Y/N, you know I love you with my whole heart but I was out! And then he refuses to work with me, like I’m the problem, me! And now, now Rossi and Emily are teaming up and making me work with him.” Penelope ranted as the two of you walked to the ballpen, a smile on your face as you listened to her.
God, you really had missed being back.
“Good luck.” You grinned as you made your way over to your desk, Luke already leaning against it, as Penelope turned to glare at you before disappearing into the room with Tyler Green.
“Think Rossi will be able to get anywhere with him?” You heard JJ ask as you joined them, leaning against the desk next to Luke who was looking towards the briefing room with a fond grin.
“I think the real question is, will he survive Garcia? It looks like Tyler Green is Garcia's Most Hated." Luke said, amusement clear in his tone and you smiled even as you felt a pang of hurt at the affection in his voice.
“Sounds like you miss it, buddy.” Tara said with a grin and Luke chuckled warmly as he turned back to you all.
“No. He can have that title.” Luke said, the fondness in his expression staying even as you got to work on the case, pointedly ignoring every time you and Luke brushed against each other.
The case seemed to lead to more dead ends than anything else, victims and witnesses refusing to help and share their story, share who their attacker was, it was driving you crazy.
“Here,” Luke said, handing you a warm to go cup and a sandwich from the coffee shop down the road. “You look like you can use a break.”
“God you’re the best, Luke Alvez.” You grinned as you took the items from him and both sat at your desk. “I feel like I can’t complain though, I mean this case is rough but I’ve missed being here.”
“We never did get a chance to talk about your undercover ops.” Luke prompted after swallowing a bite of his own sandwich. “I know you can’t say much but are you ok? I mean from what little you told me and what I was able to piece together from Emily, it seems like it was just back to back assignments with no chance to breathe.”
“I don’t know, I mean, it’s the unit I worked with before the BAU so I already knew how hard it was but…I don’t know, Luke. I mean I’m tired, I’m exhausted but I also haven’t had a moment to think about adjusting back from that to this. It’ll hit me at some point, it always does, but I guess we’ve been so busy here it just hasn’t yet.” You told him, wishing you could go into detail but even if you were allowed to you wouldn’t share it with anyone, especially Luke, he didn’t need to know the horrors you’d seen out there.
Luke reached over and cupped his hand on your knee, giving it a gentle squeeze before letting it rest there as he spoke.
“You call me, the second it hits you, you call me and I’ll be there.” Luke promised and gave you a stern look that caused you to smile before you nodded.
“I promise.” You swore and Luke nodded once seriously before a smile broke out on his face and he switched the conversation to a lighter topic and if your gaze stayed locked on his smile for longer than necessary, well you were allowed to be a little bit selfish sometimes.
“Give me a minute,” you interrupted Luke as you watched Penelope leave the briefing room looking shaken. Luke turned to follow your gaze and frowned in concern but watched the two of you leave together and he knew Penelope was in good hands.
“Hey, what happened?” You asked softly as the two of you entered Penelope’s office.
“I don’t want to talk about it but that guy, Tyler Green, is a jerk and he infuriates me.” Penelope fumed and you nodded at her, knowing her well enough to see she’d shut down even more if you carried on questioning her.
“Alright, so we won’t talk about it.” You agreed easily and she turned to face you with a grateful look. “We’re still waiting for leads to be verified so I’m free until they call me away.”
“How are you?” Penelope suddenly asked and you frowned at her, did you really look so bad that both Luke and Penelope were concerned? “Sorry, I just meant, this whole Sicarius thing has been constant since we both came back, I missed you like crazy and we’re together again and haven’t spoken about anything but this stupid case.”
“I’m okay,” you told her, unsure why you were lying so easily to her but hadn’t been able to tell Luke the same thing. “Once this case is over we’ll have a girls night but for now, I really just want to focus on this case.”
“You’ll tell me if you need anything, won’t you? Even just a hug.” Penelope asked and you couldn’t help but chuckle warmly at her as you nodded, a surge of love filling you as you looked at your best friend.
This is why you stayed silent all those years, why you let yourself fall in love with Luke Alvez without a word. It was because you loved Penelope Garcia, she was your best friend and if Luke made her happy then you would never get between that.
“What’s going on?” You asked Luke as you slipped back into the bullpen a while later and Luke shifted closer to you as he filled you in on the new lead, telling you that there was something connected to Sicarius in Georgia.
