Hallow : ch xv - CSSNS 2019
“The Goblin King was prepared to host the Darkness, stealing Fae women away to their corrupted lands underneath the ground as concubines. The Darkness chose another in his stead, but not before this selected vessel enacted a devastating attack in its vengeance, revealing its hatred & rage. The battle was a lesson the old kings had forgotten; never underestimate an opponent.
Many more lives were lost as they razed over any who dared defy The Goblin King’s will. Only the pure love of our rulers united in matrimony, breaking the Vorpal Dagger, sealed the darkness and the Goblin menace away. The light flourished under their fair rule, and the queen bore a child as pure as moon beams, swan feathers, and starlight. They lived happily ever after, and shall be written in history as Heroes for All Time.”
This is the history Princess Emma memorizes from the day she is born, paraded about and presented only with the highest protection. The palace is a cage she wishes to escape, desperately. Not careful what wishes she made, Emma discovers history is written by the victors - The Dark One has an entirely different version of the events that took place.
Read on AO3 here.
Rated E for explicit themes, Mature situations, and Fae fuckery.
Written for @cssns
Ch xv / ?? - In which their is a mutual admission of something more
The constants were now Killian finding her, and forgetting until it was too late. Maybe a day would come when even he would be forgotten, and the feelings for him that were so confusing and wonderful would fade.
"Please let go. I made a mistake, and I - stop looking at me like that. Stop it, I don't -"
"Emma."
"Don't. Just - you don't need to explain. Just let me go and we'll never speak of it again. Please."
Killian laughed, shaking his head and pulling her back closer to him, and Emma tried to fill her lungs with air, tried to not acknowledge that she had ruined their closeness with a misinterpretation.
His voice was a low rumble in her ear that made her feel like her bones were melting. "Next time, tell me first. That way I'm not surprised by the lovely woman kissing me, and I can kiss you as properly as you like."
There was no awkwardness this time, just soft movements that made her lose her footing, his smile from catching her and groan at her hands around his neck like nothing else. Her own moan shocked her, the way his tongue pushed against hers, the insistence of every move showing a neediness that equaled her own. When her teeth gently nibbled his bottom lip, the noise he made was pained and she pulled away in worry.
Emma should not have been surprised to see him change so quickly, she had seen his moods with the Darkness, seen his worry turn to empathy here, but this was different. His hair was disheveled, lips parted, his eyes were darker as they searched her face for something she had no words for.
"I'm sorry, did I hurt you? I -"
"No. No, you did no such thing, love." Killian’s voice was low, huskier, and he left her on wobbly legs when he broke their embrace to sit in one of the garden chairs. "On the contrary, this is torturous and wonderful. We should stop before -"
Emma pressed against him, legs on either side of his own as she had seen in the rare tawdry romance novel in her personal library, kissing him again, seeking that same noise as he gripped her waist almost painfully. "We shouldn't do this, hmm?" she smirked against the corner of his mouth, listening to his breathing hitch when she pressed kisses or nipped along his jaw line. She could see his hard swallows in the taut lines of his neck, thrown back as he sucked in air.
Gently running her tongue over his pulse point made him whimper, his body trembling. Emma had never felt this in control of another in her life.
"No. We shouldn't, this is - I want -" Killian croaked, and she rose up to take his face in her hands. His eyes opened to meet hers, half lidded and dark, the previously unacknowledged plea there she recognized now as want.
"I've stopped," she murmured, running fingers through his hair, making it stick up further, to her amusement. Leaning to whisper in his ear with warm breath, she tucked a piece of his dark locks away before teasing. "Tell me what you want, won't you? You have had so much self control in every iteration of ourselves, and I find my resolve weakening further by the minute."
"Bad form," he mumbled, distracted. "It's not proper, we can't -"
"That's why you only tell me."
"I - I want to court you as traditionally as we can manage considering; I want to look at you and know that you see me, that I'm enough. I want to take you everywhere you've never been, and listen to your theories on constellations that aren't remotely true. I want to dance with you in markets, and on beaches, and in ballrooms, anywhere that I can spin you in some dress that you make wondrously beautiful. I want to sleep with you at night and not be worried when we wake up holding each other. I want to read by the ocean while you try to poison me with your hot chocolate creations, and know that you'll understand when I have to watch the thunderstorms that come through, even if I hate them. I want to see you smile at me every day even if it's with annoyance. I want to hold you like this, whether you kiss me or not, because holding you is a salvation that I am not worthy of."
Emma stared at him, silence falling as she registered with shock what he had laid at her feet.
Finally, she breathed out a sigh. "Killian, I-"
"I know."
"It sounds perfect. I would if this was - if we could - if I wasn't what I am - "
His face softened, pulling her so their foreheads touched. "You mean, if you weren't a princess, and I wasn't a ticking time bomb?" Emma laughed sadly for a moment, then curled herself into his chest. "If we were just Emma and Killian, spending their days in a seaside cabin."
"Watching the waves, and…" She breathed in, gathering bravery. "Maybe, just being a little bit in… Maybe caring about each other?"
"Yes. Caring about you a lot, Emma. I think that it's impossible after everything for me to not be… to not care for you. We're going to get you out, and you will have more allies. You’re so close to being ready to save your family."
"What about you, Killian? We'll find a way to destroy the Darkness and free you, I know it -"
"Emma, I looked for a way in the library. I don't think there is a way to free me. And that's OK, it's alright. When you get out of here, I'll be forced to take it back, and I won't feel anything for you. And you, you won't remember, it will be as if nothing happened."
