#confusing guy

[chakytron]

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[heyitsbeca]

I wish I could understand him. He is by far the most confusing person in my life. I hate that. I wish it were easy to just walk away... but how do you walk away from your bestfriend? 

Last night he invited, more like insisted, that I come to the bar to hang out with him, Tyler and Victoria to cut down on the awkwardness. I go, and when I get there he says nothing to me I spend the majority of the night talking to Tyler, Nate and Moses while he's off doing whatever with Victoria and Alecia. The first time he even said anything really to me was when he asked if I'd follow him to drop Victoria off. I did, but I was annoyed with the whole situation, I mean how can you invite someone somewhere and not even acknowledge their presence until you need a favor? Anyway... we got back to the bar and everyone was getting ready to leave, at 10:30 (I guess we're growing up? haha) but he decides he wants us to get food and "talk." We do. I tell him how I thought what he did was rude and he apologized and then talks about how he couldn't stand to lose me. Whatever.

I've also come to the conclusion through our "break up" that he is one of those guys who doesn't want/doesn't know if he wants to be with you but sure as hell doesn't want you with anyone else. So freaking annoying, I hate that I like him.

[c0ffee--eyes]

I just don't get you.

you are the biggest sweetheart. You always have been. To me, you're the perfect guy. You talk about marrying me, you compliment me constantly, and when we're together, you show in every aspect that you want to be there. You take care of me when I'm sick, you hold my hand when I'm sad, you kiss my forehead when I'm tired. and I love that. Even when I text you, you say all the right things. you've been there for me throughout the past six months. and you actually have begun to grow on me.

but what happens when we don't talk? nothing. It's like we barely exist.

I just have a weird feeling all you want from me is sex. But how can you blame me? All this relationship seems to be is physical. and I never thought you to be that guy.

Could you please just prove me wrong?