It was a mirage. Had to be. That or bad luck. So far, Graham had figured it was more bad luck than anything. He had a run of that it seemed. Besides, if he was hallucinating Dominic there were more pressing concerns to think about than his luck. A strange, dark thought passed Graham's mind, that perhaps he had a tumor. Perhaps this seeming hallucination was a symptom. Perhaps he would soon join Alec for real and this place would be nothing more than a dream. Though, Graham considered that his luck could certainly not be that good nor could fate be so cruel or kind (depending on how one looked at it). Thus Graham was left only with one conclusion. He was indeed seeing Dominic George at his mother's old restaurant. Graham hadn't forgotten who owned it. He just never assumed Dominic would be there.
Graham did what he always did when he was confronted with something uncomfortable. He became slightly snide. ❝Ah. So you're a waiter now,❞ he said. ❝Quite lucky, given I haven't seen one in at least the last ten minutes.❞ Graham knew Dominic couldn't possibly be a waiter. The other would rather die than server others in that manner. ❝I will have that pinot I ordered ten minutes ago. Be sure not to leave too much room at the top, yes?❞
He was quite content to play this little game, however. He was sure it would infuriate Dominic. Graham would try not to wring too much pleasure from that.
N - Not yet (orgasm delay? orgasm denial? do they tell their partner not to touch themselves for a certain amount of time or under certain circumstances? do they delay or deny other things like bathroom usage or food? do they need to beg first? do they like being denied / delayed?)
It is important to understand that Headmaster Westinghouse is a very cerebral lover. He’s the sort of man who will worm his want into your mind and take control without you realizing or fighting back. Orgasm denial and power exchange are part of that. He’s not afraid to be possessive when it comes to his claim and since that boy is his he doesn’t see any reason not to make choices about when he gets to cum or how he can dress. Westinghouse sees that level of submissiveness as an affirmation of his partners contentment.
A - Alone time (how do they get off when they’re all by themselves? do they watch porn, is it all in their imagination, do they jerk off, do they use toys?)
He didn’t take a claim to spend time alone. It is his submissives job to attend to his needs and that is exactly what they do. Whenever he needs it.
V - Voyeurism (do they like to watch, or are they more hands on? are they more of an exhibitionist?)
Westinghouse is a rather jealous man. It drives him mad to see his claim with anyone else. Still, he enjoys seeing his lover in a fit of passion, and having to hold back while someone else gets him there only heightens the sensation for the dominant. That being said, he’d much rather put on a show for others. Jealousy and pride go hand in hand.
Y - Yes, Master (what kinds of names are used during sex? do they like being called master / mistress, daddy, etc…? what names do they call their partner?)
He prefers to go by Sir or Dominic, though his claim often calls him Dom. In his older years he’s gotten less particular about titles. So long as it’s said with respect he will normally respond.
Title: Such Beauty
Timeframe: Three years ago.
Tagging: Alec York and Graham Montgomery.
Total: 1,642
Triggers: Terminal Illness. Hospitals. Major surgery. Death.
Notes: Complete.
"Are you scared?"
"Of a little surgery...?" Graham smiled. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"
Alec reached out and took Graham's hand, a small smile on his lips, which didn't quite reach his eyes. It was still a happy smile but Graham could tell that his husband was tired. The treatment they'd undertaken to shrink the tumor had taken its toll on Alec's body. It showed in his energy, which seemed to come in spurts.
"I've seen you reading that brochure at least a dozen times the past two hours." He chuckled. "You must have it memorized."
Graham realized he'd still been holding it in his free hand. The one not occupied by Alec's.
He set it down with a little laugh. Wiped his hand on his jeans. He realized his palms were a bit sweaty.
"I just want to be prepared," said Graham. It was partly his nature as a Dominant and a person. Ever since he was a young boy Graham always needed to have all the facts. His father had always been a responsible person and Graham fashioned parts of himself after Gregory. Another part of this preparedness was also military training. He wasn't a doctor, wasn't an expert, but that didn't mean he had to be useless. He wouldn't be the soldier on the front line but he could have the six of the soldier next to him.
Alec lifted his hand briefly from Graham's hand to stroke his cheek before closing his palm over Graham's again.
