#cow level

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

Pssst hey poke poke wanna rant about Diablo II is it any good Iv been considering getting into the series

Absolutely!!!!!!!

Oh my fucking God, ok ok ok...

So. I love it.

Diablo II remastered is my favorite in the series, and I can't even verbalize how much of a fucking gremlin I become over this game, bro. Dude. Okay so. Hot takes, coming in, but the second one is my favorite in terms of art design, gameplay, and overall vibe. It's also a pain in my ass. But a good pain lol.

In terms of playability, something a lot of people complain about with older games is the lack of explanation for a lot of gameplay mechanics (not just Diablo, if you play older games you probably know what I'm talking about), so the first two games even remastered can feel sluggish, unnecessarily difficult, and confusing. Which are very valid criticisms, I don't side with gamers who complain about new games coddling their players however. Straight up, the horadric cube in D2 doesn't have an instruction manual. Bless the internet.

Diablo 1 and 2 have just an incredible atmosphere and artistic design. It's dark fantasy. The angels are sick as fuck. The cover art; o r g a s m i c. Like,

And for some people who didn't grow up playing Diablo II, the learning curve is really steep. But I enjoy it! I love starting new characters and then deleting them again because I found a better build. Experimenting without looking up guides for point allocation and gear.

This is the cover art for Diablo II: Resurrected.

This is how I want to feel going into my fights. This is my enemy. Sexy as hell. I would recommend this game, it's one of my all time favorites. The characters are connected through your battlenet account, so if you buy the game for your Xbox and for the Switch as I did, you play your same game. Which is probably a no brainer for people who played video games for a lot longer than me, but I didn't have a console until I was in my twenties.

If you ever get this game, and wanna cry when encountering the first boss, I will give you my ultimate guide to how this dumbass cheesed their way through the encounter without dying ❤️

Also, secret level, near the beginning of the game you go through a portal and you can pick up a dead guy's artificial leg. Keep it. Later, you can use it with the horadric cube to unlock the best fucking level of all goddamn time. 🐮

Now, the other games... Diablo III.

The gameplay was way too easy (for me at least). After the first boss the story gets better, but everything about the third game is super different.. It's art is super stylized. It feels cartoonish in the lineup. It isn't dark, even with the body horror and literal demons, because everything feels colorful. It's the anime inspired fantasy roleplay version of the grim dark heavy metal fantasy games. I liked the story, because I was so invested in Diablo II that I needed to experience what came next, and I don't regret playing it, it was fun, but it didn't have that replayability factor imo. That's just me though.

Before anyone complains, yes I played RoS and Death was sick as fuck, these are just my silly little opinions playing the games. But like, it just didn't frustrate me, or make me feel like I was in a life and death war. But, if you like power play fantasies, Diablo III: Reaper of Souls, necromancer broken as fuck. Kept having to raise the difficulty while playing because I blasted through everything.

Before I go on, you know that trope where angels are dicks? Cuz these games are full of angels that are huge dicks. Best angel in the entire series is in the third game, he's the best character, I won't say his name because they act like it's supposed to be a surprise that he's an angel but ahshgsjsj..... I replay for him, and Diablo, but other than that it's only fun to play with someone who hasn't experienced it yet so I can vicariously feel their enjoyment. If that makes sense.

And my ultimate disappointment, Diablo IV.

The story is awesome. The cut scenes are cinematic. Lilith is superb. They went back to the same dark realistic atmosphere of pre D3.

I'm just really bitter about microtransaction hell, season passes in a game that just came out and was so pricey, and end game content that felt like a chore instead of a game.

It was super rewarding the first playthrough, don't get be wrong! The story was so fun, and the monsters were delightful bastards. They brought back the Butcher from part three, but unlike in D3, he was a huge asshole in D4, sunnova bitch lol

The game was so fun until we got to the end game and season of the malignant.. the developers keep arguing with the community whenever they bring up valid criticisms instead of addressing what's lacking. I wish the game wasn't so expensive, because I would recommend it if it was just a fun game..? I liked it, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the developers do something better with season passes or with future dlc expansions.

I hate real world currency in game shops and a lot of season passes. DLCs I understand. I like. But a season pass that's ridiculously expensive on top of an already pricey game that doesn't add enough new content for actual gameplay and instead makes you grind for a new horse skin? And grinding.

Ugh. I still really enjoyed it, but I can't in good conscience recommend it because the price makes me feel guilty. It's great, until you beat the game. It's open world, but the missions are limited, and the grind isn't rewarding. Again, crossing my fingers they make it more fun with future updates.

Such a bad bitch. Fucking love her. Mommy. The initial game is great. Just not for that price. Open world games should be playable forever, and that's what D4 promised, they just didn't deliver.

Sorry if this is a mess, I'm about to fall asleep ❤️ but yeah, I fucking love this series, even when I don't. The story and characters and the atmosphere when it's there.

[gears2gnomes]

SGDQ 2017 Diablo 2

MooooOOOoooo!

[sokarum]

Cuidado con las vacas! 

[centoridellanir]

The Goblin and the cow(s).