"I don't want it to be like nothing happened. You and I make a hell of a team, but we're even more than that -"
"We will still make a hell of a team, and it's better this way. The Darkness will be vicious when it takes me back, and wilder than ever. It's been stronger every time I try to cage it, and it wants to hurt you. I can't risk that, and neither can you. You're kind, and beautiful, and so good - this can't work with the Darkness," he whispered as her fingers brushed against his skin just slightly. Emma tried to ignore the ache in her chest as they held each other, and wondered how much would go unspoken between them. Tracing letters across his chest under the buttons of his uniform, she lifted his hand to touch the top of her gown where the skin from her collarbone led down to her chest.
Killian pulled her hands away, kissing them pleadingly. "You must not engage a man with the indecency to hurt you… which I would. I cannot stand the thought, and you will be of my every thought if this continues further. Don't wound a man and send him limping to his grave, Swan."
"Always so dramatic." Emma rolled her eyes, ignoring his own annoyed huff. She put on an air that he had seen her use in the presence of her parents, stunted and overly polite. "I would despair to hurt you in any way, my good friend, and beloved Lieutenant. To wound you would be to wound myself, and how could I bear to see you fall to ruin and guilt for it? If you truly doubt and do not believe that I would find you under the layers of that thing , know that as you have always found me, I will always find you Killian." Standing, she adjusted her skirts and bodice. He caught her wrist as she turned to move away.
"Stop it. You know what that 'thing' does. You know what it can do, what it does to me and what it shows me. I can't escape it when it's in my head, and I'm trying just to stay afloat. I didn't realize how much I needed sleep or respite from its screeching and scratching until…" Letting her go, Emma slid away slightly, looking at him as he sat to place his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees. "If I hurt you, I'd…"
Kneeling to cup his face in a clear breach of station, not caring for it regardless of in a dream or in reality, Emma stared up at him fiercely. "You're so much stronger than it, and getting stronger every day. Please, we'll find a way. I will find you, and you'll find me. I'll hear you if you call for me, Killian. You just have to fight it, for me and for you. You say you won't care, that you can't - You are not the Darkness, Killian. It does not define you, and I know who you are. You know who you are."
"You can't be sure." He shook his head, and if there were unspoken things between them, she could find the answers to her worries or how he felt in the blue that met her gaze. An ocean of meaning, all for her.
"I'm putting my faith in you. And Killian, please tell me you will try to find a way for me to remember, to remember any of this -"
"No, Isaac was clear that you won't. I'm so sorry darling. But Emma, if a part of you does, being with you like this, being free of the Darkness, it was one of the best parts of my life even if it wasn't real. I want you to know that."
"Killian, I can't lose this. I don't want to lose you or us."
"I will remember for you, and keep you safe. It's better that way."
"Better for who, Killian?" Emma whispered. He looked away, and she stood slowly. "I still remember pieces of the other dreams layered on each other, you know. They're hazy, but I won't let them slip away, because they are so important to me. You as a pirate, you as a ruler, watching you from my tower as you raced across the desert before climbing to me, and all the other strange incarnations of you searching, trying to save me again and again. There's something to be said about the man so determined to keep someone safe at their own expense, and wanting them to forget they ever cared at all. I only wish you saw yourself like I do."
"You see me through rose colored glasses, Princess. The eyes of someone who thinks the best while ignoring the worst." Standing and looking down at her, he lifted her to her feet. Emma tried to keep her expression passive, but anger and hurt lit behind her eyes.
"I'd never ignore anything to do with you," she began, Killian laughing as she tried to smile. "I’m a fan of every part of you."
He made a noise of protest, but she held up a finger. "The Darkness is not and has never been a part of you, but even in its presence where it sticks to your bones… I am still a fan of the you that’s there, fighting and finding yourself amongst the wreckage." Her hand snaked into his, fingers intertwining with his own. Pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, she let him wrap his arms around her.
"Emma…"
"What I mean to say is, if I must forget, treasure these moments for me. Keep them close." Pressing herself in closer to him, she listened to his heart beat. His chin dropped to press a kiss to her crown. "If I can't keep them, someone should. And if you should find yourself missing me, or trust yourself enough to allow the slimmest of chances, find a way to give them back to me."
After a long moment of silence, his face buried in her hair as they held each other tightly, he murmured quietly, "I will, I promised before and I promise again."
Emma felt the tears that had threatened before slide onto his uniform, her shoulders beginning to shake as he comforted her. The sound of Lilly's loud voice broke their moment.
"Hey! I am telling you that I need to talk to the princess and her lover boy, and I know we're in a curse -"
"Save it. This gets crazier by the minute, dark haired miniature of Maleficent. Let's see if my subconscious is leaking in here too, shall we?" Snow asked, dragging Lilly into the courtyard. She looked at the two of them in surprise, while Lilly simply grinned broadly. "Am I interrupting something Emma? Darkness?"
"Mom, his name is Killian," Emma began rubbing at her temples. "And this is Maleficent's daughter, Lilly. Also, yes, you both have interrupted an emotional reunion."
"It's important, Cruella has put you under a -" Lilly blurted out.
"A sleeping curse. Yes. She told us as much," Killian said, irritation leaking into his voice as he wiped away Emma's tears gently.
"Yes, well, I went to look at the bodies of the other Kitsune in the crypts. They're not dying from trying to break the spell, Cruella is sucking them dry. She has a lifetime supply of energy with the husks just walking around -"
"And Isaac knew. Aye, Lilly, we know -" Killian sighed, but her mother spoke up with a gasp.
