@47098
Hi again! You guys helped me a lot with my trolls, and you helped me a bit with her already, but if it’s alright I’d like another review!
Name: Cris Wright
Is this a reference to Phoenix Wright or do you just like the name? Hehe. I would almost recommend changing the surname to Binyot as a reference to Vinny Vinesauce, a really famous game corrupter, but… since I don’t know your reasoning behind this name, and human kid names tend to have less rhyme and reason, I will Approve It.
Age: 14 (or the equivalent of about 6.9 sweeps)
Weapon: Grappling hook!
As cool as that is, I think maybe hammerkind or scrapkind would work best for her, as a reference to her interests? It seems a lot more likely that she’d be carrying around her bangin’ hammer, or a piece of sharp scrap that she could kick ass with. Unless she utilized the grappling hook to get away from the beast in her home? But it doesn’t sound very useful to use a grappling hook inside a house… I guess I’d need more context LOL.
Inventory: Looks like an old point and click adventure game’s inventory system? Also it keeps track of her health. It has the possibility of getting ‘corrupted,’ but I’m not sure how it would get corrupted.
Since she’s a heart player, maybe it could get corrupted by giving her Way More Lives. Just hearts going all off the screen. Especially if she gets god-tiered in a really unorthodox way that could result in glitching.
Symbol: Missingno’s ghost version, colored green to match her glasses/ eyes! It matches both her love for video games and is sort of similar to how the events of her story play out. Thank you guys for the suggestion, back when!
Oh I’m glad it was helpful!
Handle: screapmetalMaster [SM] - screapmetal is for her scrap metal sculptures and her inability to type well. Master is because of her false confidence and bravado.
Quirk: types in all lowervase and often makes extremely easy to fix typos because she types extremely fast and doesnt check her spelling before pressing send and makes herself look like a complete dumbasss
FUCK i mean lowercase, also dumbass should ujust have like two s
JUST FUCK
(uses capitals to emphasize words, mostly curse words, and corrects herself using said curse words. Often makes typos in the correction as well. Doesn’t use commas or apostrophes, most of the time, and doesn’t capitalize names.)
Haha I love that, it’s a really simple and effective way to communicate her tendency towards haste. I think it makes sense that she’d be in a rush for a lot of reasons, not the least of which including her… lusus.
Lusus: Keeping this in because she sort of… does have one? A big beast in her home that chases her around that acted a bit like a parent when she was a very small baby. The beast is a creature beyond description. When she turned three, the monster kept away before eventually emerging to begin chasing.
Now I gotta ask… what kind of beast is it? Like you say it’s beyond description, so is it a first guardian or some chaotic sort? Or a spirit? Some sort of cosmic reach around monster projected by a juggalo? Weird stuff can happen in Homestuck so I’d not be too surprised by any of these options.
Personality:
Excitable, self-loathing.
Extremely excitable, as in she gets EXTREMELY EXCITED over things she is interested in. She hates sitting still, preferring to wander around aimlessly even if she has seen everything before. She has a hard time connecting to people, but if she does she will ride or die with them. She has a hard time believing anyone really likes her, but still tires her best to be what she considers likable. She doesn’t know what other people are like, though, so she often isn’t very good at making impressions. Every mistake is just another reason to hate herself, but she never lets other people know how she really feels about herself. She absolutely has a phobia of talking about herself, just the thought making her panic. She perceives everyone as being better than her, viewing herself as some kind of cosmic fuck-up that was shoved into the farthest corner of the galaxy to be forgotten.
She is very earnest, seeking ways to do things and enjoying problem solving, but when social interaction comes into play she is completely blank. She has never been around people, so this is to be expected, but it is still almost impossible to speak to others in real life. She has a bigger problem speaking to other humans, as trolls are easier for her to talk to because she relates more to them.
She has a phobia of being touched, but finds that she is okay when she initiates the touch.
Ooh, I do like this personality a lot… Being unable to sit still because of how she grew up and this feeling of suffering and this desire for closeness… An inability to connect emotionally and a search for a sense of self, a need to look inside and figure herself out… I also adore that her theme color is green, because it feels like a nice nod to the doom aspect, which feels pretty connected to her too.
I think you should focus a little more on her desire to build a cohesive identity. You mention her outward confidence/calling herself a master, so maybe make her someone who is a bit of a compulsive liar. Who tries to overstate who she is and what she is capable of, because that’s what she thinks people want to hear, and she wants to present this cohesive outward identity to try to find a sort of stability within herself.
Interests:
Turning scrap metal into very scraggly, usually sharp sculptures. She basically puts a pile of scrap down and hits it with a hammer.
Video games, or more specifically fucking up the game’s coding to make weird things happen.
Programming (In a broad sense)
“in a broad sense” made me laugh. My favorite thing people do is organizing game menu items in a particular code sequence to make events happen in speedruns. Would she do that sort of thing?
Adventure (in a “i want to see everything and mess it up!” way instead of an “i want to explore the world!” kind of way)
Maybe you should have her have like, a youtube channel or something of the short where she shows off her glitch fun to try to give herself an ego boost.
Title: Mage (??) of Heart
I’m… tempted to make her a Knight of Heart. I know Maroux is a knight, but Maroux’s a troll and Cris is a human, so that should be fine yeah? It just seems like she has a lot of need to self-focus and work on who she is and learn to be confident in herself and her abilities and her identity.
Land: CORRIDORS and SCRAP
Essentially leaving what she used to have and being thrown back into it, like the universe is telling her that she can never leave what she was born into. (if that makes sense)
Oh that’d be so stressful for her but you’re very right about it being a good idea. It would create a quest that forces her to work on self reflection and exploration instead of an examination of the world around her.
Dream Planet: Derse
For sure fitting!
thank you guys again!
Always happy to help! Thank you for sharing another wonderful character. Here’s the design notes:
So I really didn’t have much to edit here. I moved her face down to match the style’s proportions better, including moving the hairline down. I made the jacket a uniform color to preserve simplicity. And I added shoes (edited from fan-troll’s) because I feel like if she needs to run it’s a good idea for her to have some reliable running shoes. Unless she wears socks because she needs to sneak? But even then working with a ton of sharp metal scrap while shoeless seems foolish.
She’s a great character! I hope this helps!
-CD
