A short summary of the significance of “I’m Not That Girl” to Queer Interpretaions of Wicked.
[pertaining to the stage production bc i saw it yesterday]
When Glinda gives Elphie her flower hairclip, a reprise of “I’m Not That Girl” (which will be refered to as INTG for the rest of this post) is scored beneath the scene. It signifies the moment Glinda caused her to question if she really can be “That Girl”. The kind that is likeable and popular. But if you’ve listened to INTG it’s not about just being either of those things, but about how being likeable and popular would allow her to experience love.
INTG in its context in the play, is Elphie not feeling like she’s the kind of person Fiyero would fall in love with. She’s falling in love and seeing him choose someone else.
But what does that mean for the INTG melody at the end of popular?
INTG is about falling in love with someone you don’t think loves you back, and its worsened by the fact that you can see why they would choose them over you. First, Elphaba is confronted with feelings for someone she is supposed to hate. Next, she finds someone who she likes but is supposedly in love with the first person she had feelings for. INTG is also about the fear that she’s loosing the two people she loves most, to each other.
Which if that sounds familiar, it’s because its how Glinda ends up feeling during INTG reprise when Fiyero runs away with Elphaba. She loses the two people she loved most to each other, and she felt them slipping away from her quite early on. It’s the first time she has felt rejected. Given that the only person she had truely been understood by was Elphaba, she’s truely alone at the end of the show and is confronted by the fact that she is indeed not the girl she thought she would be which is further elaborated on in “Thank Goodness”.
INTG is solid proof that Glinda and Elphaba both experienced love and a want for commitment from one another which honestly supasses their love and wants from Fiyero (refer to that moment in defying gravity). All of which I would simply attribute to sapphic longing.
Bonus: scientific stuff where I just ramble about how all this informs my interpretations of the characters.
1. Elphaba is bisexual and Fiyero was just all around less complicated to end up with than Glinda given the specific circumstances of the story.
2. Fiyero is disaster bisexual who hides his pain with attention from others
3. Glinda may or may not be comphet lesbian at the beginning of the play. I could see a world where she reconciles with Fiyero and they have a polycule with Elphie but I don’t have enough info to say whether or not shes strictly lesbian or bi.