What is it about this “holiday” that makes people feel the need to go all out? I can appreciate the desire to show that special someone how you feel about them, but why does it have to be on this specific day?
For as far back as I can remember I always wondered what it was about Valentine’s Day that didn’t sit right with me. Now before I get going, I don’t have my hate on for the holiday but I do hate the idea of forcing people to spend money on their loved one to show them how much they care.
While this holiday was designed to show appreciation for love and romance those who are single are often forgotten and many have turned this commercialized love day into something a little more depressing and bitter.
But why? Why do we have to celebrate something that should be celebrated every day?
For the past 19 Valentine’s Days that I have spent with my spouse I have always made it clear that I don’t want him to buy me things. For me love isn’t something that you can throw money at it is something you show someone every single day. While flowers and candy are a nice gesture, they’re not what love is about. Think about it, flowers die and chocolate makes you feel guilty, are these things you want to represent your love? Do you want to tell the person you care about through a carefully written card that someone else created? I didn’t think so.
We are stuck, once again, in a holiday hostage situation. We are held at the mercy of the retailers who bombard us with all the many ways we need to part with our money to show the person we love just how much we love them. This day was created to set people up to fail. If you only bring home chocolates and flowers while your friend’s partner bought her jewelry, you’re already feeling bitter or jealous. And why? Because the retailer chains tell us to. This is a holiday that no man could possibly every win. While many can go out and do all the things they think is right, in the end something will go wrong and feelings will get hurt.
So why do we do this to ourselves over and over again? Why do we have to dig deep into our wallets to throw money at an emotion that at times can be hard to capture into words?
While I was discussing this holiday with my spouse, he brought up an interesting point. What if this was a really good year for him? What if he had tucked away money and saved and planned and took me away on the most romantic vacation of my life to celebrate our love on this forced holiday? What if it was the most amazing experience I had ever had? Now what happens for every subsequent holiday after that? Maybe the following year money became tight again and he was only able to make me a card, would that take away from the importance of the holiday?
I know for me personally I love and appreciate the gesture more than the gift but what about how it makes him feel? He managed to outdo himself last year only to feel bad about the fact he could only get me a small thing this year. How is that fair?
Once again this comes down to an industry who thrives on the money we spend telling us what to do. As soon as Christmas is over, retailers are already pulling out the cheesy giant hearts and telling us that we should start gearing up for the next big holiday. This is insane considering so many of us are still trying to pay off the last frigging holiday!
It’s one thing after another with these retailers.
I know when I went to a local craft store just after New Years to purchase some new yarn for a project I was working on, that they had already had their Valentine’s displays out AND their St Patrick’s Day stuff too, as well as Easter! What the hell? Just another visual representation of all the things still coming up that I have yet to plan for when all I wanted to do was nab a few more balls of yarn!
We have to stop feeding into what these companies are telling us to do. I understand that the money we put into their stores help to fuel our economy and blah blah blah but come on, do I really need to spend nearly ten dollars on a card that my spouse is going to toss away when this holiday is over? Even if he was going to keep the silly thing, now I have to invest money into storage bins to store the freaking thing.
So with my entire rant aside, here is what I propose, put your wallet away and show the person you love how much you love them every single day. You don’t need to waste money on flowers, candy or fancy dinners when at the end of the day all your partner really wants is you and your time.
And for those who are celebrating this commercialized holiday alone, please don’t beat yourself up over it. You don’t need another person to tell you how amazing you are and honestly if you wish someone would buy you something on this forced holiday, then go out and buy yourself something. Get exactly what you want and treat yourself to an amazing night because you deserve it, whether you have someone in your life or not.
Love is not about throwing money at things you’re told you need to buy. It isn’t about cheesy cards and romantic gifts. It is about two people who have chosen to be together. Whether that is a couple who is married, engaged, dating, whatever, or someone who has chosen to adopt a pet who needed a loving home, love comes in many different forms and none of them has anything to do with how much you spent.
Love should be celebrated, regardless of how conventional or unconventional it is.
