Danarius' notes from each session of Eat Your Young
Month one:
Signs of anxiety, as expected.
Generalized exhaustion
Burning sensation tied to markings
Fog of the mind
Physical tension, described a feeling of being squeezed
Stiffness in joints. Expected, after the intensive nature of the ritual
Supplemental notes.
Train bodily awareness
He must disconnect himself from his pain if he is to be of any use.
Month two:
Distant
Discombobulated
Still in pain
Joints still stiff
Anxious
Lyrium-induced hallucinations — Mild
Limited vocabulary. Reminder to teach eloquence. He must stand out from other slaves.
Fears disobedience. Good progress
Supplemental notes
Awareness is becoming easier for him.
He learns very quickly, considering he was born a slave.
This is excellent progress.
Month three:
Catching on to the pattern of our monthly assessments.
Limited knowledge on weeks and months.
Consistent pain caused by the markings
Noted nausea — Clarified; Disgust
The markings seem to glow at random. Clarify this response.
Supplemental notes
Fenris shows a profound sense of curiosity. This must be quelled as quickly as possible.
Occasionally I forget how young he is. His age has been very useful in his training.
Incredibly adaptable.
Disappointing that Fenris reacted so intensely to my lucrative agreement to loan him to others. Correct this behavior, as it will make such endeavors far more difficult.
All in all, this is going quite well.
He is quite a handsome young man. A beautiful specimen.
Interim notes:
Fenris has shown an incredible capability for brutality, when he focuses. He can be quite vicious in his training, though he occasionally hesitates when given an actual mark.
Aptitude for disassociating himself from his actions. This is quite promising, but requires refining.
The first of the sleep deprivation trials has gone well so far, though he will have to learn to fight against hallucinations. It is disappointing, but I suppose I should have expected them to be intensified by the lyrium.
Month four:
Shows a general dislike for Hadriana. Understandable.
Bodily awareness has improved, but still needs work.
Continues to hesitate against those I actually ask him to kill. Disappointing. Correct this.
Fenris has been ordered to stop completely in battle when I, a guard, or the instructor calls 'Heel'
Supplemental notes
Fenris shows quite a lot of terror at the idea of disobeying me, or generally displeasing me. He relies almost entirely on me alone.
This is going quite well.
Month five:
Fenris has become more comfortable with our monthly meetings.
Shows difficulty putting his thoughts to words.
Fascination with the plants and flowers in the garden
He is having some difficulty reigning in his thoughts; Regularly caught up in his head.
The burn given with such audacity by Magister Ardoris' sister is healing well
Still shows difficulty in pleasing my guests. Supplementary lessons may be required once more or more often.
Touch from others causes increased burning sensations from the markings
The markings have a range of pain. Create a pain scale to track this on any given day.
He's awfully dramatic.
Supplemental notes
There's that curiosity again. I really must do something about this. Any information he requires should be at my behest, not of his own will.
His voice seems to have healed as much as it ever will. Unfortunate, it occasionally grates on my ears.
Interim notes:
The text on this particular page is written in an angry, frustrated, nearly frantic hand.
Fenris has been in the infirmary for the better part of a week, due to his contemptible and unprompted actions. Eight of my servants dead, including the instructor.
I will get to the bottom of this outburst. If he thinks he won't be punished, he is sorely mistaken. Although, it may be difficult to think of anything while under such heavy spells.
Foolish, selfish boy.
I'll have to come up with a suitable punishment.
Month six:
Fenris must be feeling a sense of audacity, today.
Surprising awareness of the magic in his mind keeping him awake
Decent bodily awareness despite his injuries. Could be better. Correct this.
On a promising note: He does seem to find some pleasure in killing. It needs to be redirected toward those I actually tell him to kill.
Expresses a sense of guilt for taking pleasure in it. Encouraging.
Shows understanding of previous training; that being call and response. Self-humiliation seems to be going well.
Supplemental notes
All in all this has been a very frustrating month. Five steps forward, two steps back. I must sort out this insubordination.
My subordinates are not as skilled with punishment, he regularly shows less fear if they are the ones dealing him damage. This is good in some way, showing reliance and abject horror for my particular reprimands.
Logging onto Tungle.hell to ramble about Danarius in the year of our lord 2024.
Sensitive subjects ahead!
Still here? Okay.
I gotta talk about the AUDACITY of Danarius.
This man gave Some Random Elf immense, untapped power.
How did he expect to be able to control him forever?
Simple! Break him!
He's obviously had other slaves, and we can glean that he's a sadistic motherfucker, so I doubt he's a stranger to controlling through fear and pain. So he took this kid, fucking ripped him apart, and went "Yep, that'll stop him from betraying me!"
Except that he taught Fenris how to fight, and he taught Fenris how to fight REALLY WELL. In fact, he basically made a fucking perrepatae with lyrium powers.
Personally, I think Fenris would've escaped eventually, even without the Fog Warriors. Something else would have gotten between he and Danarius, something would have clicked. You don't just teach someone strategy and survival skills and expect them never to go "Actually, this sucks, bye!"
Except that Danarius did expect Fenris to stay. He also expects fucking everyone to bow down to his whims, even some random fucking Doglord (endearing) in Kirkwall!
I am 100% confident that Danarius had never expected Fenris to leave of his own free will. He probably thought he'd smashed every ounce of free will Fenris had. Because he's a privileged dickhead who thinks he can get away with anything with enough money and/or magic.
So this motherfucker took one look at Fenris tearing someone apart with his hands and went "Yeah, this'll go well for me."
The reality is that control like that is so easy to break if the person is given a better option. The fact that Fenris was able to see a life without Danarius after being separated in Seheron is indicative of that imo.
But, even when faced with a Hawke who is obviously on Fenris' side, he STILL THINKS HE CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT. No matter how nice you play Hawke, Danarius will still be like "You sure you don't want to betray your friend and sell him into slavery? I have money!"
As if Hawke gives a fucking shit about this piece of trash who abused their friend for so god damn long.
Danarius' plan was doomed from the start, because he taught him intelligence, even if he couldn't read. There's also something to be said for Fenris' intelligence, honestly, but that's for another post.