"I didn't know that. That's awful. If I had but known, I could of -"
"Mom, hindsight in your case would have saved us a lot of grief, but there is literally no time to deal with every aspect of that right now. We would need eternities," Emma gritted out, and Lilly giggled. When Emma looked up, her mother was glaring.
"Well. I suppose that I should help you then. Princessa Lilly, Daughter, Dark One, let us go to the library and I will work with all of you to fix my accursed barrier. We may come up with something yet," Snow huffed.
"Killian, it's Killian Mom -"
Lilly's eyes went wide. "Oh, Your Majesty, my mother would - this would change everything, you have no idea -"
Queen Snow hooked the young woman by the elbow, leading her to the library. "We'll need a cloaking spell for if you choose a Dragon's form, but as long as you still have thunderstorms and fog..." She paused and called over her shoulder, "You two have five minutes and then will be in the library." She gave a firm nod, then continued on talking with Lilly.
"Leave her be, love." Killian shrugged, watching her mother walk away. "It's not everyday your mortal enemy is pursuing your only daughter."
Emma immediately pressed herself to Killian, the kiss lasting a small moment in time. She pulled away only slightly, and whispered against his lips as soft as she could.
"I love you. You don't have to say anything back, you don't have to repeat it for my benefit. I just needed to say it because it's true and I mean it. I love you, and I am cherishing every moment of this until it ends, and will continue with any part that remembers." Emma kissed him once more, then pulled away. He tensed, seemingly stunned as she refused to look at him. Swallowing hard with a heavy sadness, he looked down at the ground.
Emma took this as the answer it was, any emotional reaction to his non-reaction pushed away. Stretching and cracking her knuckles, she prepared herself, ending with a deep breath.
"Now, let's go help my mom so we can get out of here, and help everyone in this ridiculous mess."
He smiled at her, their fingers laced as she pulled him to the library.
*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ
The creation of the spell with her mother, Lilly, and Killian’s help was surprisingly calm, each person serving to create a piece of the overlying structure that would allow cloaking and protection of the island from mortals, while also allowing the magic to reconnect with the elements it long sought to reach. Lilly's expertise lay in her species - as a Dragon she was able to connect their signature and the Kitsune's with a cloak that would hide them from prying eyes, or if they should venture outside of their island. A strong breeze, a sudden storm squall, or a deep blanket of fog would be all anyone saw instead.
Emma and her mother worked on the mechanics of it, the tedious process of webbing magic over an existing space, held in concentration and formed again and again like molding clay or sewing embroidery stitches. They bickered occasionally, the Queen wanting to press limitations into the lining in secret, minor charms that curbed power, slowed down slightly, or created elemental weakness, but Emma held her ground with Killian and Lilly's voices strong in opposition as well.
Killian gave suggestions on defense, and Emma's eye was drawn away from her work to her mother's consternation more than a few times. The flickers of his magic, untouched by the Darkness in this world, were a stunning shade of ocean colors ranging from bright cerulean to dark navy that bordered black. It moved liquidly; whereas her own magic seemed to be made of dust and light, his was like the crests of waves, or swirls of arching water that cast rippling shadows on the wall. He seemed relaxed, calmed by it more so than she had ever seen him when the Darkness moved its power through him in its jerking or static tendrils.
Even her mother was impressed with the defensive surround he created, a series of founts that flowed protection spells from various points and continued out into the sea, changing the current to turn away unwanted attention. It cycled around to be reused and rejuvenated as it moved through the island, splitting to spiral around the new barriers before meeting its start to begin again. It was as beautiful as it was functionally a masterpiece of magical workings.
"This is -" Emma gasped as she followed his notes, reading his spells that would control movement, flow of magic, weather tempering, invisibility, and more. "Killian this is masterful. I mean, it's just -"
"It is very well designed," her mother admitted, as if she was drinking something bitter. Emma smirked.
Killian laughed lightly, ears pinking at the tips. "I have had a long time to study magic, especially locked away -" He carded his hand through his hair. "I mean, I've read a lot of books and theory, since…"
Emma's mother sighed, and stood with a stretch. She finally turned and smiled her saccharine grin, playing decorum once more.
"Then maybe your imprisonment was for the best after all." Emma scowled, but Killian kissed her cheek, resting his arm around her with a soft smile.
He didn't look at her mother when he spoke. "I truly believe that it was."
Emma blushed, squeezing his hand.
With the spell done, Emma pressed it into her hand, leaving a scorch mark on her palm. The group sat in quiet, Lilly occasionally rubbing her head, wincing more as the time went on.
"Lilly, are you alright?" Emma asked, concerned.
Killian and her exchanged glances, his jaw setting in the way Emma knew now meant that he was upset.
Lilly lowered her eyes. "I think my body - I think I got hit in the head pretty good by Cruella when she cast the curse. I tried to protect you and Killian." She winced again. "I didn't do a great job. I haven't been able to protect you at all, Cruella has always beaten me."
Emma's eyes widened, and her mother shook her head in anger.
"You're alright though, you're safe somewhere, right?" Emma asked. Lilly shrugged, and Emma looked at Killian. "Surely there's something we can do. What if you bleed out, or you have a concussion -"
"We just have to hope that my parents or someone else finds me." Lilly fiddled with her fingers. "I think they put me in the crypts."
"Lilly, this is -"
"So if I disappear, or turn into a husk, please don't forget that I tried. I wanted to be a good friend to you Emma." Lilly approached as if she was shy, gently taking one of Emma's hands. "You were my first friend from outside this island, which might as well be the first true friend I ever had. I'm sorry I wasn't better."
