closed starter @compulsive-virtuoso
powder doesn’t realise they’re done until the room falls quiet. she glances up and her worst fears are confirmed. she winces. three sets of eyes -— all on her, all anger and bitter resignation even violet. she looks away again, squeezing her eyes shut. ‘ i’m sorry, ’ but her words are smoke. she says them, they hang in the air for a moment, and then they just ... disappear. nobody cares if she’s sorry, ‘cause sorry isn’t gonna fix all the mistakes she’s made. it’s lame. it’s all she has. two words and nothing else to show for herself; i’m sorry. as usual.
‘ right. we’ve heard that before. ’
an argument breaks out around her and she groans, slamming her hands over her ears to drown out the noise. it’s too much. it isn’t 𝘍𝘈𝘐𝘙. she needs to get out of here. she says she’s going, mumbles it more like, then legs it up the stairs before anyone can stop her. they’re gonna talk about her anyways -— gonna talk about how she messes everything up and causes nothing but problems. she doesn’t need to hang around and listen. she doesn’t know where she’s going, but that doesn’t matter. that’s the 𝘓𝘌𝘈𝘚𝘛 of her problems.
𝗦𝗧𝗨𝗣𝗜𝗗. stupid, stupid, stupid. what’s wrong with you, huh? you dummy. what’s your problem? she’s been walking for a good while before she stops, turning into an alley and resting her heaving shoulders against the wall. she kicks blindly. assorted junk and spare parts go skittering across the stone floor and for the briefest moment, she’s satisfied. she stands in the resulting quiet, hands pushed into the pockets of her shorts and lip sticking out in a cracked, bloody pout.
then, the anger creeps back in. it always does.
she starts to tremble. she feels like she’s going to scream -— to scream so long and hard it breaks her open. there’s enough 𝗥𝗔𝗚𝗘 inside her to bring down the whole damn undercity. for a moment, she’s sure of it. for a moment, she wants to. she balls her hands up into fists and slams them against the nearest wall, punching wildly and sobbing and shrieking until her knuckles bruise. only then does she realise that someone is standing at the foot of the alley, watching her. she steps back, sniffles, and brushes the tears from her cheeks.
‘ ... what do you want? ’