Sometimes my mind is driving me insane.
This is why I shouldn't be alone.
But I prefer being alone, fairly often.
It's just that sometimes ppl suck. They do.
You can't really trust them. Most ppl will end up messing up a simple task, that you could have done yourself.
Most of the time I prefer doing things on my own, unless I really need help, I won't ask for assistance.
I really hate it when ppl tell they dk how to do a simple task, I teach them & nope they don't listen nor learn. *cough cough mum! Your phone is in chinese & I taught you how to use the phonebook over & over again, ma y u no learn?
But still gotta love her. She's my mum<3.
Ppl & time, I notice the more I hang out with ppl that don't have a sense of time, I slowly mimic them. Due to the fact that deep down I know that he/she will be late so I don't even want to obligated my end & I end up procrastinating my dress up time & junk.
I mean if you're not going to be there in time, then why should I? Fair enough right?
It's okay that you're going to be late, but don't make it a constant thing. I dislike standing awkwardly in public waiting for you.
When ppl rely on you for everything, dude leave me the fuck alone. Dude you're not the only one that has to go through this. My parents came to America, & survived speaking rarely any english. You'll do fine. & what's up with doing your own task yourself? I hate your bank, I stood in line for 30 minutes with 2 tellers just to deposit money.
You know how it takes me to deposit money? 5 minutes.
What's up with ppl walking out of your life, & coming back once you're happy? You walked out when I needed you the most. & I honestly don't want you to be a part of my future life.
Sorry bro, I don't roll that way.
Most ppl are nosy about your life. It's just like you don't need to know everyone in my life, you don't have to befriend my friends. Stop questioning my past, it's the past for a reason. I let go of my past. You should stop trying to dig it back up.
If you're not going to consider my opinion, don't ask me in the first place. Stop looking for approval & just do what you want to do. You already have the answer in your mind already, go for it! Forget the rest.
I really hate being the Asian American generation. Ppl and by ppl I mean families member look for your for every single question. Every freaken piece of english paper, majority of it is spam mail. & you wonder why I hate spam mail. It's just like y u no ask your daughter/ son? Y u no trust them? Being Asian American just further reminds me that China is taking over. Just saying population-wise. I take care of numerous families.... so that's a lot of translating. I hate it. I just like to be left alone. Guess how many computers I have to format & install? Guess who's the 24/7 tech support? Guess who's a walking translator? Guess who's a walking encyclopedia? & they expect you to know everything & once you dk one stupid little irrelevant to whatever you're learning in school, you're classified as a dumbfuck. Well thanks that's a great confident booster.
I hate commercials that kick you in the soul & back out to your heart. I know the world suck okay! Ppl suck! I know ppl are suffering out there, I try to be a good person. I know the world is slowly dying, I recycle everything I can, I make an effort to. I know ppl are starving out there. I attempt to finish my food but gee sorry for having a small stomach. Fuck you coca cola company y u have so much products for? I was so bummed out that Vitamin Water is a part of the coca cola company. That's it, all I'm drinking from now on is water. What, are you going to say something about water? How precious it is? I know, okay, I know. You're targeting the wrong audience, I do what I can.
I brought a filter bottle to put water in, instead of water bottles.
It's like you can't even enjoy life without someone criticizing it.
I would do so many things if I did not have my family as a baggage. I love them but sometimes I wonder if they're worth ruining my future for? My parents aren't willing to pay for my college tuition, nor do I want them to. But geez you can't even comfort me by telling me you'll help me out. Other parents help out their children. My parent? It's just on me. & I hate how they say oh just get a scholarship. Yeah on what? Because I take good care of my family? Yeah sure they give that one out.
Sometimes I just wonder do they even care about me? I put my education on the line far too many times & yet it seems like every time I choose them over education they want more. Dude I told you countless times that I have a exam coming up but no you're a selfish prick. You play with my guilty conscious & you know you'll win.
I'm just really tired. I really do want to study aboard & dorm & have that college experience. But I can't I gotta take care of my family that extends back to China, literally.
This isn't suppose to be a responsibility for a 20 year old. If I don't take care of them, who else will? Trust me ppl, push shit on me, I don't even want this shit. My brother brought my papa an iphone & I have to teach him how to use it & junk. I become frustrated at stupid mistakes ppl make. It's like dad one you press this! & he ask me every night why isn't the weather showing up! Cheeses! I told him it's because at his work place there's no wifi, nor does he have a data plan. What else don't you understand about this?
& when ppl come to you for stuff. Can't you see that I'm a broke college student? I haven't even gone out to a party for a while. I rather save that money for textbooks. I even rejected a vacation just to save that few hundred bucks. I really need a vacation. It's as if no one wants to do their part & just push it on someone. It sucks being that someone.
This is why I shouldn't be alone, I think too much, it's driving me nuts. & this is why ppl suck.