Emma hugged Lilly fiercely, surprising the Dragon who stood stunned before returning it. When she pulled away, she wiped at her eyes, laughing slightly as Emma smiled at her softly.
"Why are you so good at this?" Lilly mock-whined.
Emma laughed, clasping Lilly's hands tighter. "Because, you are just that awful at it."
Lilly roared out a laugh, grinning ear to ear. Killian joined them, hand snaking around Emma's waist, the three of them enjoying their conversation until Lilly vanished mid sentence. Emma stuck up her chin in defiance, Killian rubbing at the webbing of her hand soothingly
"You know she'll be alright," he whispered, kissing her temple. Her mother glared, and Emma tried to feel any sort of sign that Lilly was safe, awake and alive to face whatever Cruella threw at them next, but nothing came.
Emma's mother coughed, and when neither Killian or Emma acknowledged it, coughed louder.
"Yes, Mom?" Emma asked, annoyance seeping into her tone. Her mother narrowed her eyes.
"I'd like some more time with you, to explain some things, as it were." Her dark brows pinched together, and she rubbed where they met with a sigh. "There's been some misconceptions and miscommunication -"
"Like how you turned a man into a tree and segregated an entire species for a political alliance with the Merfolk?" Emma asked, trying to not let venom ooze into her words.
"That's not - Emma -" her mother sputtered.
Emma instead turned further into Killian’s embrace, his body stiff from trying not to laugh, but also holding in his own quips.
"So, we just wait here for the dream Isaac created to end?" she whispered. He breathed out a puff of air he had been holding, nodding slightly. Her mother continued trying to explain, but Emma tuned her out. "And then what?"
Killian swallowed hard. "Then the nightmares will begin to soak into everything. You can't get lost in them, no matter how frightening they are." He gripped her hand, kissing her knuckles. Her mother's voice was growing louder. "You and I will face everything together."
"Any idea how much time we have left?" she asked.
He shook his head no, holding her closer.
"I want to spend time with my mom, and with you," she affirmed.
"I would be happy to oblige," Killian breathed out. "But you may need to spend the majority of it with your mother, because she is quite livid at the moment."
"Emma, are you listening to me!?" her mother asked, in an angry, but pleading tone. "You need to know this, you need to stop -"
"I'll see you after." Killian pulled away, throwing her an apologetic look. "Good luck, my love."
Emma watched him go, her heart fluttering like a bird at his soft endearment.
" Emma -"
"What! What is it, Mother? Do you have more bad judgements you rained down during war time to tell me? Another rightfully angry enemy of yours lurking somewhere, ready to get their long sought after revenge? Who else did you punish while serving as judge, jury, and jailer?" Emma snarled, whirling on her mother's surprised form. She felt drained, exhausted, and beyond frustrated with her mother's part in their current situation. "It's my turn for questions, and here's one: Why did you ever agree to be queen, knowing that you would be so terrible at it! Was it because you were put there to be killed? You didn't think you might actually have to rule effectively?"
Her mother gaped, silently, as Emma breathed heavily from her yelling. To her further annoyance she began to cry, and wished Killian had stayed if just to keep her from swaying or shaking.
"Emma…" her mother whispered, concerned. Emma's eyes snapped back to look at her mother's face, frowning at the tears mirrored there. "Please sit down. You - You look - Rest for a little while -"
"Don't you dare paint me as weak, Mother. Not after everything you have put me through." Emma felt herself start to shake harder. "Don't you dare ."
"I was just… I am just… I'm so sorry." Her mother moved forward, slowly, reaching for Emma tentatively.
"You should be," Emma said slowly, wary of her mother's apologies. They always came with a condition, a reason. Her mother sighed, and Emma braced herself.
"I know."
Emma blinked.
"You know? You know what?" Emma asked, shocked.
Her mother looked ashamed, tears openly flowing as she choked out words.
"We should have told you everything. We thought we were protecting you from a past you had no part in. I'm so sorry we failed you Emma. I am so proud of you, I am so profoundly in awe of the woman that you have become." Emma allowed her to come close, letting her run her own shaking fingers over the top of her forearms. Snow rested her hands there, staring at her with reddening eyes. "Forgive me for my many mistakes made in ignorance, anger, and youthful naivety, and forgive me for the consequences that rippled from them. Should we make it out of this terrible coup, I will review every punishment that we have doled out, and try to do better for all of us."
Emma swallowed hard, nodding through being unable to speak.
"I love you, my beautiful daughter. My little buttercup, my shining golden girl, made of sunrays and dawn's light," Snow whispered, wiping tears from Emma's face. "I - I should have done better. We should have done better and I hope to make it right with you."
Emma hugged her tightly, finally allowing herself to lean on her mother's frame, both of them wishing for this opportunity outside of this dream. Wiping snot from her nose after the long minutes of just sitting together, Emma cleared her throat to ask another question.
"I know you don't have much time with me left, but is there anything else I should know? Anything I should be aware of? Any advice or guidance?"
"Henry is trying to get to you. He is with his wife, and they can help you some. There is a secret Dwarven settlement in the mountains near the Baelfire Hold; we used it during the war as a safe place. If you get there, you will find friends."
"That's perfect. I hate that this will end with me not remembering it, but I'll tell Killian everything I can and -"
"Emma, before I disappear, I have to tell you what your grandfather did. If you do by chance remember, or at least someone does if we… What I mean to say is that I must play you as confessional as well as daughter. David should have told everyone, I should have, but David's family was… There was a reason you didn't know your uncle or your grandfather, or your great grandfather. They made choices that your father fought against. They did horrible, awful things that we had to reckon with - "
"That sounds familiar," Emma snapped. "What else has our family done that I will have to fix?"
