Have you ever wanted to watch the most abysmal recordings of a musical you'll ever see?
No?
Well too bad! Recently posted (as in, last year and I just didn't notice) were two archival videos of the original 1989 performance and an additional West End recording from 1994. Both of which look like they've gone through several instances of generation loss.
This is the 1989 version. Fair warning, the audio is abysmal and it shouldn't be watched at a high volume.
And this? Ohoho this is one of the worst recordings of anything I've ever seen. Analogue horror makers WISH they could get this level of bad tape. Major flash warning for literally the first few seconds. It's honestly very creepy, would make a good ARG, tbh.
If you dare to watch these in their entirety, please tell me how it goes. I could not physically continue after a few minutes of trying. God bless the American Musical Theater Archives for... Trying, I guess.
Maybe it's just because she started her life as a character as a backstory element, but Coa's current story is. Pretty boring. Or not boring but Uneventful. It's basically just Ancient The Office. Workplace Drama. Maybe if I export her out of Rain World that'll change but I also love the idea of a comic that's just her and Pew endlessly sniping at each other while welding.
- I will try my best to get a full recording of it. I don't want to risk being kicked out, though, and I have a tremor so holding a phone would be extremely difficult for long periods of time so I'd have to figure out some way to do it.
- If any of you guys want merch from it, feel free to tell me. I'll figure out how much I need to get from that, and then only after the show will I find ways to get it to you. I don't want to just ask for addresses, especially if I can't guarantee that you'll get anything.
- I will be liveblogging as much as I can about this, keeping you guys informed on what the casting is like, the sets, the venue, etc.
- this is, according to my mom (who has frequented this theatre), a Broadway-level production. Which means that there may be a chance that City of Angels is coming back to Broadway. If I get any news about this you bet your ass I'm telling y'all.
That's all I have to say for now, but stay tuned for updates, especially as the performance date gets closer. I hate to feel like I'm gatekeeping the performance but I also don't want to doxx myself. If you are able to find the performance yourself and can go, please let me know! I'd love to meet up (even though I don't really know you guys that well, I just think it would be neat).
With all that said, I hope you guys have a wonderful day!
I love City of Angels (1989), but GOD do I hate the rhymes in You're Nothing Without Me
Let's break down the song, shall we?
The rhyme scheme is simple, ABAB, easy enough to follow. Indulge me for a moment and cast aside any thought of plot relevance for the atrocious lyrical choices, and look at it from the perspective of an outsider listening to the song for the first time.
You are some gumshoe
You just don't think well
Off to a great start! Establishing the first words we'll pair. Let's move onto the next lyrics.
Get this, dumb gumshoe
You come from my inkwell
Ah. You see when happened? We've rhymed "gumshoe" with "gumshoe" and "think well" with "ink well". Not the most creative of choices, though I'll lend credence to the B section for being at least a little original.
Is your mouth lonely
With one foot in there
Looking good so far, I like the reference to "putting your foot in your mouth" to Stone, it's a smart comment!
Stone, your brain only
Holds thoughts I put in there
No, no. We do not rhyme "in there" with "in there". That's not how it works! At least "lonely" and "only" are different enough. Next line.
Just what you are, I'll spell out
You are a novel pain
Okay... getting better now. Nice wordplay with "spell out" and "novel". I appreciate the wit.
One speck of lint that fell out
The last time that I picked my brain
Alright, I'll concede that the B rhyme was okay this time, but "spell out" and "fell out"? Come on, guys.
You are so jealous
Of my track record
We hear from Stone now, with a little heat spitting back. Will he salvage the abhorrent rhymes Stine plagued us with?
Tolstoy do tell us
Your feeble hack record
Nope. I'll admit the A rhyme is great, but once again rhyming a word with itself. If the song wasn't so catchy I'd be fuming.
Your weak-knees brand you
Soft and unstable
One small threat and you
Fold like a card table
We've rhymed "you" with "you". We need to stop stacking words!
You drool at my adventures
Your broads in bed are bored
Go home and soak your dentures
Your pen is no match for my sword!
Finally! Something original! I have to admit, Stone is a better rhymer than Stine is.
We'll skip over the chorus, there's nothing contradictory there and the lyrics are quite smart. No complaints.
You're in my plot
I'm still your creator
I call each shot
I'm your private dic-tator
Woah! Stine clapping back with actual rhymes this time! Will it last? Also, I love the triple entendre for "dictator" as someone who both rules with an iron fist, and someone who "dictates" what Stone does. It's also a subtle jab at Stone being a "private dick", or private investigator. Coincidentally, investigator also rhymes with creator.