"Are you prepared?" asked Alec. There was something in his tone that Graham didn't like.
Graham blinked and stared. He was asking something Graham had kept at quite a distance for a very long time. "Well, the complications of the surgery...seem big..." said Graham carefully. "Though the doctor says these sorts of risks come with any surgery." Graham would be vague in his answer if that's what Alec wanted. "We're doing our part."
They'd chosen the aggressive therapies they had in order to attack the enemy. Cause the tumor to shrink. Get in with a scalpel and finish the job.
"Graham."
The Dominant stood. "The nurse should be by to check on your fluids," he checked on his watch. "Who is it today?" He went to a pile of his things and disentangled a planner from his coat and bag. There were many assorted personal items in that bag, from toothpaste, to deodorant, to dry shampoo and granola bars. "I think it might be Flores," he said casually over his shoulder, finger sliding down the pages.
"It's okay to be scared," said Alec. He had shifted his head on the pillow.
Graham felt his chest tighten. He shook his head. "Why should I be scared?" Graham asked. "I'm not scared."
Alec smirked. "Bullshit."
That's partly what Graham had loved about Alec. He wasn't afraid to call Graham out. He also gave him permission to feel the things he was afraid of feeling. It put Graham at ease to take action. To do all the reading. To keep up on the research articles online. To study the tips in all the forums at odd hours while Alec slept.
"I know you watch me..." said Alec. "At night. Like...it's intense." Alec swallowed. "Like you're waiting for something."
Graham never knew Alec woke in the night.
"Sometimes I watch you too."
He closed the planner and looked at the dark haired sub. "I'm listening," Graham said, finally. "Not watching." Graham held the planner in his hands as he walked back to Alec's bedside. "I'm listening to hear you breathing."
There were many fears that Graham had about what was happening and what was to come. The scariest ones were the things Graham pictured could happen that they didn't see coming. Alec not breathing in the middle of the night because his blood pressure dropped or because a tube wasn't giving him enough fluids or a million other things...all kept Graham up.
"I'm telling our kids that their father was a creep," said Alec.
Graham barked out a laugh. It was unexpected. Alec had the most unexpected talent for bringing Graham out of himself.
"Actually," said Graham. "I was looking at what work we might be able to ask the plastic surgeon to do on you whilst you're under. You know...combine cosmetic with medical..." His humor never would've been so macabre before. This seemed to lighten both of their moods.
"Oh please," Alec rolled his eyes. "You think I'm perfect. What could you possibly want done? God made me a work of art."
Graham smiled down at Alec and ran his fingers over Alec's scalp. His hair had thinned some because of the medicine but they'd had to shave it for the surgery anyway. "He did."
Alec grabbed Graham's hand again. He kissed it.
"If something happens..."
"It won't." Graham shook his head.
"If something happens..." Alec pressed forward. "I want you to...find someone. I want you to find someone."
"Alec."
"I mean, obviously they won't be like me." He smiled. "You know. I want you to be happy."
Graham sighed heavily. Looked down.
"I mean, don't be too happy."
Graham gave a watery laugh. Shook his head.
"Like obviously not as happy as you were with me." Alec smiled tiredly. "But it's okay to be happy."
"I won't be happy," said Graham. "I'll be grumpy."
Alec rolled his eyes.
"I mean think of the paperwork you'll have left me with."
Alec gave a belly laugh. It was enough to crinkle the corner of Graham's eyes. They'd avoided having this talk for so long that Graham felt like it was for nothing. All that fear. This was easy. This was like walking the elephant out of the room and remembering its presence as one did a fond trip to the circus. Amusing to think about but rarely revisted.
"I know you hate paperwork," said Alec. "God, remember that time in third year..."
"Krazinski," Graham chuckled.
"You were in charge of his detail for the duty day and that man couldn't keep out of trouble to save his life."
"How he ever made it to graduation day, I'll never know," said Graham.
"You spent an hour talking to the commander and then another two filling out all those forms saying what happened."
"It was testimony from the others I had to sign as well. It started with that vacuum bin full of the dust that never seemed to fully be clear from the duty hall. He executed a facing movement right into the drill instructor on his way to empty it."