"There's no fixing what they did, Emma. Those alive that know, they don't speak about it. We’ve wiped it from history in our shame, the few that seek vengeance cannot be reasoned with -"
"Mom, is this about the Goblins?" Emma asked, anxiously.
"Oh, Emma, it's about them and so much more. My family is not innocent in this either, the Whiteheart name bears its own stain. My father could have saved us from every bit of this, but refused out of fear. He should have saved them all, given them refuge when they needed it most, but David's father would have demanded retribution. I know this does not make sense yet, but I -"
Emma stared at the empty chair in front of her, the fireplace crackling the only sound in her mother's sudden departure.
"I love you Mom. I love you Dad. I love you, all of you waiting for me. Be safe, please, be alright."
Closing her eyes, Emma brought her knees to her chest, and let herself cry.
*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ
Killian found Emma sitting in her room in the middle of its large bed, the curtained drapes tied up, and light streaming through the windows. Beyond the tall separated panes of glass were a field of wildflowers that led to the river the castle laid over, and the forest beyond of tall trees. Between them, a fireplace burned, filling the room with a warm glow and gentle heat, a basket of blankets and chaise set up in front. Tall bookshelves and a rolling ladder offset the bed, a large vanity between two doors on the far wall opposite the atrium entrance. The rightmost door was wide open, showing a large dressing area and the colors of multiple gowns hung within. The leftmost had soft blush marble peeking out of the barely ajar door, in what he assumed was a bath.
He joined her in the bed, her sigh of contentness when he held her like a breeze in the far pines.
"Is your mother…?" he whispered against her neck. She nodded, leaning back into him. "Are you alright?" Nodding once more, she nuzzled into him.
Her room looked barely lived in, absolutely pristine compared to what he knew of her, all except for the softness of the bed piled high with pillows, collections of lumpy blankets, soft furs, and sheets that felt like butter against his skin.
"No wonder you like sleeping so much," he chuckled.
Emma was quiet for a long time, until she moved and nibbled at his ear. He laughed for a moment, until she pulled at the lobe with her teeth harshly, sucking on it to soothe the burn. Turning fully in his lap, he breathed in air with a loud hiss.
"I've never had someone in my bedroom like this," she whispered, kissing down his neck. Killian felt heat shoot through his veins to the place he was doing his best to avoid thinking about. "I wish you would reconsider."
"I wish I could, love." He pushed hair away from her face, the gleam in her eye strange, malicious, and hostile. "Emma -"
"I know, I know puppy," she purred, voice deeper, raspier. She feigned embarrassment, covering her body with her hands as if she were nude. "Don't. Consider that this is make believe, consider that it's manufactured no matter how real it feels. Purity and all that."
Killian pushed her, throwing her off of him just as black began to replace the blonde on her scalp. "You! Where's Emma?" Not waiting for an answer he ran out of the room, hearing Emma laugh unnaturally, a cackle ripping from her throat.
"Where am I?" Emma’s voice echoed down the hallway, followed by the raucous laughter. "You said we shouldn't separate, we had to stay together!"
A scream ripped from deeper in the castle, and he raced toward it. Turning towards the ballroom, he slipped in a wet puddle, stumbling into a wall, making paintings crash to the ground. Blood. Bodies lay strewn everywhere in various stages of flight, all running from the direction he charged toward. He heard Emma's crying, throwing aside curtains to get to her. A small sword lay discarded in a gory mess, and he emerged into the dim light of the ball room wiping it clean, passing the thrones -
"You killed them! How could you, how could you, you monster!" Emma howled at him, running towards him and knocking the sword from his hand. Unprepared for the attack and stunned by Emma's blood stained hands and dress, she knocked him easily to the sticky floor.
"That's right, I ordered him to kill them, and the Dark One always does my bidding," Nil's voice drawled from nearby, and Emma had the Dagger, the completed Dagger that bore his name, raised over him. He pushed back against her wrists, her eyes wild as she tried to bring it down on him. "He gladly serves, loves the taste of the screams and begging for their lives. Go ahead and kill him, Emma. Try to make him suffer for what he's done."
"Emma, love, this is a nightmare - remember that, remember that we have to stay together," Killian gritted out. "I don't want to hurt you darling, please,"
"You don't want to hurt me? You abandon me, then you kill all the people I love; my parents, all of my friends, the court, - You are only Darkness! You're the Dark One, you killed them all, all of them! Nil is going to pull me into the dark, and you will help him - "
"No. No, Emma, I won't. I -" Killian flipped her, the dagger clattering to the side. She shrieked, struggling with all her might, and he held her wrists down. "Stop, Emma, just relax and give me a moment to explain -"
A blur of black hit him and he went flying, Nil scooping up the dagger as another version of himself tried to run him through with the sword he'd lost.
"Kill this imposter, Dark One. The princess and I will be waiting for you in my chambers." Killian saw the floor open into an abyss, Emma being pulled in by some unseen force as she tried to hold on. She looked at him in panic, her eyes wide at the sight of the two of them struggling.
Not worrying about hurting another version of himself made it easier to disarm the nightmarish doppelganger, and Killian ran towards Emma, catching her before she fell into the dark hole. Wrenching her upward, she threw her arms around him, the floor falling away around them into the pitch blackness.