You are so thick, you
Eat, breathe, sleep fiction
I'm your meal ticket
Knee-deep in cheap fiction
It didn't last. Rhyming "thick, you" with "ticket"? Insane choice. I'm not even going to touch on the stacked words again. Also, I must mention, this is how the lyrics are written in the actual scriptbook released after the musical closed. If "thick, you" is a line break error, it's not on me.
You gloating ignoramus
You haven't any shame
A good jab at Stone, how will he respond.
Hey, I'm a famous shamus
And most people don't know your name
No, that blue isn't a mistake. I do think it's clever to fit in a subtle B rhyme in with the A rhyme, but "famous shamus"? Really? I don't think Stone's that famous. (Shamus is an old word for detective, along with dick, gumshoe, and others)
Now, we've covered the main problem lyrics, as the choruses don't have any bad choices in them. My main issue with this song is the repetitive nature of some of the lyrics. Rhyming "fiction" with "fiction" was the first offense I noticed, and my annoyance quickly spiraled from there.
Now, you might be asking. "Twist, can you really do better?"
Well, let's try.
You are some gumshoe
You just don't think well
Every one breakthrough
Foes walk on thin eggshells
Is your mouth lonely
With one foot in there
Stone your brain only
Holds thoughts that are thin air
Just what you are I'll spell out
You are a novel pain
One failing college dropout
Who deals in shady and profane
You are so jealous
Of my track record
Tolstoy do tell us
Your past isn't checkered
Your weak-knees brand you
Soft and unstable
One small script review
Spins you a turntable
You drool at my adventures
Your broads in bed are bored
Go home and soak your dentures
Your pen is no match for my sword
You're nothing without me
A no one who'd go undefined
You wouldn't exist
You'd never be missed
I tell you you're out of my mind!
A show off, a blowhard
You're equal parts hot and gall
And no one would doubt me
Without me you're nothing at all
You're in my plot
I'm still your creator
I call each shot
I'm your private dic-tator
You are so thick
You eat, breathe, sleep fiction
You make me seasick
With revising addiction
You gloating ignoramus
You haven't any shame
Hey, I'm a decent shamus
And most people don't know your name
You're nothing without me
Without me you'd just dissapear
Right into thin air, and no one would care
Or notice you ever were here
A puppet, an upstart!
A loser who's destined to fall!
I'm everything you've always wanted to be,
Let's deal with the issue: you wish you were me
You're nothing without me
Without me you're nothing at all!
I hope I captured the essence of the original song well with my 'revisions' lol. I don't really have anything against YNWM or David Zippel, I just thought this would be a fun exercise. Enjoy never being able to listen to the song the same again!
Part four of pictures I took of my City of Angels (1989) scriptbook!
The last of the black and white pictures!
[Image ID: three black and white photographs from the City of Angels opening show. The first is of Kay McClellan as Gabby standing over Gregg Edelman as Stine sitting in a chair during the song "It Needs Work". The second is of James Naughton as Stone standing next to Kay McClelland as Bobbi during the song "With Every Breath I Take (Reprise)". The third and final image is of the whole cast during the finale of the show, with Stone, Stine, and Gabby on a platform above the rest of the cast, who are gesturing with their hands towards them, during the last note of "Without You I'm Nothing". /end ID]
Some costume designs by Florence Klotz!
[Image ID: Six pictures of twelve pen and watercolor drawings of the costumes for the characters in City of Angels. The first image is of Stine and Stone's designs, Stine's being a checkered jacket and fedora paired with a white shirt and black tie and pants; Stone's being a classic Noir detective's outfit. The second image is of Gabby and Bobbi, Gabby in a smart dress and Bobbi in a flirty one, leaning against a bartop. The third is of Alaura and Carla, Alaura in her elaborate fur coat and Carla in a revealing jumpsuit. The fourth is of an unnamed pimp and Irwin S. Irving, the pimp wearing a traditional pimp suit and Irving wearing a tacky striped suit jacket and striped boxer shorts. The fifth is of Oolie and Donna, Oolie in a polka-dot business dress and black beret, and Donna wearing a pleated skirt and short trenchcoat. The final image is of Margie's girls a Avril Raines, the girls in traditional prostitute lingerie and Avril wearing a polka-dot backless dress. /end ID]
Final image! A color photo of that finale scene.
[Image ID: same picture as the third one in the first image set in this post, only in color. /end ID]