Alec laughed again and held his sides. "Didn't he drop that trash bag too?" Krazinski had. Some of it got on the drill instructor's uniform after they both fell.
Graham smiled and turned on the dim lamp above Alec's bed. He turned off the overhead fluorescents and moved back to his seat. He could tell Alec was getting tired. Besides, his big surgery was the next morning and Graham had been adamant about a bedtime. He'd even set an alarm for it on his phone; it would vibrate soon to let Graham know. But Graham already knew.
“And you got out of having to sign paperwork. Somehow.” Graham rolled his eyes this time.
"Remember when we..."
Graham nodded. "Week before grad week," he knew what Alec was going to mention. "We spent that whole leave in that sweet little town. Our unit was the one with all those merits from the instruction team. You were happy to sign then."
Alec relaxed, as if soothed by Graham's remembering. "That whole time I kept thinking...you were holding something in." He smiled, closing his eyes. "You know I thought you were going to break up with me."
Graham's brows lifted.
"I remember some talk with your parents. About whether or not to invite that ex of yours. His father was going to come or something." Alec yawned. "I was worried...you two had been in touch."
Graham didn't know how to feel about that. Everything outside of this room had seemed eons away. Distant islands to what they were experiencing now in the present. The mention of Cassius' name caused a twinge in Graham's heart but he didn't know why. He wasn't sure what to say in this moment. Cassius was always a love present in his heart. Though his love for Alec had grown somehow beside it in Graham's heart, in the spaces around it. Something that was hard to explain if he should ever have a need to put it into words. Thankfully, Graham never needed to.
Strange how the strands of fate worked. He had once thought it his fate to be with Cassius. To have a family with him. To be his Dominant. Then that relationship ended. In the shambles of those dreams...in the fraying of that strand...he'd found another fate. The end of that relationship had led him into Alec's arms. Perhaps that might have been his fate all along. Though that didn't sit right in Graham's heart either, for some reason.
Graham brought Alec's hand up to his lips and gave their enclosed fingers a kiss. "It was that week on leave when I proposed to you..." he reminded the submissive. Graham remembered everything about it. The trip up the lake. A boat ride surrounded by swans. They'd made love in a clearing just after.
"I see now..." Alec whispered, eyes still closed. "Such beauty...such beauty you have brought me."
Graham's heart twisted. He felt his gut clench. He took Alec's hand though his husband was now asleep. Graham could tell by his breathing pattern.
"You have to be happy," he murmured.
Graham wondered if he was dreaming.
He hoped it was a good dream. As Graham turned off the light above Alec's bed he knew that he wouldn't sleep.
His phone buzzed in his pocket. Graham silenced the alarm letting him know it was time for lights out.
He couldn't let go of Alec's hand. He didn't the whole night.
[ Cassius sees Graham sail his larger yacht next to Sebastian’s during St. Clair’s New Year’s Eve party. The exes exchange texts. @cruelboy ]
CASSIUS →
TEXT: oh, you didn’t
GRAHAM →
TEXT: To what are you referring?
TEXT: Your incredulity is so easily won, I have to ask for distinction.
CASSIUS →
TEXT: who said you’ve won it?
TEXT: good to see the virgil is still alive and kicking
TEXT: sebastian is distracted but he’ll be fuming when he sees it
GRAHAM →
TEXT I just had a feeling.
TEXT: Did you miss her? She's quite a bit larger than the "Atlas" but she still fits in the dock.
TEXT: Seeing as I wasn't invited to the gathering this evening but still had a craving for nautical fun...
TEXT: This seemed the practical solution.
TEXT: Are you enjoying yourself?
CASSIUS →
TEXT: oh a feeling?
TEXT: perhaps. lots of sunny days on that deck.
TEXT: it’s the biggest party of the year
TEXT: three decks, a hot tub, and that fleur de lys suite
TEXT: even the sheets have over an 800 thread count
TEXT: what’s not to enjoy?
TEXT: …..
TEXT: are you having nautical fun?
GRAHAM →
TEXT: Maybe not incredulity but a little bit of mirth, then. If I can still read you.
TEXT: A lot, yes.
TEXT: Well the year's almost over. Plenty of opportunities for even bigger parties.
TEXT: Sergey can have this year's last laugh.
