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@mycupofstars It sure is great to have a working fuckamaroo
Me: *pauses thoroughly*
Me: I'm sorry you are gonna have to walk me back here
Megan: A fuckamaroo! A zzt zzt?
Me: Man, there are so many things that go zzt zzt
Megan: *digging it out of her purse* A that! A phone...
Me: *groping equally hard for this*...brick? A fuckamaroo zzt zzt.
Megan: Yeah, it's good to have a working one
Me: It really is yeah glad you picked that up
Waka waka
Me: Check this out, I’m actually pretty good at Pac-Man 99.
@mycupofstars: You’ve always been good at video games. I’m glad you’re getting your gaming mojo back, I know it was rough for a while.
Me: Thank you! And thank you! I actually placed fourth last night, I think I might be able to win? I still have the C64 muscle memory.
Megan: I remember, it was super fun. (watches) You can eat the ghosts?
Me:
Me: Megan we both played this game
Megan: Yes
Me: Eating the ghosts is kind of the point yes
Megan: No the point is to get the fruit
Me: The fruit is score, it...does nothing. What did you do when you played?
Megan: I ran around eating fruit and dots until the ghosts caught me. How do you eat the ghosts?
Me: The Power Pellets.
Megan: The what?
Me: See the big blinky dots?
Megan: Where?
Me: There, the one I’m headed for.
Megan: Oh. I just called those fancy dots. Do they do something?
Me: Megan, did you ever manage to clear the board?
Megan: I had no idea that was possible, the ghosts always caught me first. Am I going on the internet?
Me: Yes. Can I explain about the cool proto-AI in the ghosts?
Megan: Yes. EAT THE FRUIT!
“are you watching Stranger Things?”
“Yeah dude, restarting it since I only just got in before Times”
“Can I join y”
“Also I gotta figure out if the Demogorgon is my thicc husband or beloved son because damn it is one or the other but I just can’t decide”
“Never mind and I’m bleaching the couch you dog nasty pervert”
“Does that mean son? Is it son? Not passing the Harkness—okay bye”
“reckon it depends on the specimen you lay your Samson’s gaze on in particular”
“oh yeah legit”
“So what’s this week?”
“Recovering, mainly. I feel like I haven’t had the chance to sit down since June.”
“Ahhh, Desert Bluffs”
“Yeah that’s on the agenda, writing that ordeal up, but first I’m gonna repopulate all of the mix CDs I made from 2000-2008.”
“In the same week? Is that like your procrastination go-to or--”
“were you born holding a clear plastic binder in one hand and a VHS converter in the other”
“Yes, it was very hard on my mother”
"Kinkshaming has gone too far. There's no thrill of the taboo anymore. How am I supposed to get off without the steamy terror of the thought police?"
"The future's a real tough tid for the humiliation fetishists, I take it."
"It's like no one's even bothering to look! Philistines."
>irl
*is SADDD* “What is it” “My new mouse got here and they forgot the receiver Fuck fuck FUCK I spent like an hour picking this thing out” “Box Store has a great returns policy” “They’re not gonna believe me, I opened it already How do you FORGET to put in the dongle” “Some dude at the factory asleep at the wheel” “But HOW I specifically bought online so I wouldn’t have to spend spoons getting out there and this model is only AVAILABLE online so” “they’ll give you a credit and you can go” (Third Thoughts: Are you ENTIRELY sure it’s not in there?) “Oh disregard that I suck cocks” “You found it?” “It was inside the mouse” “Well then” “Thank you for the reassurance, it helps a lot”
... ... ... >inside my head, later
”Wait isn’t that standard for wireless mice” “I wouldn’t know” “Say again” “I woulDN’t. KnOw.” “Is this your--” “YES, tHIs is mY FIRST. WIRELESS. mouse.” “Are you completely sure you’re a grown m--” “I AM THIRTY-THREE YEARS OLD BY BIRTH CERTIFICATE AND EIGHTY THOUSAND BY BIRTH RIGHT” “oh, acting f-fancy because YOU have a birth certificate~” “I KICKED YOU TWO OUT AND I CAN DO IT AGAIN” *ploink* “Not you Chessie”
My last two brain cells:
“Is there an achievement for the edible you thought was a dud hitting within thirty seconds of consuming a second one?”
“Achievement in what? Real life?”
“.
.
.
Fuck you though”
“I’ll get the lava lamp going.”