“JJ, Luke, I want the two of you in Georgia by nightfall.” Emily commanded and you couldn’t help but frown slightly, watching as Luke’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion as he glanced between you and Emily, even JJ looked slightly surprised you and Luke weren’t being paired together.
“Um, yeah sure, on it.” JJ murmured as she tapped Luke’s arm and gestured for him to follow her.
“Be safe.” You told him softly and he took your hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze before nodding and turning to follow JJ and you could only watch him leave before turning to Emily who spoke before you could.
“I need you in with Tyler Green, Garcia refuses to work with him, see if he knows anything about Benjamin Reeves and get him and Garcia on the case together.” She said, passing a file to you before turning on her heel and walking away.
You sighed before heading into the briefing room and placing the file down.
“You’re new.” Tyler said as he lifted his gaze to you and you nodded at him.
“Agent Y/L/N.” You told him before jumping right into why you were here. “Benjamin Reeves, does that name ring a bell to you?”
“Well hello to you too,” he muttered but you just sat down next to him and pulled the tablet close to you. “Reeves, no, never heard of him. Should I have?”
“Maybe, he’s a possible Sicarius connection we’re looking into, could be nothing, could be something.” You explained, turning to face Tyler. “ Reeves had a thing for biting people, a wannabe cannibal.”
“Now that rings a bell.” Tyler told you and you raised an eyebrow, gesturing for him to continue. “Look up the term ‘overbite’, you should get something.”
It took you a few minutes to pull the servers up, you weren’t bad with technology but you were no Penelope Garcia and all of this looked like a different language to you. Eventually you had overbite searched up and results appeared. You and Tyler went through the chats together, him explaining the private chats to you as you searched for something.
“I don’t get it.” You murmured to yourself causing Tyler to raise an eyebrow at you.
“Get what?” He asked when you didn’t say anything else and just continued to stare at the screen.
“A rich kid like him, he has everything, there’s no way Sicarius found a way to convince Reeves to kill himself when things got bad. This Sicarius, much as I hate the bastard, is smart, he’s planned for every version of events, every contingency, so why bring Reeves in?” You questioned, not so much directing them to Tyler but needing to work through it aloud.
“Think about it,” Tyler said and you turned to look at him expectantly. “Sicarius has this whole operation, something like this costs money. Your Reeves guy, he’s the funding, I’d bet Reeves knows all about Sicarius’ operation and he has special privileges.”
“But soon enough Reeves’ will just be a loose end.” You realised, standing up to go and tell Emily they needed to find Benjamin Reeves.
You didn’t have a good feeling about this.
Before you left the room you turned to Tyler, you needed Penelope on this case and Tyler seemed to be proving useful.
“Listen, we need to know everything Reeves and Sicarius are talking about. We need to find out what their plans are. This could be our shot at Sicarius. Now I can’t do it, you don’t know where this private forum is but…” You said watching the man sigh before he interrupted you to finish your sentence.
“Penelope can. Fine, bring her back in.” He told you and you laughed at him before shaking your head.
“I have a serial killer to help catch, you’re gonna have to grovel and get her back yourself.” You grinned at him and watched him put his head in his hands. “Talk to Rossi, he’s good at messing up with women and winning them back.”
“Emily!” You called as you watched her enter the room, jogging down to meet her half way. “Tell me you still have Reeves’ here.”
“No, he was let go.” She told you and you cursed softly causing her to frown. “What is it?”
“We need to get to him. Now.” You told her and you were already moving past her, nearly knocking into the Deputy Director.
Both of them followed you out and into one of the SUV’s as you filled Emily in on your theory that Reeves’ was a lot closer to Sicarius than any of you had originally thought, that Reeves could be the one to lead you to the head of the network.
“Fuck!” You cursed as you all entered the house and saw the Senator dead on the floor, bite marks clear on her face and body and you turned away from her, not able to feel anything but anger at the thought of your best lead slipping away.
The ride back to the office was quiet and you prayed Penelope had managed to find something, no doubt that Tyler would have listened to you and convinced her back to the case. You checked your phone before getting out of the car and forced yourself to breathe when you saw Luke hadn’t texted you back.
As you and Emily walked in Tara was already making her way over to you with a tablet in hand.
“Benjamin Reeves' jet just touched down at the Municipal Airport in Whitfield County, Georgia." She told you both urgently.
“What?” You said, frowning as you snatched the tablet of her and read over it.
“That's where he said the ‘buried treasure’ was.” Emily murmured as she looked over your shoulder and down at the tablet.
“Something's not right.” You said as you pushed the tablet into Emily’s hands and pulled your phone out, already pulling up Luke’s contact.
