I'm having second thoughts about giving up on transferring. I literally only need to take one more class in order to transfer, but I just feel like I can't do it. I've been going to community college for like 5 years and I just hate that I struggle so much to be a good student because I love learning. Like I often wonder how my life would've been if I wasn't 1st generation, if my parents had an education beyond elementary school (yes, really), if I went to better schools, if teachers cared about students who weren't excelling, if i didn't get tired or lose motivation so quickly, if any adult had taken me under their wing and helped little flailin high school me out. It makes me mad and it makes me want to help kids like me because it fucking sucks feeling like you have potential and wanting to make something of yourself and being so far behind in the skills necessary to reach your goals.
This is the start of something beautiful. This is the start of something new \\ a death oneshot
Its so quick I don’t understand what is happening. And when I open my eyes the pain is gone, the hunger too, the sadness too. Its mean two thing. I am not dead and they all kill each other and I am in the hospital in the capitol. Or I am dead.
I blink once or twice before I see a red hair women stroking my head. ‘’Izabelle.’’ I whisper. Yes. Definably dead. I stood up to see my friend with a soft smile hugging me and stroking my hair like she always did when I was upset or needed comfort. ‘’I am sorry you died and I didn’t avenge you’’ I simply say looking at her. She smile and wave her hand ‘’It’s ok. You came back to yourself before doing something you would have regret. I’d rather see you like that than having a vendetta on someone.’’ She said kissing my cheek. Soon enough Adrian and Harlan came. I smile at both of them. Adrian hugs me and start singing the song we both sang before he died.’’ Don’t say you are sorry. You fought until the end and wanted to go home for our cause. So don’t say you are sorry Cam. ‘’ he say before I even say a word. I chuckle on in chest and he rock me.
But finally Harlan pull me out of his grip so I go into his arm. ‘’Mila. My Mila’’ He said looking at me with sadness but also pride. ‘’I failed you’’ I said in a sad voice. ‘’ I wanted you to go home more that I wanted to win. You didn’t fail me and you went far. So calm down love. We are together now. ‘’ Harlan grabs my face and stroke his tumb on my cheek before pressing his lips avidly on mine. I couldn’t help but to answer back his kiss as our tongues dance together and his hand grab my waist so I couldn’t move out. Like I wanted. I miss those kisses. ''I thought it was wrong and you couldnt do it anymore'' I said after a moment that felt like hour. I am sure if I could breathe I would be breathless. ''who care were dead'' He said before kissing me once more like he use to do before that damn letter.
And then I see him. Devon. Waiting patiently that I finish talking with my alliance. Waiting for me. I smile and Harlan nod me to go. I burst into a laugh and ran into his arm. He spin me off like we use to do and put his lips against my head ‘’ Im proud of you’’ He whisper before his lips finding mine I smile into his kiss. ‘’I tried’’ I said playing in his hair. ‘’That’s all I wanted you to do. ‘’ He tells me before the other join us. I look at my alliance and my best friend, all fallen in less than two weeks. All bounded by a love greater than I ever expected. ‘’We are free now’’ I simply say. After all Harlan was right. Death was the only way the capitol couldn’t touch us anymore.
