I was in line at the auto store the other day when the guy behind me got a call. The fallowing conversation was the only good thing about that day and this whole two weeks of hell.
Man: Hey did you get it?
Man: No, get three of the small purple ones
A small pause
Man: No, it has to be the purple one and you can’t get the big ones
Man shaking his head
Man: I know there isn’t a difference in the purple and blue one
I get to the cash register
Man: yes, I know the bigger one is cheaper
Man sighed
Man: Look, you and I both know there isn’t a difference but David says there is differences. He thinks there is a difference. So there is a difference
Another pause as I pay for me items
Man: I’ve been with David longer then I’ve had you. I can have more kids but there is only one me. And I’m not about to be smothered in my sleep because you wanted to be frugal
Man: David isn’t just some cat! He’s family. He’s my brother ! So get the damn cat food and apologize to your uncle when you get 🏡 home
I run outside so I can laugh uncontrollably because I’m imagining a kid or teen having to go go home and call a cat “Uncle David”