“What...he should be flying to Brazil. Why would he lead us to more evidence?” Emily asked in confusion as she thought back to their conversation.
“You think it's a trap?” Tara asked her but Emily shook her head.
“No. I think Benjamin Reeves is a patsy and he's too dumb to know it.” She said.
“I’m calling Luke, I’ll let him know him and JJ have company.” You said, phone already against your ear as you spoke.
“Hey Y/N/N, we’ve just got here, how’s everything back there?” He asked and you felt a shiver of fear run through you, something really wasn’t right with this case and it had you on edge. Every part of you wanted to tell Luke to fall back, that it was a dead end and to come home, part of you wanted to scream at Emily for not letting you go with Luke.
“Reeves is coming to you.” You said instead and pushed everything down into the same space you kept your feelings for Luke. “His jet just landed there, be careful Luke.”
“Hey, I’ll be fine.” Luke assured but something in you wasn’t letting you relax.
“Luke,” you breathed into the phone and you heard him tell JJ to wait a second, there was some rustling and you assumed he was taking the phone off speaker and moving a few steps away from JJ.
“Talk to me, what’s wrong?” He asked and you shook your head, seeing Tara and Emily looking over at you and you followed Luke’s lead as you moved into the hallway.
“I don’t know, ok? I just-Luke, I have a really bad feeling about this one.” You told him, not wanting to worry him but you always trusted your instincts, you’d rather Luke be overly aware of his surroundings and nothing happening than have him let his guard down and Reeves get the upper hand.
“Alright, okay, I trust you, Y/N. We take this one seriously, careful every step of the way. I’ve got JJ watching my back.” Luke assured and you took a shaky breath that he picked up on. “Hey, I promise you I am going to be back with you soon.”
“God, I hate Emily for not letting me go with you.” You mumbled into the phone and let Luke’s laugh wash over you.
“Yeah, right now I’m pretty glad she kept you there if you think something bad is going down out here.” He told you and you couldn’t help the fond eye roll that escaped you. “Rather have you worrying back there than risk anything happening to you out here.”
“Just be careful, ok?” You asked softly and you heard his voice soften too when he spoke.
“I promise.” He told you seriously, causing you to nod even though he couldn’t see you. “We’re gonna head out now, satellite found a hidden door, our body cams and radios are gonna be on the whole time, alright?”
“Alright. Just…I’ll see you soon, yeah?” You asked and you could hear the smile in his voice when he replied.
“Yeah Y/N/N, I’ll be home soon.” He said and the two of you let the silence wash over you before you finally pulled the phone away and hung up, heading to the briefing room where everyone else was already set up.
“We’re live.” Penelope said as the screen showed both body cameras and she pointed out which was which.
You moved over to stand at the table, the radio in front of you and you felt like you couldn’t breathe, hardly let yourself blink as you scanned the screens in search for anything.
You really didn’t like this.
The team around you spoke but you paid them no mind, only listening when Luke’s voice came through the radio.
“We’re going in.” He announced as you watched him pull the bunker door open and you stood straighter at his words, dread filling you as they entered.
Luke walked in first and JJ followed after him, giving you perfect sight of both Luke and the bunker. At first it just looked like the other shipping containers that had been found but then you saw something, something the others hadn’t clocked yet.
“Oh my god.” You whispered and startled when a cell phone rang in the container.
“What the hell is that?” You heard JJ ask but your hand pressed the button on the radio before anyone could register what was happening.
“Luke, get the hell out, it’s a bomb!” You yelled into the radio and watched as Luke shouted at JJ to get out.
Then the cameras went out and you could only stare at them in horror.
“Luke, Luke, come in.” You said into the radio but there was no answer. “Luke, please.”
The team around you spoke but you couldn’t hear them, you continued to plead into the radio, begging for Luke to answer you until you were pulled away and only then did you snap back to reality to see Rossi looking at you in concern but before he could say anything Penelope called your attention to the screen.
“Oh! Oh! One of the camera’s is back online.” Your head shot around, tears falling harder down your cheeks when you realised it was JJ…Luke’s was still out. “Where’s Luke? I take back every mean thing I ever said about him. Please let him be ok.” Penelope said before excusing herself to see if she could get communications working from her office.
You didn’t have it in you to be hurt by the blatant reminder that him and Penelope were a thing, you didn’t care, you just needed him to be ok.
You turned to leave the room but Rossi caught you by the arm and gently spun you around to face them, Emily raised an eyebrow at you as Rossi spoke.
