Not All Dark Wings Are Red Flags: In Defense of Rhysand 🖤✨🕊️
After talking about Tamlin... let’s talk about Rhysand!
No, really. Let’s talk about him — because for a character who’s literally written to be the fantasy, he sure gets called toxic a lot.
It’s a conversation that keeps resurfacing in fandom spaces: “He’s manipulative.” “He hides things.” “He has too much power.” And sure, if you squint hard enough and remove all context and character development… you might be able to argue that.
But here’s the thing: Rhysand isn’t toxic. He’s complicated. And there's a very big difference.
🧠 First of all: He was introduced as a mask. Let’s not forget A Court of Thorns and Roses was written through Feyre’s point of view — and Rhys, at that point, wanted her to mistrust him. He wasn’t trying to be liked. He was trying to protect his people, himself, and Feyre, in the only way he could under Amarantha’s rule. The Rhys we meet at the beginning is not a complete man — he’s a cornered animal with claws out.
🌟 But the deeper we go, the more we see the real version. By A Court of Mist and Fury, we learn that Rhysand is one of the only characters who respects Feyre’s autonomy. He gives her choice, time, space. He doesn’t lock her in a house, doesn’t silence her pain, and certainly doesn’t pretend to know what’s best for her. He challenges her, but never controls her.
💔 He understands trauma — because he lives with it. Rhysand doesn’t arrive in the narrative as a knight in shining armour. He’s broken, strategic, full of pain — and still able to offer gentleness. Unlike the male love interest in book one, he never tries to rescue Feyre from herself. He helps her become who she wants to be, not who he wants her to be. That's not toxic — that’s healing.
📜 "But he kept things from her!" Yes. Because trust is something that’s built, not automatic. Because he wanted her to choose him, not feel obligated to him. Because sometimes, people make the wrong call — even when their intentions are good. And importantly: when Feyre does confront him, he listens. He apologises. He grows.
🧸 Being powerful doesn’t make him a threat — how he uses it is what matters. Rhysand has immense magical, political, and personal power. But not once does he use it to force Feyre into anything. That’s the point. He could, but he doesn’t. Because real love is consent, balance, and agency. He’s an example of strength that chooses restraint.
🌠 At the end of the day, Rhysand is a fantasy. Yes, he’s written to be alluring, clever, strong, and just a little bit smug. But above all: he’s written to be safe. The man who waited. The man who saw her breaking and didn’t rush to fix her — he knelt, and said: I’m here if you want me.
That’s not toxic. That’s emotional literacy in wings and starlight.
[Roberto Crescenzio]