[ I had meant to write this during the Diablo 20th anniversary but considering it’s at least in the same year, it counts. When you have a Goblin that likes cows, it’s only natural that things get written.] Gem studded ears flopped merrily as their owner strutted down the streets of Dalaran. The clip-clop of gold covered hooves followed close by his side: His miniature cow Hamilton drawing the look of curious bystanders. “Haaa-mmy, look at this gorgeous day!”

It mattered little to the goblin, that Dalaran was indeed floating over an demon covered Isle, or that most of his inhabitants were fighting a war. This was his day, and trivial things like that were pushed to the side.

An old tauren woman stepped into his path causing him to bump into her and Hamilton to bump into Binny. An indigent moo showed the feisty bovine’s displeasure. She peered down and revealed eyes clouded with white. “Oh, pardon me. I was just trying to find the market. Can you be a good lad and point it out to me?”

He brushed himself off and then gave her a sincere but lopsided grin. “Of course!” It was then that the glint of something caught his eye. He knew that sparkle any where and it made him painfully curious as to what she was carrying.

“You just go straight and then make a left.” The glimmer of something rare perhaps? It caught his eye again and he wiggled his ears in frustration. He was a polite goblin. He was a good goblin. Centori told him that he had no choice in the matter. She wouldn’t be there to bail him out.

“Uh, pardon me, Ma’am but are you trying to sell something?” His ears waggled again and Hamilton gave a low, bored moo. Binny swatted at him before putting on his much more charming smile.

The woman looked down at him, a smile playing at the edges of her lips, but it never fully bloomed. “ Maybe, maybe, yes. An aging woman such as myself needs to eat! So regretfully I must part with this.”

She pulled from her bag what appeared to be a small walking stick. Odd for a creature of her size to have, but what was even more unusual was the perfectly modeled Tauren head for a handle, eyes set with star rubies.

He needed it. He yearned for it. He had to act cool as a cucumber.

“How much?” While his tone was casual, the desire burned in his eyes. The old woman turned it over, making sure to show off the rubies properly. “ For you? A hundred gold.”

Binny almost ripped off his belt giving her the heavy pouch that was set to be delivered to the bank. He liked money but he liked gems more. He would ask for a raise sometime. The old woman let out a low chuckle and accepted the purse, jingling it a bit before bowing her head. “Enjoy Binny.”

He was too enraptured to say much more to her. The glint of the rubies had captivated him and set his heart a flutter. Did his heart normally beat this fast? The city was pretty high up but he felt suddenly hot. Did she say his name? Confusion gripped him as he twirled the staff before keeling over. Hamilton huffed but then sat on his chest, like good cows do.

When he woke up, his head was pounding like the drummer of the E.T.C was performing a solo in his brain. “Gods. Too much excitement.”

He however didn’t notice a very large cow, standing on two legs, hovering over him. The benevolent heffer didn’t move and stayed silent. It was only polite really. There were rules and startling little green men seemed decidedly against them.

It was in that moment, that Binny peered up, and screamed before promptly passing back out. The elder cow shook his head and then prodded the little creature with his staff. After a few moments of the incessant poking, he stirred once more. This time, he peeked one eye open, and when the sight of the bipedal cow greeted him, it was a (very) little less shocking. “Uh, Have I gone insane?”

It was a fair question, and those around all agreed. It was the cow closest to him that finally spoke in a low and rumbling voice. “You are here quite by accident. In fact, there will be a lot of paperwork, a non disclosure agreement, and several threats to issue before you can leave. We apologize for all of it but those are the rules.”

Binny blinked and then looked around. There were so many cows. They were all standing on two feet and several looked to be playing badminton. While he had many questions, he couldn’t help but be impressed at the fact that racquets were being held by hooves.

There were more important issues at hand though. He was too young to be going crazy. Perhaps he had hit his head when he fell. He liked cows a lot and so naturally he would hallucinate such a wild scenario. Even the part with paperwork! A goblin through and through.

“What I can tell you is that you have not in fact, reached the cow level.” Another cow joined him with an arm full of paperwork and a pen. “You will sign here, here and here. If you do not then we will have to escort you to the great pasture. It will be quick and painless even regrettable but we have a lot to protect here.”

“The great pasture… do you mean?” He made a gesture with his finger slicing across his throat. The elder cow nodded solemnly and then pointed to the paper work. It took Binny all of five minutes to get through it. He didn’t want to become fertilizer.

The two consulted the paperwork, speaking quietly to themselves before the Elder spoke again. “Binny, you are to never speak of this place. Do not come back here. It does not exist. The cow level does not exist.”

With a great whack of his staff, the goblin was knocked off his feet.

Binny woke once again on the hard ground but this time he could barely breath. Hamilton licked his face and slid off of him. “I don’t know what happened Hammy but thanks for protecting me.”

A funny thought came to his mind and he stared at the miniature cow for a moment. “The cow level doesn’t exist?”

Hamilton shook his head knowingly which caused a great deal of consternation for Binny.

[nocontexteastereggs]

Minecraft Dungeons (2020)

[nelielombrelune]

I’ve finally made it to the cow level xD

"Leads to a place that does not exist. The Burning Hells are not responsible for events that transpire there. If you claim to have been to this place, you will be called a liar. Void where prohibited."

“Anywhere but the cow level”

[maaliinazeroth]

Remember the cow level?

[circular-8]

this is the best thing that’s ever happened to me