The other day at theater, we were in the green room playing this game where you chose what kind of life you will have, (where you will live, who you will marry, how may kids you have, etc.) It’s called MASH.
I was MASHed with this guy named Sloane, so was my good friend, Kelly and she was (hilariously) furious . Us being drama kids, Kelly went to Sloane’s mom (she was working backstage) and told her how Sloane was cheating on the both of us. And being the awesome person Anna (Sloane’s mom) was, she told us that Sloane had sworn his allegiance to his typewriter when all his friends started dating (They are 16 by the way), saying that when all his friends had girlfriends, he would only have his typewriter because he is literally a genius who graduated high school a year ago and has already written a whole screenplay and a 95,000 word sci-fi novel and he was crazy smart but not socially.
Taking this seriously, Kelly wrote a divorce letter to Sloane that goes along the lines of this: Dear Sloane, how could you!? I thought that you loved me! I just found out you were cheating on me with Sadie and Typewriter! How could you! On the back of this page are the divorce pages with the signatures. P.S. how could you! I loved you, you stupid bastard.
And when poor Sloane got off stage he was handed this ill-written letter by a very angry, very scary, Kelly. After handing Sloane the note, Kelly started to yell at him in a very offended, very loud, voice about how much suffering he had caused her. While Sloane was severely confused due to the lack of knowing what the hell was going on until I mouthed to him MASH when he finally understood what was going on. So he started laughing .
Kelly finished her rant, I said to him, “ You should frame that ‘cause that’s the only love letter you will ever get”
He laughed so hard he was literally hyperventilating and his mother was also laughing hysterically. When Sloane finally regained himself, he gave me a high -five and told me “Good one, that’s probably the best burn I have every received”.
