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I just found an note my mum wrote when I was 3 ½ years old, about a “song” I made? The first part of it says "I don't want to grow up one more time, but I can talk now, like mum, and humans need a mouth" And... it probably isn’t that deep but... you know.
Changes
Hi all! I’ve spent a lot of time today cleaning up this blog and thinking about what I want to do with it. I mainly changed my theme and deleted a bunch of old posts. Though there’s still a lot of posts I’d want to get rid of. I created this blog in 2015 and a lot has changed since. It’s been interesting to sort of go back in time and look at my journey in alterhumanity. From how I believed I was monster/demonkin, to understanding those feelings were mostly rooted in depression and trauma. From the moment I started watching Ajin and immediately felt a connection to Kei, all while not really understanding fictionkin as a whole and not being sure where my beliefs were at. To having three ‘confirmed’ fictional kintypes, and knowing roughly what I believe. I went from first thinking my main canine theriotype was for sure a tibetan mastiff, to later feeling a disconnect with the breed and thinking caucasian shepherd fit me better... to currently feeling like the mongolian bankhar breed (which is very similar to the tibetan mastiff) is the one. Another thing I wanna touch on briefly is that I’ve been really hesitant to post fictionkin stuff here. It’s probably due to a combination of some sort of shame, not feeling like it fits the ‘theme’ of the blog (even though it literally is MY blog about MY alterhuman experience), and not knowing how followers from outside the community will react. With that said, I’m going to try and start posting more about ALL my kintypes. Idk what purpose this post serves other than just being sort of a log entry for myself. I’m pretty sure most of my current active followers just think this is an aesthetic blog with no real purpose lol. I’m not sure many of you actually care about all this. I might make sort of an “introductory” post after this one, re-introduce myself to the community and all that. If you’ve read to the end, I’d be interested to know how and when you found my blog, and why you followed!
Honestly one of the most precious memories I have is ironically enough connected to school. I was on my way to meet my class out on a lake, which was frozen because it was in the middle of winter, to watch the stars and sort of have a lesson about them. I don’t remember what time it was but it was dark out, though it got dark at 2pm so it probably wasn’t late at all. I got there and met up with my friends, who asked if I’d seen the northern lights. I said I hadn’t, I didn’t know what they were talking about. We’d been driving one direction this entire time so then I turned around and it was the biggest and most vibrant northern lights I’ve ever seen in my life. The stars were all visible and there was snow everywhere. Just being out there on that cold and crisp winter evening with my friends as we learned about the stars and played in the snow while watching the northern lights... I don’t know if I’ll ever experience something that peaceful again.
everyone in a server I’m in were making kintype charts, so I made one too while waiting for my food to be done :^)
you ever discover a new kintype and then you’re just in a state of happiness for the next few days because it’s like another puzzle piece just got placed.... cause, mood!
Went out for a late night walk to get rid of some restlessness. The instant I saw that the stars were out and I spotted the big dipper, everything was alright. Seeing that constellation is so grounding to me. Been thinking a lot about past lives and stuff today and just... seeing the big dipper makes everything feel right, makes me feel like the universe is okay.
I recently found out that my mum used to be a witch at my age! She said she’s going back to that now. Does this mean I sorta have it in my blood? I dunno, but it’s nice anyhow. I was afraid to tell mum about like, the snow spell I did and the sigils and all, but she’s totally cool with it.
Um guys.. I had a nightmare about reading the news and seeing that my former hometown had been bombed, and my mother wouldn’t answer her phone. So today I read the news as usual, and a petroleum tube had fallen from a roof in the middle of that same town and probably could’ve exploded. What the hell
