thoughts
to be influenced by good. it marks a strong impression on my heart, and especially if it’s someone i see in person do good in public, i’ll never forget it. I always remember it in similiar settings. and it strangely gives me courage to act.
a while ago, in berkeley, i walked past a gentleman that was asking for change. i gave a small smile and gave a “sorry, i gotta be somewhere” look. i had no excuse, as usual. then on the way back, as i was about to pass the gentleman again, there was a young student that approached him and i overheard her ask, “can i get you anything from the market?” i walked passed them. in that moment, my heart sank in guilt, but it also made me thankful for that moment. man, i can do that! i don’t have to struggle about stressing over whether i should give change or worry if i’m being judgemental.
99% of the time, the sensitive, avoidant, clamshell person that I am walks away with a “smile”. wishing i could’ve given something, wishing i could’ve said something, wishing i could’ve had a longer conversation. wishing i had the social aptitude to make them feel loved, that i care. or do i care?
but sometimes, i’ll chase down that courage and do something. instead of just wishing.
...i have thoughts, morals, beliefs...but what use is it if it doesn’t come to life? increase that 1% esther...
thank you student for spreading your contagious compassion.