“Where are you going?” He asked and you shook your head as you tugged your arm free from his light grip.
“Georgia.” Was all you said before turning to leave again but Emily stopped you this time.
“Y/N, wait-”
“I’m going, Emily!” You snapped as the tears fell harder down your face. “You already stopped me going once, you’re not stopping me again.”
“Douglas,” she said after giving you a hard look, “it’s time.”
The Deputy Director didn’t say anything, just looked from Emily to you before nodding and gesturing for her to go. You didn’t know what they were talking about and honestly you didn’t care, you were going to Georgia.
You pressed the button for the elevator and shot Emily, Tara and Rossi a confused look as they stood with you but before you could ask what they were doing Garcia came up to them just as they stepped into the elevator.
“Where are you- you’re going to Georgia. Driving or…oh,” Penelope managed a smile as she nodded at you all, piecing together something you hadn’t. “Return it filled up and not just with fuel. Bring them home.”
“We will,” Emily said confidently enough that you believed her and you just hoped she was right. “Wheels up.”
Your eyes widened as you turned to look at her, you hadn’t asked but with all the politics and budget cuts it made sense why the jet hadn’t been mentioned. You didn’t think too much about it though, just thankful you had a quicker way of getting to Luke.
The hour-long flight felt like forever. Rossi sat next to you on the plane but other than holding your hand and letting you squeeze it tightly in yours he didn’t try and comfort you. You hadn’t stopped crying, you needed to see Luke with your own eyes, praying to God he was alright.
“Oh, thank God.” Emily said as you arrived on the scene and JJ and Luke made their way over to you.
You had frozen a few steps behind Emily, Tara and Rossi when you saw Luke. He looked fine, a bit beat up but considering what had just happened he looked fine. Your eyes filled with tears again and Luke’s gaze immediately drifted past the other three to land on you, making his way over to you just in time to catch you in his arms as you wrapped him in a tight hug.
Luke hugged you back just as tightly, burying his face in your hair and struggling to hold back his own set of tears as he heard you sob into his chest as your fingers dug into his back with how tightly you held him.
The others watched on as they spoke quietly among themselves about what had happened but Luke shut them out and focused solely on you. He knew he loved you, hell he’d known that for years now, but he never realised just how much until he’d nearly been taken away from you. Before he passed out, not even registering if he was ok or not, his thoughts had been consumed with you, regret from not telling you how he felt, guilt that you were watching him die through the body cam, sadness that he’d never felt your lips against his.
He swore to himself he was going to tell you.
“I’m alright, cariño, I’m alright.” He murmured into your hair and you shook your head, shifting into the hug like you could bury yourself further in his chest. “Yes baby, I’m ok, I promise.”
It took a few more minutes until you were able to pull away from each other and even then you didn’t go far, your hands coming up to cup Luke’s face, his hands covering yours as he ran his thumb across your knuckles.
“Next time I’m coming with you.” You told him shakily as tears continued to slide down your face and Luke chuckled as a tear slid down his cheek.
“Not a chance.” He answered and you just shook your head. “But the next time you have a bad feeling about something I’m listening.”
Luke leaned forward to press a kiss to your forehead, murmuring once more that he was fine, before he wiped at your tear stained cheeks.
To nobody’s surprise Reeves turned up dead and Sicarius was missing again. With all the evidence from the container turned to ashes there wasn’t much you could do but head back to Quantico.
You were exhausted by the time you got onto the jet and were asleep against Luke in seconds of being up in the air. Luke wasn’t complaining though, he just wrapped his arm around you and pulled you even closer.
“So does your brush with death mean you’re finally ready to tell her how you feel?” Rossi asked once he was sure the girls were distracted and you were asleep.
“You’ve been pushing this for years now, Rossi.” Luke sighed, looking down at you in his arms and thinking about how right it felt. “Every time I told you no, I couldn’t risk our friendship, couldn’t risk losing her.”
“And now what are you telling me?” Rossi asked with a smile, knowing full well what the answer was but wanting to hear the younger man say it.
“I’m telling you that I nearly died today.” Luke said steadily and paused for a moment, Rossi didn’t say anything, knowing he needed to sort through his thoughts. “I nearly died today and the last thing I thought was I really hated that Y/N was watching this. I didn’t want her to see that, Rossi.”
“I know you didn’t, kid.” Rossi told him, thinking back to your reaction back in the briefing room, watching you shut down, plead with a dead radio and snap at Emily.
