Solace
❁ Bff!Wonho x reader ❁ college!au ❁ roommate!au
❁ Fluff ❁ comfort ❁ 3k ❁
❁ This is something that I wrote back in summer, something I needed at the time~ I hope it’s something you can enjoy too~
❁ I guess it’s a part of this Bff!Wonho AU me n @kokojacks talk about waaay too often :’) and that I still need to write :’) But it’s an AU that means so much to me~ :’)
The bedroom door cracks open, startling Hoseok from his sleep. The soft padding of feet against the hardwood breaks the silence of the dark room, the sound getting closer and closer.
Hoseok sits up in his bed, eyes tired and half open, squinting in the dark to focus on his unexpected visitor.
He spots you at the end of his bed, blanket in your arms and hair all messed up. It takes Hoseok a couple of seconds, squinting his eyes and trying to get rid of the sleep that still clung to him. It's only once he does so that he starts noticing the upset look on your face. His brain starts flashing red, yelling at him that you had never come over at this time of night, no matter how big the issue is; and his first instinct is to throw off his covers and jump out of the bed.
But you're faster than him, slumping down on the bed with significant force and pulling your blanket over your body. Hoseok remains startled for a second, eyes carefully watching your back, your body quietly remaining at the very edge of the bed. Hesitance and worry cloud his mind, his hand raising and falling a couple of times. And Hoseok almost turns back to sleep himself, thinking that maybe letting you be would be a better choice.
But then you pull the warm blanket closer to your body, bringing your legs up to curl into a ball. And Hoseok’s chest tightens with worry, making his body act faster than his brain. He carefully scoots closer, lifting himself on his elbow to peek at your hidden face. His hand lands on your arm, warm and comforting, followed by a mere whisper of his voice, almost as if he's worried that anything louder would startle you; “You ok there, bug?”
The silence lingers for a few minutes, but Hoseok doesn't push any further, only offering the comforting warmth and caresses of his hand. Your head finally gives a slight nod, voice small “Yeah~”
The words are mumbled against the pillow, but they're still audible enough for Hoseok to pick up. An involuntary pout pulls at his face, and he leans in, resting his chin on your shoulder. “You sure? Wanna talk about it?”
“No~” You answer instantly, and Hoseok can hear your pout. Your face remains hidden away in the pillow, muffling your words, “Wanna sleep~”
There is some finality in your words that makes Hoseok bite his lip, lingering still for a few moments more, before he suffices for a kiss on your head with a whispered goodnight, and rolls back to his place.
Half an hour later, a long half hour of just tossing around in bed and dealing with the million worried thoughts running through his head, Hoseok turns his face to the side. You haven't moved from your spot from the minute you laid down, and it only makes Hoseok come to the conclusion that you're already fast asleep. That thought brings some relief to his system, and with that he turns around to rest on his side, closed eyes finally seeking some sleep.
But before he has a chance to, a tentative arm snakes in under his own and drapes over his waist. There's a moment of static silence. Hoseok holds his breath, trying to figure out if you were simply sleeping. Calling out your name brings no response, so he tries to carefully adjust in bed in order to turn his head around towards you.
“Don’t~” It comes out as a whine, followed by your other arm making its way to wrap around his waist. Feeling unsure, Hoseok remains frozen in place for a minute, but his body acts faster than his mind, making him attempt to turn his body.
Only, he doesn't manage to fully turn around, because your arms tighten and hold him in place, and he soon feels your face hide against his back. Another whine comes out, laced with a warning tone, “Hoseok~”
This time, Hoseok holds back and remains in place, despite the urge to face you and check up on you. Instead, he lets the palms of his hands rest against your own, a soothing thumb caressing the skin. “You’re making me worry, ____.”
Hoseok hears you sigh, body pressing closer to him. “I’m sorry.”
Silence lingers, but Hoseok’s warm hands remain patient on yours. And it tugs on your heartstrings, fills you up with guilt. Because you know you're being selfish and unfair, seeking his comfort but making him worry instead.
“I had a bad dream.” You confess in a whisper, and the words taste dumb and childish on your tongue, but it's the only explanation you could offer.
“Baby~” Hoseok mumbles, his own face pulled into a frown. His palms move in gentle movements, caressing the skin of your forearms before going down to hold your hands. With your arms caging him in, it's the only comfort he can offer. “Do you feel ok?”
There's a slight nod against his back, followed by your voice -sounding so small and sleepy- “Yeah, I just-” a sigh “Can we please just sleep like this?”
There wasn't a single universe where Hoseok could have denied your request, even when his mind still felt a little hesitant. So with a sigh, he hums in approval and then bids you a soft goodnight.
•
Hoseok almost lets that night slide, when the next morning you're awake early and munching on your breakfast cereal in front of the TV.
But then, on the ride to school, he barely hears you talk three times, and two out of those were one word responses.
