Coriolanus Snow’s HILARIOUS inner monologue/quotes that keep me up at night + reactions ->
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rereading tbosas rn and… you hg fans CANNOT deny Coryo was SUCH a diva before he lost his mind like 💔💔💔 shits tragic we lost a seasoned COMEDIAN 😔💔💔💔 he was soo sassy so dramatic so unhinged and SO funny 😭😭😭 I’m SOBBING y’all and I QUOTE:
• “The disgrace would kill his grandmother. It would be kinder to toss her out the window of the penthouse [then tell her they lost apartment]. At least that would be quick.” (STOP😭)
• “Ma? Was Coriolanus’s place about to be usurped by someone who referred to his mother as “Ma"? The cabbage and posca threatened to make a reappearance." (the way that last sentence is phrased is just- bliss. BYE he was genuinely so distressed)
• “Who were all these people hanging around on a weekday at the zoo? Didn’t they have jobs? Shouldn’t the children be in school? No wonder the country was such a mess." (yes ofc future president bc that’s what’s wrong with Panem- barely 18 and already sounding like a dad complaining about the entire country falling apart 😂)
• “He comforted himself with the thought that she was old and nobody lived forever.” (😭😭😭 he’s SO unapologetically UNHINGED) (rightfully deserved too that hoe Dr. Gaul needs to DIE)
• [referring to Dr. Gaul ofc] “How awful, Coriolanus thought. To have you be the first person in the world a baby sees." (GOD he didn’t even know how funny he was💔)
• “Ugh. Would it be possible to find two people less capable of love?"
• “Please die, Coriolanus thought." (❤️)
• “I just wanted to send her some WATER!" (WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY😭)
• “Should you tell your best friend his crush was a cannibal? Never a rule book when you needed one." (the whole canniabal thing had me CACKLING I won’t lie, poor thing was so disturbed)
• [After kissing Lucy Gray] “Coriolanus just shrugged. “What can I say? I’m irresistible." (LMAOO and the best part Festus deadass goes “I guess")
• “Oh, no, he starved to death! Quick, somebody get the bread!" (😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS UP. TEARS. LITERAL TEARS. top 10 quotes of all time)
• “How sad," thought Coriolanus, “to have no friends." (LMAOO CORYO WHYY) (plz be kinder to your boyfriend Coryo)
• “Oh, a ghost story. Ugh. Boo. So ridiculous." (when I tell you this book has me SOBBING dying on the floor I mean it. 😭 the sass is INSANE. bc wdym BOO?!?💔)
• “The last time Sejanus lost his appetite, he’d lost his sanity." (I actually SCREAMED when I read this 💔 it should be illegal to write something this funny and then just?!?? continue on with the story as if nothing happened?? 😭😭 SUZANNE.) (if I have my way this is gonna be my senior yearbook quote)
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moral of the story: u need to reread the Ballad and appreciate Coryo’s inner monologue bc it’s EVERYTHING 🥰 and these r only the moments I could RECALL 😭 I cannot believe how little attention Coryo’s insanely funny inner monologue has garnered… again, we lost a DIVA y’all💔
(btw, so u don’t get it twisted, the mindset is this: love Coryo. like Coriolanus. burn president Snow at the stake on live television and make the whole world watch. but most importantly, love Coryo ofc. xoxo anddd that’s my time, thanks for reading!!)