“I’m telling you I love her.” Luke finally confessed out loud. “I love her and I have for longer than I know and I already lost so much time with her when she was sent back to the undercover unit and I nearly lost the rest of my life with her today. I can’t risk having another day where she doesn’t know, even if she doesn’t feel the same, I don’t care anymore, I need her to know how I feel.”
Rossi sat back in his seat with a smug look of satisfaction that had Luke rolling his eyes and suppressing a smile. For years now Rossi had been hounding him over when he was going to make his move, he knew if this worked out for the two of you he’d never heard the end of it from the man.
“Attaboy.” Was all Rossi murmured before the two of them settled into silence and Luke let himself savour the feeling of you in his arm.
By the time you were walking back in the building Tyler Green had been released without charges for his cooperation, another lead came up and Luke and Tara were being assigned to it and before you could say anything Penelope rushed over and took JJ and Luke into her arms.
As Luke, Emily and Tara worked on the death row inmate lead you and Rossi sat in the briefing room with Penelope in an attempt to pull up anything about what Sicarius’ next plan was. Like most of this case though it seemed impossible to find a solid lead even after the hours you'd spent reading through the forums.
It was when you had moved to comparing the victims that Penelope’s phone rang and you glanced at her questioningly as she excused herself in a hurry, turning to look at Rossi who just shrugged and turned back to the boards in front of you.
“Here,” You said as you handed Luke a mug of coffee before pulling a chair up next to him at his desk, “you look like you need it.”
“Thanks.” Luke sighed tiredly as he brought the mug up to his lips, you were able to catch a soft smile before it was hidden by the mug. “This case is exhausting.”
“No luck with the death row inmate then?” You asked and he sighed again, a deep and tired one that you felt deeply, you were all running on even less sleep than usual as this case took up every moment of your time.
“We have a guy who’s prepared to die to keep the man he loves safe. The boyfriend just came in and gave us evidence that Herrera couldn’t have committed the murder because they were together. Now Tara and her girlfriend are fighting but at least we got the guy off death row.” Luke filled you in between sips of coffee and you watched him lean back in his chair and let his eyes fall closed.
“And I thought me and Rossi were having fun scrolling through post after post of wannabe serial killers.” You chuckled tiredly causing him to turn his head and smile softly over at you. “How are you holding up anyway? I feel like we’ve barely had a minute after coming back from Georgia.”
Luke let out a chuckle as he nodded, bringing his hand up to rub at his face before letting it fall, he seemed to hesitate for a moment before reaching across and taking your hand in his, his thumb brushing across your knuckles as he locked eyes with you.
“Y/N, I heard that bomb go off and I didn’t know what was gonna happen.” Luke sighed and you squeezed his hand softly, trying to offer some comfort without interrupting him. “I figured I could have died, now I know Sicarius timed it perfectly and warned us but then, I didn’t know if I was gonna live or die and my only regret, the only thought in my head was-”
“Y/N, Luke!” Penelope exclaimed loudly, her heels clicking against the floor as she ran into the bullpen and just like that whatever peaceful, hopeful moment that had settled between you and Luke vanished as you jumped, his hand pulling away from yours as he turned to Penelope, your gaze staying on him a second longer before you turned and faced her too. “Meeting room, now!”
Luke turned to glance at you and you shrugged before following the other woman into the room where JJ, Emily and Rossi were already gathered. You took a seat next to Luke, desperately trying to ignore the way your knees brushed together and forced yourself to focus on Penelope informing everybody about her theory on how Sicarius hunted.
It felt like there had been a shift in the case with the new information and you wanted to be happy over it, hell you were happy, for the first time since you’d been called in it actually felt like you could catch the unsub. But then there was the Luke of it all. You had been so close, Luke’s hushed words felt like the confession you’d wanted for so long and you were so close.
“Y/N, I need to talk to you. Now.” Penelope said as when everyone but you and Luke left the room. You glanced at Luke who just shrugged at you before Penelope pushed him out of the room, Luke letting her with a laugh.
“Penelope, are you alright?” You asked as she paced in front of you, her hands fidgeting with each other before she stopped in her tracks to look at you.
“I kissed him.” Penelope rushed out and you stared at her in confusion as you waited for her to continue only for her to stay silent as she looked back at you with wide eyes.
“You kissed who?” You prompted, eyebrows frowning as you glanced out of the window, your gaze falling on Luke but not sure why Penelope would seem so flustered over kissing her partner.
“I kissed Tyler.” She clarified and your head shot around to face her as your eyes widened in shock.
“You kissed Tyler Green?” You exclaimed and she shushed you even as she nodded, confused as she watched your frown deepen. “What the hell, Penelope?”