"Listen, the next part, the next part of this dream is awful and I need you to find me as fast as you can. Please Killian, I can't be alone with him. I'll be in his bed chambers, tied down, you'll have to find me quickly. Please, please hurry. The things he will do, I can't go through that again." Emma sobbed, clinging to him.
"I'm not going to lose you. It's going to be okay, I -"
"Look out!" Emma pulled him to the side, but the blow struck him just the same, luckily only leaving a gash in his side. He hissed in a breath at the feeling of steel against his skin as the other him laughed, Emma's fingers slipping in his hand.
Emma's eyes were so wide, her face so full of terror as he clung to a rapidly declining edge. "Don't let go, please, don't drop me. I'm so scared." Above, the nightmare doppelganger approached menacingly, and Killian felt his side burning from strain. Looking down at her, he nodded.
"Together?" he asked, and she breathed in deeply, stilling herself.
"Together." She nodded.
He let go as the doppelganger swung his sword down, narrowly missing his fingers. They fell, Emma gripping his hand, then his shirt as she pressed herself against him, bracing herself for some untold torment.
"I won't let him hurt you," Killian whispered, gently stroking her hair. "I won't, Emma. I -"
Instead of falling into the bowels of the earth, he felt clawed hands wrench him away from Emma. She screamed his name, the sound of a splash echoing as he hit hard against wood, the night sky exploding behind his eyelids.
*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ
When she did not fall into the bed that haunted her nightmares, Emma was shocked, but the cold water that doused her head to toe was an unwelcome relief as well. She struggled to the surface, aware of the creaking of wood, the ropes she was tangled in, and the boat that was pulling her upwards. Coughing she tried to gain her bearings, but as the net was tilted and she rolled out with the fresh catch, Emma realized that no one on board could help her. Blurred gray mists moved around the deck, the air ice cold around them. Voices from below were raised, the mists not paying her heed as she hiked up her sopping skirts, trying to find Killian.
Heading below, the ship extremely familiar to her, she heard his voice clearly.
"So they have demanded their own realm? After all of this? What did the Lady of Whitehart say, now that she is to rule -"
"Snow said yes. It's a wise move in the long run, they want it designed as a stronghold: One way in which means that is the only way out, upper Goblin hierarchy exclusively. Snow recognizes the advantage that gives us in the long run. A stronghold can easily turn into a prison, or a tomb." The other voice was distorted, tinny and soft in places. It reminded Emma of the records Anna had played for her once, the voices on the discs played too slow by her on purpose as a gag.
"And what other news?" Killian asked. Emma moved closer to the open cabin door, peering through and blinking at the sight. The cabin of the Jolly Roger was laid before her, but different than when she had ever seen it. It was organized, pristine, and in the middle of it Killian rocked on his heels as a misty Liam sat in a chair watching him. Liam swirled a glass in his see through hands, and sighed deeply at Killian’s question. The only thing that had faded color, as if a candle was placed behind paper, was Killian.
"David N'lan brings news that the Goblin scourge is attempting to recreate an ancient weapon, used to summon a terrible evil. If it's true -"
"It can't be. The war those creatures have started is the most evil thing we have ever faced. What could possibly be more -" Killian snapped in irritation. A misty messenger herald the color of milk moved by Emma, freezing her in its wake, but interrupting Killian’s diatribe.
"M'lords, urgent news from the Blackwater. A Goblin raid, slaughter, they're pillaging our lands, they're raiding the ladies school, I… I couldn't…" The man gave a deep sigh, and fell to the floor, his misty form fading into the cold air.
"Milah!" Killian hissed, Liam standing at once to check the man's pulse. He shook his head, his fists balled as his shoulders rose.
"Elsa, the women, Gods! I have to go, Killian stay here and -"
"Brother, you are the captain, you leaving will cause panic. I'll go, I'm faster and I have to check on Milah -"
"We'll both go. I know Elsa is capable, but I will bring her on board. Hell, I'll bring her entire damn castle on board if she is safe. I can't -"
"I'll have her send word to you. You have to stay Captain. You know you do." Killian clapped a hand on his brother’s back and Liam rose, turning to do the same.
"Get back here immediately once you confirm they are safe, Lieutenant. Do not risk any more bloodshed." Liam nodded, Killian returning the gesture. He moved quickly to where Emma was standing, oblivious of her. "And Lieutenant?"
"Yes, Captain?" Killian turned, looking at Liam. Liam faded, slowly melting away before her eyes.
"Be careful."
"Aye, Captain." Killian said, walking through her.
She gasped, feeling like she was falling from a great height, the world shifting as the wreckage of burning stone structures bloomed from what had been the cabin. Emma whirled around, spotting Killian running into a courtyard. Ice magic flew past him, freezing multiple Goblin targets into a wall like structure.
"Elsa! Where are -" Killian yelled, Elsa's mist like form appeared, shooting ice over structures that burned. Emma lost her breath at the visage, the heavy weight of grief suddenly renewed again. They had fought so hard to survive, and lost so much. The apparitions of Ingrid leading a carriage and two large horses into the space, and Anna jumping from inside and hooking them to the leads came next.
"We're okay, we're all okay Killian." Elsa grimaced, holding her concentration as she spoke, still pouring out ice magic from outstretched hands. "My parents are already evacuating the fjord, and we think Nemo has my brother at sea. We're going to try to blend in with the mortals in the north until this fighting calms. I'll send you and Liam a location when I can."
"Be safe. We love you, I'll tell Liam -"
Elsa interrupted him with a scoff. "I'll tell him, because I begged that idiot not to consign in this war, but here you both are! Go get Milah, tell her that she and the other ladies who are barricaded in the school should head north. We'll help them settle, but the Goblins don't fare well in the cold."