In fact, you barely talk all day. But, you don't make a fuss when he asks for a hug before class (which is usually a must). You silently rest your head on his shoulder during lunch, simply listening to Minhyuk’s animated conversation with Kihyun.You hang around the kitchen that evening, and help around cooking dinner (it’s Hoseok’s turn, you should be either laughing at him from your seat on the couch, or hoping that your meal doesn't end up being 65% proteins and 35% ramen).
But when you abandon your room, and sit next to him on the couch while he's working on his assignment, Hoseok can't keep turning a blind eye to your obvious mood change. Your legs crossed in front of you, thigh slightly resting over Hoseok’s, his own legs resting on the table. And when you lean in to wrap your arms around his waist, cuddling into him from the side, red starts flashing in dangerous signs.
Hoseok closes his Laptop and discards it to the side, slightly turning to face you with a soft look. An arm goes around your shoulder, bringing you closer and making your head rest against his chest instead.
“What’s wrong? Come on, tell me.”
“Nothing.” You sigh, and it's truly the least convincing answer to ever be given. Hoseok sighs himself, bringing his other hand to lift your head up and make you look at him. His eyebrows are drawn together in a beaten up puppy look, and you can only hope that he doesn't feel the rapid beats of your heart or how it's fluttering in your chest.
“I’m just feeling tired.” You add in an attempt to mend it up, a small smile too. But it doesn't seem to make any change.
“Don’t give me that.” Hoseok warns, his hand moving to brush the strands of hair out of your face. The worried look remains on his face, his voice falling into a softer tone. “You seem off; you're too quiet, very touchy..”
The gentle tone of his voice doesn't stop them from hitting a weak spot, and it makes you break out of his arms instantly. Your ears burn a bright red, embarrassment filling you up and making you stutter out “F-fine!”
“Noo~” Hoseok whines, arms already reaching out to stop you from getting off the couch and pulling you back against him. Which proves to be a harder task with you trying to fight him off, grumbling his name in protest.
“I didn't mean it like that~” He resorts to fully pulling you against his chest, chin resting on your shoulder. That seemed to have an effect, because even when your arms remains folded between your bodies, you're not making any attempt against him. “I wasn't complaining about it. You’re just acting different. What’s wrong?”
There’s a silence that lingers a minute too long, but then you're pulling yourself out of his arms and staring at him with a serious, determined face.
“Do you hate me?”
One blink. Two blinks. Hoseok’s face morphs in shock, before he's laughing it out and pulling you back into his arms. “What?”
“I’m serious!” You insist, pulling back. Hoseok takes a second to inspect your face, started by how upset you look and how the nerves seem to be eating you up. “Do you.. Um.. Hate me? Like, do you feel like you have to endure me?”
His smile falters, chest tightening with worry. His mind is quick, going over the list of things that would make you think that, because the possibility that you might actually think that is frightening. Hoseok stutters, mouth feeling dry; “Wha- What would make you say that?”
Sniffling, your head bows down, avoiding his eyes. “I… I call you dumbass a lot,” You let out, serious as ever, and Hoseok knows better than to interrupt or call you silly. So he waits, watches you lift a hand up to frustratingly dry your cheeks, bottom lip involuntarily sticking out in a pout that makes him reciprocate it.
“I always tell you I hate you. I either never stop talking and babbling, or I don't say a word. I'm a pain in the ass when I'm in a bad mood.. You do so, so much for me, but all I do is burden you and make you worry..”
Your words separated by slight sniffles and quiet tears, hands nervously fiddling in your lap. They run freely out of your mouth, and you don't even manage to filter them or think them over. At last, your eyes lift up to meet his, and you almost wish you hadn't. Because the look on his face only makes it harder to speak your last words. “I just… I know that I need you more than you need me. And that's a heavy burden for yo-”
Hoseok doesn't let you finish, arms pulling you back into a warm hug, one that you gladly welcome. You let him wrap himself around you, making you melt against him soak in his warmth. A soft hand pats your head, whispers of “baby~” mumbled against your ear. Hoseok holds you so tight, as if he's trying to make you feel every beat of his heart and every bit of his feelings, as if he's trying to wordlessly ease your worry and show you the love he has for you. And that makes your heart swell, because you know you're being silly and unreasonable, he's your best friend. But that doesn't stop the whispers in the back of your mind, and the crippling fear that they might be true.
“Of course I don't hate you. I would never, no matter what. Okay, bug? Even if we get on each other's nerves, and even if you call me dumbass each day-”
“I already do,” You interrupt with a hiccup.
“Exactly,” Hoseok chuckles, taking his time to rock you back and forth, still buried in his arms.
A short silence follows, before Hoseok puts two and two together and asks; “Is this because of the nightmare?”
“Um… Kind of.” You shrug, not offering any further words. A comforting hand starts to rub your back, “Baby, that’s-”
“Don’t tell me it's silly~” You whine, dreading to hear those words from him.
“It’s not that.” Hoseok clarifies, his sigh tickling your ear, “Just- You should have told me sooner.”
You don't give much of a reply, simply nodding against his shirt.