“I know, I know I said I couldn’t stand him and that he was a jerk but you know…and he ended up not being so bad and I kissed him.” Penelope rambled but when she saw you shake your head she paused. “Are you ok?”
“What about Luke?” You finally asked, keeping your tone even despite being furious with her. For years you’d pined after Luke but kept it to yourself so she could be happy with him and now she was here, quite casually telling you she had kissed another guy whilst her boyfriend was sat in the next room.
“Luke? What does Luke have to do with this?” She asked, seeming genuinely confused causing your eyebrows to knit together. Neither of you said anything for a long moment before Penelope broke the silence. “Oh my god, you think me and Luke are dating.”
“You’re not?” You asked in confusion, head spinning at the new information.
“We went on one date three years ago.” She told you with a slightly panicked laugh and you could only stand there and stare at her wide eyed. When you continued to stay silent Penelope’s eyes widened and she stared at you in shock. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!”
“Penelope!” You hissed stepping closer to her and risking a glance out of the corner of your eye to see the team had turned to look up to the window at her raised voice.
“You like Luke!” She exclaimed and you could do nothing but collapse into one of the seats, unable to deny the statement but still reeling from learning that the one date you knew about was all that had happened between them. “Oh my gosh, you like Luke and you didn’t tell me! I mean I know he’s y’know,” she said and pulled a face, “Luke, but you two would seriously be so cute together!”
“Wait, you’re not mad at me?” You asked, feeling like you were drowning with how confused you were. “I thought you liked Luke. I thought you were together this whole time.”
“Y/N, me and Luke had one date, it didn’t go anywhere. Did I like him? Sure but I wasn’t heartbroken that we were better off not dating. Wait, is that why you never said how you felt about him? How long have you been keeping this a secret?” Penelope asked and she seemed genuinely upset for you.
You felt way too overwhelmed right now and leaned your elbows on the table, resting your head in your hands as you took a shaky breath before looking back at her to see her sit in the seat next to you.
“You always had this love-hate thing from the beginning,” You stared, knowing you wouldn’t be able to leave without answering her questions. “You didn’t need to be a profiler to see the chemistry between the two of you, everyone knew something would happen between you and him. So I kept my mouth shut.”
“Wait, you’ve liked him since he joined?” Penelope asked sadly and you just shrugged.
“I don’t know, I wouldn’t say straight away. I mean we hung out together outside of work after he’d been here for a month or two, I spend as much time at his place as I do my own, you know? At some point I started, I don’t know, I wanted to be with him.” You told her, looking down at your hands as you messed with them to avoid her eyes. “But I, I saw the way you looked at him when he looked away, I saw the way he smiled at you when you called him names. I didn’t want to mess with anything between you two and then when I came back, I just assumed the two of you had finally gotten together.”
“There was never anything between us. I mean sure we flirted but it wasn’t serious. Maybe it could have been years ago but too much time passed and nothing happened.” Penelope sighed and you glanced up to see her frowning. “You should have told me.”
“Yeah, now I know that.” You murmured, your mind on all the time you could have potentially had with Luke. “You really don’t like him?”
“Y/N, if I wanted Luke Alvez I would have done something a long time ago to have him,” she told you, “plus I probably wouldn’t have kissed Tyler, who by the way is so hot.”
You let out a shaky laugh before nodding to yourself. Now things were looking up, the case seemed like it might actually be possible to solve and Luke words from before that you desperately wanted to believe were leading into a confession seemed like a more realistic outcome now.
“Sorry, I have to take this.” Penelope said apologetically but you just smiled at her as she answered it, standing up and gesturing for her to stay in the room as you left.
You kept your head down as you walked out of the room, thoughts racing a mile a minute as you made your way out of the bullpen area, missing movement from the corner of your eyes as Luke broke away from the rest of the group. You hadn’t realised he had followed you out until he jogged up beside you and caught your hand in his, stopping you in your tracks.
“Hey,” he said softly as he stood in front of you, his eyes filled with concern. “Is everything alright? Things looked pretty serious between you and Garcia.”
You hesitated a moment, it would be so easy to tell him now. There was nothing to stop you, no fear of losing two of your closest friendships lingering over you anymore.
“The thought in your head,” you said, causing him to frown slightly in confusion at the change in topic, “the thought in your head when the bomb went off, what was it?”
Luke’s face shifted to recognition as he looked back at you after glancing around at the people walking through the hallway. He shook his head before he gestured for you to follow him, not that he needed to as he kept his hand in yours as he pulled you into one of the empty meeting rooms.
