I need an assistant to handle doctor’s appointments and pharmacy things who can also remind me to text my incredibly few friends before weeks have passed and they’ve just assumed I’m lost at sea and who can also then gently encourage me to actually look at my messages when someone does say hello and assure me it’s not a “fuck you, never talk to me again” message and then be like “please take care of this now instead of going to tumblr while the contents of your abdomen are squeezing themselves into pretzels”
I also need the Pinterest app to stop harassing me in-app to share things or make my boards collaborative—even if I’m making a fucking SCREENCAP—because bitch, i have ADHD, even when I’m medicated I can be distracted and if you distract me while I’m hurriedly trying to chase down a thought and search for the relevant things I need from this space I will cry, forget what I’m doing, or BOTH and THAT’S ON YOU, DEVELOPERS