How I almost quit cosplay (´;︵;`)
【super long emotional post lol. don’t worry, it gets better】
I remember in the middle of the years that I cosplayed, I wanted to quit sooooooooo badly. I started to realise that a lot of people didn't view cosplaythe same way as I did. Cosplaying was about loving and understanding the character and series, and sharing that passion with other people to fangirl over together. (」゜ロ゜)」
I remember during one particular event, no one, not a single person wanted to take my photo. Not even my friends. As a cosplayer, it's only natural that you would want people to take photos of you because that shows that they too are interested with the character/series that you did. And if they didn't, it was like you were never worthy to even be seen as that character. You poured your heart and soul into that cosplay, being in character, but not one person appreciated your efforts. (´;︵;`) In fact, they don't even have to appreciate it. They can just fangirl with you over the characters/series. Because again, you just want to find people with the same shared passion as you and fangirl about stuff.
But no. It was about how good you look. It doesn't matter whether you understood the character or the story behind it. You could be a cloth hangerand just buy a costume of a super popular series that you're not even interested in, let alone watched it, look pretty/bishie, and people would go crazy. As long as you looked bloody good, they wouldn't give a damn about how well you knew your character or how much time and effort you made into understanding them.
It was so hurtful to me. Like. How am I supposed to find someone to fangirl with me if everyone is gone attached to looks? Yeah. I wasn't pretty, flawless, or skinny or tall. My photos were horrendous. I know I wasn't good enough but even if I improved, I didn't want people to come up to me just because I looked "good". I wanted them to approach me because they really love the character and series. I felt like there was no point cosplaying anymore.
Until I started swaying towards the competition side. I met a LOT of people with the same line of thought as me: to portray the character and their story, understanding their emotional struggle. Fangirling over the most simplest but nostalgic cosplays. I realised that I wasn't alone. I FOUND where I could fit in. Where looks was not everything and that I could still share my passion and thoughts.
So all in all, I'm glad that I still cosplay and I would definitely continue cosplaying. There is a place for everyone, you just have to find it.
ヾ(＠⌒ー⌒＠)ノ
