#coffeechaos

[redstatic5]

BREAKFAST TURNED HELL INTO A WAR ZONE (WITHOUT BLOOD OR FIRE)

Chaos? Check. Tension? Maxed out. Coffee spills? Intentional.

Char x Alastor: breakfast edition.

Micro-flirtation. Power plays. One very smug spider.

If you think you read this and nothing happened… go back. You missed everything.

Hazbin Hotel AU | Slow-burn | Enemies → Obsession

Static and Fire - 16. Breakfast Was a Mistake

Read 16. Breakfast Was a Mistake from the story Static and Fire by Redstatic5 (Redstatic) with 4 reads. morallygray, sl...

[blueeebirdd]

Wonderful ways to kick off a productive day

1. Bless your work laptop with an unexpected coffee bath.

[iwasjusttryingtohavecoffee]

PRAVDA CHODÍ V RUŽOVÝCH ŠATÁCH

Len som si chcela vypiť svoju bezlaktózovú kávu s príchuťou existenciálneho chaosu. Ako vyrovnaná mladá žena, ktorá netrpí spánkovou depriváciou. Moja duša diskutuje pravdepodobne o existencii tmy na konci tunela, alebo o rýchlosti nástupu účinkov analgetik.

Pri vedľajšom stole sedí hlúčik mladých mužov, ale ja ich sústredene ignorujem, lebo veď som neprišla flirtovať, len existovať ako dôstojná ľudská bytosť.

Ale moje úvahy prerušuje moja trojročná dcéra, s momentálnou slovnou zásobou kengury, ktorá má s vesmírom zjavne podpísané iné zmluvy. Nastúpila na scénu ako bohyňa pravdy, nekompromisná entita bez súcitu a filtra. Postaví sa ako Hamlet na javisko, nastaví hlasitosť na level lodnej trúby Titanicu, a ako prorok universa, pred celou terasou, mestom, galaxiou aj všetkými bohmi podá prehlásenie:

"MAMA MÁ VEĽKÉ CICKY!"

Čas prestal lineárne plynúť, vtáky sa zastavili uprostred srania na kapoty auta, vzduch sa zaplnil mikročasticami hanby.

Mladí muži dvíhajú hlavy ako surikaty na prérii, skenujú terén, vizuálne potvrdzujú nepopierateľnú pravdu: "Deti vedia!"

A ja... Tváriac sa ako egyptská sfinga sa vnútorne rozkladám ako origami.

Katrinka, spokojná so svojím výkonom a imaginárnym oscarom v rukách, elegantne kráča preč – správa doručená. Bez cenzúry, bez hanby.

Misia splnená – teraz to už vedia všetci.

---

English version:

Truth walks around in a pink dress

I just wanted to drink my lactose-free coffee with a hint of existential chaos. Like a composed young woman who is not suffering from sleep deprivation. My soul is probably discussing the existence of darkness at the end of the tunnel, or the speed of onset of painkillers.

At the next table, a group of young men is sitting, but I am intensely ignoring them, because obviously I didn’t come here to flirt, just to exist as a dignified human being.

But my thoughts are interrupted by my three-year-old daughter, with the current vocabulary of a kangaroo, who has clearly signed different contracts with the universe. She enters the scene like a goddess of truth, an uncompromising entity without mercy or filter. She positions herself like Hamlet on a stage, sets her voice to the level of the Titanic’s foghorn, and as a prophet of the universe, she delivers a statement to the entire terrace, city, galaxy and all the gods:

“MOMMY HAS BIG BOOBIES!”

Time stopped flowing linearly, birds froze mid-shit above car roofs, the air filled with micro-particles of shame.

The young men raise their heads like meerkats on a prairie, scan the terrain, and visually confirm the undeniable truth: "Kids know!"

And I… Looking like an Egyptian sphinx, I internally fold like origami.

Katrinka, satisfied with her performance and imaginary Oscar in hand, elegantly walks away – message delivered. No censorship. No shame.

Mission accomplished – now everyone knows.

[shimmychic-blog-blog]

You guys know I love @grenadesgum and #coffee. This is a dream come true (: #coffeeChaos #gum #grenadesgum #blastfactor8

[msshannon-journey]

I’m so excited, the following #leggings arrive from my pre-order! If you missed ordering, there are still some available under Ready to Ship from my website 👇🏻 www.EllaTina.com/#MsShannons #LemonSqueeze #TurtleBay #CoffeeChaos #AnchorsAweigh #workout #lounge #adventures #hiking #comfy

[mikem1008]

It's a Crimson Cup kinda day :) #coffeechaos #crimsoncup (at The Martins)

[friendsofourshoxton]

Good luck to @benpelhan as he starts his coffee challenge - 12 coffees in 9 hours - #coffeechaos @dripapp (at Friends of Ours)