Mar 12, 2017
Light is such a primeval symbol in the nature of the universe, that it can hardly be analyzed. What lightness in me is consumed by darkness and likewise for my darkness is consumed by light.
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from Türkiye
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Qatar
seen from Malaysia
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Germany
seen from Germany
seen from China
seen from China
seen from China
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Croatia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Germany
Light is such a primeval symbol in the nature of the universe, that it can hardly be analyzed. What lightness in me is consumed by darkness and likewise for my darkness is consumed by light.
Exploitative
Performative
Informative
And we don't know the half of it
Rhetorical
Deplorable
Historical
And all along we called it normal
A Difference.
what I took there to leave behind has washed upon the shore another time. Throwing it time and time again back into the waters, even with the wind, and always it comes back to me.
What is the difference? Why must this always come back but the one thing I wish would appear on the sand no matter the condition- still has yet to return. There truly are some things even time cannot mend, parts of you that will never wash upon the shore to reveal itself.
Ever again.
I sleep in incomplete sentences.
Okay, so it's 2022 (almost 2023). Not a total shocker that I'm still absolutely everywhere and nowhere at once. I have to say I've done far more than I anticipated. Managed to start designing my own ideas, creating my own content, getting partnered, painting again and blah blah blah. Unfortunately, that all means absolutely nothing if I don't feel anything in the process. Sure, at first it was exciting and new to start diving into all of this media, content creating, and the networking aspect- but truthfully, I never stopped feeling that hollowness. I don't know if my inner self is just stuck in a 2007 emo track... but whatever it is, it just won't fucking go away. SO, with all that out there, I remembered what helped me the first time and I'm desperately in hopes it will help me again this time.
Writing. I just need to type my feelings, my experiences and my life again. It was so much easier expressing myself in words and pretty pictures rather than utilizing poor souls as a makeshift punching bag. So, I suppose here we go again- with another effort to pull back from the graveyard. This site will source through all my thoughts and be the new punching bag for my feelings. Thank you for taking the time to listen. Love, Ayva.
I live every moment in fear, because I fear every moment I live.
- Contagious Lies