#connerspangler

[seamless-endings]

Nightlife

It’s nine pm in the city,

I’m tired and weary.

Anxiety keeps me up all night,

Anxiety waste my days away.

Nothings ever good enough,

I never feel like I prove enough.

But I am mister nice guy,

No lie,

I’ll try.

I hate when I’m dismissed,

It means I won’t be missed.

I hate that I can’t eat,

So I live off the these leaves.

Get to feeling kind of pretty, to grant me some sleep.

Wasting away, in my dreams.

My darkest nightmares.

I will be okay, someday.

Someday I will be famous to the girl in my arms.

It will be nine pm when we hit the city.

[seamless-endings]

Confession Booth(four)

You know what's funny? I bury myself in lies, It's like my own disguise. I've learned from the best and some times I can't wait til you die! Is it bad I won't have sympathy? Is it clichè I'd say God will be the judge of me? Because the prison you put me in has taken my life! The words you say cut me like a knife. I barely had friends growing up. They made fun of me because I wasn't fast enough. I grew hate in my heart! I fell back from the start! It was more important to impress some bully. Than to sit at my desk and study! I filled the room with lies, They'll be in my head til the day that I die.

[seamless-endings]

It's been a while, it's been a long time dear friend

It’s been years, Haven’t heard the phone ring at all. I get tears, Can’t believe you didn’t even call. It’s sick, those years of youth! All that I wasted on you. He’s in your bed and I sleep alone. All these sad, sad songs are getting old. I just want you to come back home. These days, I’m lying to their face. Are you ok? Because I’m broken to this day! I’m sick, You can see it now. You left, and it’s been years now. I still look at photos of us on the sand. I hope I find someone with that romance. I got a new girl and she makes me happy. She’s been around just as long as you. I’m sick! Can’t you see it now? I’ve moved on to a love that’s got me like wow. She cares, she’s sweet with a happy face. It’s been few years but you can’t be replaced.

[seamless-endings]

Hills full of dreams

I'm sitting on hill too dreams, Things ain't always what it seems. I got my heart on a thousand strings. Yeah it ain't always what it seems, Often it's harder to be blind than believe. I guess we got that government thing, The fighting for right and left. Fuck it. We still live as the minority, You know priority. I tried talking to a man upstairs. He was high on class A, I am still left in class Z. I'm making it, Money ain't what it seems. I'm too full of dreams. I got nothing in the bank but I'm rich as fuck. The dreams keep me alive, The top keeps me dreaming, And the goals keep me fighting for the top. It's not about the money, But it Makes it easier. It's not about the girl, But she makes life sweeter. Maybe I'm just fucking bitter like the rest of you. My jobs a life eater, You should know, you work too? The government won't always be there. We won't always be there. Hold your own kid. Take a walk instead of the bus. Grow up kid, I know it's hard, you're one of us. I'm one of you. To think I was sitting on a hill with dreams. My dreams all faded, Life got basic, I'm still walking the same dream.

[seamless-endings]

Heartless(stone cold)

I wore my heart on my sleeve. All they ever did was leave. Now I'm wonderin' if there's a we? There's only a me. Fuck it. I threw my drink across the room, Let I wasn't in the mood! Tired of chasing all of you, When there's no room for two. I guess I'm a stone cold dirt bag. Feelin' more sour than I ever have! I'm a stone cold dirt bag! As I leave all my lovin', And found my lust in the bar. Oh this heart full of scars. As I'm sleepin' with her.

[seamless-endings]

Don't throw it away

I'm just learning to fly. I'm not trying to die. Take it from me, I don't need sympathy. Because the next step is my lead. To this harmony. I can feel my heart race, Just let me catch my pace. Everyone in this place, Is playing it cool. But we've got problems, And I don't even know how to solve them. I'm walking, back to the beginning. Tell me what is love? Waking up to your sweet heart, Or fighting like you never had one? So come on and let the sun beat. Oh let the sun beat. Because here is my heart, You throw it away. But let my heart beat.

[seamless-endings]

Filling myself with white

I went to church today. I took a second to sit there and pray. All the walls were filled with white. But it wasn’t a building today. It was the people I associate myself with. It was seeing what we live in today. There’s no steeple higher than earth, I can only thank god today. The lessons I learned in Sunday school, They fire back like its some kind of rule. You think I go to church on Sundays? I sit and cry for days. Here, I have a lesson. You think you’re the only one filled with hate? I lost faith around eight. You wonder why I go to church? To fulfill why I’m hurt. I’m hurt because I don’t understand. What is love and where do I stand! They say go get her, But I’m afraid I’ll only get hurt. You see that’s what I’ve learned. But there’s no church to me. I hope one day faith will set me free. Her dads a drunk, shit my father left me! I’m filled with hurt, you say it all can’t be. You see my smiley face. You wonder if my sadness is a phase. I’ll just tell you today. Getting by is like a payday! Life ain’t no nine to five. It’s not even a midnight ride. It’s that twenty-four that fills my mind. And you sit there studying my time. Maybe I’m just a life to a dime.