Thirst Tweets
So in honor of hitting 100 followers here, I decided to write something a little different, so enjoy Coops reacting to Thirst Tweets
Yes these are all real thirst tweets I found, rip my search history
Coops credit to @lumosinlove
The camera started with Remus and Sirius in a plain white room, sitting on stools next to each other.
"Hi, I'm Remus Lupin-."
"And I'm Sirius Black-"
Remus shoved Sirius lightly, covering his mouth with a loose hand so he could speak, "And welcome to Thirst Tweets- did you just lick me?!"
Remus pulled his hand away with a face of disgust, staring at his fiancé. Sirius just grinned in response, flashing his smile at the camera.
"Where we read tweets of people thirsting over us, apparently. I came across one on Twitter the other day and let's just say I'm not sure if I should be concerned for you all or impressed with your creativity."
"What one?" Remus asked, wiping his hand on Sirius' leg. Sirius, in turn, didn't make a face at the wetness on his leg.
"The one with the shoes."
Remus looked to be thinking it over until he remembered, hiding his face from the camera as he laughed. Sirius bit back his own grin, staring pointedly away as he shuffled his deck of cards.
Remus calmed down after a few moments, face slightly red from laughing.
"Sorry, sorry. That one was just amazing. And for the record, I agree."
Sirius flushed at the same time Marlene yelled from off-camera, "What did it say?"
"Anyways," Remus tapped the deck against his thigh before pulling one out and reading it.
"'Does anyone else want to cover Remus Lupin in chocolate syrup and lick it up? No? Just me then, ok.' I- what? Is that really something someone shared to the entire internet?" He looked past the camera, then looked at Sirius who seemed to be contemplating the idea.
"No, Sirius. That shit is really sticky and hard to clean."
Sirius opened his mouth and then Remus stopped him again, "No. None of those jokes right now, thank you. Just read a card."
Sirius huffed, jokingly rolling his eyes before pulling out his own and reading it.
"'Sirius could kill me and I'd thank him. To be fair I'd thank anybody, but Sirius would make it hot.' Are you guys ok? Because these tweets are something else."
"Just keep reading!"
"Fine, Marlene. My turn, I suppose." Remus grabbed a new one, turning slightly red as he read it. "I want Loops to choke me with his thighs.' Ok, what is it with you guys and dying? I'm concerned for your mental health."
"Just keep going! Sirius, your turn!"
Sirius laughed, pulling out another card.
"'I want Sirius to plow me like a fucking field so I can’t walk anymore.' Okay then. That's…um...what? You don't want to walk? Why not just break your knees instead? Then you have a valid excuse."
"Sirius, baby, that's not what they mean."
"I know that. Still though. If you don't want to walk find a valid excuse."
Remus rolled his eyes, reading another tweet. "'I want Gryffindor's Hockey team's PT to destroy my insides. I don't even remember his name but still.' Am I that forgettable?"
"Of course not, mon loup." Sirius leaned over, kissing his cheek.
"'The Gryffindor Hockey Captain can break my back like a fucking glowstick.' I- where did this come from? Can I stop here? Please?"
Two 'no's came from behind the camera, and Sirius sighed.
"There's only like two left anyways."
Remus pulled his new one out, then looked into the camera and sighed.
"Mom, I am so sorry if you end up watching this. 'I want Remus Lupin to rail me so fucking hard that his mother feels it for months.'"
Sirius started laughing, covering his face in his hands as Remus stared at him in disbelief.
"How is that funny?! Oh my god, she's going to watch this. I apologize in advance, mom."
Sirius took a little while to calm down, and when he did he was still chuckling.
“Last one, mon loup. Ready?”
Remus grumbled in response but smiled anyway.
“‘I just want to tuck Cap under the covers and kiss his forehead that man deserves the world. (I mean Sirius Black, not Captain America.)’ Aww, that’s really sweet, actually.”
Remus spluttered from next to him, pouting.
“That isn’t fair! The last tweet I have to read is about my mother, and then you get forehead kisses?! What? Marlene!”
The video cut for a moment, coming back to still pouting Remus and laughing Sirius.
“I’m Sirius Black, and this pouting man is my fiance, Remus Lupin. Thank you all for joining us here at Lion’s Pride!”