“Wanna tell me about it?”
“Noooo~” you protest, “if I do, it’ll come true.”
Hoseok lets out a chuckle, and you can feel the vibrations of his chest; “babe, you can't believe in that~”
“I’m still not telling..” you grumble.
“Even if you do! There’s no way it could come true.” He argues, far too amused to make himself stop.
“Still not telling.”
Hoseok pulls you back at last, using the sleeve of his hoodie to wipe your cheeks. the smile on his face is so soft, so comforting, that you can't bring yourself to look away for a second. But then it hits you that you’ve just cried like a baby, and you can't help the self consciousness when Hoseok, looking like that, is seeing your state.
“Don’t~ my face is probably all puffy and gross.” You push his hand away, trying to lean back but his arm on your back keeps you in place.
“Yeah,” he agrees, voice whispering low, as if trying to preserve your little bubble. He allows himself a minute, just to look at your face and map it all in his memory. A fond smile stretches his lips, and there is no way Hoseok could have fought it off.
“You look like one of those fish that blow up and go all puffy.” He adds, voice still hushed.
“I don't~” You whine, but a giggle instantly follows. And Hoseok smiles, having accomplished his goal. “Yes, yes you do! What are they called again?”
A wide smile stretches your lips, pushing Hoseok’s hand away from your face. “Not telling.” You grumble, but it does nothing to hide your smile.
Hoseok’s hand reaches out again, playfully pinching your nose in between his fingers. “No,” he smiles, “You look cute. A cute baby~”
“I’m not a baby..” You grumble, turning your face away from him. The tips of your ears burn at his words, something weird bubbling in the pit of your stomach, so strong that you can no longer pretend that it's never there.
Hoseok stifles a laugh, finding far too much joy in your flustered reactions. And he can't deny himself the pleasure of pushing a little more, “Yes you are. You're my baby.”
Hoseok doesn't give you a chance to complain, both of his hands quickly holding up your face and squishing your (burning) cheeks.
“So, are we good?”
A nod.
“I love you~ alright?”
A nod, cheeks dusted in pink.
“No~ You say it~”
Forget burning up. Your body feels like it's been rolling in Satan's hell for 45 years straight. The beats of your heart are so loud in your ears, and you're sure that they're way past the normal rate.
“I. love you.” You mumble after a while through pouty, squished cheeks, your eyes avoiding Hoseok’s. It feels like the air is fighting against your attempts to fucking breath, and it might have something to do with the heavy meaning those words carry in your heart.
And if Hoseok noticed the pinkness coloring your cheeks, if he felt the skin warm up under his own; you're glad he didn't say a word about it.
“No~~, say it.” He demands again, pushing your head up again. And his smile is too sweet for someone who’s tormenting you this way.
“.. You love me?” You stutter out, and Hoseok finally looks pleased with your words, releasing your face to go pat your head instead. “That’s a good girl.”
And so, it seems like Shin Hoseok enjoys nothing more than to keep your heart beating at an alarming rate, almost as if he's actually trying to kill you. His arms pull you back into a hug, and you're thankful that your face gets to be hidden from him.
“You know?”
“hmm?” You hum, eyes still closed.
“I’m really enjoying your cuddly mood.”
You can hear the teasing smile on Hoseok’s face, and it brings back the flustered state just as you’ve gone back to normal. “ok, that's enough for you!”
“Noo~” Hoseok pulls you back, a bright laugh resonating in the room, “I’m sorry, I'm sorry. Just a lil bit more “
You allow him to keep you in place, his head resting against your shoulder. But barely after a minute of silence, he's speaking up again.
“You know?”
“Hmm?”
“They say friends are the family we choose..” He mumbles, voice falling into a serious tone, and before you can say anything, he carries on; “I’m glad you chose me.”
Your heart swells, tightens and pulls at your lungs, making your throat close and tears well up in your eyes. Because it's by far not what you had expected for him to say, and more than you would have wanted to hear. And you don't have to say anything back, because Hoseok just knows, when your arms tighten around him and a small sniffle breaks the silence of the room.
Hoseok lays back on the couch, consequently pulling you down with him. “So,” he sighs in content, “what do you say we stay like this all evening? Movies and take out?”
His offer makes you get up abruptly, eyebrows drawn together. “Hoseok!” You scold, “You have practice. And I just complained about feeling like you’re doing too much for me.” A pout is added at the end, in hopes of being a good convincing tool.
“I know~ But I want to! Plus, captain wouldn't mind” He adds with a smile.
But your face remains unamused, arms crossing over your chest. “Hoseok, Minjun hates you.”
“He doesn't!” he dismisses with a shake of his head, a hardly convincing laugh leaving his lips.
“Hoseok!”
“Ugh, fine.” Hoseok agrees with a pout, but he still remains laid back on the couch. He keeps his gaze on you for a few seconds, before he's opening his arms and inviting you in; “Just a little more.”
And There wasn't a single universe where you could have denied his request.