"I'll send her along shortly. Be well, soon to be sisters."
"Be careful!" Anna called from the carriage, and Ingrid gave a nod.
Emma was pulled forward into another shifting scene, as if attached by string. This was obviously not her nightmare, instead possibly a strange memory of Killian’s, but it made no sense. If it was a memory, it certainly wasn't nightmare material. There was nothing that made her feel frightened, no one being hurt, and he would find Milah holding down the lady's school. Unless…
A stone hallway rolled out in front of her, large wooden doors splintered as she walked through, pushed back furniture piled high against them. Killian’s voice echoed against the stone as he rushed down the hall searching for something, doors thrown open, some broken or ripped away from their jamb, others hanging by hinges. Fabric stuck in the splinters of a few; crinoline, lace, and taffeta ripped from gowns, red spattering both on the floor and on fabric. Emma’s breath caught.
"Milah! Where are you love?" Killian threw open a door that fell immediately aside off its bent hinges. The room was upturned as if a whirlwind had blown through. Glass crunched under his boots, books and stray paper littered the floor, the bed was a splintered and bowed beast that Feathers had burst from. Red pooled on parchment, loose on the floor, claw marks gauged deep into a canvas painting of blossoms. Killian made a choked noise, rushing from the room, Emma following as fast as her feet could carry her. Fire met them at the end of a corridor, and they raced through it, leaping out a window onto a parapet as beams crumbled behind them.
Goblin riders spurred horses below them while Emma followed close behind Killian, sliding down tile shingled roofs. Women screamed in the night carried over scaled shoulders, others in burlap bags, and others still were unconscious or dazed, too stunned to fight. Emma barely caught herself as they followed, racing on the stone walls and buttresses, Killian secure in his footing. It was as though he'd done this a thousand times, and maybe he had with how close this was to his home. They landed one after the other on solid ground, Emma stumbling as Killian leapt to catch a rider, pushing him off his horse. The Goblin tumbled from its mount, and Killian freed the woman who had been tied to the bridle at the front.
"Run, run and head north. Tell any other ladies you find to do the same. Be quick, and go!" She ran off with a nod, and he spurred his horse on, just as Emma managed to wrap her arms around his back. The jolt forward had her scrambling to grasp at him, his riding like a man chased by the devourer Gods of legend. He dispatched a Goblin seemingly for a weapon, and another to cut open a bag with his stolen halberd, a ginger haired woman falling free and thanking him while he continued his search.
Up ahead, Emma caught sight of Milah first, her bloodied head and dark hair bright in the moonlight. Time slowed around them. Killian raised the halberd, calling her name, chasing the Goblin pack. He threw the weapon with force, the portal opened up in the ground, horses rearing up as the Goblins grabbed their stolen treasures, jumping into the newly opened nothingness. The halberd sunk into the flank of a horse, the beast screaming madly as it flailed and kicked in agony. Killian barely avoided it while jumping from his mount to run towards the shrinking portal. Milah and her grinning capturer were among the last to jump, laughter falling away as Killian clawed at the dirt where they had been.
Emma stepped down from the horse as it brought her close to him, his screams and cries breaking her. She reached for him, but he spun to stalk towards her, pushing through her, and she fell again. Landing hard, wind rushed out of her mouth just as thunder boomed above her. Lightning lit the sky, and she could see Killian climbing up a rocky outcropping, another strike almost hitting him as rain pelted down.
Emma scrambled to follow, remembering his reaction to the violent thunderstorm at sea. Reaching the top, she could see movement on the summit of the mountain. A fire poured smoke, a figure chanting unintelligible words as lightning crackled. Below cannons fired on the cliff face, the Fae navy in its full regalia just like the pictures she had seen of that night - Oh Gods , that night - it was those few days that led to -
Killian climbed desperately towards the top, slipping and throwing himself forward in single-minded determination. He fought wind, avoided flying tree limbs and branches, found foot holds in rock that could not shelve coins as Emma tried to keep up. A slick boulder pointed skyward, his feet and hands finding purchase with difficulty, but he pulled himself up, reaching up as thunder sounded from exactly above them, his eyes shooting skyward. There was a pause where everything seemed to stop, the entire world going quiet for a single piece of a second.
Lightning struck the boulder, Killian slipping backward into a mud puddle, landing with a heavy thud. Emma gasped, the rain pouring sideways, another bolt illuminating his prone sprawl as something greater than thunder exploded above them with a force that blew Emma from her perch. She caught herself just barely, but felt the air shift. Looking up, she saw it.
The Goblin King had his hands raised to the sky, an opening above him that poured out a spout of pure jet blackness, dark even against the stormy night. It moved, sinewy snake-like tentacles stretching as it pulled down into a groping mass.
The Darkness.
Another bout of lightning flashing blinded Emma, but when she blinked it away the Darkness was gone. Turning, she saw Killian shift up on his elbows as it floated in front of him. Words began to whisper in her head, the voice old and withered. It spoke like birds flying into windows, the creak of leather against skin in punishment, insects being crushed, the dying bleats of an animal in pain - it overpowered her in its hideous sound, but she had to hear its words, its promises and lies.
"I can give you your vengeance… I can help you avenge your lost love, and deal out punishment for those who wronged you. I can make you stronger, better, more powerful than you ever dreamed. I can destroy anything that should stand in your way, anyone who dares to defy you. Give yourself to me, feel the euphoria of everything you seek, every impulse and every anger met with my unstoppable force."
