Bruce Wayne is a contestant on Nailed it!
He’s doing it for charity and his children forced him into it. The other contestants are other Gotham celebrities but who cares about them.
Bruce saw the show and thought it would be fun.
Also, he really truly believed he could do better than all the contestants on the show because come on how hard could it be?
The first challenge is watermelon carving.
On the outside, he plays his charming, happy-go-lucky personality and is like “oh wow, i can’t believe they’re giving us knives! hope i get to keep all my fingers after this haha.”
But on the inside Bruce is over confident. He can handle this. He’s skilled at knife work. This is going to be easy.
The time counts down to 45 minutes and he begins working on his watermelon trying to fashion it into a turtle.
The watermelon inexplicably bursts into flames.
Everyone is baffled.
The host (the fabulous Nicole Byers) makes a joke about how Mr Wayne is smoking in more ways than one. He’s on fire, but not in the good way.
The judge (acclaimed chef Jacques Torres) says something in French or maybe in English but with a very heavy French accent.
There’s an on-set emergency crew that takes care of the fire.
Bruce is forced to present the smoldering remains of what was supposed to be his watermelon turtle.
Needless to say, he does not win the first round nor the golden chef’s cap. He does, however, receive a special button that lets him call a friend for help.
Every contestant has a Panic! button that they could use to ask for professional help from one of the judges, as well.
The cake they need to recreate for round 2 is a Gotham City cake. Yup, it’s a cake replica of Gotham’s skyline. They have two hours. Go!
Bruce started his baking and is immediately lost. He didn’t read the instructions. He overfilled his pans. His cakes are a goop-y mess.
Bruce presses his panic button and Jacques Torres rushes over to help him. They speak in French. Instead of asking about how to fix his cake, Bruce inquires about Chef Jacques favorite wines and which ones go the best with which chocolates. His Panic time is over having learned nothing.
Bruce’s stand mixer goes up in flames just because it can. So does his fondant which was already on the cake (?). He successfully puts out the flames. He jokes about adding a smoky flavor to his cake to honor Gotham’s air pollution.
Bruce remembers he has a call a friend advantage. He video calls Alfred. When Alfred sees the mess he’s created, his trusty butler hangs up on him.
He thinks back on the wise words of his former mentor Tim Gunn. “Make it work”, Tim used to say. So Bruce does with a whole bunch of rice crispies, candy decorations, weird looking fondant, and he adds a little Batman and Robin on top just for fun.
It’s time for judging and his competition doesn’t look all that better. Although, the other contestants’ cakes were not on fire just a few moments ago.
The judges appreciate the little Batman and Robin they thought it was cute. Also, the only redeeming value of his cake.
He ends up losing very badly and is the first contestant ever in the history of the show to set fire to the set. Twice. So, there’s that at least.
After the episode is up online, Brucie Wayne has once again become Gotham’s most lovable happy idiot and there are a million gifs of him circling the web.
Bruce will never hear the end of it from Superman.
