Human 101: Sneaking Around
pairing: rk800 connor x reader
words: 1.5k
warnings: language, heavy making out, lack of proofreading, fic from reader's pov
summary: This week, we risk unemployment by getting *cough cough* busy at work (comedy, fluff)
additional context: reader is a detective with Detroit PD, reader and Connor are now dating (yay). Sequel to Human 101: Dancing
a/n: wrote some risque stuff this time and i am terrified hello :)
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I take my job very seriously. I love being a detective, and I believe rules are essential for keeping everybody in line. But hey, things happen. If you had told me say, a couple weeks ago that I'd lie to my superiors, break a whole lot of rules, and risk getting fired, all for some guy, I'd have laughed in your face and called you things I probably shouldn't say out loud.
But, like I said, things happen. Against all odds, there I was, stumbling backward into the evidence room, one hand fumbling for the doorknob while the other was tangled in my new boyfriend’s hair, his lips on mine like he was afraid to let go. I managed to get the door open and we practically fell inside, the door clicking shut behind us.
Connor took the split-second gap to slam me against the wall, staring into my eyes with a mischievous look he knew drove me crazy. I pulled him down by his tie, his lips crashing into mine with a fervor that left me breathless. He deepened the kiss, which I didn't even know was possible because 3 seconds in I was already giddy.
His lips left mine and trailed down to my jawline, sending shivers down my spine. The sharp edge of the cold metal shelving dug into my back, but I didn’t care. His hands were already tracing down my sides, pulling me impossibly closer.
“Connor,” I whispered, my voice shaky but still laced with desire. “We are so gonna get caught.”
"In that case, we'll be quick."
“You’re insufferable,” I managed to gasp, though my words lacked any real bite as his lips trailed down further, at a maddeningly slow pace. God, this was killing me.
“Am I?” he murmured against my skin, his tone low and teasing, the faintest smirk in his voice.
“Yes,” I shot back, tugging at the collar of his jacket to pull him closer. “You- God, you drive me insane.”
“Good,” he said simply, his lips brushing the sensitive spot just below my ear, making my breath hitch.
I was just about to tell him something- probably completely incoherent- when the door creaked open.
“What the hell-”
Connor froze mid-movement, his lips still pressed to my neck. I turned my head, heart dropping into my stomach, and there stood Hank. Hank. His face went through what could only be described as the five stages of grief in three seconds flat.
For a moment, nobody moved. The only sound was the hum of the fluorescent lights and the faint echo of music from down the hall. My face felt like it was on fire, but I couldn’t say a word. I prayed to every god I knew to make me disappear that very instant. It did not work.
Hank finally broke the silence. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”
“I- uh- this isn’t- ” I stammered, trying to pull myself together, but words were failing me. Somebody shoot me, please.
“Save it,” Hank interrupted, holding up a hand. His eyes flicked between the two of us, landing on Connor. “You. Romeo. What the hell are you doing in here?”
He slowly straightened, his LED flickering yellow as he turned to face Hank. His hair was disheveled and his shirt was practically undone, the tie only barely hanging on for formality. His head tilted slightly as his gaze darted to me, then back to Hank, then back to me.
“...What is the appropriate protocol in this situation?” he asked, his voice as calm as ever but tinged with just the faintest trace of curiosity. I just stared at him incredulously. How the fuck would I know the appropriate protocol for getting caught by your boss playing tonsil tennis at work.
“‘Protocol,’ my ass,” Hank grumbled, rubbing a hand over his face. “You’re supposed to be out there chasing perps, not- whatever this is.”
I could feel my soul trying to leave my body. “Hank, it’s not-”
“Oh, it’s exactly what it looks like,” Hank cut me off, leveling me with a glare. “You think I don’t know? I’ve seen rom-coms, kid. You think I don’t recognize the ol’ ‘hide in the evidence room for some slap and tickle’ move?”
“I assure you, Lieutenant,” Connor said, deadpan as always, “there was no slapping involved.”
I groaned audibly. “Connor, honey, stop helping.”
“Yeah, please do,” Hank grunted. He gestured between us. “Listen, I don’t care what you two do on your own time, but if I find out you’re doing it on my watch again, you’re both benched. Permanently.”
"Wait, so, you won't be reporting us to Fowler?"
"Report what? I didn't see nothing. Understood?"
“Yes, Lieutenant,” Connor and I said in unison, though Connor’s tone was far too composed for someone who’d just been caught with his partner’s tongue down his throat.
Hank sighed as he shook his head, muttering something about ‘damn androids and their hormones’ as he walked out, slamming the door behind him.
The second Hank stormed out of the room, I dropped my head back against the cold metal shelf with a groan. I was this close to just melting into the floor.
Connor, of course, was already straightening his tie, like it was no big deal. “That could’ve gone worse.”
I shot him a look, my hands still trembling from the adrenaline. “Really? You think? Because I’m pretty sure Hank just walked in on us doing... that.”
He raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Well, Hank didn’t report us. So, I’d say we came out on top.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, even though my face was still redder than a lobster. “Yeah, sure, no big deal. Just your boss catching you- us- in the middle of... whatever the hell that was.”
He shrugged casually, like it was just another Tuesday. “He didn’t seem too upset. Besides, I’m sure he’s seen worse.”
I narrowed my eyes at him, crossing my arms. “I don’t even want to know what he’s seen.”
Connor shot me a knowing look, that signature smirk of his never leaving. “What can I say? The guy’s been around.”
I had half a mind to throw something at him, but honestly, I didn’t have the energy to care anymore. I was still processing the fact that Hank had basically given us the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ treatment.
"You know we’re gonna get an earful from him later, right?" I muttered, feeling my face go a little hotter. "He's gonna be all, ‘You kids are lucky I’m a softie.’"
Connor laughed, the sound so carefree I almost wanted to smack him. “Hey, at least we got out of it.”
I turned to face him, raising an eyebrow. “You think we got out of it? He just let us off the hook because he’s... what, distracted by whatever his new favorite bar’s got on tap?”
“Hey, whatever works,” Connor said with a grin, completely unbothered.
I gave him a look, walking toward the door. “Yeah, well, next time, let’s not make the whole department part of our ‘special moments,’ okay?”
He followed me out, casually fixing his jacket. “You know I can’t promise that.”
I shot him a sideways glance, feeling the heat still simmering beneath my skin. “You’re impossible, you know that?”
Connor’s smirk only deepened as he sidled up beside me, his breath warm against my ear. “You love it,” he whispered, voice low and velvety.
A shiver ran down my spine before I could even process it, and I could feel my pulse pick up. Fuck him. I turned my head just enough to catch the glint in his eyes, but not quite enough to meet his gaze directly.
“Stop,” I muttered, voice coming out weaker than I’d like.
He didn’t, in fact, stop. In fact, he leaned in closer, his lips almost brushing my ear as he added, “I can’t, if you keep looking at me like that.”
“I’m serious, Connor,” I warned, but the slight quiver in my voice betrayed me.
I tried to stay annoyed, but I could feel it slipping, like trying to hold onto water with a sieve. But the second he leaned in closer, that same teasing smirk still tugging at his lips, it hit me. He was messing with me.
I blinked, suddenly realizing he’d been toying with me this whole time. Damn android.
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” I asked, the realization making my cheeks heat up.
“Absolutely,” he replied without missing a beat, his voice a low hum in my ear.
I couldn’t help but laugh (at myself, mostly), shaking my head in disbelief. “You’re so mean.”
"Yeah, you love it."
"Well, just, try not to get us caught next time."
"Now, where's the fun in that?"