“How much I regretted not telling you how I feel about you.” Luke said once the door was closed and he turned back to you. “How I’ve been in love with my best friend for years but I wasn’t brave enough to ever tell you.”
As he spoke he got closer to you, raising his hand to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing against your cheekbone and you felt frozen to the spot, scared to breathe in case you shattered the moment and he pulled away.
But Luke wasn’t going anywhere, not now that he had finally managed to force the words past his lips. He leaned down and rested his forehead gently against yours as he waited for you to say something.
“I thought you died,” you finally choked out, watching as his face softened and his other hand came to rest on your waist. “I thought you died and I hated myself for not telling you that I’ve been in love with you for as long back as I can remember.”
Your words were quiet, barely more than a whisper but with how close you were pressed against each other Luke heard them clearly. A grin broke out on his face, he tried to reign it in but it was impossible when the person he’d fallen so hard for was telling him his feelings were returned.
His eyes glanced down from your eyes to your lips and he watched as you smiled back at him. It was all the permission he needed to lean down and press his lips to yours. The kiss was nothing more than a brushing of lips first before it turned into something more. Luke’s hand on your cheek made its way up to your hair, fingers tangling in the strands, as he pulled you impossibly closer with the hand around your waist before pressing you against the wall. Your hands found themselves pressed against his chest as you let yourself explore it and the kiss…
The kiss was filled with a mix of emotions, so much passion, so much longing, so much desperation. This was a kiss that was years in the making, a kiss both of you had only let yourselves dream about, neither of you thinking it would ever become a reality.
You were forced apart when both of your phones chimed at the same time, Luke pulling away first and the pair of you breathing heavily as you caught your breath, Luke’s forehead coming back down to rest against yours as he grinned at you and you mirrored the expression back.
“I promise you, cariño, the second this case is done I am taking you out.” Luke promised and you couldn’t stop the breathless laugh that escaped you as you nodded and put his shirt back into place.
“I’ll hold you to that, Alvez.” His smile seemed to get even wider as he ran his hands through your hair, smoothing the strands he had held.
Your phone’s pinged again and Luke sighed before dipping his head down one more to press a rushed kiss against your lips. When he pulled away for a second time he pulled his phone out and showed you that you were both needed back in the briefing room.
As the two of you entered Luke held your chair out for you and you felt your cheeks heat up as you smiled at him before sitting down, glancing over at Luke as he rested his hand on your knee but he focused his attention on Emily though you could see the smile pulling at his lips.
When you finally looked away from him you caught Rossi and Penelope’s gaze. Rossi looked at you with a proud smile on his face, even if it was slightly smug and you couldn’t help but smile back at him as he winked at you. Penelope’s face had broken out into a full on grin that wasn’t entirely appropriate considering what Emily was saying but you let your smile widen as you looked at her, glad things had worked out and she wasn’t mad at you.
As Emily spoke you sat back in your seat. Luke liked you back, something you never thought would happen and wished like hell you had just spoken to Penelope about this years ago but it didn’t matter now. Now all you needed to do was solve the case, something that seemed possible now, especially with the motivation of a date with Luke at the end of it.
__________
Luke Alvez Taglist (Click the link in my bio to add yourself!) -
You were close, way too close. Clenching, heavy breathes, slowing movements, he knew this as well. “You gonna cum for me?” The soft traces of his lips danced delicately on your skin, peppered kisses wrapped around the neck, you bit your lip, eyes fluttered shut and your toes curled at the feeling that tranced your whole body.
A single gasp was all that you needed to let loose before you were collapsing against Spencer. Chest against chest, face buried into the warm flesh of his neck, you were burning. The churning in the depths of your stomach were ablaze, the last coil snapped and you were on fire. “Fuck! Oh — I’m cumming, I’m cu-“
Nails racked softly in his hair, grabbing onto the locks when small bursts of your orgasm hit. A gasp here and there, you breathed in his sweat in every sharp inhale, damp babyhairs stick to your flushed face, humidity hit you instantly and all you could feel was Spencer’s calloused fingertips feathering on your spine, coaxing you, overstimulating — And you loved every second of this bliss.
A few more mummers slipped from Spencer’s lips before he let go. A slight arch in his back with eyes fluttering shut. A sight to admire.
— a collection of episodes that give us a glimpse of love growing over the years, from its different sides, from beginning to end — 1.