TEXT: I suppose the best part of any party is the company. Do you find yours enjoyable?
TEXT: By the above standards, I am. Sawyer's party is a little too people filled for my liking. Besides. I can't get into any fights this way.
CASSIUS →
TEXT: mirth is closer.
TEXT: Sebastian just noticed, he’s not laughing.
TEXT: I however am.
TEXT: they certainly know how to have a good time ;P
TEXT: your preference is what? having no one around?
GRAHAM →
TEXT: Then what is it exactly? I like to know.
TEXT: I didn't figure he would be.
TEXT: A shame, since I find it quite amusing.
TEXT: My preference is not having to deal with ignorance.
TEXT: They've all branded me a pariah. I won't waste my time convincing them otherwise.
TEXT: It's too tedious work with too little reward.
TEXT: From our last conversation with Mr. Shen, you seem to have bought into their propaganda.
CASSIUS →
TEXT: honestly the look on his face is fucking hilarious
TEXT: pffft
TEXT: more like, i’ve bought into getting Mr. Shen into my bed.
TEXT: those that label you a pariah are just looking for someone to blame
TEXT: but if you’re going to be blamed for doing anything, at least you’re getting blamed for doing the right thing
TEXT: they really aren’t worth convincing
TEXT: it’s called the gossip mill for a reason. ever turning. they’ll find something else to talk about soon
TEXT: might even be the virgil
GRAHAM →
TEXT: It's good to know we still share a mutual sense of enjoyment in Salazar's displeasure.
TEXT: Hm.
TEXT: What right thing would that be, exactly?
TEXT: They aren't. Which is why I have no qualms not feigning interest in spending time in their company.
TEXT: I doubt that. Not while the scholarship students are still at Lowell. I do think they're entirely content to blame me for that as long as they feel they can openly use me as a whipping boy because of it.
TEXT: It may be...she's certainly larger than the Atlas, and a fair few do love to talk about size.
CASSIUS →
TEXT: Proving that there is truth to the phrase “some things never change.”
TEXT: you already know, you don’t need me to tell you
TEXT: .....
TEXT: you know what?
TEXT: I personally think that if the world wasn’t making you miserable, you’d find a way to inflict it upon yourself.
TEXT: is size everything though? There’s something to be said about how you use it
As I am certain you’re aware, Family Weekend is on the horizon, and soon it will be time for yourself and my siblings to pack a weekender and come see me. Or rather this is the time of year Lowell has allotted for such an occurrence. I find the exercise somewhat quaint, though I suppose there are some students here who would benefit from a dose of the familiar, in order to quell any bouts of homesickness.
Please do not think what I say next is an indication that I'm immune to such bouts myself. I’m not. However I have come to accept that such moods are a part of adult life and a fact of growing older. They are simply an awareness of the distance between now and the circumstance of childhood where ample time together was mandated purely by age.
We are no strangers to distance, nor intimacy through correspondence, given it was my main means of communication at West Point Academy.
I have to ask that you save your money and time. Spend it elsewhere. Lowell Academy has hardly been welcoming to me and though I suffer the slings and arrows of my Uncle’s outrageous fortune...I do not wish you to endure it. Nor do I wish Aristotle or Grace to witness it either. I’d prefer to keep you all separate from it.
A report scribed in this letter about my time at Lowell should douse any need to come to Portsmith and hear it again.
I am academically unchallenged at Lowell though I find the learning environment suitably unique. If I were in need of such seasoning as a Dominant I would find ample practice here. I spend my days reading, going into town sparsely, taking walks and doing a large amount of reflecting. On my life, on Alec, on Cassius Westbrooke’s presence here. Though surprisingly I never reflect on the future.
To dwell on the future is too daring. Too hopeful. It invites the wayward tendencies of disaster and disappointment. I find I would rather ground myself in what is solid. Right here and right now. I realize this is counter to Lowell’s purpose for me. I should be striving for a match. I should be courting. Yet I am too content whiling my days in this manner in lieu of building any commitments or paving inroads toward them.
My heart is split in two, you see, and neither part belongs to me. There is nothing left for anyone else. That is where I’m at. Should I find someone capable of accepting this fact and living not for romance but for companionship then I may very well free myself of these walls upon that eventuality.
