DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GIVE RUI KAMISHIRO A BLENDER.
author’s note: I fucked up one smoothie like a year ago, wrote this, never posted it. Now is the time for it to shine.
platonic wondersho x reader, oneshot, swearing, appliance destruction. Click readmore for the nonsense.
It’s the weekend (thank god), and like usual you’re spending the time in what you insist has to be the worst way possible- helping out at Wonder Stage.
You can’t even remember who dragged you into it originally- you used to do theater with Nene, you sat next to Emu in class last year, and of course you know Rui and Tsukasa. Everyone from Kamiyama High knows Rui and Tsukasa. Point is, you never had much of a friendship with any of the cast.
So why in god’s name do they keep inviting you here?
Sure, you might have stopped a fire on the stage… and you might have rat-proofed backstage… and you might have bandaged Tsukasa’s arm when he scraped it against an unsanded prop. (Who even leaves their props unsanded? You spent the next few hours sanding almost every wood prop the stage had.)
You realize now they’re probably using you.
“We’re what?”
Nene looks up from her console and stares directly at you.
You also realize you said that out loud.
“You’re using me for my common sense and basic safety knowledge?”
You’re not the kind to just… dismiss something you said like that. You’ll hold yourself to it even if, like in this case, it gets you in a bit of trouble.
“We’re not using you for your common sense! I’ve got that as well!”
Nene sounds very annoyed. You’re wondering how long it’ll be until she just kicks you out.
“We’re using you for snacks.”
They’re- what?
“…Understandable.”
You probably should have thought of that before. Theater kids (it’s no stretch to call the cast that) do love their snacks.
And speaking of snacks-
“I brought something special for this rehearsal! Fufufu~”
You and Nene share a look of “Oh Fuck” and just watch as Rui carries a cardboard box into backstage. Tsukasa follows behind carrying a mini fridge.
“I thought we needed more food stuff back here! I mean, we need snacks between rehearsals, don’t we?”
The smile on Rui’s face shows how clearly pleased he is- you don’t want to ruin this for him.
You’re hesitant to mention the miserable past history of cooking supplies at Wonder Stage.
First was the first fridge- that one unfortunately molded over due to someone storing costumes over it. Nene didn’t mention names… but the tone she used made you think it was probably Tsukasa.
Next was the mixer and oven. No, not a convection oven, like one meant for smaller living spaces. Rui brought a whole fucking restaurant oven to the Wonder Stage and thought it was a good idea. The mixer you actually thought would be fine (not like you were there to have a say). However Nene and Tsukasa made Rui throw out the oven because they knew that would be a violation of fire safety codes the world over.
Of course the mixer got co-opted into practical effects.
Poor Emu only got to bake with the supplies once.
And so continues a long and troubled history with appliances, all conveyed to you backstage by whatever member happened to be hanging out with you at the time. Overall, there were:
Three failed fridges,
One failed oven,
Two failed sinks,
One entire air fryer,
Five ice makers,
And countless random small kitchen tools
That met a grisly end at the stage.
Somehow one (1) microwave survived all of this appliance carnage. You’re thankful for that.
By the time you’d heard the third story you’d gotten the idea that bringing cooking supplies was a bad idea.
And here Rui is, clearly not sharing that opinion, all smiling and cheerful. He places the box down, helps Tsukasa with getting the fridge set up, then takes his next victim out of the box.
A blender.
“Someone is going to get injured.” Nene quite literally blurts this out.
“Nooo! I’ll make sure of it. You have my word!” Rui is very convinced about this, you doubt you can change anything here.
“Well then, how long do you think this one will last?” You jokingly ask Nene.
“Hmm… I give it a day at most.”
Rui’s getting ingredients out of the fridge.
“I change my mind. Fifteen minutes.”
You get up, not wanting to witness this- you head instead onto the stage, deciding to hang out there. Emu’s practicing dances to herself and singing bits of the songs under her breath- you make sure to sit somewhere where you won’t interrupt her.
Unfortunately, you can still hear the chaos backstage.
“I bet I could put soda candies in here!”
Rustling, the sound of Rui opening a bag of something.
“They’ll break the blades. Too hard.”
Tsukasa’s voice, the sound of that bag promptly being closed and a whole new one being opened.
“But if we dissolve them—“ More bag rustling.
“This thing has trouble enough with frozen fruit. Let’s just stick to that.” It’s odd to hear Tsukasa as the voice of reason.
“Fine. But I have no doubt it would work.”
The sound of something being poured into the blender.
“That is… I think you should have stopped at the capacity line.” Nene’s voice now. It seems Rui has an audience.
“No! It’ll work fine.”
Aggressive blender noises and occasional mumbling you can’t make out continue for the next five minutes.
“Fine, maybe the fill line is there for a reason. But I’m sure it’ll work if we just keep trying!”
“Did… we didn’t add juice, did we?”
A collective “Oh…” resounds from backstage. The sound of a fridge door opening and what sounds like an entire carton of juice being poured into the blender.
More blender noises. By now Emu has noticed this and stops cartwheeling around stage.
“What are they doing back there? Sounds fun!”
“Uh… Rui brought a blender. From the sound of it, he’s never used one before.” A motor roar sounds out, punctuating this statement.
“Ooh! Is he perhaps making a concoction?”
“I did not ask him and I do not want to be around to witness.”
“Well- I do!”
Emu bolts backstage, leaving you alone on the stage.
The blender noises stop, and now you can slightly smell smoke.
“Looks like having the blades spin without making contact with anything is messing with the motor… I should-“
“We are working with food at the moment, you can dissect the blender later.” You still aren’t used to a reasonable Tsukasa.
“Don’t dissect the blender! I want to make potions with it!” Emu’s voice… god you hope they let her have it.
“Fine… I’ll settle for dissecting one of these backstage fans, they’ve got the same sort of motor- Hey! Give that back!”
Sounds like someone’s taken something. The sound of stirring.
“This should help. Though… with the sheer proportions of this drink I doubt anything can help.” Nene says, with a grimace audible in her tone.
“Trust me! It’ll work out! Now hand it over!”
“Not to Tsukasa, to-“
The sound of the blender running again cuts Rui off, though this time the sound of what has to be some sort of mechanical malfunction cuts it off after around 30 seconds. A loud squeak from Emu, a yell from Tsukasa, and a muttered “told you so” from Nene.
The death toll of Rui’s curiosity now includes one blender.