Oct 5, 2019
seen from Russia
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Denmark
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Czechia
seen from Singapore
seen from China
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from China
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 10/30 Fandom: Chicago Med Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Connor Rhodes/Monique Lawson Characters: Connor Rhodes, Monique Lawson Additional Tags: Drabbles, Fluff, Light-Hearted Summary:
Share with me the sun, You forget sometimes it's yours.
79. “I don’t care what anyone else thinks.” Conique
“I want to tell people about us.”
The words were out of Monique’s mouth before she could stop them. She’d been thinking about this for months now, always too scared to actually say the words for fear she’d scare him off. This was no different. The words had simply slipped out instead of staying in her head, and fear gripped her heart as Connor froze beside her, heart pounding beneath her hand.
“We talked about this,” he said quietly, turning his head to look at her.
“I know,” she said quickly, ignoring the way the soft, sad understanding in his eyes made her want to backtrack. “But not recently.”
“Nothing’s changed.”
“Loads has changed,” she insisted, sitting up, hand still on his chest like she was afraid to lose that point of contact. “I’m serious about you. This is...this is everything to me. I want to tell people.”
Connor sighed, rubbing his hands over his face tiredly before taking hold of her hand, linking their fingers. “Monique—“
“If you don’t feel the same, just tell me.” Her voice cracked as she spoke, and she hated the tears welling in her eyes, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that that’s what it came down to, that he wasn’t serious about her the way she was about him, that this was just a casual arrangement for him and nothing more.
“Of course I feel the same,” he whispered, sitting up to face her. “I’m not sure I’d still be here, still be me, if it weren’t for you. It’s because of how I feel for you that we can’t tell anyone.”
Connor reached up to lightly brush away the tear that fell down her cheek, and she ducked her head, squeezing her eyes shut, willing to not be an open book for just two seconds.
“There’s nothing wrong with a nurse dating a doctor,” she said quietly, trying and failing to keep her voice measured. “I hardly ever work with you and I certainly don’t work under you. There’s no conflict.”
“That’s not how the other hospital staff will see it.”
“I don’t care what anyone else thinks,” she practically shouted, head snapping up. “I only care what you think.”
“Mon…” Connor let out a sigh, giving her hand a small squeeze. “I’m too old for you. I’m...I love you, but other people won’t see that. They’ll question your intentions more than mine. I don’t want that for you. I don’t want—“ Connor broke off, voice breaking as he turned his head away. “I don’t want you to start to resent me.”
All of Monique’s resolve faded at that, the fight leaving her in an instant. Because it made sense now why he would rather keep her hidden away, and she wished she could make him understand, make him believe that it didn’t matter, that she’d spent her whole life being talked about behind her back, so why should that stop now?
She took his face in her hands, climbing onto his lap as she forced eye contact.
“I love you, Connor Rhodes,” she said quietly before pressing a soft, chaste kiss to his lips. “And stupid rumours or tabloids or hospital whispers aren’t going to change that.”
Before he could respond, she kissed him properly, pouring every ounce of love she had for him into that one action. As his hands came to her thighs, pulling her impossibly close, she knew the conversation wasn’t over, that this was just a distraction, that he hadn’t changed his mind, but she was sure, in time, they’d get there. They had to, because she loved him and there was no way she was letting him go.
“It’s late. Shouldn’t you be asleep?” - conique
Her hands tremble as she turns the key in the lock, and she chastises herself silently for being so dramatic. It’s not the first time she’s showed up here this late, not the first time she’s spent the night, but it’s the first time she’s let herself in, and it feels strange, knowing that she in theory could come and go as she pleases, that Connor wants her to be comfortable enough to show up unannounced. Tonight isn’t unannounced though, tonight she had been given a key specifically because she’d been asked to work a double shift, because they haven’t spent any time together in what feels like weeks, because he told her that he wants nothing more than to wake up next to her. Even in the darkness of the living room as she steps inside, she can feel her cheeks heat up at the thought, because it is still new, and exciting, and the memory of the kiss he’d pressed to her lips, telling her that he misses her still warms her stomach in a pleasant but foreign sort of way. Its nearly three am, and Connor’s shift had ended hours ago, so Monique is expecting nothing more than to change into the tshirt he promised to leave out as part of the negotiations and to crawl into bed next to his sleeping form, but when she opens up his bedroom door slowly, Connor’s sitting up, back against the headboard, just the end table light on, a book across his lap, and he looks up with a warm, affectionate smile, the kind of loving gaze she can feel in every bone in her body. “Its late,” she murmurs softly, but can’t help but smile back. “Shouldn’t you be asleep?” Connor just closes the book he’d been reading, sets it on the night stand and beckons her over. “I waited up for you,” he explains as she drops her bag next to the door and crawls into the bed more on top of him than anything, but Connor welcomes it, wraps his arms around her tightly, presses a kiss to the top of her head as she buries her face in his chest. “You didn’t have to do that, you must be exhausted,” comes her muffled reply. “Yeah,” he nods, but adds with a little laugh, “but I wanted to see you, it feels like it’s been forever,” he presses a kiss to her temple and Monique lifts her head to look up at him. “I missed you.”Monique doesn’t have a defense, fights back a yawn that turns into a bashful sort of smile, because she’s not used to someone being so forward, so open about their feelings the way that Connor is, how much he’s willing to admit, express. “Come on,” he nudges, “go get changed so we can go to sleep.” Monique just offers a non-committal grunt and Connor laughs, “you made all this fuss about not having pajamas…”
“I don’t care anymore, I don’t want to move,” she replies with a dramatic huff, letting her face fall back against his chest and Connor doesn’t have it in him to push the issue. “Okay,” he grins into her hair, “you win.”
“Dance with me.” - conique
Monique’s eyes are wide and shining as she twists her hands in her lap at the table, watching as Will pulls Nina in a little closer, as they sway in time to the music, Nina dropping her head forward with an inaudible laugh. It was a beautiful wedding, and Monique feels lucky, that she knows them, that she was invited at all, despite the fact that she’s not good friends with either of them, but there’s something about weddings, and perhaps, showing up to them alone, that gives her a wistful, sort of longing feeling in the pit of her stomach.
“They’re good together.”
The voice catches Monique by surprise, and she jumps in her seat, swiveling around to find the source. It’s Connor of course, she recognizes the voice well enough, though it’s usually barking orders. She swallows hard, and a light blush spreads across the bridge of her nose, because Connor is charming, and attractive, even more so in the dark navy suit he has on for the occasion, and because he’s an attending, not technically her boss, but very much so in some ways. He’s intimidating, always has been.
“They are,” she nods, still trying to beat back the blush as she glances over to the happy couple again. “I’m glad they invited me,” she turns back to Connor with a wide smile.
“Me too,” Connor offers a soft look but doesn’t clarify the ambiguity, if he’s glad he was invited, or she was. Instead he just holds out his hand, “dance with me.” And Monique blushes scarlet, tucks gold ringlets behind her ears, but stands up from her seat, and takes his hand, and when her eyes catch Will and Nina again, that sort of happiness doesn’t seem quite as impossible as it had before.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 9/30 Fandom: Chicago Med Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Connor Rhodes/Monique Lawson Characters: Connor Rhodes, Monique Lawson Additional Tags: Drabbles, Fluff, Light-Hearted Summary:
Share with me the sun, You forget sometimes it's yours.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 7/30 Fandom: Chicago Med Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Connor Rhodes/Monique Lawson Characters: Connor Rhodes, Monique Lawson Additional Tags: Drabbles, Fluff, Light-Hearted Summary:
Share with me the sun, You forget sometimes it's yours.