#coomer ic.

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@namidabashibridge​ asked: 22.  QUEST for coomer QUEST : for one muse to help the other with a task in exchange for compensation.

“-I trust you’ll be able to operate that?” Coomer says gently, a nod to the electric mower. Sometimes it’s a bit difficult for him to let people into his space - Especially this lush backyard he’s created, but. Eh, nothing ventured, nothing gained! Joe responded promptly and cheaply to Coomer’s request for someone to mow the lawn, so why not at least try.

Coomer wipes at his shiny forehead, sweating a bit in the heat. “Oh - I have to go find my hedge clippers. Would you like your $10 now before I put my wallet up?”

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@chancestander​ asked: "Coomer, I need your best training! I have an opponent out there I'm not ready to defeat yet... Please!!"

“Oh?” Coomer visibly perks up. Turning towards Rex, he raises both his fists lightly. “Now Rex, normally this would cost you - But for an old pal, I’ll see to it you defeat whoever this is free of cost!! Now what’s going on?”

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“Kill.”

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“Apes are a clade of Old World simians native to Africa and Southeast Asia, the other being its sister group Cercopithecidae, together forming the catarrhine clade. The New World monkeys diverged earlier from the old world stock of monkeys, by settling across the Atlantic ocean. They are distinguished from other primates by a wider degree of freedom of motion at the shoulder joint as evolved by the influence of brachiation. Apes do not have tails, apparently due to a mutation of the TXBT gene. In traditional and non-scientific use, the term ape can include tailless primates taxonomically considered Cercopithecidae, and is thus not equivalent to the scientific taxon Hominoidea. There are two extant branches of the superfamily Hominoidea: the gibbons, or lesser apes; and the hominids, or great apes.“

He’s not stopping.

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Dr. Coomer focuses, and uses his weak psychic abilities to transmit the image of a can of soda into your mind. You are now transfixed by the imagining of a rotating can of Diet Mountain Dew.

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He’s sat on some discarded wood scraps in the junkyard, and happily takes a giant bite out of a radio. Crunch.

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“God released me into the wild and now he’s hunting me for sport.”