"How?" Killian rasped out, his fingers outstretched.
"Let me choose you as my vessel. Let me give you immortal life. Let us do many terrible and wondrous things together. With you and I sharing your confines, we shall tear the world asunder with your vengeance."
"I will. I will give myself to you." Killian’s hand was engulfed by the blackness, sticky strands of it wrenching themselves down his arm as he howled.
"You were a fool, the one who used to be Killian Jones. You were weak, and worthless." Killian’s body rose, the black mass tearing at him, attacking his throat and eyes. Emma covered her mouth with both hands as she shook her head, his choked noises making her sick. She prayed for this nightmare to end, understanding why it was shown to her. He fell to the ground retching as the voice echoed, "Now you rise as the Dark One."
The sensation of a bug digging at her ear made her claw at her face. Killian did the same, the voice laughing as her senses felt overwhelmed, the urges of something unnatural pushing her in every direction, rage building and hatred growing with every breath. Killian let out a menacing growl, throwing himself up the boulder where he had slipped previously, his foot leaving a crushing imprint as he launched from it. The mountain top was so close and Emma pushed herself to catch up, trailing behind him by only a small distance.
At the summit of the mountain the Goblin King came into view, and Killian ran toward the smiling creature. A pulling feeling sucked the air from Emma's lungs, and she fell to her knees, watching as the King raised a glowing orange, newly forged Dagger to the sky. It steamed in the rain, Killian falling to his knees. The thing inside his head howled like a wild animal with its leg caught in a trap.
The Goblin King only laughed.
"You will do, I suppose. It should have been me, but that is why you come prepared." The King twittered again, stroking a finger along the blade as Killian’s name appeared. "If it can't be me, at least I control the one it is."
Emma felt nausea roil in her stomach. Killian's eyes darted toward where cannons fired from below, cracking against the mountain from the sea. His heart thundered in time with the storm.
"You and I shall have so much fun, pet," the Goblin King purred, holding the Dagger out in front of him like a talisman.
"Dark One. I command you to destroy the entire fleet below. Leave no survivors."
The words echoed, and the thing, the Darkness laughed in delight in the Goblin King’s voice, the sound awful in its menace. Killian took several steps toward the cliff and she stood to join him, surveying the ships below. Her hands touched his own but he did not notice or respond. Blood leaked through his shirt in full color, the wound on his side he sustained in the palace nightmare still there even here. Ripping at her skirt, she tied a few of the driest pieces she could around his shirt, pleased when they stayed.
Touching him had an additional effect. Now she could hear his voice, his pleading and begging to stop; that Liam was below, his brother, not his brother, anyone but his brother, his own life, not his brother's -
You already sold me your life, I've merely extended it. Sorry, Dearie.
This wasn't vengeance, this was not what he was promised, this was -
You said you wanted revenge, your blackheart spoke true and called for its vengeance. Vengeance you shall have. The Dagger will take everything else, carve away all your weaknesses. The Dark One has no time for shame or guilt unless it feeds our purpose.
The Dark One raised his hand, and fire rained from the sky, ships exploding one by one. Somehow she knew fire raged through Killian too, it burned everything but what it needed to ash. Darkness oozed into every barren space erasing all the qualities it deemed useless, all the qualities that wouldn't serve its purposes and the whims of its master.
Your brother died in pain, by your very hand. Milah will die tortured in ways that you cannot fathom. You have failed everyone. What do you feel?
Screams echoed as ships burned, the Dark One floating over the massacre and laughing as he crushed former brothers at arms together. The storm cleared, survivors being killed with sadistic glee by the madman under the Goblin King’s control. As the dawn broke, Emma was forced to move along with what once was Killian; through the wreckage of corpses, the air smoky with ash, and the littered debris. The water was red and thick with blood, just as the legends said.
I feel… nothing.
When the memory seemed to blur and she found herself again in the dark, Emma let herself cry from the sights she had seen. The entirety of knowing what had happened, from the emotions that she was forced to feel and the destruction, catalysts for so much bloodshed - it was too much. Killian appeared out of the gloom, and when he tried to comfort her, she flinched away.
"I'm sorry, I can't, I can't right now -" she sobbed, and he nodded.
"You don't have to be sorry. You don't have to even - I have no way of living with what I've done. I understand if you hate me. I hate me," Killian breathed out, looking at his hands. They trembled, but he slowly closed them, and smiled crookedly. "The worst part is that I enjoyed it. I enjoyed killing all those people. I enjoyed the power, and the destruction I could create. Every time it storms I remember that feeling in my veins and how good it felt, how addictive it was even as my brother lay dead below. I want it back, regardless of all the damage I did - "
"No. The Darkness wants that. You don't. You… I heard you begging for it to stop, I heard you screaming -"
"Are you sure? Are you sure I didn't? How can you be sure I still don't enjoy hurting and killing? It would be so easy to give myself in, to simply…" The bottom dropped out, his hand gripping her wrist tightly as she dangled. "Rip you apart."
Throwing her into the vast darkness, Emma fell screaming, landing on softness. She breathed out, hissing Killian’s name, knowing that they must have been separated. Moving to sit up, the bed creaked below her in the dark.
"No," Emma whispered, shaking her head. "No, no no -"
"Yes." Nil purred from somewhere in the dark.
Emma shrieked, throwing herself from the bed, banging around the room trying to find the escape. Yelling Killian’s name, a hand pulled her back to the bed by her damp hair, tightening the binds that haunted her nightmares.