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: “I cling to you like the tear clings to the eye, like the knife clings to the wound.” [based on 4x15]
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: slowburn, mentions of violence (typical cm stuff).
𝐀/𝐍: that’s maybe chaotic, but I hope u’ll like it <3 gif: @hotch-girl inspirations edit 📠
[2009, february]
Of what happened in those 20 minutes, she could only remember the feeling at the end — a relaxing inexplicable sense of relief; like after a grueling race, when you're at the finish line you don't care if you won or lost or how you did it, you're just grateful that it's over.
He was frightened away, and in his haste he must have thought she was dead. Perhaps, that's because she stared motionless for a while into the dark sky above them. She found it amusing, at the end of the hour — it was 5:20 when she left the station, seven minutes later she was walking here, 20 minutes it lasted, now about 5:47 — the park was beautiful, warm, the grass was a little long; she felt it with her left hand and touched the damp asphalt with her right.
Voices were heard distantly, she saw the red light from the ambulance, and Hotch's face was the first one she recognized among the others.
“Y/N, you’re safe now,” he looked anxious — the way she rarely saw him, “They’ll take you to the hospital, you’ll be all right.”
She knew Hotch needed to hear a word from her, but she could barely move her mouth, just stared at him and blinked. Blood from her nose got on her tongue.
“God,” Hotch wiped the trickle over her lip with his hand, “Don’t..” his own lips moved silently.
Y/N reached up to his forearm, hardly perceptible squeezing it — it wasn't that bad, she wanted to say.
She remembered him praying.
“Did he say why her?” Aaron was focused, keeping his eyes on the board; to keep so much in his head he had to constantly strain himself physically — the body movements served as a defense mechanism for him as much as anything else.
“He didn’t know Y/N’s one of us, he just met her on the street,” Rossi didn't want to tell everything he got from the guy: I have no idea why, I see a guy walking down the street with a stupid look on his face and I want to bush him over the head.
Hotch couldn’t get the river of blood on Y/N’s face out of his mind; he broke away from the photos of the victims and turned to Dave, “Her jaw is dislocated from hitting the ground, she goes with metal plates unable to speak for the next six weeks and will only eat liquid food. There’s a wire mark on her neck and I want to believe it won’t stay with her for the rest of her life.”
He blurted it out in the single breath, but never once called Y/N by name, “I know that, Aaron,” Rossi waited before continuing, “I also know that it might remind you of Kate–”
“She’s not Kate,” he cut him off.
“She is not,” Dave meets his gaze, “It was you who told me not to take this case personally this afternoon,” Rossi read it well — the fact that Hotchner's good friend died in his arms was still fresh, and the possibility of it happening again with Y/N was too much.
“What did he say?” back again, professional and collected, he wants to know.
“That he liked her, that she looked like his girlfriend, that’s all,” Rossi admitted after all, “Aaron, Y/N’s a strong agent, she hurt him just as much.”
“Could that even be enough?” at times he was overcome with rage toward all the scumbags they were dealing with — he know about that part of himself, but the rage had a tendency to escalate into something more when it affected his team, and felt so personal.
Hotch let Dave take a couple of steps toward the door before he stopped him, there was one single doubt about what had happened, beyond what he had no control over, there was something he could change.
“Rossi, Gideon once told me that I was doing wrong by always keeping Y/N out of the field,” Aaron said, “that as a mentor I should have stopped holding her long ago.” His frown didn't translate all the confidence in Gideon's comment, and that's why he needed an outsider's perspective.
Dave exhaled heavily, he really was sorry, at the realization that Hotchners post carries so much responsibility for people you already consider family, “As I remember, when Y/N first joined you, she didn't need to have field agent skills, right?” no answer was required, Rossi already knew about that, “You may not agree, but I think Jason is the one who should have taken care of this issue. If we're talking about a mentor.” Hotch remained in a waiting silence, and Dave went on, “I’ll explain only by asking, because maybe my eyes are failing me, but isn't Y/N your partner whenever we got a case?”
It wasn't something Aaron would normally think about, but it was true, “I suppose, yes, she is.”
“Then make this decision as her partner. If you think she could do more than she did, then send her to retraining,” he added in the end, “only after you discuss it with her.”
Aaron nodded briefly in response. What else could he say that hadn't been said before?
His silent panic, which had enveloped him at home, this evening turned into silent despair at the service. Now he was, once again, left alone struggling against himself with the necessity of going to family, and the inability to put all the emotions down. Ultimately, he knew in advance that he ended up staying at the hospital, with Y/N, because of an equally overwhelming need to be there, too.
